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*****
“Say what!? You were the pony outside my office?” Lauren yelled. She could feel the cold drops of sweat coming out from her head. “But that’s impossible! Do you mean you were...”
“Yes. I was in your world… the ‘real’ world,” Faust replied. She looked once again at Luna and Twilight. “Remember that?”
“L-Lauren told us about how she believed to saw a pony moments before arriving to Equestria,” Twilight recalled their conversation last night on the library with her and the Princesses. “Princess Celestia was right! The mysterious pony and Lauren’s arrival are indeed connected to each other!”
“But… how did I end up here!? Answer me!” Lauren ordered. Her short fuse was starting to run out as she pressed her hooves harder on the floor.
“After I arrived to your world, I simply dragged you here,” Faust responded. “The lightning was actually my teleportation spell. The last thing you knew was that you woke up in Twilight’s library.” She raised her hoof again and began to play with her hair, incredibly calm even if she was revealing Lauren the truth.
“So you are the reason why I’m stuck here!? Why did you drag me in here for?” Lauren asked. So if Faust was the one responsible for her apparition in Equestria, what was the reason behind it? She bit her lower lip, anxious of whatever answer would come out the big alicorn’s mouth.
“Didn’t I tell you earlier? I dragged you here so you could help me put a stop to Celestia’s evil scheme. I had no choice, for I could not save my own daughter, and your world's integrity, without your assistance.” Faust was wrapping locks of her red mane around her horn while talking.
“But why me? What can I do?” Lauren asked. Even when she was an ordinary human, there was no reason for her to be special. “Is it because I… created…”
“Yes, Lauren. It is precisely that. Because you’re the creator. The creator of Equestria.” Faust stopped playing with her mane and took a step forward her own self. “Only you have the power to stop Celestia. She is your own creation, after all.”
“Her own creation?” Luna asked, breaking the conversation between the two Laurens. “What does that mean?”
A smirk was quickly displayed on Faust’s muzzle. She turned around to look at Luna, then at Twilight. “It means exactly what you’ve just heard. Celestia, Twilight, yourself… You’re all Lauren’s creations.”
“Hush! Don’t tell them!” Lauren begged. The topic was shifted for a few seconds, but sadly, it came back to this. The secret she had kept to herself since arriving to Equestria.
“I won’t. You will,” Faust chuckled. “There is no way back now. They deserve to know who they really are, don’t you agree? It’s rude to keep secrets from your friends. It’s time to end this façade.”
Lauren grunted, pressing her hooves harder on the floor. She rolled her eyes to look at Twilight, who was staring right at her. There was no escape now. It was all over. She relaxed her body with a soft sight and bowed her head. “I… I give up,” she muttered.
Twilight stood up from her seat and walked towards Lauren and placed a hoof on her shoulder. She was worried about her. “It’s okay, you can trust us. What’s the matter?”
“It’s easier said than done, so you two better prepare yourselves for possibly the greatest shock of your lives,” Lauren warned. Both Luna and Twilight nodded. “Okay then,” she muttered. “Do you remember about what we talked about last night? About me knowing this world of Equestria because in my world, it was like a story?”
“Yeah, what about it?” Twilight asked. She remembered that conversation very well. It was just before they went to sleep last night. Lauren had told her that Equestria was like a story for her. It was sort of confusing, but at least she would tell her now what was going on.
Faust kept watching Lauren with a smirk on her face. Luna’s face showed a puzzled expression, a bit dazed about the matter.
“Well, your land… Equestria… is exactly that, a story,” Lauren said, staring at the ground in shame to avoid looking at Twilight’s reaction.
Twilight blinked, unsure about what she just heard. A story? That was vague. She needed more information. “Uh, I don’t get it. Care to be more specific, please?” she requested. Faust kept looking at Lauren, waiting for the great moment to arrive.
Just say it, Lauren! It doesn’t matter anymore! “Okay then, since you really want to know.” Lauren took a short breath. This was it, the moment she never wanted to come; the topic she was afraid to broach and actively avoided for the last few days. “You, Luna, Celestia... you’re all characters in this story.”
Twilight tilted her head and took a few steps back from Lauren. “Beg pardon?” she asked.
Luna couldn’t say a word, for she had the greatest knot in her throat. What could she mean that she was a character in that so-called story of hers? Meanwhile, Faust let out a faint snicker.
