• Published 8th Apr 2012
  • 6,722 Views, 297 Comments

Horns, Hooves, and Fur - Deyeaz



A teenager falls into a river enchanted by Lyra and ends up in Equestria... as a satyr.

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XVII - A Chat With Royalty (Return To Canterlot: Part II)

XVII - A Chat With Royalty

Return To Canterlot: Part II

Praxis and Jace had reached the base of Canterlot’s mountain. They stared up at the gargantuan landscape of stone, their eyes barely distinguishing the granitic structure of the Royal City.

Last one there is a rotten Scootaloo’s egg?” Praxis told Jace.

“You’re on, Goat-Boy.” the human chuckled to the weresatyr. Jace used his magic abilities to transform his staff into the Chain Scythe. He pulled the skull down on the ground, the serrated blade digging slightly into the rock. “Ready?”

Pfft. Let’s just get started, eh?” Jace nodded at Praxis’s sentence. “3...2...1!

Jace planted his feet on both sides of the black skull and used more magic to rev the barbed wire of the scythe’s blade. The serrated edges revolved around the blade at rapid speeds as Jace shot up the mountain like a cork in water.

Well, I never expected that,” Praxis groaned before bolting up the mountain, running on all fours as he used his talons to help him claw up the rocky obstruction. He was picking up speed, finally catching up to Jace when they were a quarter of the way up the mountain. The chainsaw sounds of the human’s weapon rang through the night sky, bits of rock getting dislodged as the blade ran over them.

“TONY HAWK CAN SUUUUUUCK MYYYYYYY DIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!” Jace shouted to him.

TOO BAD VINYL’S ALREADY DOING THAT!!!” Praxis retorted, troll face at the ready.

“GO TO HELL!!!”

THANKS, I’LL SAVE YOU A SPOT!!!

“FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!!!”

Jace was extremely angry. Praxis’s expression was made evident to him in the moonlight as the weresatyr gave a hearty laugh.

‘Damn your troll face, you livestock sonuvabitch!’ Jace mentally roared. They were now two-thirds up the mountain.

Hey, Jace! I’ve got a plan for when we meet the princesses!” Praxis called to him.

“What is it?” Jace replied a little too harshly. He was still rather infuriated that Praxis had been a smart-ass to him.

I’ll tell ya when we get to the mountain!


After several minutes of arguing over who had gotten to the top of the mountain first, Praxis gave Jace the information of his little plan.

“So will this work?” Jace asked. The duo had finally reached their goal of getting to the castle. They had gone over their plan that Praxis mentioned earlier.

Hell yeah, man. This is going to be ‘LOL’-worthy,” he promised. “Believe it.

“Alright, dude.” Jace was a little excited as he watched Praxis leapt high up into the air, turn upside-down at the peak of his jump, and rotate furiously, his claws giving him easy access to the underground world below them. “This is gonna be funny as hell,” Jace mused.

He traipsed up the stone pathway to Canterlot’s Castle, Praxis burrowing through the dirt and rock below him.

‘How are you even seeing where you’re going?’ Jace thought, more at Praxis than at anything else, even though the weresatyr could not hear him.

Holy shit, did I just hear you THINK?

‘Praxis, is that you!?’

...NOO, I’M JUST YOUR AVERAGE MOTHERFUCKING MOLE, DIGGING ALONG!!!’ Praxis thought back sarcastically. ‘Now answer the question.

‘I don’t know...’ Jace started, then he looked at his hands. The crimson aura of his magic had encased them without his knowing it. ‘Ohhh, it was my magic.’

Your magic allows telepathy?’ Praxis mentally asked. ‘MY MIND IS NOT SAFE ANYMORE.

‘You mad, BROradov?’

Nope. I’m actually a little scared for you, BROmero.

‘Now will you answer MY question?’

What, about me and watching where I’m going? I’m not SEEING, I’m LISTENING. I can hear your footfalls with my sensitive hearing, and I’m following it.

‘Well, shit. Not bad.’

Eh. I feel as blind as a bat, though, and the taste of dirt sucks. Oh, and judging by the number of oncoming hoofsteps, we’re getting closer to the Princesses... and there’s an assload of guards dead ahead.

‘Pfft, no way!’ They were now in the gardens of the Castle, the aroma of flowers teasing Jace’s nose.

