When Derpy is asked to talk to the students of Cheerilee's class about her disability, will things work out, or will the gray pegasus get tongue-tied and embarrassed as she notices the pity others give her for being different? Will she be able to stand up for herself, or will her emotions unravel before her eyes?
~~~
Many thanks to WafflezOfEquestria (http://www.fimfiction.net/user/WafflezofEquestria) for the amazing cover! <3
I literally got this idea late one night and decided to roll with it. I have no idea if my mind was spouting gibberish. But critique is welcome, as long as it's constructive.
Chapters (3)
... This looks like it won't be a long story, but your writing style is professional quality. Good job, 10/10.
4532443 You are correct! This is going to be a short story. Glad you like it though! Thank you so much!
Can't wait to read more!
I shall give this a read in a bit, just the small description had........................................
weidert.com/Portals/65360/images/curiosity.jpg
...I wish to see more of this.
I... did not notice it said incomplete.
Constructive criticism: It's hard to read your name on the cover pic.
Oh... wow. This sounds like it's going to be so good. Not much criticism to be perfectly honest, except you wrote 'Derpy's taught emotions" instead of 'taut'... I think that's what you were getting at
otherwise... SOO GOOD! please keep going.
4532998 Oops, yes, I did mean taut! I shall change that right now. Thank you!
I'm surprised Derpy didn't turn around and buck her in the face.
You have tapped into the innocence and purity that Derpy and Dinky possess.
Will definitely be keeping an eye on this.
I now have a new-found hate for Cheerilee, I don't know how you made me hate her in that short amount of time but you did.
You have nailed both Derpy and Dinky in my book, well done sir, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
4537494 To be fair, there's really no polite way to ask someone to make themselves the center of attention just to point out/explain a disability....
4633775 Very true.
4633775 Which is exactly why I thought this would be a good idea. I myself am very against bullying in any way, shape or form, and the next chapter will be all about being who you are and self-worth. While Cheerilee is not intentionally bullying Derpy, the same message will still be passed on.
4634708 huh....and I'm the first to realize this?....
4634723 Haha, I suppose so! Or you're at least the first to mention it. Keen eye!
just one scene in 1,000 words?! woa!!
Woo!
5142568 Now that I slept, I gotta say, WOO! IT LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is one of the best Derpy stories, I can´t wait fir the conclusion.
Yeah, I figured that'd sail straight over DT's head.
i.imgur.com/6xDFZgO.png
Cheerilee has brought much shame upon herself. So. Much. Shame.
Eyup! You captured (and perhaps created) the characters very well.
This story bounced from character to character without a hitch.
There aren't enough good secondary pony stories (calling Derpy and Cheerilee background ponies sounds mean sometimes), and this story is a definate favourite!
Cheers mate!
Ah, yes. The breezy assumption of the stupid that having one disability means having ALL of the disabilities. Cracked.com might not have much use for us but it has even less use for ableist simpletons like Cheerilee as they tend to lump them in with jerks like Diamond Tiara in their Big Book O'Jerks They'd Like To Tear Some Strips Off Of.
Also, we get Hillel's "If I am not for myself, who shall be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? And if not now, when?"
5142791 GAH, you think so?
Thank you so much! 
5142803 Pretty much.
5142912 Maybe I should have said Equestrianish
5143058 Yeah...
She needs to think things through sometimes 
5143087 GAH, that's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said about my writing!
Thank you SOSOSOSOSO much! That honestly means a lot to me! 
5143816 Exactly, that was the point of this story-- to fight against the stereotyping Cheerilee is presenting. I do hope I could get the message past!
this is very good.
have a like.
5144646 Aw, thank you so much!
5144314 I think she got the point.....which was also the point.
I can't wait to read the upcoming chapter. I can only guess who was staring.
No down vote? Either the story is that good or no one wants down vote a story about the handicapped. I'm guessing its good.......
5152279 I'm rather surprised I haven't gotten any dislikes, actually, as I've never gotten this much positive feedback for a story.
Based by that I'm going to assume it's the former 
And just to make it clear, this story isn't meant to offend anyone. I actually am trying to write something inspiring, because everyone deserves love in their lives 
5153964 that last part deserves a d'aww
GREAT.
That line hit like a truck. Ignorance really ends up hurting so many with slights like that. Even with well meaning people.
This flowed really well. At first I almost thought Dinky was hiding something from Derpy not wanting others to see her outside with her mom out of embarrassment or something. Maybe hiding the fact Cheerilee was going to have a presentation and maybe asked Dinky to tell her mom if she could be a quest speaker with a note Dinky was supposed to give her. Already +1 point for not going the usual route. Course that remains to be seen. Though I have to say this is a great start with how Dinky was portrayed to be the short attention span foal most foals tend to be. Great job.