“In other words… you’re fictional characters of this story. A story created by none other than myself.” Lauren raised her head and looked deeply at Twilight’s purple eyes. “I am the creator of Equestria. As I said last night… this story is like a book. A book… that I wrote.” She took a few steps towards Twilight. “Twilight. You are the protagonist of my story. A story I called Friendship is Magic.”
A few seconds of silence shrouded the throne room. Luna and Twilight both stared at Lauren with their eyes wide open. They were trying to digest what she had just said. Something about them being fictional characters in some story of hers. Luna was the first to open her mouth to comment about it.
“So, you’re trying to tell us… that Twilight Sparkle is the protagonist of a story you created?” Luna calmly asked, waving a hoof around.
“Uh, yeah. That’s pretty much how things are,” Lauren responded, giving a friendly nod to the Princess of the Night.
“What kind of foalish joke is this!?” Luna yelled, immediately killing her calmed self who was talking just a few seconds ago. She stomped her hooves hard onto the ground, almost shattering her crystal shoes. “What is the meaning of this!?”
Faust kept looking at the scene without saying a word. She would occasionally let out a faint snicker. She glanced at Lauren, waiting for her answer to Luna. “Good time to explain our cutie marks, right, darling?”
“Cutie mark? Ah, right.” Lauren looked at her flank and stared at her ink bottle cutie mark. “You remember I said that I was a story-teller, right? Precisely, I wrote Friendship is Magic. That’s the title of this story.” She was releasing information like a newspaper. Each claim that came from her mouth puzzled Luna more and more.
Twilight had her head bowed down to the floor, futilely trying to accept the claims that Lauren was throwing at her. Protagonist? Story? Friendship is Magic? She had heard that last phrase before, it was quite familiar to her as the topic of her friendship reports to Princess Celestia.
“Exactly,” Faust commented, staring at Luna. “Remember when you corrupted into Nightmare Moon and were banished to the moon for a thousand years? Yeah, that was her doing.” She pointed her hoof at Lauren. “Every action that led you to do so was her own work.”
“H-hey! Don’t pin the blame on me! I had no idea something like this would happen!” Lauren complained. She didn’t notice the furious glare she was receiving from Luna.
“Thou art the reason why we became that monster!?” Luna yelled. Her Royal Canterlot Voice came out for pure instinct. “What were thou thinking!?”
“This was my story! I set-up a plot and developed it! I never thought I would meet the characters from my story!” Lauren explained.
“‘Tis a joke! A sham! We refuse to believe that!” Luna exclaimed. “If thou art our creator, prove the worth of thy words! Tell us something only we should rightfully know!”
Boy, this is just getting better and better. Prove it, eh? “Fine. Want me to say something like that?” She turned her head and looked at Twilight. “Twilight. You left Canterlot, the city where you were born, because Princess Celestia asked you to check the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration, correct?”
Twilight gasped, still unwilling to raise her head to look at her. How did she know? That was something only Spike, Princess Celestia or her friends in Ponyville would know.
“At first, you were all grumpy about meeting new friends, but that’s when Luna, as Nightmare Moon, came back from her thousand-year banishment.” Lauren paused, expecting that she would get interrupted. Fortunately, Luna remained quiet. “That’s when you, along with your friends, defeated Nightmare Moon using the Elements of Harmony. After that, you asked Celestia to let you stay in Ponyville. That’s when you discovered the magic of friendship.”
Twilight was astonished. She couldn’t comprehend how Lauren could know all about that. She finally raised her head and looked at her. “How… how do you know about that?” she asked, trying to keep her composure. “Do you mean that…”
“Yes, Twilight,” Faust intervened. “You, Luna, Celestia, your friends, Spike, everypony, even the whole of Equestria. They were created by none other than Lauren herself.”
“This is too confusing,” Luna said. It seemed that she was back to her calm self. She pressed her head with her hooves, rubbing them to get rid of the migraine she had acquired. “A story, you say? Like a book of common tales?”
Not really a book, but I guess it doesn’t matter. “The world you know of as your own, the one you rule together with your sister, is just a story; a story I unassumingly wrote, not realizing that my artistic creation had imprinted itself on this world. That’s all,” Lauren finished, hoping that it would be enough information to satisfy both Luna and Twilight.
