"It's A Mystery!"

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DISCLAIMER: Despite the cool looking cover image, Pinkie will most likely not be featured in this particular adventure. It just fit the theme I'm trying to tell. Sorry, Pinkie fans!

When the ponies are accidentally whisked into Rainbow's favorite radio program, the only way out... is to solve it. Unfortunately, the residents of Crystal Lake look a bit... familiar...

Chapters (5)

1 - The One With The Lake · 2nd Jun 2014 · 1,167 words
1,167
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2 - The One With The Accident · 3rd Jun 2014 · 919 words
919
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3 - The One With The Introductions · 8th Jun 2014 · 748 words
748
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4 - The One With The Suspect · 13th Jun 2014 · 1,183 words
1,183
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5 - The One With The Witnesses · 20th Jun 2014 · 1,070 words
1,070
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Comments ( 19 )

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Jadelynn_Opal

Jadelynn_Opal #1 · Jun 2nd, 2014 · · · 1 - The One With The Lake ·

Looks interesting. No glaring issues but I wasn't paying much attention for them.

Vivid Syntax

Vivid Syntax #2 · Jun 2nd, 2014 · · · 1 - The One With The Lake ·

Nice pacing. There was a weird tonal shift between the first line and the following paragraph that you might want to smooth over, but I'll definitely check out the next few chapters.

MythrilMoth

MythrilMoth #3 · Jun 2nd, 2014 · · · 1 - The One With The Lake ·

Not really enough in this chapter to hold the reader's interest. Also, I wouldn't use "Crystal Lake" as the name of the place if I were you, because your readers are going to be expecting Jason.

Neko Majin C

Neko Majin C #4 · Jun 3rd, 2014 · · · 1 - The One With The Lake ·

Comedy. Crossover. Everyone. Crystal Lake?! Like Jason Voorhees, Friday the Thirteenth, Crystal Lake? Darn it, fine. My curiosity has been thoroughly piqued. Let us have a look, shall we?

Neko Majin C

Neko Majin C #5 · Jun 3rd, 2014 · · · 1 - The One With The Lake ·

Most of them behaved themselves, and only 1.)came there for a fun day of sports 2.)and togetherness, 3.)picnics and swimming.

1.) This does not sound right, you may want to consider dropping the "there."
2.) The emboldened "and" should be a comma.
3.) There should be a comma after "picnics."

When the sun went down, however, the lake closed to the public during the night hours as their were no lifeguards on duty, and the park staff didn't want anypony getting hurt.

Wrong "there."

Star's ears perked instinctively, unsure as to if she was hearing things or not.

This should just be "whether."

"Don't worry, Star. There's nopony out here," he assured her.

One too many spaces between these words.

"Well, yes, but I could have sworn I head somepony out there."

"Heard."

We won't go in far, and you have a flashlight.

One too many spaces between these words.

The mystery reminds me of this:

Interesting premise, take a favorite and a like.

KBO.

Jack Kellar

Jack Kellar #6 · Jun 3rd, 2014 · · · 1 - The One With The Lake ·

Crystal Lake?
4.bp.blogspot.com/_-lKiQNdfEZo/TL91uMPCjtI/AAAAAAAAA18/Rt216k9HyGM/s1600/blood03.png

lunabrony

lunabrony #7 · Jun 3rd, 2014 · 1 · · 1 - The One With The Lake ·

Dammit its not a Jason story. Crystal Lake just sounded cool. *sighs and begins to search for a new name*

Jadelynn_Opal

Jadelynn_Opal #8 · Jun 3rd, 2014 · · · 2 - The One With The Accident ·

"Turn it off, Twilight!" Rainbow yelled over the wind.
"I can't! I don't know what went wrong!"

That's my line!

Neko Majin C

Neko Majin C #9 · Jun 4th, 2014 · · · 2 - The One With The Accident ·

You'd have to be fairly ignorant to immediately associate the events of one Crystal Lake with all the other ones.

To be fair, the name "Crystal Lake" was made infamous by what happened there. You do not see any little Adolf Hitlers or Joseph Stalins running around.

"Don't worry, it's a mystery show, and there's always this one group who goes around solving them,"

Oh, my. Did I accidentally reveal something in my last comment?

The music pitched up and down with particularly inconsistent clarity, and Rainbow Dash groane and shook the small radio.

"Groaned."

Fluttershy 1.)whimpered but saw that Rarity was in trouble, and grabbed onto her front legs. 2.)The two still yet were pulled backwards, with Rarity's back legs disappearing into the vortex.

1.) There should be a comma between these words.
2.) These five words are awkwardly arranged. "Yet" may be superfluous and the section may read better as "the two were still."

I noticed a serious lack of Earth ponies.

I apologize if I accidentally revealed spoilers in my last comment. I honestly had no idea and was just being silly. I was punch-drunk from being so tired.

KBO.

Neko Majin C

Neko Majin C #10 · Jun 8th, 2014 · · · 3 - The One With The Introductions ·

Rarity facehooved.

"Facehoofed." But I suppose it is open to interpretation.

So I was completely wrong. It is nothing like Scooby-Doo at all. Though it does seem familiar, I cannot quite place my finger on it. It does seem interesting, however.

KBO.

Neko Majin C

Neko Majin C #11 · Jun 14th, 2014 · · · 4 - The One With The Suspect ·

Twilight, more so than the rest, was not a fan of her schoolfilly outfit.

*slowly raises hand* I - I am.

"...Who done it, as they say."

There is an official word for this "Whodunit" or "Whodunnit." With either one or two n's. Both, strangely enough, are correct. ...Correct is an odd way to put it.

The quartet burst through the woods, weaving between the trees in the darkness, their path only dimly lit by the moon.

Does Spike not count? Or are you not counting somepony else? It really is rude of me to automatically assume Spike is the throwaway character. If neither assumption is correct, then the word should be "quintet."

"Don't start using 'like' improperly, Fluttershy. It makes my brain twitch," Rarity warned.

Huh, I would have taken Twilight as the fellow Grammar Dalek.

Seeing as they are not here, I think that the Headless Horse is Applejack, or Pinkie Pie, or both of them working in tandem. Though it could still be Old Man Phillips looking for hundreds of dollars worth of Spanish Doubloons on the bottom of the lake.

KBO.

Geoice

Geoice #12 · Jun 20th, 2014 · · · 5 - The One With The Witnesses ·

First comment, awesome

furryflamer

furryflamer #13 · Jun 20th, 2014 · · · 5 - The One With The Witnesses ·

whoa cool chapter,glad that your are back

Neko Majin C

Neko Majin C #14 · Jun 20th, 2014 · · · 5 - The One With The Witnesses ·

A thousand internet points to whoever can spot the subtle mystery reference in this addition.

The "It's time to split up, gang!" thing is from Scooby Doo and every single other Hanna-Barbera mystery solving team cartoon from the 1970's. Josie and the Pussycats, Speed Buggy, Jabber Jaw, Inch High Private Eye et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

I wonder if Aunt Dixon and (I have to do it) Mister Ed are married.