The Canterlot Publishing Company's response to Spectrum Sprint's submission, entitled: "A Knight in Twilight's Chamber's: A Romantic Romance."
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- Member Since 14th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen April 10th
Incredible Blunderbolt
A retired FIMFiction veteran who's been there, done that, and got the tee-shirt, kid.
Incredible Blunderbolt
Joined 14th Dec, 2011 ·
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Still a better love story than Twilight...
good god, rainbows grammar.....
That seems about on par.
Also way to go Dash, you submitted porn of yourself banging Twilight to Twilight's own mother. Who's now called the cops.
I'd call the cops too if I were her.
I expected to find a serious story...
I received this.
Contrary to the fact that the intentionally bad grammar, and vocabulary nearly gave me a headache... This was absolutely hilarious.
You get top marks, sir, for being a hilarious genius!
4463615
There are two major flaws that I can spot with Rainbow's story:
1. Not nearly enough "Lavender Unicorn" in her story.
There needs to be at least seven occurrences of the phrase "lavender unicorn" in a self-insert erotic slash fanfic of this length as per chapter 3§12.2 of the Collated Fanfiction Guideline Omnibus Handbook
2. Not enough greengrocer's apostrophes.
How can you expect to write a catastrophically horrendous fanfic if you do not include at least 3 superfluous apostrophes? Without those, the best you can hope to achieve is merely "terrible".
I... uh... ummm....
You know, often times I tell people that writing, more specifically writing well, is a lot harder than most people realize. But.. writing this badly I think is even harder.
And do you have some kind of allergy to the word "to"? I did a Ctrl+F to make sure; the word "to" does not appear once in this entire story. Ever.
Has... has anyone checked to see if he's still alive?
I have a headache just reading all that bad grammar and spelling.
That being said, my laughter is not helping my head at all. I blame you for this.
That was really cute.
But now I want a followup with Twilight's reaction when she receives the copy of this story.
"Spike axed her before she went out the dore"
My sides...
Something ate all the 'to's in your story, leaving only double spaces behind. Might want to give it a once-over. The first sentence alone has two missing 'to's...
4464599 Also in the middle of words as well. I mean, it doesn't really take much away as it's usually obvious what is meant. But it's a minor nitpick.
4463851
A few explanations. Yes, I'm alive, but only barely. Editing this was... a headache. xD I was doing my best to make Rainbow's... bad grammar... as good as possible, and by that I mean I was trying to make it bad but not like... obviously bad? I don't know. There's a difference between something that's naturally bad and something that's TRYING to be bad. It took a lot of work, and I think I was able to help Blundy pull it off, but boy did my head hurt.
Second thing, I swear to god that the word 'to' WAS in this fic when we edited it. Problem is, Blundy wrote this on his phone's Google Docs app (his computer is still dead, and he got tired of not writing, so he tried his phone). I am almost 100% positive that his phone messed up in the copypasting of the story into Fimfic. I've seen it happen before. But I promise that there WAS 'to's in the story to begin with.
Actually, when he first published it, it said things like 'Editing by Verrm'. Now that makes sense. Vertorm - the t and o in it would become Verrm. What the fuck happened, Blundy?
4464853
That makes sense, also every time the word "totally" came up it was only "tally" and there were a few other instances of a "to" being removed from the middle of a word. That... is hilarious
We need a sequel with Twilights reaction to getting this story.
I saw the story after the letter and I Nope'd my way to the comments.
img.pandawhale.com/81124-fuck-this-shit-Im-outta-here-g-Apfn.gif
I feel this is the only proper comment I can make to this.
4464943
I want Flash Sentry to write a counter Fic.
..............................
there are no words to say how bad that was.
"Shut up Spike! Twilight yelled, slapping that little jerk. "
Idk why I lost it at that sentence...lmao
4465553
It was intentionally bad.
4465675 we had to call the FAA to get clearance for the jokes flight path over kaijinzero's head
4465875
...that joke may have just been as funny as the fic itself.