“T-that’s all? That’s all?” Twilight fumed. “Are you telling me we’re only fictional characters in a story you wrote?” She only received another nod from Lauren. The evidence to support her claims was strong. She suspected that Lauren knew too much, but she never expected that things would end the way they ended.
“I’m afraid so. I’m sorry for hiding this from you all this time.” Lauren rubbed one of her front legs with a hoof.
“Why didn’t you tell us from the beginning?” Twilight asked. “It could have been much simpler that way, and maybe, we could have avoided many things that happened.”
“Come on, Twilight. What would have happened if I had told you that the night I arrived here? You would probably consider me as a crazy mare,” Lauren said. She was sure Twilight knew she had sense in her words. If anypony you just met told you a crazy story like that, you’d probably believe that he or she escaped from the mental asylum.
“So then… is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?” Twilight didn’t know what to believe anymore. She was puzzled even more than when she studied complex magic spells.
“You know, Twilight, that’s a question I’ve been asking myself since I arrived here. I, myself, don’t know what to believe anymore. I understand how you’re feeling, trust me.” Lauren walked a few steps closer to Twilight, raising her front hooves and wrapping them around her neck. She embraced her in a hug, which the unicorn returned by wrapping her own legs around the alicorn.
“Real life or fantasy,” Faust commented. “When it comes to that, only you have the last word.”
Upon hearing those words, Lauren broke Twilight from the hug, looking at Faust with confusion. “Explain yourself,” she requested.
“Lauren, you’re the creator of this world. You have to ask yourself these questions; is this reality? Is this an illusion? Is this a dream? Only you know the answer.” Faust’s smirk appeared once again on her face.
“So I’m assuming you know everything about my world, right?” Lauren questioned. “If you do, even you should know the answer to that question. The question if this is reality or if it’s just fantasy.”
“I know everything you know, Lauren. But remember these words.” Faust smirk was wiped from her face, and instead, a grimace displayed on it. “Once you find the answer to that question, your role here will be done,” Faust replied,
“However, I am not done yet,” she said, pointing her hoof at Faust. “You.”
“Me? What’s the matter, dear? Do I have something in my face?” Faust said, rolling her eyes to look at the tip of her nose for any signs of imperfections. However, there were none to be found.
“No. I mean, you,” Lauren said. “I don’t remember ever creating YOU. You are not part of MY story.”
Luna and Twilight looked at them with concern. The sudden revelation of Lauren’s origin was still bugging their minds. However, what she said grabbed their attention. Lauren didn’t create… herself?
“Ah ha ha, Lauren,” Faust chuckled. “You created me the moment you acknowledged me as your character,” she said, pressing a hoof against her chest. “I exist thanks to you. We are one soul, one mind, one body, one heart.”
“Yes, but I never acknowledged you to be Celestia and Luna’s mother,” Lauren claimed. She was right, after all. She didn’t acknowledge her character to be the Princess's mother. That was something totally unrelated. “Why then, you claim to be their mother?”
“That is… something beyond my knowledge,” Faust admitted. “I don’t know why I am who I am. I was created like this. Since always, I’ve been Celestia and Luna’s mother. Even if you didn’t create me to be it.”
“But that makes no sense. I created everyone to be who they are. What’s the matter with you, then?” Lauren asked. She wasn’t sure what could that mean.
“I’ve believed that there’s some sort of external influence causing this mess,” Faust said. She glanced back at her motionless daughter, looking at her mane, which lacked the pink color. “The same something that caused Celestia to end up like this.”
“You mean there’s something else causing all this mess?” Luna finally spoke. She seemed that she had forgotten about her being a fictional character for a while. “What is this something?”
“This something is the responsible of what happened to Celestia and caused this whole mess in the first place. It’s the reason why I had to bring you here, Lauren,” Faust explained, looking back at the smallest alicorn.
“Why? What can I do?” Lauren asked, completely clueless about her role in the whole deal.
“You’re the only one who can stop this something that has corrupted Celestia!” Faust replied. “We must save her, before this evilness within her corrupts her entire soul.”
“Just explain this to me,” Lauren said. She looked at Twilight and Luna before looking back at Faust. “How were you able to go to my world? What method did you use?”
