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Not too long before Luna's banishment, her and Celestia found the 7th Element of Harmony. This element was known to corrupt the wielder if they are not the correct one, and Celestia's mind has been set to tyrant. One thousand years later, Luna has once again returned to Equestria, but Celestia's evil plot doesn't end there.
Um... it's not like the story was bad or anything, but I had a hard time following it at points and it wasn't too terribly interesting... not mucn in the way of plot hook aside from the new silver pony and Twi's mysterious "accident". I think. I'm kind of a stickler in that regard, though... take that part with a grain of salt.
It just needs some cleaning up, in my opinion, and it'll be fine. 
I'm sorry but theres a huge problem in this chapter, TRIXIE IS DEAD!!! Ok now that that's taken care of your story is a little choppy, it kinda jumps around a lot if you smooth that out it should turn out great. Btw you'd better have Trixie being resurrected or I'll be forced to...cOmment on the subject?
I see what you did there. Very interesting and I suppose the opposite of happy for the newly married couple would be to be jelous of the bride, or one of the brides? What ever, great story keep writing. I do hope you can get the rest of this chapter up though, it does seem cut short. I would suggest writing the story in word and then copy/pasting it in. That should avoid you any glitching.
>>22956 Thanks to computer crashes caused by microsoft word, I got three versions I wanna add. Cant add them all, though. So here's a choice.
A. Pinkie's normal, Earthquake hits, Fluttershy is killed, Rainbow gives up element of loyality to bring her back.
B. Bomb goes off, everyone but Dash is killed, Rainbow gives up element of loyality to bring them all back.
C. Remove the Rainbow corruption scene entirely and move onto Rarity, saving Rainbow's for later.
Any wants? 
Id definitely go with A as long as you do actually bring fluttershy back, but I would suggest adding at least a little bit of them enjoying married life together (no I don't mean bedroom life) before that. Also you might want to check that you haven't angered the lords of technology.
Really? First you kill off Trixie in a very stupid fashion now Pinky suddenly beats up RD because she had feelings for her and then a doctor says that the cause is Loyalty. I started this story intrigued, then a little sad and confused, and now it's just stupid. 
I thought I explained it well enough, I guess not.
Fluttershy never died. She was never there, neither was the hospital or the doctor. It was a Discord mind trick. A trick Rainbow fell for. Now Celestia has 2 of the 6 elements needed for her 'master plan'. 
My suggestion; and this is meant as no offense. This is where your story is going, but it has arrived at this point way too early. So I suggest remove thichapter and adding q few in-between. For more practical matters there are a few descrepences for instance: big Mac calls Applejack his big sister, if I'm not mistaken Fluttershy died in the last chapter, and lastly Fluttershy married to Rainbow would be Fluttershy Dash, if anything Flutterdash would be there child if that were possible. Now that that is out of the way, it is definitely an interesting chapter, and I look forward to some explanation of some of these event (prefferable in a prechapter).
Much words undone,
This story is fun.
Luna now on the run,
From a foe and her sister of the sun.
Celesticord is odd,
Twixie moreso, you shod.
But I this is made by some God
-ly addiction, for I am awed.
I cannot seem to get
Why I like it as of yet.
But if one were to bet,
One says that the board is set.
It must be from the lack of information that you are giving us; this is the second chapter and still no back story?!?!?!?!? I cannot understand why there has been so much information that does not actually answer any questions, so I will say that you need to explain better, please!
The game starts,
The pieces play their parts.
A pawn dies, another cries, The princess's stolen heart.
Why must it be so? What could make this smart?
The fic seems good on premise, but use
A proofreader, please, and rekindle your muse.
I know not you life, nor wish to fill your shoes,
But a reader (like me) is something not to lose.
Give me reason, understanding,
So I might get the next landing.
The fires stoked, the metal branding...
This will be a read demanding.
I will continue to read, though not right now,
Real Life calls, I must answer that - how?
Life's meaningless if you don't take a bow,
I'll read on iPod Touch as I reap what I sow.
.... Reiteration's a bitch. Please, sense! Make it! 
I could easily say the same thing to you. What do you not understand? And if you don't understand anything, there's another chapter ahead. This is also my first fic, so please, be easy. 
I swear, I'm considiring asking you to help me with Zecora scenes if I ever need her in the future.
With Zecora, I can help.
I understand much, little whelp.
The story jars, so I wonder.
I no not what it is, I'm torn asunder.
The story would make sense,
If I weren't so very dense.
I wish not to be thought the fool,
But the doubts linger, uncool.
Release me from this trap!
I tire of using the Safari App.
My iPod Touch's Auto correct
Is. Something that is not circumspect.
Please tell me how to find,
The clues that you've left behind.
I will continue my read,
But await for you to hear me plead.
"Doth thou knowest what you've done?!"
Youthful bliss warrants some fun.
This story, it feels so wrong!
But my thoughts feel not as strong.
Reading this does much for my thinker,
Eh, doc? Ain't I a stinker?
I wish to delve more into the abyss,
But I fear that much is wrong; amiss.
Read it all I shall try,
Lest my reason crawls out to die.
Read this fic, My mind tells me...
What will happen? My thoughts roam free.
>>98090 I've given you my thoughts on the first two chapters on your story... And I respect your ability as an author (No, really! I just wish I was able to understand better... Reading chapter three currently!), so... could you review my story(ies)?
... Please?
I'd love you forever! (as a friend, no Homo {if you're a guy, if not... Then I love ya like a sister!}, definitely as a friend, though!) 
Looks like this are about to get interesting again. Dusk Shine and the gang are probably in for a bit more of a surprise than they expected outside of their counterparts being alicorns. Well that's provided you keep those names anyway. I can't wait to see how they respond to some of the things that happened to the mane 6 thru the course of this story.
................................. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-
In the next episode of Dragon Ball Z abridged!
-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Okay I'm a little lost here. I started reading this on DA, and then found the rest on here but I feel like I'm missing something. Who is Aurora? and who were those six stallions?
Also and this is just a small comment not a gripe, but parts of this seemed a bit rushed or moved too quickly making it hard to follow.
Still brilliant though.
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. Anyways still very entertaining. 
. Well forget about my comment about Fluttershy dying, but the rest of my previous comment stands. Also I must have missed that explanation somewhere but I got that discord was doctor q. 
*mind esplodes*
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