The Abyss
Joined 22nd Nov, 2012 ·
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Atleast we don't have to pretend that we came here for the deep and compelling story :)
Clop-tastic!
.........
Den outta den best thing I've read since the OJ Simpson trials–Abe Lincoln.
4548499 If you want a deep and compelling story, check out I'll Always be Here for You. Tis a good read!
4548556
I'll agree with this.
4548499
I find your use of the word "deep" ironic.
That was incredibly HOT!
4548556 My friend, how shameless can you be!? I offer you a like and a very nice comment and you go and offer me a link to another story!?
I shall give it a read, you beautiful motherfuckair :)
4548684 Thanks, glad you liked it! I'll definitely be writing more like this in the future.
(Sees the title)
You're not...
(Reads the description and looks at the preview image)
You're seriously not...
(Reads the fic)
My god, you fucking pervert! How bizarre, disgusting, and goddamn gross can you actually fucking be? This is shameless. Other clopfics at least have plots, this is just blatant smut. You disgusting person.
More please? XD
(No but seriously, I loved this. Your descriptiveness really captured the feel and made me feel like I was her toy! And it was GLORIOUS. :D)
Gotta love pointless clop for the sake of pointless clop!
4548751 True that. Why skip 2k words of setup when you can just go straight to the clop?
I fucking LOVE YOU!
"Yay!" 
All I could think of when reading the description was...
I just hope it doesn't disappoint me.
Reminds me of toys from a company who's mascot is a dragon that has a tendency to be bad. They make fantastic stuff.
This story is another fantastic romp, Abyss! Great job!
so i looked at the title and i went "well thats direct".
4549139 Yup!
4548939 Heh, thanks!
4548797 What'd you think?
4548736
I was seriously about to rip you a new one, bud. Don't ever say this sort of shit on my stuff again; saying, "More please?" does not make it right, nor does it make it better. It's like me saying, "I fucking hate you; you're an idiot! Haha jk, love you!"
I really hate how people think they can say whatever the hell they want and then think that it's okay by adding a little "friendly" thing on the end. It is merely a way for them to say whatever hurtful thing they want without repercussions.
I'm glad you liked this, but like I said above, please refrain from saying such things on my stories.
Thank you.
>looks at story title
>looks at story art
Well, shit, you are making a compelling argument, Twilight.
4549243 You know you want to read it.
4549225 Yeah lol. There are some clopfics that have actual stories in them. This, however, is just clop. Sometimes clop is all the reader wants, and I aim to please!
4549246
The day that Scootaloo flies, I'll read this fic.
. . .
You know, that really isn't as good as saying, "When pigs fly."
FUCKING WOW!!!
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110611170720/gyropedia/images/4/40/Wingboner.png
4549249 Twilight should aim too, please... right for her face... CUM SHOWER FOR THE WIN!!!
Damnit, now I gotta go take care of something. be back in a minute
Seeing as there is no story arc to criticize, I shall substitute the criteria for judging this story's merit under the satisfaction of my masturbation session. So I shall describe the series of events and sensations in excruciating detail, with none of the fanfare that fanfictions provide which makes the whole buisness bearable.
Now then, the tissue and lotion of middle class quality that I keep on standby to the side of my desk went unused due to the fact that sex toys are not my fetish.
Good day.
4549288 well then. It's a good thing you read a story with sex toy in the description.
4549288 Sex toys don't have to be your fetish for you to enjoy the story, bud.
4549288
Definitely the funniest critique ever written. Thank you, sir.
Or madam. I don't judge.
I'm gonna drop some serious harsh words here, so hold onto your butt.
You can write good. You really can. You do good clop.
My issue with this story is not the writing quality, the storyline (or lack thereof: I like a good clop as much as anyone!), but rather, the attention-whoring ways of you, as a writer.
Hate me all you want for saying it, but when I click on the 'groups' tab and see that the story is placed in no less than forty four groups, then it just puts this really sour taste in my mouth. It feels like a grab for attention and a grab for the feature box by a much less able writer.
What are you trying to accomplish by spamming your stories into literally every group you can think of? I could understand this behavior if you were a sub-par writer, but you're not.
It's completely unnecessary for you to do this. Let your stories stand on their merits and not on the volume of groups you can add them to in the shortest amount of time. Because that's really the very worst way to get the feature box.
It's just a really disingenuous way of getting favorites and if you're serious about writing, then you're going to look back at these stories and not even know if they're popular because you're particularly good at writing or because you whored them out to every group you could think of.
I don't know about you, but I enjoy knowing my stories are popular because of my skills, and not because of some trick I used to expose said stories to the largest amount of people as possible.
Your writing is good enough for your stories to stand on their own. You don't need tricks.
Adding them to a few groups is perfectly normal. But... forty four? What are you trying to accomplish?
Very good! A solid 2500 words of clop! ^_^
4549409
How is an author supposed to make his story known without putting it into as many folders/groups as possible?
Surely you can't expect someone to simply write a story, put it into a handful of folders, and let time do its work?
The point of groups and folders is to do just that; advertise your story and draw as much attention to it as possible. The more folders it's in, the more traffic it's going to get.
And no, it's not attention whoring. Anyone whom writes on here wants to get a large audience with their work, same goes for authors in real life.
4549409 Pussy :/. Is this really the complaint one of fimfics best authors drops? I weep.
4549409 can you mention specific groups out of those forty four that this story does *not* belong in?
4549150
I was at full mast all the way through. Excellent job my friend!
I give it four wet slits out of five. Or erections depending on your preference.