“The wall between this world and yours is very thin, darling,” Faust said. She raised a hoof and tapped her forehead with it. “Once your mind is filled enough with this world essence, it’s fairly easy for me to reach your world.”
“I don’t get it. You mean you can travel to my world at will?” Lauren asked.
“No, of course not,” Faust replied. “My arrival to your world and your arrival to this world is no coincidence. I needed you because we need to stop Celestia. That night was the only chance I had to bring you here,” she explained. “The gate between these two worlds opened for just a fraction of second. That’s when I arrived there.”
“So that stormy night… you appeared right in my physical world,” Lauren said. It was still too hard to believe. How could a cartoon character visit the real, physical, non-technicolor world Everything sounded too crazy to be true, but she gave up trying to see everything the logically way a long while ago.
“After I appeared there, I had only thirty seconds to take you with me to Equestria,” Faust said.
“Then, why did Lauren appear all alone under the storm that night?” This time, it was Twilight who interrupted. If Faust said that she took her to Equestria, the only logical thing would be if she appeared right next to her.
“It’s because I couldn’t reveal myself to you, yet.” Faust looked once again at Celestia. She was still unconscious and unaware of the conversation. “I kept watching you, though. Since you arrived to the moment you met with Celestia today. I’ve been watching every step you and Celestia had made.”
“But why hide yourself? You should have told us from the beginning what was going on!” Lauren complained.
Faust closed her eyes and turned her back to Lauren. “Lauren. Your life. I desire it.”
The vital thing right now was saving Celestia. Questions could wait for later. Before Lauren could open her mouth to reply to what Faust just said, something unexpected happened.
“Hah…” a voice muttered from somewhere in the room. The four mares immediately identified the origin from the mutter. It came from Celestia; the one they thought was already defeated. The one who was being corrupted by an evil something. The one they needed to save… from herself. Lauren, Twilight, Luna and Faust had a serious problem on their hooves.
Faust clenched her teeth and stepped back. The other mares did the same, keeping their distance from the Princess of the Sun.
“Hah… hah…” Celestia sighed. “I… hah hah hah.” Her sighs turned into a clear chortle. Her front hooves began to shake as the slowly moved them and pressed them against the floor. “Hah hah hah.” She kept chortling. Now her hind legs were moving, doing exactly the same as her front legs. They pressed on the floor, trying to look for support. “I… I heard everything!” she exclaimed.
Everypony gasped in unison as they saw Celestia raising herself from the floor with certain difficulty. All of a sudden, her whole body stood up, making herself stand up in four hooves. She had her right eye closed, while staring at everypony with her half-opened left eye. Her wicked grin displayed clearly on her face. She was the same insane Celestia that Twilight, Lauren and Luna had to battle moments ago. She was not done yet.
“So I am a character from a story written by my mother? Talk about nonsense!” Celestia exclaimed.
“C-Celestia!” Luna exclaimed. “H-how!? Your body was paralyzed!”
“Foolish little sister,” Celestia mumbled, looking at Luna with hate on her face. “You lack experience, Luna. You underestimate my power.” Her glance shifted towards Faust. “And you… mother…” Her front hooves slowly moved, allowing her to take a step forward. “I will make you pay for everything you’ve done to me…”
“Celestia! Desist! Do not do this to yourself!” Faust yelled, taking a step forward as well to show her dominance.
“Shut up! You’ll pay for what you did to Luna! You’ll pay for trying to wipe away my memory! You will…” Celestia paused. Her grin disappeared, and instead, her face displayed a frown. “You will pay for leaving me…” Her left eye shed a single glistening tear. The single tear which reflected all of the positive feelings she had for her mother. Feelings which are unknown to a Celestia who is a mere shadow of her former benevolent self.
“Hmm…” Faust closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I never thought it would come to this,” she said. “Celestia, my own daughter. It hurts me deeply to watch you suffering like this. But you’re leaving me no choice here. We will stop you, for your own sake!”
“My own sake?” Celestia said, recovering her evil grin from a few seconds ago. “I will be perfectly fine after I make you and your other self disappear! Then I will finally be in peace! You think I’m just a fictional character? Let’s see how fictional your fate becomes once I’m done with you!” she yelled. Her voice echoed through the throne room. The voice of the once fair ruler of Equestria.
