This is a sequel to this story: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/18700/Broken-Soul
Fluttershy, escaping from her abusive father back in Cloudsdale. She spent a few weeks out in the cold of Ponyville, until a certain big red colt saves her from death. But this colt has no idea of what happened in the poor filly's past or where she came from in the first place. And eventually. he gets a tiny crush on her.
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is there going to be a sequel to this
sweet jesus YES!!!!!!!!!
555195
a sequel to a sequel? maybe lol
hnngg! cant handle cuteness! Goodbye cruel ponyless world.
I must applaud you, good sir. The feels were all around for this fantastic fanfic.
Oh my celesria best story ever !!!!
yay im safe and sound :D
Wait, hold up. Fluttershy had been with the apples for MONTHS but they only now got her note?
I can dig this story, but I think it could be better if you slowed it down. It felt like you were really rushing this one out, like it was >10,000 words being crunched down into 1,700 and it wasn't working. The foreshadowing was a little screwy too, When " She was even developing feelings…feelings of love for Big Macintosh." happens, "He felt the same way about her." happens not even 2 lines later. I think you could have gotten some wicked good stuff out of Fluttershy's feelings for big mac if you left his feelings a mystery and made her freak out over him possibly not feeling the same way back. I think that you could have a lot more dialogue, maybe building Fluttershy's relationship with the apple family. When she meets Granny Smith and she hears Fluttershy's history, it felt like Granny Smith just shrugged it off like it was nothing. AJ introduces herself and then the scene ends abruptly. When you say AJ found Fluttershy a TREE house, do you mean Fluttershy's cottage or the CMC club house?
At the end, when the boys are giving Fluttershy the low down on Dad, It sounded like you were saying Dad found the note >3 months after the murder of their mother, got taken in by the police and sentenced to death and killed in an incredibly short period of time (Equestrian courts are strangely efficient). When the brothers fly away and we all feel sappy and fuzzy and squishy inside, Big mac comes to the rescue to wrap things up wonderfully but doesn't even question the four dudes who he has never seen before leaving the house where he knows his friend (Whom he cares deeply for) has just moved in and is all alone. He doesn't say a thing except that he wanted to check on her.
Sorry if this comment comes off like me being an asshole, but I really liked this fic and want to see it made better because it has so much more potential than every other formulaic Daddy Drank story. I can see a whole massive story arc here that needs to be expanded on and I only want to help.
On top of it all, I really liked this fic, you have done a good job so far but it needs to be expanded. You have rock solid spelling and grammar though.
I'm going to go read your other stuff now because dangit you're too awesome and the rebirth of chaos sounds hilarious.
i think we need "and den they kissed discord pic" lol
wow also interesting...
It sucks for the mother to die that way but that's what that fucking farther gets so BIG MAC AND FLUTTERSHY SITTING IN A TREE K.I.S.S.I.N.G THEN F.U.C.K.I.N.G hehehe
555707
I am a lad, but thank you love
564631 Whoops. My apologies. Regardless, EXCELLENT FIC! Reading it again STILL holds the same feels.
OOOOOOOHHHHH FUCK!!!!!!!
Celestia Dammit....
If you recall, I commented on the original Broken Soul, saying I was going to write a very..."Dark" Fanmade Sequel, To which you gave me the Okay to do.
But now that this is out, I feel like I can't do that anymore.
If it's still okay with you I will, but I feel like it will be less accepted now.
If your still okay with me doing this, please give me the okay again.
868980
Yeah, still do it :)
878830 THANK YOU!!
879094
anytime :)
And manly tears were shed
hearttouching and wonderful
1534469
thanks
"POW" right in da feels