“HALT!” A deep voice bellowed at Jace.

Told ya.

“What are you doing here in the dead of night?” Jace whirled around to witness a hoard of Royal Guards, their gold armor glinting in the radiance of the descending moon, their long silver poles with knobs on the ends of them giving off little bits of electrical energy. Before long, the guards encircled him.

“What, a guy can’t go for an evening stroll?” Jace said innocently, clenching and unclenching the disguised scythe.

“No, especially when there could be more than one ‘guy’ here,” said the same deep voice. Jace gulped. He saw that the speaker was a stallion in the same armor, yet he was taller and had purple eyes. Like his comrades, he was holding a stun spear like them. “Jace Romero, you are under arrest for affiliating with the notorious weresatyr, Praxis Moradov. You can come out now, demon!” The stallion pounded the ground with his stun spear. Jace heard his friend grumble in pain.

OW! Not so loud!’ Praxis mentally bellowed, though it did no good. Only Jace could hear his thoughts.

‘Praxis, abort! Abort the mission!’

Hell no! I wanna hear you kick their asses! Besides, those bastards tried to shoot me and I wanna pull this prank!

“What in blazes is going on?”

The Royal Guards and Jace rounded about to see two figures gliding down towards them. Princess Celestia and her sister, Princess Luna, landed cleanly in front of Jace. He, and the guards gave a deep bow to the two.

“That is enough, all of you,” Celestia calmly said to them. They arose from the ground. “And you too, Praxis. You can come out now.”

After a few moments, nothing happened. Then they saw a lump of soil begin to rise up. Before long, Praxis’s head burst out of the soil... right underneath Luna’s belly.

Heh, heh. Diggity diggity doo,” he chuckled, moving his head back and forth with every word, biting his lower lip afterwards. Jace fell over on the ground after two seconds, laughing loudly. Celestia gave little giggles at the antic, while Luna, who was taken by surprise, jumped up a foot in the air before preparing to unleash her almighty Royal Canterlot Voice upon him.The Royal Guards were merely confused; only a few let out a few weak chuckles.

“THAT WAS AWESOME, MAN!” Jace wailed through his laughter. He brohoofed Praxis once he had emerged entirely from the soil.

“That was planned?” Celestia said, her fit of giggling now ending. Jace and Praxis nodded earnestly.

“Erm, kinda,” Jace confessed. “We never expected the guards.”

“Speaking of which... Guards, you may leave.”

“But, Princess!” One of the guards complained. “The satyr could be up to something!”

“I think we have this under control,” Celestia said calmly. With that, the Royal Guards began to return to castle’s entrance.

HOW DARETH THOU INVADETH THE LUNAR PRINCESS’S PRIVACY, CREATURE!” Luna bellowed once they were gone.

Art thou mad, mine princess?” Praxis said, nudging Luna with an elbow. Luna was prepared to bitchslap him into oblivion... until she was taken aback by his words.

“Thou speaketh it?” she asked.

Yes, indeed, I speaketh it.” he said, becoming suave and slick at not a moment’s hesitation.

“My goodness. And we- erm, I thought Celestia and I ‘twere the only ones capable of speaking Old Equestrian. That is quite the statistical anomaly. I seemed to have misjudgedeth thee.” Luna gazed at the black talons that curved dangerously, shining alongside his exotic black markings in the moonlight. “So THESE art how thou hath survived the fall?”

Correct, milady.” He wrapped an arm around her neck, taking caution not to cut her. She tried to hide her blushing face, yet he still spotted it. “What’s with the blushing?” He snapped out of his Old Equestrian Speak trance.

“If I didn’t know any better,” Celestia began, “I would assume that little Lu-Lu here might have a little crush on one of Equestria’s FORMER most wanted creature.”

“N-no!” Luna exclaimed, immediately retracted from Praxis’s long and comforting arm. “Tia, how could you assume such a silly thing?”

“Don’t deny it, Lu-Lu~” Celestia sang. Then she was reminded of something. She looked back at the moon, then at Praxis. “Which reminds me, I win the bet. Fifty Bits. C’mon.” She stuck out her hoof, demanding the money to be paid upfront.

