A couple of parodies of a few common shipping storylines and clichés.
Quick notes: No offense is meant to anyone who has written a story with this kind of story. I've read plenty of stories with the same storyline and enjoyed most - if not all - of them (I'm eagerly awaiting the next update for one such story right now). The only reason I got the idea to write this is exactly because of that; I've read plenty of those stories.
Also, this was written relatively quickly (for me) as I wanted to get the idea out of my head so I could continue writing other things I'm in the middle of. It's because of this that the quality of it is pretty poor.
Fun fact: This is now the second chapter/story I've written on paper first.
I got every cliche besides the whole coma thing. I've yet to run into a fic containing that.
Anyways, great job.
I like story.
The Party Never Ended by Butterscotch Sundae and some Appledash fic I can't remember by someone with a J in their name. Anyway, this fic hits the cliches right on the head, from the obligitory Zecora apperance(if a ship fic goes beyond a chapter, there's a 95% chance she'll pop up for some reason) to the angst(guilty of this in a fic I will never upload here) and of course RD's "I was bullied as a filly because they thought I was a fillyfooler but i wasn't till now"(....see last parentheses). Loved it!
“I also broke my wings,” piped up Rainbow Dash, lifting her head slightly to look at Fluttershy and Twilight as they turned to listen to her, “y’know, when I fell on my back? Anyway I’m in a coma.”
Brilliant. That and most of Applejack's dialogue had me literally laughing out loud.
"Sugarcube, sugarcube is stuck in a dream-state, continuously dreaming over and over, and she can’t be woken by normal means. You have to enter her dreams sugarcube,"
Yep, that sounds about right for most Applejack dialogue
I've written shipping before, and this just goes to solidify that I wrote it well! Made me laugh
Good for you!
Well, this made me laugh more than it should have. At the very least, I can feel comfortable knowing my shipfic contains none of those cliches.
Fucking comedy gold.
Oh Applejack, you so silly.
The ending was kinda dark don't you think?
Cliches done so wrong they were great! Even better, it was made to make fun of said cliches. Brilliant!
Job well done. Many chuckles were given.
Genuine B-Movie quality shipping. Far too bad to call it good, but just good enough to finish reading with a few laughs along the way.
Funny, very clever
i haven't read much shipping although i did like the story in this one. I wish that the story of what happened in rainbow's mind was actually told because it seems like that would be where most of the plot occurs
Blimey, it's nice to come home from work and see people liked something I wrote most of between lunch and dinner yesterday. Thank you all
I may have misread or misinterpreted your comments, but I think you both may have missed that this was not intended to be a shipping story, but a parody of shipping stories. It's basically a light-hearted piss-take of shipping storylines I seem to see a lot of. Tspaztic, that's why there isn't a story of what goes on in Rainbow's head, other than the quick summary of what basically happens in each 'Rainbow is in a coma and needs someone to sort her dreams out' story that I've read. Though if you haven't read much shipping though, as you say, then you probably won't know a lot of the cliche storylines I've used in this parody.
Of course, if I have misread/misinterpreted both of your comments, then please ignore me, my brain is a bit dead from spending 6 hours at work with nothing to do.
It's just another common storyline I've seen, although not too often related to shipping. I thought I'd throw it in there anyway though.
All but one of the mane six have died, and the remaining one goes on a journey to their graves (or something similar) and then talks to the graves and remembers past times, before dying themselves and joining their friends in one way or another.
Usually the remaining pony is either Applejack (due to her eating healthy and staying in shape with applebucking), Twilight (due to her being the main character of the show, also magic), or Rainbow Dash (due to her being loyal to her friends and so not leaving them through death).
Quite often, if it's Twilight, Celestia gets involved, and if it's Rainbow, Scootaloo gets involved.
But to answer your question, no I don't think it was dark at all. But then, I laughed when I read Cupcakes, so maybe I'm heartless. Or I've spent too much time on the internet.
well played sir, well played.
>>421653421653 It wasn't dark.