Onto chapter 2 .
Strong start. Great characterization. And very professional writing quality thus far. Setup chapter hit its mark for setting the mood.
5158455 Thank you so much!
5158508 I agree with you. It's very unfortunate how ignorant some people can be in situations like that.
Thank you very much for all your lovely comments! Ooh, I really do like that idea, I suppose that could be an underlying thing that Dinky forgot to tell Derpy about!
I do hope you enjoy the rest. Thanks again for all of your lovely feedback!
That's gonna leave a stain on her image. So much for keeping appearances. Though as the end of this chapter shows, she's clearly incapable of accessing and deriving anything from things about morality.
I'm a bit disappointed you didn't make her ask more personal, and more pinpoint blunt style questions that would prompt Cheerilee to call out Diamond for being 'too forward' and 'disrespectful' of Derpy's 'condition' that could have helped escalate things into a more informative approach about how hard life can be with a birth defect. No I won't call it some politically correct term. It's a birth defect and there's nothing to be ashamed of acknowledging it as calling it that.
Diamond loves being 'right' a lot. She's very prone to being on the adults' side because she can do no wrong. In her mind she's doing nothing wrong by asking a question or challenging something that goes against something she presumes to be a norm.
A bit of potential lost in this fic to help rise tensions between Cheerilee and Derpy as Derpy and DT have their back-and-forth before the one who actually offends her, Cheerilee, gets that talking she got here at the end before addressing stuff.
All that aside, this was remarkably less toxic as so many 'Everyone' stories with Diamond and Derpy and Dinky are concerned. Toss in a Scootaloo tag? Well, that's gonna lead to the (though admittedly fic did do) teasing of disabilities she's so commonly shown to do in fiction. But in this, her character didn't feel overblown. Not overly exaggerated. Though I get it was to prepare people, ease them in, for the insulting Derpy parts later and showing her childish ignorance at the end of it.
In short, story really did well to foreshadow events. Kept the tone closer to MLP:FiM than most fanons that use her as a throwaway foil. And really helped tackle the BIGGER issues in how adults tend to, though not intentionally for many I'd think, pass on their prejudice to the younger generation with how 'delicate' people with disabilities (of any kind usually) as a means to show them how they need to 'pity' them. Which leads to some calling others "retards" even if they were born with so much as a minor stigma, like in Derpy's case.
It was a good chapter, but, I have to agree with Diamond here. Derpy just blurted out a passionate speech but didn't really get down into what makes having even her condition as being so difficult for somepony. Would have been nice if she could have answered some questions I suppose from mostly 'bored' class.
All in all, this story does well to show childish ignorance in a way that's more relatable, for the most part, for a lot of people. It sticks to the tensions and frustrations of a mare but that tension isn't paced as well as one would like, though still passionate and well delivered to the one causing Derpy her discomfort.
TL;DR: This, by comparison, stays closest to a fun and enjoyable E experience as one tends to get in fanon dealing with these ponies.
On to last chapter.
Well, Scoots, your 3,303rd times a charm!
The pacing on this chapter was lightning fast. I would have loved loved loved to have seen that Cheerilee scene, get maybe another Dinky moment with her. Maybe.
I think it would have been nicer to leave Scootaloo's P.S. out. It was just too much imo. It went from being given inspiration to 'give me another week and I'll be soaring through the sky' then treat her with even half the seriousness for what Derpy's lazy eye was given. Just felt, as sweet and nice as it was intended, just ended up belittling her condition and doing that pity thing to where I've been known to label things like this as 'Pityloo".
I think I would have been better off going with my gut instinct and not read the 3rd chapter. It just moves too fast imo with that massive paragraph of exposition and massive time skip.
Overall, you get a stronger emotional feel just ending at Chapter 2 or just not reading that "P.S." part from Scoots.
Overall, still a decent story. I liked it at least. And that's saying something considering all the other Derpy handicap stories I've read.
Overall, it deserves the likes. Or at least indifference. But you get a like from me even if chapter 3 could use a small bit of reworking imo.
This was really nice, but i think i would like it t obe more, i think i had loved to see some Scootaloo and Derpy friendship. It started to look for me like Derpy could be something like a second mother to Scooaloo.
Hmm. Well, she doesn't have to worry about Rainbow Dash feeling an emotion she's sort of incapable of. If this leads into the incident I think it does, we're dealing with one pony who's flat out exhausted being yelled at by another who sleeps twenty-three hours a day.
SEQUEL