Hold up, hold up, hold up,” Praxis intervened. “FORMER? So... not only does Luna want me--

“Do not!” Luna complained.

Uh-huh. Sure,” he continued, unconvinced. “And not only did you two BET on me, but...I’m not wanted?

“I don’t think so,” Celestia confessed. “The good you’ve done easily outweighs the bad. So... you’re scot free, Praxis.”

Damnit... I was hoping I could turn mySELF in to get the 3000 bits.” The three others gave a small chuckle at his joke. “Aw well, can’t win ‘em all.

“Speaking of NOT winning....” Celestia rounded on Luna again. “I’m waitiiiing~”

“Oh, horse apples,” Luna swore. She tried to reach into her “pockets”, yet there was no distinguishable and pleasant jingle of the bag of Bits that she required in them.

“Curses,” she finally said. “I seem to have misplaced them in my room.”

I’ll get it!” Praxis volunteered. “Where’s your room?

“The highest tower,” Luna informed him, pointing at the aforementioned location, which sat comfortably in the middle of the castle. Without a moment’s notice, Praxis took off towards the tower, using his curved talons once more to climb up one of them. The Princesses watched in awe as he hastily made it to the top of one tower, balancing on the flagpole. Praxis looked for something that would aid him in his endeavor. He spotted a long rope, bearing Canterlot banners. He smiled, took a deep breath and, with arms akimbo, he jumped, disappearing from view.

“That crazy bastard!” Jace shouted in despair. He and the Princesses (Celestia levitated him with her magic) had flown up to watch the weresatyr at work. Praxis was running along a thick length of rope like a ninja, the banners of the rope getting jostled as he hurried along it and made his way to Luna’s tower. “Uhm, Princess...” Jace began, witnessing Praxis climb the tower. “I don’t mean to be rude or anything but...” His hands were sheathed in his red magic and he pushed out of her magic hold, levitating himself with his own magic. “...I got this.”

Celestia looked at the now floating human, giving a nod to show that he indeed, ‘had this’. Looking back at the weresatyr that had scaled half the castle by now, Jace floating over to him, grabbing onto a loose brick. “Last one up’s a rotten Scootaloo egg!” He chuckled as he jumped off and floated himself, taking the staff and snapping it in half. He spun the halves around and hit the ends on the side of the castle, two scythe blades ejecting. He started to climb by putting one blade in after the other. He was almost as fast as Praxis.

Glad to see you could make it, slowpoke!” Praxis said to him.

“Who knew that they were that skilled?” Luna remarked, going starry-eyed at them both. Celestia just shot her a glare.

“Allow me to remind you,” she said. She began waving her front hooves mystically around her horn, then pushing her hooves out. She turned around sharply, pretended to catch something, then threw it away to the side. She was acting out how Praxis had disposed of her almighty solar flare like an empty can. “Does that answer your question?”

“Oh,” the lunar princess said.

Jace couldn’t hear anything around him. The adrenaline pumping through his system blocked out his hearing to get the other senses sharpened. His eyes were focused on the climb ahead of him. Soon, he got to be faster and eventually pulled the blades from the walls and just let himself fall. He closed his eyes as he fell, getting a scare out of the princesses.

“Tia! Help him!” Luna wailed to her elder sister as Jace free-falled. Celestia got a spell ready, but as she was about to cast, a boom was heard from below her. She stopped charging and looked down to see Jace’s legs and arms enveloped in a black substance.

“FIVE SECOND HEAD START, FLUFFY!” he yelled up as he grabbed onto the side of the castle. “That’s all you get!” His red glow returned as he pulled himself up and his legs were sheathed in the red glow, making him stick to the side of the castle. “Five, four, three, two, one, ready or not! Heh, HERE I COME!” He took off at full speed up the castle, running as if he was on horizontal land. The flat surface made his running faster and faster as he soon caught up to Praxis again.

“Wussumatter Prax? Guess a weresatyr is no match for a reaper mage.” A soft chuckle was let out as his eyes were covered with a pair of what seemed to be shades. “Gotta jet.” He smirked and let his hands fall down under him, let out a glow, and propel him to go faster than Praxis.

Oh, Goddamnit,” Praxis complained, giving himself one last pull removing his talons from the tower’s walls and copying Jace’s form of movement as he started to pick up more speed.

