• Member Since 6th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 31st, 2013

PaladinLeader


Fluttershy/Twilight You pick.

T
Source

Princess Luna’s two sides battle it out for Ponyville. Meanwhile, while a prank went off at the campsite of Twilight and her friends, they discover a force that may change the outcome of the battle. Intended to be cleaner than most war fics.

***EDIT: I'm currently planning on adding an "Aftermath" series for one of the characters that will be posted in this story.***

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 6 )

cant read it but i got somewhat past where the humans came in and here is why i cant
1st and most is the way to have the dialoge and descriptions they are good but it is just awful to atempt to read with the words you chose such as "the curoius twilight asked" if that was simply twilight asked curouisly(srry i cant spell that word right now for some reason half my brain is doing this right now :facehoof:) or or twilight coursly asked so stuff such as that would ahve made it far easyier to read
2nd the humans and ponys were no where near how they should have reacted when the humans apeared out of nowhere and twilight probly wouldve noticed that a sudden white circle on the ground is not something to gather around
3rd luna acted as if she knew this was happing for a while she did not inform 6 of the most important ponys in the world that they are at high risk of death
4th and least of important twilight carrys spike on her back all the time and yet she says she does'nt or any other ponys carrys anthing on thier back so heres a couple of waht all in all i thought of this :facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof: wait was this :trollestia:

428129

It's my first fanfic. :fluttershyouch:

1. Any of those three forms of English of the same statement (such as the one I written) that you've mentioned is perfectly acceptable.
2. Part of reading is reading inbetween the lines. The soldiers were exfiltrating from a battle, most likely in a vehicle. If, all of a sudden, you are on the ground unconscious, instinct would tell the soldier it is an ambush. There are plenty of magical anomalies in Equestria. Twilight Sparkle, based on her constant reading of books and magic, would be likely to gather around some form of magic.
3. Again, part of reading is reading between the lines. Why would Luna tell "6 of the most important ponies in the world" (Which is an opinion. To those ponies, it is Princesses Celestia and Luna, also an opinion.) that they are at a high risk of death when they are camping in the EverFree forest, a fact that the courier Luna sent didn't even know.
4. All the time is an absolute. There are many instances in the show where I seen Spike not on top of Twilight. Second, the ponies do carry stuff on their backs. If you read further, the ponies packed up. Reading between the lines, you can probably guessed that they carried that back, too. There are also more examples, but you didn't give the entire fic a chance.

And, again, it's my first fanfic. Go easy.

429034 i did go easy and also most peaple dont read between the line especaily for entertainment and also be more detailed to fix liek teh vehicle well if you say that peaple will like it better and also i still think twilight wouldnt get around something magical with her friends that she dosnt know about (now alone im not so sure ive done stupid stuff like that out of curosity befor)
i wonder if i cracked how to itlasize
NOPE

429205

Well, forgive me if I was a little harsh. Can't tell the degree of "easiness."

I like to give readers a metaphoric view. I like to make them think. It's not for everyone, but it works for some.

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