“Lauren,” Faust said, without shifting her gaze from Celestia. She was prepared now. Ready for what was going to happen next. There was no turning back now. “This is it. This is where our final battle begins.”
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Actually, it would be fun if DeiStar gets directly involved with the story, like this:
Faust: ...Actually, I lied. I am actually DeiStar, the creator of this universe!
Twilight/Lauren/Luna/Celestia: What!?
Then Lauren would get her own existential crisis...
Okay, okay. I kid. I've been working on my own mythology (involving creators and their creation) a little too much, but this is too interesting to pass up. Also, staying up too late for too many days, my train of thought is getting weird. =s
I have a sudden urge to listen to Queen...
"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"
Image: http://awesomefail.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/moar_35.jpg.jpg
And at the fifth wall
Image: http://i.istockimg.com/file_thumbview_approve/665765/2/stock-photo-665765-wall-crack.jpgTHIS.
But....what....what THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Image: http://modernsophist.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/dope-exploding-head.jpg
Faust does a little too much smirking and condescending. I don't quite trust that mare...
> Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
> Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.
Eeyup, that about sums it up.
> Open your eyes! Look up to the skies and see!
Always sound advice.
> I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
> because I'm easy come, easy go little high little low
Uhhh... I don't know...
> Anyway the wind blows doesn't really matter to me to me.
I'm not sure yet how this fit's in...
Maybe Lauren will simply wake up if it all goes the way of the poodel?
Or am I overanalysing? Again?
For some random reason.........
Bohemian Rhapsody lyrics
(
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
Little high, little low,
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to
me, to me
Mama,
I just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger
now he's dead
Mama... life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mamaaaaa oooh,
Didn't mean to make you cry,
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters
Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all
the time
Goodbye, ev'rybody, I've got to go,
Got to leave you all behind and face the truth
Mamaaaaa oooh, (Away the wind blows)
I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all
(Guitar solo)
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will you do the
Fandango?!
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very
me!
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Figaro - magnifico
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family,
Spare him his life from this monstrosity!
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go
Bismilah! No, we will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bismilah! We will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bismilah! We will not let you go
(Let me go) Will not let you go
(Let me go)(Never) Never let you go
(Let me go) Never let you go (Let me go) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me,
for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
So you think you can stop me and spit in my
eye?!?!
So you think you can love me and leave me to
die?!?!
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta
here!
Nothing really matters, Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters to me...
Anyway the wind blows...)
So yeah, another cliffhanger
Well then you're probably going to hate the ending of the last chapter.
Lauren sighed as she saved her work and turned off her computer. It was done, the script for the last episode of the season. A story of her little ponies discovering the truth about themselves and their world, where Lauren herself got to tell them how much they meant to her and how proud she was of them. It was a little unconventional, but she was sure there wouldn't be too many questions about where she found the inspiration for it. Heading over to the couch, flopping down, and propping her feet up on the coffee table, Lauren couldn't help but reflect on things as she drank the last of her coffee, taking a sip and nodding with a smile to Pinkie as the pink party pony took a gulp of her own drink next to her.
A moment later, her eyes went wide and coffee was sprayed everywhere. "(cough, cough) P-Pinkie! How..."
Pinkie just grinned. "Funny thing, did you know that you can keep any kind of door open by sticking something inside to block it?"
Image: http://i.imgur.com/OVYC5.jpg
Twilight is one of Queen! The new Freddy Mercury! lol
"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"
Image: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6yG-rrJkNd0/TnoEWOStIDI/AAAAAAAACAs/4IMjw1urhJA/s1600/queen-bohemian-rhapsody.jpg
Faust, stop trolling yourself. It's not nice.
The best explanation I could come up with for Celestia is that she has her own "Nightmare Moon." Just as a form corrupted Luna, there is a form that corrupted Celestia. Oh, should we give this form a name too? Maybe Corona as a nod to Lunaverse? 
Well, so far the world is pointing closer towards reality since Faust was able to appear in Lauren's world. Maybe Lauren predicted another universe and didn't even know it! Of course, Lauren has to take a leap of faith to either reality or fantasy.
Also, those Royal Guards sure are deaf, aren't they? Shouldn't the two Guards who are usually posted behind the door to the Throne Room come barging in right now? 
>>992469 Now see, if the story actually had this level of twistiness, then I'd like it.