He was right next to Jace when--

*BOOOOOOOOOOM*

“HOLY SHIT!!!” Jace exclaimed, the wind of the black and brown sonic boom nearly veering him off course. He watched his sunglasses dislodged from his head and break as they landed on the cobblestone floor of the castle. “HOW IN THE HELL?!”

BIIIIIIITCH!!!” Praxis called back as he shot up the tower and used his talons to swing into an open window and into the room of Princess Luna. Jace finally came in through the window a split second after Praxis, the former’s eyes shrinking to pinpoints. His fists were clenched around his sagewood staff and were shaking viciously.

“NOOOOOOOO! HOW COULD I HAVE LOST?!” Jace wailed in feigned despair. Praxis removed a pair of black sunglasses from Luna’s dresser and put them on.

Deal with it.

“Anyways... was that a fucking Sonic Darkboom?” Jace stared at Praxis as he walked over to him, who had to nod awkwardly. “‘Cause it fucked with my Sonic Mageboom. Original, I know.” Praxis raised a brow at the names of the speeds the two could reach. “Hey, it’s the only thing I can think of... when in reaper form, I do a Sonic Deathboom.”

Would you shut your trap of your nonsense!?

Jace shot Praxis his greatest troll-face.

“You mad, Prax?” he asked obnoxiously.

I ain’t even mad, Jay,” he responded calmly. “Now where is that bag of Bits?” He glanced around left and right, searching for something that would hold the golden currency.

“I got this. I lose shit all the time. All I need is a Bit...” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of the shiny metal coins. “...and my magic will scope out the same object. Handy for when you lose your socks in a pile of pizza boxes and beer cans.” The coins started to have a crimson aura of magic surround them as Jace channeled his magic into them. Simultaneously, a faint light the same color of Jace’s magic began to emanate from underneath Luna’s bed.

“You gonna go get it?” Jace nudged Praxis in the ribs.

Um, hell no. Hello?!” Praxis rubbed his ribs and shot a fiery-eyed glare at Jace. “That’s a disrespect of privacy. That is bad, and you should feel bad.

“There might be some kinky things down there~”

That piqued Praxis’s curiosity. “This interests me....” Without further adieu, he got low to the floor and started looking for the Bits bag.

‘Hah, what a dumbass,’ mused Jace.

‘I heard that,’ Praxis thought.

“DAMN IT!” Jace stomped in frustration as he shouted this. “Why, why, WHY did I leave my magic on still!?” He dispelled the magic aura he had around his hands and the small mound of Bits that rested in his palm.

Wow, you’re bad at this,” Praxis told him verbally

“Did you find it yet?” Jace was growing impatient. ‘At least I can actually do arcane magic..’

All I see are old candy bar wrappers and a few Cosmarepolitans.

“Is Fleur de Lis on there?” Jace was a little more hopeful, his impatience wiped away.

Fuck yeah, dude... and she’s in a kinky saddle... with black stockings!

“Ka-ching!”

Yeah, I’m beginning to think Luna and Celestia read these things for MORE than the makeup sections... if you know what I mean.

Jace tried to suppress the laughter that would ensue. “I know EXACTLY what you mean, man. And I don’t blame them.”

Ooh, a can!” The sound of metal being devoured soon followed after that statement.

“Now is not snack time!” Jace almost threw his handful of Bits out the window from how apoplectic he had become.

Screw you, you slave driver!” Praxis shouted, mouth full of aluminum.”*Gulp* oh hey, I found it!” Praxis crawled out of the midnight blue bed and stood up, proudly holding up a moderately sized pouch of Bits. He gave it a shake to confirm that there was indeed money in it. A satisfying jingle then followed.

“Nicely done,” Jace told him. “Guess we’d better head back.”

Too right.


“Ah, you’re back.” Celestia nodded at the duo of friends as they returned, handing the solar deity the bag of Bits she wanted. “I’m glad to see you that two haven’t killed each other.”

”Well, it was kinda hard not to,” Jace said sarcastically, giving Praxis another nudge in the ribs. The weresatyr gave a weak chuckle.

“Excellent.” Luna turned to Celestia. “Ready, sister?”