And dear god, is this what happens when 4chan meets Equestria? Because I feel like it is. Mine oculi. Like I've already told you Blundy, you're too good at writing badly
4466045 I try. Usually fail, but I try.
Shit, maybe I should actually just write.
What in fuck?!
...
I LOVE IT!
Sweet Celestia, Blundy, what horror have you wrought?
I laughed so hard my roommate's Labrador started barking at me! You and Vertorm found the perfect compromise between bad grammar and terribad grammar. 13/10 best Twidash.
Well, that explains a lot!
I, for one, agree with Spectrum Sprint. Take THAT Flash and Spike!
Yes, yes. Now go directly to jail for your creepy self-insert. May every other creepy self-insert author follow after.
Terrible writing aside, "Spectrum Sprint" is a pretty cool-sounding pseudonym.
This is the best TwiDash fic ever!
I was worried that Flash might ruin everything, but luckily Spectrum Sprint was there to save the day.
This was Glorious.
Couldn't have been easy making something this bad intentionally.
My god; Rainbow's grammar!
That was the most atrocious fanfic I've read. Ever. Though I do most of my reading on Fimfiction... OK, all of my reading, this was the worst thing I've read grammar wise. And ironically, I loved it. I kinda sped read through the actual fic part, not the letter, so I cranked it out in about 2 minutes (I read 500 WPM when I read normally, so speed reading essentially doubles that). I'd love to see a reaction fic for Twi, as she'd probably just edit the crap out of it then send it back to Rainbow, as the pseudonym isn't that hard to figure out. 
'Spectrum' is a synonym with 'Rainbow', and 'Sprint' is obviously a synonym with 'Dash'. Rainbow, you seriously have to think of better pseudonyms 
I read this out loud, and my roommate and I were in stitches!
Dash:
Blunderbolt:
4465875 that comment was the joke.
i was well aware that the fic was supposed to be vomit inducing.
Let's have us a read here,
*puts on editor goggles*
....
....
*removes editor goggles*
I... I couldn't. I tried, but I couldn't. I read about three sentences in and my soul, MY VERY GODDAMN SOUL, would not allow me to read something so terrible, even knowing that it was made as such on purpose. All I can say is good show.
4465875
PFFFT AAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAA
4471614
Now you know what my pain was! It killed me to edit this fic, because instead of fixing errors, I had to make the errors BETTER. T_T
Never in all my life...
Um.... How can you die, blow up, and then die again?
This is hillarious, it made my top five comdies. If I had a critque it would be that Rainbows story doesn't have to be that bad....she knows how to spell door and do for instance, cleaning it up a little would still keep the story funny but make it a little easier to read
Sequel.
Now.
I know that Rainbow wrote this story, but did Rainbow Dash ACTUALLY kiss Princess Celestia and Spitfire? Because the rest of the Rainbow's story is fiction, I think not. But if it's true (even if I highly doubt it), I can only wonder what happened after Dash told them...
4530140
Easy. Appear in a bad self-insert vengeful fanfic. In such situations people (or ponies) die, blow up, and die again all the time. I think Ginny Weasley and Mai are classified as subatomic particles these days.
This was extremely funny, especially when I saw Twilight Velvet's name. And her telling Dash to just talk to her daughter was actually kind of sweet.
So, do you die and then come back to life, and then die again?
Paradoxes. They are logically unacceptable.
Any good fanfics I should know of to progress my daily famfiction reading?
4918034
I want a sequel where Trixie writes about herself banging Twilight
4463587 Anything is a better love story than Twilight.
4921506 "blade" by BranStanley, if you want a truly twisted but deep story, this is for you... and the gore, dark, and tragedy tags are not for show... or for a bit of randomness, "A happy and sunny life" by wearinhat
This is so
goodterribleawesome that I favorited even though I hate TwiDash!Then Twilight attacked Rainbow Dash for her crimes against the Equestrian language.
jusd b4 thay had seksTwilight's mom is a very forgiving pony. And Rainbow Dash has some serious problems (even aside from her difficulty with words).
WHAT THE F***!!!!!!!!!!!
My IQ before reading:63
My IQ after reading:-30,607
You must've cringed while writing with the bad grammar. I don't blame you.