• Member Since 24th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Jul 31st, 2014

Professor_Blue


Slap on a party, pull up a hat and join the chair! It's fan-fiction time!

E

When some friends decide to go hunt butterflies, what harm could there possibly be in experimenting with a little magic?

This story will not be completed by its original author, though if one is interested, they can adopt the story and finish it as they see fit. Unpublicized story resources exist.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 47 )

Makes me think of the movie Honey I Shrunk The Kids. Creative story you got going here, I like it.

Gem

Looks good, well written, and an interesting concept! *Tracked* :twilightsmile:

you know, seeing this makes me wonder why the show hasn't done this idea yet. The whole "character gets shrunk" thing is such a stand by.



and I am totally tracking this.

418750
I was amazed too. So much so that I scoured google for like four hours thinking "SOMEPONY must have crossed over Honey I shrunk the Kids or The Borrower Arietty or something!"

When I concluded that no one had, it was then I knew what I had to do.
29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m21eacZHYt1qeuhiho1_250.gif

418776
I too find this surprising. I've always been a fan of shrinking stories for some odd reason :derpytongue2:
As is, you've got a pretty good story here. However, there were several places that seemed a bit confusing and took me a moment to get through, so you might want to go back through and do some editing. Other than that though, good job!
Also, is Rarity your favorite pony? :duck:

SWEET MOTHER OF FANFICTION, those be long chapter names!
Tracked + thumbed. Now write MOAR.

418983
It is extremely helpful of you that critique would be provided without provokation.
However without stating which parts actually need improvement, serves the same effectiveness as saying "it should be better".

419162
I see. Well, I'll gladly go back through and point out a few places, if you'd like.
In the meantime, I just wanted to say that when a character speaks, you end the sentence in a period only if you do not want to reinstate who is saying the line. In any other case where you have a declarative sentence, end with a comma.

Correct:
"My wings are so pretty," said Princess Celestia.

Incorrect:
"I like bananas." said Princess Celestia.
:trollestia:

419162
Also, another thing:
I know this is more or less irrelevant, but why is Twilight saying spells? I don't recall her ever doing that in the show. Just saying.

Dang. I'll go back through tomorrow, if you want, 'kay?

Hope I helped!:pinkiehappy:

419273
Various kinds of magic- who ever said there must not be such a thing as verbal queues for spells?

419074 This is going to be so much fun to write and therefore I am very glad you're enjoying it at least half as much as I am.

418983 In the paraphrased words of Strong Bad of Strong Badia: My [Little Pony]s are like my childrens: I love them all!

This is pretty good.. There are three points I feel are a little odd though.

First, since when do unicorns use incantations to use magic? They just light up their horns and it's good to go. Why would these spells require an incantation when others don't?

Second, when they get shrunk, I'd think they'd be a little angry at Twilight. I mean, yeah, honest mistake or not, it was also a very stupid and careless mistake and because of her bumbling, they're now in a very dangerous situation. Let's face it, in the movie 'Honey I Shrunk the Kids,' the kids don't just say 'oh we're shrunk, oh wells.' No, it's a very dangerous and traumatic situation and their emotions reflect it.

...which brings me to the third issue... how does Twilight screw that up? Magnification and microfication (which I don't think is even actually a word) are very different words and I would think that Twilight, who spends all sorts of time being a very methodical and studious pony, and proven to be very knowledgeable in the field of magic, to the point where she is the Element of Magic itself, would screw up to that magnitude. In that vein, it is yet another story where 'Twilight Screws up a Spell' which is a very tiresome cliche in stories.

Now, that all being said, it's still interesting enough by concept alone to be worthy of a track, at least for a while to see where it's going. And now that the spell has been screwed up, we can get moving from here and leave the slightly clunky opener behind...

420081
Firstly, I never really thought about it nor thought it worth thinking about. Just throwing a bit of latin in there for fun and never thought it would offend anyone beyond probably a group of very few people who might be concerned with that strong specific canonic consideration of details like that to the point that they'd be bothered by it.
Of course unfortunately for me, the overlap between these people (pedants, I daresay) and capable critics is rather large.

Second and Third are both credible critiques that occurred to me and for some reason I either forgot about or didn't know how to address and sort of glazed over them hoping I'd find an editor who would help me out with them. However that was several weeks ago and I forgot about it, and polished this version 'as-is' for public release. In that regard I hope to be seeking out other editorial work- and might be so bold as to inquire if you'd be interested on a separate note.

Finally, despite the fact that "Twilight Screws up a Spell" is quickly becoming a dead-horse trope, I am going to have fun with this story so help me God.

420131

Well, the incantations don't so much 'bother' me as they just get me to raise an eyebrow. Just a little odd is all.

As for the other two, it's good that you're looking for an editor. I'd love to help myself, but unfortunately I'm rather busy most of the time these days working on my Senior Thesis. If you're still working on this story around early June, though, I'd be more than happy to help you though, just send me a PM.

That's you're prerogative and you should go for it. :)

433397
Hehehe, I believe we all enjoy the "fany". I've yet to meet a man yet that didn't like fany. Mustache to you sir.:moustache:

I have an intention but no absolution that I will be releasing chapters every two weeks.

I agree with Glyph on that one :moustache:

I also say that good sirs will thumbs-up and subscribe to stories like this one. :moustache:

470181
What ho, good sir.
Unfortunately I will not be in the habit of appropriating myself as a "Gentlecolt" for that word refers to ponies who have landed property and a Coat of Arms, rather than somepony that the speaker generally likes.

470224 indubitably.

I do hope big updates come to this story of microficated proportions will macroficate itself with your help soon; my feel-like-a-sir o-meter depletes quickly. :moustache:

Rube Goldberg ftw.
When I read the title, I thought, "Succumbing to pastry? What, is miniRarity going to fall in a cream puff or something?"
....I hate being right.

I read the chapter title, I think 'Sausage time!'

I finish the chapter, I think 'Oh-ho-ho-ho'.:pinkiegasp:

You have just met the Muffinator.

Oo, does this mean you're going with my idea of Rainbow getting caught in a spider web?:rainbowderp:

NOOOOOOO, IF ANYA DOESN'T DIVERT THE TRACKS..... then Rarity is going to be bar-b-qued!

Love the story you got each character spot on and I like the idea of a rube goldberg machine that does sound like something pinkie would enjoy doing I can't wait to see how it all turns out.

nice story so far, are you going to continue it? i see it hasn't been updated in a while, but it also isn't canceled, just wondering

Any Idea when you might update this story will be?

2240337
Yes;
no updates will be coming forthhence. This is the official gravestone of this story.
I am about as mad as you are about the fact that I just declared I will not finish a story that has a cliffhanger ending.
If I ever become a movie director, you are fully within your right to create a Youth League that boycotts my movies.

2364501 So, will you mark it as cancelled? Or, if possible, do you intend to put it up for adoption?

2367876 Since when can you put a story up for adoption? Is that an informal site community thing?

2393786 I said 'if possible'. I'm not really aware of such an option but I could've sworn there was a group for it.

Comment posted by Rockdude deleted Oct 27th, 2013

>>Professor_Blue Maybe you could hire someone to write it and you upload it.

3407420 I am hard pressed for money so I don't think I'll be hiring anyone. Moreover I don't care enough to find someone to adopt it; if they want to do it, they can come forward.

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