“Ready when you are, Luna.” She and Luna stood back to back (plot to plot?) and raised their heads, their spiraling horns elevated high into the air, ready to pierce the heavens. A blue magic aura encased Luna’s horn, a golden aura encased Celestia’s. By Luna’s will, the moon began to descend out of sight, ushering in the molten light of Celestia’s sun.

As the sun finally arose into view, bathing the world in its luminance, Praxis felt a gentle tug right behind his navel. The Curse Seal began to glow. Another glow, white and beginning at his chest, made itself evident as it encased him in its radiant light. Tendrils of pureness started to loosely shroud around him, yet they held him as a mother would its babe. He started to levitate into the air, knees bent as he clutched his head. The markings that covered his body were beginning to fade away. The long black talons that accented his hands were receding, turning back into blunt, clear nails. His white messy hair seemed to shoot back into his scalp as they turned back into brown. The horns on his head shot back into his skull along with his hair, no longer meandering as they became simple curves of black again. The fur on his legs and his cloven hooves returned to their usual brown hue. His sharp teeth became flat, his forked tongue became rounded, and his eyes returned to bearing white vitreous fluid, round pupils, and brown irises.

The strange light dissipated, specks of it floating away. The normal Praxis fell to the floor with a thud. His eyelids were heavy, his head was pounding, and his limbs were aching. The Princesses and Jace came to the temporarily fallen satyr’s aid.

“Ow...” Praxis groaned, rubbing his temples. “I feel like I got ran over by a speeding semi on the highway...” He looked down at his navel and gulped. While he had returned to normal, not all of the markings that tattooed him were gone: more of them still lingered, his entire abdomen now coated in them.

“Glad to see you’re normal now, Fluffy.” Jace gave his hand to help Praxis arise.

“Indeed,” Luna concurred. “‘Twas quite a sight, Praxis. And I thanketh both thee and thy companion Jace for bringing me mine currency.”

“Ah, ‘twas nothing, ma’am.” Praxis’s Shakespony ‘swag’ had returned as he crossed his arms in pride. Luna released a short burst of giggles.

“Very well, break it up, you too.” Celestia had on her best poker face, yet on the inside, she was bubbling with joy. Her sister Luna and the satyr were perfect bait for the giant fish of blackmail. “Now let me continue raising the sun ALL the way up first.”

Jace’s face didn’t change much through the process, just waiting for her to do what she needed to do. When finished, he stepped forward. “Dear Princesses, I am honestly humbled to have gone and done your little fetch quest but, I must know of a certain pony. A dear friend who has taken off for Stalliongrad and into the Zone...”

“The Zone, you say?” At the mention of the Goddess-forsaken land of radioactively-altered and undead ponies, Celestia’s poker face was a dropped egg, breaking into pieces and revealing her inner feeling: worry. “Oh, my. What was his name?”

“Paskov Lington, a friend that came from Stalliongrad. He actually got me to a point where I was thinking about becoming a S.T.A.L.K.E.R.” Celestia shook her head and looked at Jace with worry.

“I swear, Jason, if you do anything stupid, I wouldn’t be able to ever forgive myself. You and Coal were the first humans here in Equestria, and it devastated me when Coal died.”

“Yeah, I know... I miss the guy, I really do. But I’ve moved on after a while. Now, is it possible to track him, or am I going to have to go to Stalliongrad?” Celestia’s eyes widened a bit at the mention of Jace going there himself.

“Well... I’m afraid I can’t do that, Jace. I’m sorry, but... even I’m not that powerful.” Jace nodded in understanding at the solar deity’s words.

“Then I take my leave after the threat of Insanity is taken care of.” This got Praxis worried next.

“That reminds me of what we came for.” Praxis looked around to see if anypony was coming. When the coast was clear, he pressed on. “Insanity might be planning something big, like, end-of-the-world big. But I have a simple idea. Since he was the one who made me into the weresatyr, Jace presumes we have to destroy him in order to cure me.”

“But how?” Celestia was baffled at the very thought of slaying someone more powerful than her and Luna combined. “It is obviously easier said than done, Praxis.”

“Hey, I said it was simple, not easy.”

“Is... is this Shadow Fiber?” Luna, who was bored with the idea of fighting - despite there were countless battles and wars a thousand years prior - had scooped her hoof under Praxis’s muscle shirt and pulled it to her muzzle, examining it thoroughly.