As it is, the pacing is horribly rushed, the 'reveals' have all been completely predictable, and this is not a very good example of a 'writing a world into existence' plot I've seen.
There's simply no drama, no point to everything that came before. I skimmed the last couple chapters in less than 5 minutes and found every relevant plot point. It was made easier by the fact that it became painfully obvious how everything would turn out about 4 chapters ago.
From the moment Celestia started going crazy, it seems the whole story has done the proverbial jumping of the shark, with hastily contrived scenarios lacking in depth or proper exposition.
Now, one can write a cliche plot and still end up with something excellent if the writing bears it out, if the characters and settings are rich and dynamic. But honestly, these last chapters have been so rushed, so hasty to spit out every last plot detail that there is absolutely no depth to anyone or anything.
Celestia, Twilight, and Faust are mono-dimensional. They have no character to speak of. Luna and Lauren are barely better, and their emotional states change so frequently I can't get any sense of consistency in their words or actions. A character needs to feel organic, alive, touched by the world around them and able to touch the reader. There's nothing of that here. The dialog is wooden and artificial; it's the basest melodrama.
It's almost like the first half was written by a different author. There was honest curiosity in Lauren's explorations, gentle humor, and level characterizations. Also the settings were adequately described as were the characters interaction's with the settings. They felt far more 'real' than they do now. I think those vital details in creating a flowing narrative have been abandoned in favor of action and truly needless cliffhangers to hook people along into reading. The chapters are quite short, there's no need for a cliffhanger at every chapter break.
The best stories I've read only have a few very well-placed surprise elements, sometimes in the middle of a chapter rather than at the end.
And I was hoping so very very much that Lauren was not the true creator. This type of storyline is horribly difficult to execute well. In all but a single case of its use, the internal consistency and logic of the narrative was shot to hell by the end.
I'm afraid I can't keep reading this anymore. It's derailed far too much for my tastes, and is now plunging deeper and deeper into a trope that rarely makes any internal sense even when written by masters of fiction. 
Wow, just wow whoever you are, you are very talented my friend. This should be made into a film it's beautifully written, the reason why? You've kept me focus on the story wanting to read on plus hanging onto the edge of my seat, it's been funny, it's shocked me with its twists and turns and it's angered me with the amazing cliff hangers. But overall you should feel proud of what you have written. My respect goes out to you and hardly anyone earns it so well done friend
That being the case, Twilight took it very well, all considering. No psychological breakdowns, no major philosophical debates, etc.
She took it almost... too well. Like she was expecting something like that...
(Funny typo: mistakenly hit s before the ex in expecting... it's fixed. XD)
Eh, can't say I haven't heard that before. I've stated so many times that I'm not a very skilled writer, and that this is my first time writing a novel length fic.
I've been told the pace was incredibly slow, and I've been told the pace is incredibly fast.
I've been told my A and B characters lack characterization, I've been told it's C and D who lack it.
I've been told I have plot issues, I've been told I need to keep certain pace.
Ups and down with this fic, but hey, if you don't like it anymore, thanks for the ride anyway. 
>> Kage no Brony
Yo're right, she took it quite well, in fact very well...She know too much! Quick to the adjustment Bureau!>>993660
EDIT: I am trying to make it show your comment but it won't let me. I just created an account today and the site is already giving me hell!
Really? In the first half, I was helping proofread a few chapters. Mostly grammatical stuff, but sometimes I would add some tips on improving the flow, or slip in some "Show, don't tell" background detail in between talking.
Huh... I write very slowly, but if you noticed a difference, maybe I should take a shot at writing a story like this.
Some of my lingering questions were answered and only a couple more were added!
This fic is a roller coaster ride, I can see why people may think it is fast paced (cuz it is slightly) and why it is slow (b/c there is SO MUCH TO TELL/SHOW) 
Also to your comment previously, Fausticorn; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jpgy21r_dRE
The final battle versus a corrupted god?
Oh yeah. This is gonna have to play.
