Liking the story so far, has some good humor, the main charecter is well played. Spelling errors are a minimum, and overall this looks like it could have some great potential!

Just one thing, dont over-explain, we dont need to know if he was standing up or sitting down.

Otherwise you have the foundation for a well written story!

Oh dear, it seems our protagonist has fallen into a hole. I'm sure he'll be fi-

Image: http://blogs.ngm.com/.a/6a00e00982269188330133f2090170970b-500wi

...

This interests me. Tracking

I'm not entirely sure what happened here, did he boop Luna, or a random bystander? And assuming it was Luna, how did she hit him in the face, seeing as he's slightly taller than Celestia (assuming Celestia has a height of about six feet) and Luna has to use all four of her hooves to stand on? Did she rear up?

>>413610413610

I was assuming unicorn horn magic, really. Telekinesis ought to be able to boop you good.

Looks good! I'll be keeping an eye on this as it develops

love it.

Well, I got some time to kill so sure.

How entertaining, I'll defiantly watch this one.

I thought he bopped celestia

Good chapter I liked it alot *EDIT* FIRST!

I love this and finaly a hie with a sense of humour

>>415783415783 Someone who actually thinks I have a good sense of humor?

Image: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yVy9kNKQ3r0/Tn4hyAGCHNI/AAAAAAAAAKw/1AlSB5jxumA/s1600/manly+tears+discord3.png

There are some spelling mistakes and random letters here and there. Other than that, I love your humour. Keep it up!

>>415820415820 ... I'm well aware of those. It's because I type extremely fast with only my left hand. Noone needs to remind me everytime I start another story. I already know about those.

>>415823415823 Sorry, I didn't read any other of your stories so I wouldn't know. Again, sorry.

>>415827415827 I took no offense.

Image: http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/117/014/GsE3k.jpg

I think this is one of the first stories I've read where the human isn't completely outclassed by the ponies in terms of brute force. I also liked the silliness with the guards. I personally think Celestia just keeps them around for their looks.

>>416040416040 Molestia aprro...you saw nothing.

Can't help but wonder how strong he is in their world if it took both of them to stop him, lol

I wonder, will there be a magic vs might debate in this between him and the Princesses?

>>416163416163  I could do that later on, but it would be a "friendly" fight

>>416169416169 Aww, I was so hoping for some action, Oh well can't win them all.

>>416173416173 I have something planned. Don't worry. And the first one doesn't involve the princesses.

>>416178416178 And I guess any more information is

Image: http://www.psdgraphics.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/top-secret-stamp.jpg

>>416183416183 Exactly. Now then :

Image: http://chaoticsignal.com/image/original/quiet_you_picard.jpg

>>416253416253 The people have the right to know!

(violent noises)

And now I'll be going.

is Mark Fenix a homage to Markus Fenix from Gears of War?

mark Pheonix XD

Wait... if he was going to bed... wouldn't he be naked and/or in boxers?

Oh that must hurt

>>416546416546

Image: http://images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2379-99229_-_animated_applejack_Applelie_liarjack_what_.gif

>>416638416638 Some people, like me, like to go to bed wearing shorts or pants and a shirt. I'll redo that part where he goes to bed to properly explain that he was wearing the underwear, teh pants, und a shirt.

>>416912416912

BUT THERE IS SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR AWKWARD!

IN THE NEXT CHAPPIE HAVE HIM NOTICE THAT HE HAS BEEN IN BOXERS THROUGH THE WHOLE OF HIS SHENANIGANS!

>>416924416924 'kay, but I'll still give him his shirt.

>>416927416927

close enough

Image: http://images.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/14828969.jpg

>>416943416943

Image: http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/12685645.jpg

>>416955416955

Image: http://arcadboymugen.webs.com/photos/ZeekyZapper/dude%20what.png

>>416967416967

Oh Noes... you deleted the picture of lyra going EW!