“Erm... yes?” said the satyr, confused at the sudden change of topic.

“How in all of Equestria did you acquire such a rare thing?” asked Celestia. “It was banned eight years ago!”

“Let’s just say... me and Prax know a very good friend...” Jace told her.

“But that’s not important!” Praxis raised his hands to stop the irrelevant conversation at hand. “What’s important is that we get rid of Insanity before I start actually DYING from my Corruption... is that possible?”

“Allow me to examine.” Celestia told him. She placed the tip of her horn on his navel and closed her eyes, concentrating on the mysteries that the Curse Seal had barred access to. Jace and Luna passed the time by playing patty-cake, and Luna was winning by a long shot. Hooves were much harder than the flesh of hands, therefore they cause the bearer of the latter to wince in pain whenever the former came in contact with it.

Just as Celestia’s horn began to glow to solve the anomaly, she was interrupted by somepony shouting her and Luna’s royal titles.

“Princesses!”

Praxis, Jace, and the Princesses turned to see a white unicorn stallion galloping towards them. He was helmetless, his royal blue mane and tail, streaked with cyan, trailed in the wind. He was wearing a red sleeved shirt, smoothed and cleaned to resemble something that reminded Jace and Praxis of the shirt Prince William wore on ths Royal Wedding back on Earth. The stallion’s Cutie Mark, a purple shield with a hot pink six-sided starburst, was a metal put upon his chest. Shining Armor had sweat running down his face when he had received the news.

“Princesses!” Shining heaved, flicking the perspiration from off of his brow. “I have very bad news.” He took notice to Jace and nodded in a friendly manner to him. “Hello, Jace,” he said.

“‘Sup?” Jace responded. Praxis caught Shining’s eye, and quick as a whip, the stallion levitated the satyr abruptly and swiftly with his magic

“AH! DAMN IT! PUT ME DOWN!” Praxis was flipping and turning in midair, the rotations and revolutions making him nauseous. “STOP IT! I’M GETTING DIZZY, YOU CHEAPSHOT-TAKING MOTHERFU-”

“Shining Armor!” Luna interrupted Praxis before he could commence his profane rant. “Please... put our guest down.”

The captain of the Royal Guard stared at the lunar princess like she was crazy. Yet, unlike Admiral Charcoal, he obeyed her. The purple magical grip he had on Praxis had vanished. The satyr fell to the ground for a second time, landing face first.

“Mmkph, I RMMPHH hpmht emmtmmg dirmph,” he said in a muffled voice, his mouth half-full with the garden’s peat.

“What’d he say?” Shining Armor asked.

“I believe he said, ‘OK, I REALLY hate eating dirt’?” Celestia then shrugged at her guess. Praxis lifted his face out of the soil and spat it out. He dusted off his clothes and shook the dirt out of his fur.

“Princesses,” he began. “With all due respect, may I ask as to why you wanted me to release the satyr? Isn’t he wanted?”

“Not anymore,” Celestia told him.

“Oh....” Shining turned to Praxis. “Sorry about that.” He stuck out his hoof. “Shining Armor, captain of the Royal Guard and Twilight Sparkle’s brother.”

“Apology accepted, Mr. Armor.” Praxis grabbed Shining’s extended hoof and shook it firmly. “Name’s Praxis Moradov. Satyr, singer, and...” He glanced at Princess Luna. “Ladie’s man. Or, mare’s stallion. Whichever.”

“You’re in WAY over your head, Fluffy,” Luna told him icily, though she couldn’t conceal the faint blushing of her cheeks.

“Hey, hey, hey, ‘Fluffy’ is Vinyl and Jace’s schtick. Off limits to anypony else.”

“Hold on, our messenger hawk brought me important news to tell you all.” Shining took control of the board.

“WE’RE GOING TO DIDNEY WORL?!” Jace feigned his excitement, yet acted it out very well as he thrusted his fists into the air in celebration.

“...No,” Shining deadpanned. “No, we’re not.”

“B’aaww.”

“I have news, and it’s VERY bad. Apparently... Stalliongrad had been attacked. It’s a barren wasteland now, to nopony’s surprise, but... something’s off. Rather than the zombies staying IN the Zone, they seem to be moving OUT of it. Reports say that they were moving towards Baltimare... and Insanity is their ringleader.