Then again, I also laughed while reading cupcakes
>>421653421653 I'm easily misinterpretable. I understand it is a parody. I suppose my initial comment was a bit nebulous. I have trouble rating parodies like this. The writing is technically fine (grammar and spelling), but the forced 'bad' execution of ideas, even in jest, is still 'bad' writing that can only be called 'good' when done on purpose for the sake of parody. I personally consider most parodies of cliches and bad writing to still be poor writing, as they often have to use poor style, execution, and/or ideas to work as a parody, even if I find them entertaining. This is the B-movie concept I was poking at. Just because it is bad doesn't mean it can't be entertaining, but simply being entertaining does not make it good.
You accomplished what you set out to do and made it compelling enough to finish reading despite the forced poor writing style. It works fine as a parody and nothing else. Heck, as I said before, I even laughed at parts.
I hope that clears things up a bit.
Yep, that about sums it up.
I don't need to read another fic ever again.
...but I will.
This is gold.
Until all but one of six died of old age or illness, leaving the remaining one to reminisce about times gone by and the death of each of her friends, until she too dies while sitting in front of their graves.
This was darn funny. Seen all of these in one or two stories. lol
"You can see it in her eyes. Rainbow Dash has gone beddy-byes."
That was brilliantly terrible writing for Zecora. Excellent job
The 'everybody hates flutterdash' story.
Reading this story, I felt like such a prick when I kept seeing elements of my own story everywhere. God damn it, TAKE MY MUSTACHE!
: "And then they all died."
: "Twas very sad."
It's a cliche storm of awesome, I approve.
>>421855421855 Indeed it does, thank you
I hadn't though of that before, but it makes a lot of sense. Very wise.
>>423231423231 I have to admit that I was hoping someone would mention that; beddybyes is the word my dog knows as meaning bedtime. It randomly popped into my head while I was writing this and I decided I wanted to use it for some reason.
>>425191425191 Your story was one of the ones I had in my head when I wrote this, although I didn't think about it as much as the others due to it just having the coma + dreams thing.
Also, hurry up and update it! I enjoy Dreams of Loyalty.
Heh, I cracked up every time AJ spoke. You know, sugarcube. All the sugarcubing and such, sugarcubę.
I approve, but wish you included the remaining members of the mane six finding romantic partners for no apparent reason in a short amount of time.
And briefly mention Dr. Whooves.
The beginning kinda reminded me of my story... and then BAM! coma.
Hey there, sugarcube, buy some apples sugarcube.
Good job annihilating the cliches, this was wonderful reading.
Brohoof for my very first fave. /)
--576 Belligerent Coil was here
>>419949419949 You mean the bit that KILLED me: “Don’t you worry none sugarcube, me and the sugarcubes will still be here when you wake up. Now go on, go help sugarcube!” encouraged Applejack.
I literally died.
.......... Me gusta. I love the entire concept! I especially love the scathing accuracy with which you lampooned the most common crutches of the genre. I'll definitely be watching you and up-voting this. It's pure gold. My favorite bit was when RD conveniently broke her wing and woke up just to impart that fact. But she's still in a coma. Literally lolled which made all my co-workers look at me like I was crazy. -Shiloh
It's hard to do "intentionally bad" for laughs and pull it off, but you nailed it. Others have said it already, but the "I also broke my wings... anyway I'm in a coma" bit was brilliant.
'Party Hasn't Ended' by Butterscotch Sundae! You hit that one HARD man!
I never planned to add a new chapter - though I had toyed with the idea of changing this to just 'Generic Scenes' and taking the piss out of 'Rainbow becomes a big sister/mother figure to Scootaloo' fics. But just yesterday, after reading another story where ponies apparently smell or taste of ridiculous things, I had no choice but to write this. Wish I'd thought of it sooner really.
Most of it was written at 2am, and though I realise that's not particularly late, it had been a long day, so it may be a bit weird.
Oh, and if anyone is wondering about the black hole thing - time is related to gravity, in that the more gravity there is, the slower time flows around it.
Considering that so much stuff actually in the stores consists largely of cliché manipulation, I can't possibly object to seeing it here, especially when it's identified as such. (My own writing is based on the model established by Professor Peter Schickele in his Quodlibet, a musical composition in which every phrase, every snippet of melody, is swiped from somewhere else.)
Ripping ships to pieces! Keep it up!
Sounds like Fading Colors by J-Webb
>>12534051253405 That was one of the... inspirations for this parody. Other notable ones include The Party Hasn't Ended and another story that I can't remember the name of, among many others.