My revenge:

Image: http://us4.memecdn.com/revenge_o_173896.jpg

>>416975416975

Image: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmnflhbn9M1qi1nrwo1_400.jpg

>>416979416979

Image: http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR--kuTGrT0YVCEmwkQFTINCaiKNfBZ_dYoVIEJYd8GtrLeED50wIw3HWZzkw

I am liking the story so far but I have one problem.

The part where he fell onto the bed and broke through the floor didn't flow too well. it seemed a bit rushed and could have used a bit more detail as to what happened. Also I feel like he should have had a bit of a different response to what happened

>>417566417566 Meh. I get your point, but I made it like that so that the reader would get confused. I plan everything in advance, even without knowing! I'm simply too

Image: http://images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw898_large.png

for my own good.

The story would have been much better if you didn't add little comments between the dialog between characters. It kind of takes away from the mood set by the story and, while funny, lowers overall quality of the story.

If you bring out more of these, I will read them. Just please keep the comments out of the story.

>>417724417724 Then I will remove them.

>>417737417737 Well... idk you could probably change them and incorporate them into the thoughts of character in the story. And don't get me wrong... I am loving the story. It is, for the most part, very well written and has an awesome story line.

>>417744417744 I aim to shoot originality IN. THE. HEAD.

>>417748417748 Couldn't hold my laughter back when I saw that line coupled with insane pinkie.

I do appreciate your sense of humor.

>>417794417794 You acuse me of...of having a sense of humor...

Image: http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/239/933/63b.png

This guy talks to himself WAY to much. Might want to put in a 'he muttered' every once in a while so it doesn't seem like a he's a complete whack-job.

So when tasked by the ruler of Equestria to watch over a potential threat, Philomena hangs onto him for a while and then decides to bugger off? Trollestia has trained her well.

Also Mark is now Neo from the Matrix.

Image: http://ruleoftworeview.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/m2-NeoVsSmith.jpg

>>421774421774

Image: http://pictures.mastermarf.com/blog/2009/090523-one-of-us.jpg

I got to ask are these new recruits or something? These guards are going down way to easily.

>>421782421782 It did take an hour...just think that Mark was thinking

Image: http://www.retromodo.co.uk/img/p/17745-19959-large.jpg

Good chapter. I love this guy's inner artist, especially when he sees something like the valley and starts describing it. Keep up the good work, man!

>>421955421955 I don't know, they still seemed to be tossed around too easily.

Also love the new name.

>>422580422580 It's based on the character from the story of said name. I have BIG plans for him. Oh, and you wanted to see the story where Nightmare Moon is reborn? Sorry but, I've found in error in the storyline and I need to redo everything so that it can follow up. Instead, I'll do another HIE fic until I can sort my ideas for Nightmare Moon out, unless, you want to see Psycho's return...

>>422654422654

Take your time, no need to worry

I want you to succeed so don't hurry

GenericApplejackBuckingTheHellOutOfHumanMoment.mp4 or at least attempt to...

that darn apple family

You sir are funny as hell, and you can quote me on that... One more thing.... Ten mustaches

Ahh those Ponies, always jumping to conclusions

I notice that in every story where the human isn't introduced to Applejack in a controlled environment, she ends up bucking them silly. Every time.

>>425356425356 I am honored once again by mustaches. May I present to you, the Cthulu 'stache

Image: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dg-kNU8pBqE/ThQ0GGTqJCI/AAAAAAAAAjA/xYfxmK2EpiQ/s1600/hot_weird_funny_amazing_cool_a-funn-big-crazy-mustache-3_200907251459242092.jpg

I loved the ending.. lol. The William Shatner joke was also very well set up. -brohoof-

The past two chapters have shown a lot of improvement over the first few. Keep up the great story man, I can't wait to see applejack beat the shit out of Marcus. (is that his name? lol)

>>425505425505 It's Mark, although I tend to accidentally write Marcus because of the name I took it from.

>>425520425520 Lol   I noticed. I am still in love with this person's artistic analysis of everything beautiful he sees and his flattery with Luna. I saw a few tiny spelling errors, would you like me to PM them to you?