“Ok, for one Shining, I can tell you right now that is complete bullcrap. I’ve done my research on the Zone. Much like an occurrence that took place in my world; Chernobyl, Ukraine. The blast radius of that Magical Reactor that made the Zone is the only thing keeping the mutants ALIVE. If you stray too far, they fall over from lack of radiation that keeps them going. If you are getting reports, then they’re probably some tourists or newcomers to the area.” Jace looked at Shining, who was wearing a shocked expression. “Yes, I did my homework on this. I have a friend in the Zone right now. If they did get out, then S.T.A.L.K.E.R.S. would be swarming the area to take care of the problem.”

“But I’m TELLING you, Jace, something is definitely up. These... THINGS... have a mind of their own, rather than before, when they would just wander around. If Insanity is their leader, and he is the overlord of both darkness and madness, then he did... SOMETHING... to make the zombies survive outside the Magical Reactor’s blast radius. Some of the S.T.A.L.K.E.R.S were actually KILLED in action... one of them even reported to us that they were like machines. Ghostly, bloodthirsty machines. I have reason to suspect that Insanity put some sort of curse on them, making them nigh impervious to the damage done by the S.T.A.L.K.E.R.S.” Jace’s jaw dropped at Shining’s solid, albeit contradictory, fact. “Damn straight, son.”

“Oh, shit. Please let Paskov be alright...” He sighed and paced in a circle. “If he is making them stay alive OUTSIDE of the Zone, then he has to have some serious Magical Radiation to keep them going.”

“Either that,” Praxis started, “or Insanity has possessed them somehow... when I was dreaming one time, on the day I got the Seal, Insanity sent these... weird, ethereal monsters attacking me in my mind. It didn’t hurt, but... they’re what made me succumb to his Curse.”

“And don’t worry. Paskov is fine: he’s the one who sent me the messenger hawk, after all. He and the remaining S.T.A.L.K.E.R.S evacuated before things got out of hoof.” Shining waved a hoof to dismiss any worries created by the issues.

It didn’t quite work.

“Stalliongrad is GONE?” Luna moaned in despair. “But that’s where me and Tia import their vo-” She stopped herself before she said the word “vodka”.

“Um...” Celestia picked up the pieces for her sister. “Vo... various items! Yes, that’s it!” She and Luna shared the exact same nervous smile. Praxis narrowed his eyes at how ridiculous their faces appeared. Was it him, or could he possibly read the two princesses emotions? Did he sense guilt and anxiety?

“Alright, then.” The satyr was still unconvinced.

“Well, then. Better get back to my post.” Shining Armor dashed off towards the castle’s entrance without a moment’s notice.

As Jace contemplated on the subject of the zombies escaping the Zone, he saw the blades of his scythes sticking up from the ground. He walked over and picked them up, hitting the two broken ends together to make it whole again. His magic wrapped around the crack and patched it together again, like nothing happened. He spun the double bladed scythe around a bit and smirked. “Well on a lighter note... hey, Prax, check it out. I’m Darth Maul.” He started to do several dangerous and crazy stunts with the scythe, spinning it around and around with ease.

“Yeah, probably not the best time for that, Jace....” He stopped when he heard this and the blade on the bottom of the scythe retracted.

“Sorry....” Walking over to the wall, he leaned against it. An arm reached out of the shadows and put it over Jace’s mouth. “MMFH! MMMM! MMMMMMMMM!!!” His muffled cries were heard by Praxis, whose acute sense of hearing surpassed anyone else’s by ten fold.

“Jace!” He ran to his friend, grabbing onto his arm as he was sucked into the shadows of the wall. “Hang on, pal! I’ll getcha out of this!”

“MMMMMFHH! MMMMMMMMM!!!!” Came the response as several more arms reached out and pulled Jace deeper into the darkness’s depths. “MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!” Was the last cry Jace could muster as he was sucked into the black of the wall.

Praxis, who had still been grabbing onto his friend’s arm for his dear life, was forced to let go. He fell onto his arse when Jace was gone. “No! We need to get him back!” He pounded on the wall, trying to punch the creatures that were no longer there. “GIVE HIM BACK, YOU BASTARDS!”

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