4549409
Groups are FOR getting your stories noticed. I know this might come as a shock to you mister 3416 followers, but we mere mortals have to work hard to get our stories noticed. You're just a whiner that doesn't like being bothered with notifications.
You know, you can turn those off.
Just because you advertise your story well, doesn't mean upvotes. You can just as easily get a whole lot of downvotes if your story sucks.
What planet are you living on?
4549543
Romance Stories I Love (it isn't a romance story - yes it has the tag, but there ain't no romance here, it is just straight up clop) seems a poor fit for this story.
Spike's Basement of Shame - If he submitted it to this group, then yes, that is dumb. If he didn't, then, well, whatever.
4549409
Regarding this:
Let's see here.
There's some meaningful groups here:
Clopfics/NSFW/Clop/The Pro-Clopfiction Group/The Mature Stories Group/Horny Pony Porn/Writer's Group After Dark/Spike's Basement of Shame - Redundant clopfic groups, but legit
My Little Fetish/The Sexy Fetish Fun Fun Club - Fetish groups; redundant, but legit
Readin' It For the Plot - Butt fetish group. Legit.
All Mature - All mature stories. Legit.
One-Shots - This is undoubtedly a one-shot
Twilight Is Best Pony/Twilight Sparkle/Twilight Sparkle Protection Agency/Free Twilight Sparkle!/Another Twilight Sparkle Group - Redundant Twilight Sparkle groups. It is dumb that there are this many of them, but it is legit to add them to these groups.
There's a few others which are submission groups - i.e. the story was submitted to them and will be graded on some basis before being added:
Good Grammar Directory - Chooses stories based on good grammar. Submitted to the group.
Equestria After Dark - Clopfic group which gets clopfics stuck up on an external website which gets some traffic.
Everything else?
They appear to be, essentially, self promotion groups, which might less charitably be called "trash groups". When I say that, I mean that they're groups which, essentially, take all kinds of stories for the purposes of self promotion (or at least such a broad swath of stories that it doesn't make much of a difference - the Mane Six group falls into this category, doubly so as it is a very small group). This doesn't necessarily mean that the group ITSELF is bad (The Writer's Group is exactly what it says on the tin, for instance, and Authors Helping Authors seems to be a review group) but that the fact that the stories get submitted there more or less means... it spams a whole bunch of people who don't turn off notifications for said groups. I personally have turned off notifications on almost everything which I'm not keenly interested in (which means pretty much everything but the shipfic groups and a few quality groups which control which stories can be entered into them - notably it doesn't include Twilight's Library, which gets tons of stories added whenever it is open and thus isn't really all that worth getting notifications for).
They're for shameless self promotion, and in the case of almost all of those groups, that is their ONLY purpose in existing. And he's a member of a TON of said groups in an attempt to get as much attention for himself as possible.
There's also American Bronies, which is a region-based trash group; on the one hand, it is legit, but on the other hand, it is hopelessly broad. Seems a bit meh, but whatever, obviously some people feel there is value there. I was hoping for a minute it would be all Patriotic stories, which I would have found hilarious, but sadly, not so much (though this story is hardly patriotic anyway).
It isn't illegitimate, per se, but I do see why you view it as kind of sad. On the other hand, though, it is perfectly logical from his standpoint to do it - it only takes him a few minutes to add it to upteen many groups, and if those get him even 1 upvote per group it makes a big difference as to whether or not his story gets featured. And getting featured means you get a lot more eyes on your story.
It is all marketing, and the ultimate point is to get your stories read. Is it stupid that the site works this way?
Yeah, it is. But it is how the site works, so...
I dunno. It might be interesting to see how much traffic people actually get from this sort of thing. If it actually does help, then it would only make sense to join all those groups (or, better still, because you probably don't want to see their threads, make an alt that is part of all those groups, then add every single story you write to every one of those groups) and submit stuff to all of them.
Being in some groups makes sense. On the other hand, being in that many groups seems to defeat the purpose of groups in the first place. But, well, if he feels like it helps him (and let's face it, it probably does), then...
4549409
Did you seriously post an essay about why this author is a whore for using groups in the exact way they were intended?
Holy shit.
Tis the first clopfic I've ever read, and I can say ... that this was quite rather enjoyable. * shudders *
Holy shit Twilight!...Like I told a friend of mine, Twilight is a closet freak in the bed. Nice story.
4549653
If you're looking for a good one, Plucked from the Air is the best one I've seen on the site.
Love is Like An Apple Tree is also "great", though it isn't great because it is clop but because it is hilarious.
Those are probably the two best ones I've seen on the site.
Loved every word!
4549409
Anopeg, you really need to delete your comment before you lose followers. I respect your stories, but my consideration for you as a person is starting to tank, and is making me doubt the former. Considering how unmovable and stubborn I tend to be, that means others are not going to take this kind of foolishness lying down.
Not because you don't have a point, because yeah - it does seem like attention-whoring. But, all authors are entitled to do this so long as the groups are relevant. Practically encouraged, really. So everyone is more or less supposed to be attention-whoring.
But because your post condemning the attention-whoring is, in itself, attention-whoring. But isn't of the relevant or encouraged sort.
4549646
As usual, only Titanium Dragon tends to make any sort of sense in a thread. One of the blessed few luxuries I can count on in FIMFIC.
4549543
It shouldn't be in Everypony is the Best Pony, as the only rules that group has are:
4549792
Flatterer.
4549851 Woops, my bad! Thanks!
4549739 Lol I edited the second story.
who needs plot when you can have plot?
4549167 Lol, sorry. I actually did love this, I didn't mean to offend you. I wish you good luck in your future conquests of pervertedness, and I will support you 100% of the way. :D