A few guards were strewn about, but the human was holding one of the groaning guards by both hind legs and was using him to beat those that were trying to leave the pile he made.

& ?

Edit: Allow Me to Translate-

"..."

"Hmm?"

"Hey Applejack, what's that thing?"

"Ah don't know, but it looks like it's destroying the walls."

"Let's get it!"

another enjoyable one. Also like the new avatar.

>>425933425933 I get bored of them periodically, but I liked the previous one. I'm just experimenting here.

The only issue I'm having is that all these poetic rants start to get annoying after a while. We know he's an artist, you don't have to keep reminding us, it just interrupts the flow. And I want to see him hold Dash like a disobedient cat.

Image: http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/EXID9534/images/Kim_Kardashian_and_the_cat.jpg

...soon...

Another great chapter. I bet RD will most probably try to ram into Mark and continuously punch him when/if she meets him.

>>426193426193 So you all want Rainbow Dash in here? And as for the poetry, I get the message. I was planning on doing it only one last time with Fleur de Lis, but, oh well.

another good chapter. As for the poety, all I can say is this.

awesome need more!

I personally LOVE the artistic rants. They are well written and, while we already know Mark is an artist, they help to define his character even more. I'm very surprised that you are able to keep putting out a chapter every day and still maintain the quality. I struggled to find any errors in this chapter.

Favorite part was the part with pinkie. I loved how Pinkie was able to completely destroy the 4th wall by making a gears reference. I also thought you did a great job describing her and made her seem really cuddly. I want a Pinkie Pie to hug

I can't wait to see how you introduce the other main characters; judging by the events that occurred in the past chapter, I am guessing that rarity will be the next he meets.

I give this chapter 15 out of 10 fourth wall breaking ponies.

>>426466426466 I actually only planned on having Applejack and Pinkie Pie appear at irregular intervals, but I can add them all in case that spruces up the story a bit more. You just gave me the way they meet. I already have a way Rainbow Dash appears.

>>426488426488 Yay! More Pinkie Pie!! -huggles-

>>426532426532 You know what, I hate wasting my ideas. I'm going to put in the others of the mane 6.

>>426566426566 What do you mean? What are you going to put in the others of the mane 6? Could you rephrase that sentence please?

>>426679426679 I meant that I was going to put the other ponies of the mane 6 besides Applejack and Pinkie Pie.

>>426711426711 Oh.. well yah. I'm just saying that I loved the interaction with Pinkie. I would love to play some Horde mode with her in Gears 3. :3

at the end he acts like this happens all the time

dafuk is wrong wit you brain? LOL

Please excuse me while I faint. Not from blood loss, but from sheer disbelief.

he seems way too calm for this

Damn royalty, you scareh!

>>428979428979 Well...Speaking for myself I tend to stay very calm in the face of adversity...though when my own blood comes into play I tend to get a bit testy.

Dat hint about next chapter.

>>429908429908

Image: http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/sciencenotfiction/files/2010/11/dr-evil.jpg

I am loving this story man. I won't go too deep into analysis since its kinda 8am and I have school in... wait its 9am.. I should probably stop reading fanfics and go to college. lol. I am def gonna be late to class.

>>430013430013 Well I'm on vacation for still one week. U mad?

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE I WANT MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!

>>430028430028 On my phone now. And no im not mad. I have a 4 day weekend every week because of the way i set up my classes.

Dear Lord, I could spot quite a lot of typos and misspellings all over this chapter.

Other than that, I liked this chapter!

>>430127430127

Image: http://www.myfacewhen.net/uploads/1333-i-mad.jpg

Also when this guy meets rarity this is what I expect to happen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8H9y7iZeBqg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I really feel like this is building up to a magic vs might debate in the near future.

>>430028430028 YES

>>430281430281

Image: http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/042/6/3/u_jelly__by_vladdyboy-d4pf5ho.jpg

>>430177430177 That link isn't working for me...unless it was a link to the "jizz in my pants" ringtone thing that I found.

Image: http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d103/Smarty10Pants08/jizz.jpg