After Luna's joy of bonding with the citizens of Ponyville Luna is initially ecstatic. However, she begins to feel resentful that there is only one night in which ponies go out and appreciate the night. Celestia grows worried that if something isn't done a repeat of Nightmare Moon will take place, and it will break her to lose her sister a second time. With Twilight's help the two of them make a plan to help Luna see she IS valuable.
Inspired by user SymbianL, who's picture of Celestia in the cover art directed me to a mournful song telling of Celestia's regret over sealing away her sister. The song inspired me to write of it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eSk0o8iHro
Chapters (1)
It felt a bit OOC to me, at least in regards to best pony (woona). Other than that, the final bit felt a bit rushed.
Now for the good news! The rest of it was beautiful, especially the song! Also the "bad" stuff wasn't THAT bad. Personnally, OOC doesnt bother me all that much (even less so if intentional), and pacing: I watch the show every saturday, and now that s4 is done, i watch the episodes again, and let me tell ya, almost EVERY. SINGLE. episode has pacing issues, especially at the end. AND I LOVE IT!
So, in short: I loved the story, flaws and all.
I hope this helped in some small way!
~Flutterbat~
cdn.gifbay.com/2013/09/i_love_it_from_tomskas_coming_out-85631.gif
The book was short although it was ok (could be longer)
Nice youtube video though that song is very good.
6035721 Yeah, it wasn't my best work. I had the idea, but it wasn't executed in the best way. Hey, not all my stories can be 60,000 word epics.
6036391 I'm pretty sure you can manage. I'm positive you can make a remake and make at least 5 to 10 chapters out of this. It doesn't have to be 60,000 words but at least 6k to 8k words would be good. If you can or have the time to make a remastered out of this if possible.
Awesome, sweet story! It is a bit weird now that I look back at it that Luna became completely cool with just one night about her.
8305721
It's a fair observation that a millennium spent locked up would not be just erased because of one happy night. Well, we learn way later on in season.. 5 I think, that Luna has been torturing herself nightly with the Tantabus, so it seemed she never got over things until then, though it was guilt not resentment like in my story.
I'm glad you liked it, as I'm not too fond of this one. Rereading it now after all this time I see it more favorably, but it still is a bit rushed to me. It's over in a single chapter, though I suppose it doesn't have to be longer if it gets across what it meant to.
8306476
I don't think it's rushed! It's among the top of my favorites list, so if you think this is bad, I'll need to check out your other work!
8306853 Maybe not so much rushed as I wish I had done a little more with it. Had more buildup, or more interaction between the sisters.
About other stories, well, there's plenty to choose from. If you want something short and adorable there's "How a Pie became a Cake" which shows how Pinkie came to live with the Cakes, and it's kinda-sorta sequel "Pinkie's first friend" which is exactly what it says. Both of them show Pinkie at her Pinkiest, hyperactive, random, and just plain adorable with her dedication to help others.
For a one-shot a little more bittersweet there's "A smile only for you" which takes place after Maud's introductory episode, where she thinks about how she became the emotionally stunted pony she is today.
If you want longer stories there's "You are normal too" a Derpy-Doctor Hooves shipping fic.
"Scootaloo's growth:from baby to champion" which is a slice-of-life about Scootaloo growing up.
"A deal with the Draconeques" Rarity is deathly ill, and Sweetie Belle seeks out the newly reformed Discord for help. Initially uninterested until she blabs she knows where Rarity keep her Element he makes that the object to trade for her health. Now Sweetie Belle has to decide whether to risk Equestria's safety for her sister's life.
"The return of Sunset Shimmer" Sunset comes back through the portal after 30 moons to make up with Celestia, but has the misfortune of finding the Alicorn Amulet. In my story it has a consciousness sealed inside it, so we really see how the corruption process works. It reads your memories, slowly coaxing you down a dark path by acting as a dear friend but stirring up the negative emotions inside until you break.
"MLD: The cruelty of man" This one is a darker spin-off of My Little Dashie, where Rainbow is transported as-is instead of turning into a filly and losing her memories. She's pursued by a cruel human who's hunting her down for the prospect of getting rich off her real mythological creature status. Along the way she escapes, injured, and runs into a nice guy who takes the place of the brony character from MLD. He helps patch up her wounds and finds Rainbow's colors and ability to talk fascinating in an awe-inspiring way, and pledges to keep her safe from the danger.
Pound and Pumpkin Tales: This one is my biggest and longest story by far, as it's one that technically never ends as long as I have ideas for it. It follows the daily struggles of six year old Pound and Pumpkin tales as they grow up and learn about the world around them. The first nine chapters were basically one shots, the kind where you could read in any order, but following that the story got more episodic, with long story arcs, with the occasional shorter one thrown in.
I gave the twins yin-yang personalities that play well off each other. Pound is headstrong, acts without thinking, is fiercely protective of his sister, struggles with focus in kindergarten, has difficulty learning to fly, and is prone to temper tantrums and depression when he feels useless or not understood.
Pumpkin is much more calm, slower to anger, patient, genuinely looks up to Pound but also sometimes just lets him save her so he'll feel important, is intelligent for her age, and has a good grasp of magic.
There are a few others, but I feel these are my best.
8307964
Wow, a lot of interesting stories to choose from! I'll probably eventually check out all of them!