Image: http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/shit-just-got-real.jpg
Image: http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y289/sdaghwqhF/dis-gon-b-gud.gif
Alright I read the last three chapters in a row...them cliffhangers...can't get drama without them. Anyway, excellent chapters. Especially when Faust appeared and explained everything. After all, leaving ANOTHER thing other than the reveal of Equestria being created by Lauren keeps me quite intrigued. I just don't know what else it could be...ONWARDS WITH THE BATTLE! (although then again, having an two great alicorns, an rookie alicorn so to speak, and a WELL trained and powerful unicorn does seem unfair
). Still, it was explained well in what in my opinion. Nothing seem out of the plot, thus, well written. Great chapter and see you on the next one!
And for regards on your downvote comment...I don't know but...you have 48 downvotes against 1143 upvotes, a total of 79,602 views, 1918 comments with VERY few of them being yours, and 1830 favorites. You should probably not ask people to justify the downvotes, because it could have jsut people that didn't like it and that was it. Besides, not everyone explains the why, as much as we writers may hate that. To tell the truth, I wouldn't complain if they didn't explain why they didn't like it. After all, again, not everyone will explain, and besides, it could have been that today there were some people that didn't like it, you know? Assuming that that can't happen is, almost as if you were so confident in that you're not getting downvotes in consecutive, that when you do, then there MUST be a reason why, not just that people didn't like it. Note, I'm not saying you are but...commenting stuff like that when your story is quite famous, so to speak, is almost like egocentrical, bragging, something like that. Again, not saying you are, but you seem like it. just worry about the people like Alondro who, while not liking the story anymore, at least he explained why in a very detailed way, and that's what we writers need to become better ones. If your story is good enough that just one person told you that, then don't strain away from it, but remember it for next time. Just...don't wonder about the downvotes when your story has the stats your's have, okay? Doesn't seem like the best way to respond.
It's not that.
You're right. This fic has 1147 vs 49 votes, as of now. I don't care about dislikes, but if you read this blog, you can understand why sometimes it bothers me.
When people just click the downvote because this has human tag, or because it's popular, or something.
Note, I'm not saying everyone who has downvoted did that. I'm sure there are legit downvotes and I'm ok with them. I'm just saying there might be some of those "didn't read, still downvoted" votes around.
>>998991 Yeah, I know where you are going. It really does suck when that happens. I myself I'm writing a fic and I think the first thing I got was a downvote...but I can't remember right now. Thus, why I, at the end of every chapter on my fic, I say at the end of my catchphrase: "haters ignored, flamers abhorred". Meaning, I don't care if you downvote me because you didn't like a tag, or even because you just felt like it. Frankly, since it is my first fic, I even praised the fact that somebody cared enough to downvote me or even tell "your story sucks", or something like that. Of course I don't like it, but since it is my first writing, I honestly couldn't care any less. If you explain why, awesome. If not, I'm not bothering. There is sadly people who do that, and best we can do is ignore them, instead, try to always look at the positive side, especially on your case. We ALWAYS want people to explain why they like the fic or not, but we have to remember the fact that people can be either idiotic, trolls, or whatever. Considering the fact that this is your first fic, I think you can kick all of the flanks of the idiots who downvote just because tags or even no reason. You show them this...you kick their flanks, pure and simple
. Anyway, point is, I know what you mean. Just try to ignore it, even if it is something it makes us writers fume, okay?
lol as soon as I heard Twilight say "So then… is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"
by some AMAZING coincident iTunes switched to the next song on my playlist as soon as she said that and... you guessed it Bohemian Rhapsody came on I roared with laughter it was frickin hilarious
Well, we can saftly say that the 4th wall is beond repair now. And I have finaly found a picture I can use for cliff hangers.
Image: https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-R__TDkPJAJI/UBbLQ-XNfAI/AAAAAAAABP0/R0E4k1_yzqg/s1600/MLPCliffHanger.pngYou have broken one of my sanity locks whit this story.
Nuff said
YOU KEPT ME UP TILL 5:30am EVERY NIGHT WITH THIS STORY
WELL DONE
MUFFINSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
WEEEEEEEEEEE
FUNNEST COMMENT EVURRRRRRRR OMFG THIS IS MY FIRST COMMENT EVURR IM HAVING A LOT OF FUN AS U CAN SEE
L-O-L-W-U-T¿ BOOOOLLLLLLDDDDDDNESSSSSSSSSS WOOOOOO
I'm done now 
Image: http://iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/35416__safe_fluttershy_animated_crying_angel_ponyville-confidential_.gifTO...MANY...CLFF...HANGERS
WHYYY
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