• Member Since 18th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 10th, 2023

Tofu-Monstrosity


is just dancing through life.

T
Source

This story is a sequel to Falling Backwards


Most ponies Twilight Sparkle’s age would never dream of being in her position. Then again, most ponies can safely say they’ve never been a princess of Equestria, Element of Harmony and are currently raising one of their best friends after a traumatic brain injury left her completely helpless. No, she can safely say that she’s alone in that regard.

Now edited by Schadenponi.

Alternate timeline sequel by DG Games found here: Raising Rainbows

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 175 )

hey tofu, im about to read this, but any chance we can cross link my alternate sequel and your sequel. so your fans get my chapters and my fans get yours.. i mean, have you seen the likes raising rainbow got in the first few days?

good job, I look forward to seeing where this goes.

Although, I do have to ask, it seemed like you were going a long way to make everything present tense: asks instead of asked, etc...

May I ask why? it seems like a pain in the flank. It was also a little distracting to read. (might just be me on that one.)

Also you missed one.

Rainbow Dash, who climbed up and...

Unless that was on purpose?

Yes the official sequel is out! And you cover is adorable! Can't wait to see Scootaloo's reaction!

I agree with twidash all the present tense is disorienting, but I'm lookig forwardto seeing where this goes

Comment posted by Cde Snow Frost deleted Jun 2nd, 2014

There are now to sequels to falling backwards. That is amazing

Oh my god it's so CUTE!

4453945
I am also curious as to the thought prosess behind this choice of tense. it makes things somewhat disjointed, each parragraph reading like an outline of events rather then a flowing narrative. Still, I enjoyed the first so I will definatly be watching to see where this goes.:twilightsmile:

OMG so cute. Nice way to start off a sequel :twilightsmile:

What do you think of the unofficial sequel?

I can't help but wonder about the conversation between Twilight and Rainbow when she's older about her accident... No doubt she'll notice pictures of her older self or overhear a comment about it at some point.

ah if only we could relive the exubarance and innocence of youth. I almost missed this story until i saw it on the front page. :rainbowderp:

This is a fun story, but it's riddled with mistakes common among inexperienced writers.

Your biggest problem is with what is called "tense", which is whether the events takes place in the past, present, or future. You need to either tell the story like you're recalling something that already happened, or tell it like you're describing it scene-by-scene as it happens. Your constant switching between the two (sometimes even within the same sentence!) is incredibly distracting.

decides to intervene before Twilight looses her temper.

"Looses" should be "loses".

4456294 Older sister who died in a flying accident.

Close enough when you think about it. After all the Rainbow Dash they all knew and loved died in that accident and was replaced by the filly that stands before them now.

4458013
Still... I'd imagine somepony, like Diamond Tiara, would spill the beans. She'll find out the truth eventually, and that would be an interesting conversation.

4458151 Can't be more awkward then the conversation Kenai had with Koda in Brother Bear about how he's actualy a human and was the guy who killed his mom.

You know you have watched to much ASDF when you read the first chapters title and think of this.img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131210041500/slushinvaders/images/9/9e/And_Suddenly,_Pineapples!.jpg

4458013 not exactly. in our world that would be the case. in equestria there is a bit more to it. likely rainbow dash IS still in there, but those memories are dormant. these are beigns of magic after all, could well be their minds and obdies follow a few different rules.

The thing I'm wondering about is Dash's house.

this story makes me sad :fluttershysad:

:pinkiesad2: :fluttercry: :raritydespair:
Why must this tale be so sa.....
I was not about to say sad I was about to say....um....sapphire!
This story is so sapphire.....it means...... Cool and....neat? :pinkiehappy:
Nope...I am not laying at all. :pinkiecrazy:



P.S. The first story was cool to. :pinkiehappy:

4461405
It'll be their summer home. They can use the cloud-walking spell on Spike and head up for a week or so.

Still got tensing issues that make it a bit of an awkward read.

Also lots of wrong word usage.
e.g.

but still encompassed by the bustling city below

Try entranced, or enchanted, or enraptured, or enamored.

Please don't take offense, but I suggest going out and getting a decent English dictionary and a thesaurus. I know there are a few good online dictionaries but an ink and paper edition will serve you well and is a good investment. Online is great for finding words you already know, or at least think you know, but nothing beats opening a dictionary to a random page and finding a new word.

Hmmm... I REALLY like this. Momma Twily and filly Dash, I really like.

i know it isn exactly the same but when rainbow found that the soup was hot it reminded me of somthing from my childhood.

tk4

Anyone else find the cover picture... mildly disturbing?
Because to me, it looks like Dash is one of these:
myhealthypassion.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/troll-doll.jpg

Rimdow dash and cuteie mark crusaders please please please that wold make this twenty precent cooler like this comment if you agree sorry for errors:pinkiehappy::moustache::facehoof:

Why does it keep switching the tense? Present and past? :rainbowhuh:

Its the start to a really good Series. :-)

CUTE!!!!

Also, poor Twilight, that conversation happened sooner then i would have liked lol.

Good job on the tense this time around. i didn't notice any issues with it. (of course, I am kinda tired lol)

This is so cute!

I'm a sucker for heart-warming moments, and I hope to see more in the midst of this impending foreshadowing.

Keep up the good work! Don't let the blinking cursor get you down.

:fluttercry: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE THIS TALE SO SAD YET REALISTIC ON THE RELATION BETWEEN A MOTHER AND CHILD!!!! :raritycry:
AND CUTE, NOT TO MENTION CUTE!!

Spike then reached for Twilight’s mane and tail shampoo and started rubbing that in.

Don't you mean Rainbows? :rainbowwild:

4573172 i havent read the story but i think it does mean twilights since its talking about the shampoo and not the mane and tail

4573208 OH I get it, for hers. Like the one she owns, it was just worded too simply.

oh what are you complaining about spike? you have no fur so you dry off easily.

This will be an excellent growing experience for Twilight... She needs to grow some backbone and learn that kids are often irrational, emotional, and their minds change like the wind.

It's rather crazy to see how different this is from "Raising Rainbows." We're definitely headed in two opposite directions.

If you give a Pegasus a bath, they'll want to have bubbles in it.
And if they want bubbles in it, they'll also want their favorite rubber ducky.
And once they have their rubber ducky, they'll ne happy.
And then the bath is over, and they'll want to dry.
So you get a towel and dry them.
Then they'll want to play outside.
And if they play outside, they'll get filthy.
And if they get filthy...
Then they need to take a bath.

Twilight seriously needs to study up on parental tactics.

4573558
it seems to me that Twlight already has the backbone required. What she is lacking is tact.

I think Twilights parents should learn about this.

Comment posted by Princess Elytra deleted Jun 25th, 2014

What's the main difference between this official sequel and the other? I'm interested in both but not if they're just gonna cover the same ground.
Also, seconding those who are pointing out the tense issues, they are quite distracting.

I know that you probably have a life outside of writing for our enjoyment and if you look at my one story you'll see I'm a hypocrite, but will we see a chapter 3 soon?

Mommy you so mean and unfair

Lol, she sounds like a stereotypical sassy black woman.

4624582 This comment is a bit old but I'm one of the authors of the other sequel. The main difference is that in our fic, Rainbow regains her mind shortly after getting reduced to a foal.

This is going to continue?

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