Wait, am I now just the one who wrote Mortem? 'Cause I think I'm okay with that.
Twilight has started to have new feeling for her close Friend Pinkie Pie, will Twilight be able to accept these feelings and the idea that she might not be what society wants her to be? how will her friends react, especially Pinkie Pie.
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IN your description you write "will Twilight be able to except these feelings" but you want to replace except with accept.
Except is a term of exclusion for example "I ate all the apples except this one".
Accept is the word you want "I accept your offer to go to the dance".
4438476 Thanks a lot, it's surprisingly hard for me to notice things like that, especially at midnight. But i still hoped you enjoyed the story so far :)
just changed the Picture for the story because i noticed there was already another story already using it, and i think this one works better with what i'm going for. just a little update for you, kind of
I love the story! You might want to try finding an editor though. An editor will help you with your grammar!
Try out:
http://www.fimfiction.net/group/197236/overly-extensive-editors
Overall I like the story idea and where its heading but an editor seems like a good idea to help with the grammar
I'm not good at proof-reading myself which is why I'm looking for an editor myself!!
I really like where this story is going,it has a great storyline and I like how much you make Twilight nervous around Pinkie, not that many books I've read do that, but I do agree with some of the other comments about getting a editor, this just needs a couple touch ups on the grammatical side, and while I would wholeheartedly say yes to being an editor for you, I believe I would and should not be a first choice, if I was able to pay attention in English then of course I would help, but I haven't so I really could only do things like spelling and some grammar. I do hope you find a great person to edit your work because with the edits this could be a really great read.
This is my attempt at a Shipping story between Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie pie. it's about self acceptance and all that jazz, i am not gay personally so i have never had to go through this but i have a lot of friends who are, and i have been witness to there struggles, that and the manga "girlfrinds" is what inspired me to make this, it's my first attempt at a shipping so be nice, i've done my best to check the grammar but that has never been my strong point, please tell me if you notice anything i can change. i'm sorry about not finishing the other story, life caught up to me and i don't feel motivated to write for it, i might finish it one day if i get the time. i do hope you enjoy this :)
Aside from filling your description with an authors note, this is going to offset most readers because of the sheer number of grammatical errors before even reading the story.
"Twilight has started to have new feeling for her close friend Pinkie Pie, will Twilight be able to accept these feelings and the idea that she might not be what society wants her to be?
andHow will her friends react, especially Pinkie Pie?This is my attempt at a Shipping story between Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie. It's about self acceptance and all that jazz. I am not gay personally so I have never had to go through this, but I have a lot of friends who are.
andI have been witness to their struggles, that and the manga, "Girlfriends," is what inspired me to make this. It's my first attempt atashipping, so be nice. I've done my best to check the grammar, but that has never been my strong point. Please tell me if you notice anything I can change. I'm sorry about not finishing the other story, life caught up to me, and I don't feel motivated to write for it. I might finish it one day if I get the time. I do hope you enjoy this :)"This isn't a few small grammar problems; this is thirty-five grammar problems in two paragraphs.
4440212 Thanks for the advise, i decided to move it to a different place, the reason it ended up there was a joint between not understanding how fimfiction works very well and putting it up at midnight, i am a bit rusty to how this kind of thing works. thanks for the advise and i hoped you enjoyed it so far :)
4440026 thank you for your kind words
i will be working on getting an editor and hopefully i will get one by the time chapter 2 is done, i hope your response to chapter 2 will be as positive as this one 
4439722 thank you! saying that you love my story defiantly makes me feel motivated to write the next story as well as possible,
i took your advice and went to the page you gave me, hopefully someone will be open to editing my story 
I thought spike was too wordy I couldn't hear his voice with those words. Other then that it's fine.
4448698 yeah, looking over it there are a couple of sentences that don't sound like spike. i'll try harder for the next time he's in. but thanks for the comment, constructive criticism is always welcome, and greatly needed
This is genius! And genius must be continued!
4456290 Awww! i
you. thanks so much for that, i hope my next chapter can live up to your love 
"but I haven't talked with you much resiliently."
Probably mean "recently" instead.
"Was their ever a stallion I liked"
Should be "there" as "their" is used to show ownership as in "They ate their food".
This chapter hits so close to home. thanks for the feels.
4457516 Thanks, those changes have now been made. until i get an editor these little things are very much needed
i hope you still liked this new chapter
4457711
thanks, it's really nice to hear positive things about the story when a couple of hours earlier i was slamming my head into my keyboard and moaning "Why can't i be better at the writing of the things" 
I'm loving this chapter as much as I loved the last one, the interactions in this story seem very accurate to the show. Also, I know in my last comment I said that maybe I shouldn't be the best choice of an editor, maybe not even a good choice, :P, but if you want someone to just go over spelling and some grammar I'd be more than willing to help with that until you find someone who is actually good at editing.
You have a tendency to off and on forget capitals for names both first and last. Otherwise a by the book story.
4459260 if you add anything to help i'd really appreciate it. If you want to go over the first two chapters and gramma and spell check them, and then send them to me, i'd be very grateful until i get an editor.
Ahhhh this is the cuteist thing ever!! best picture Ive found th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/092/4/8/sciencetist_pinkie_and_twilight_by_doggie999-d4urbfp.jpg
SO cute!
4556010 AWWW!
i mean i'm manly yeah cool that didn't make me do puppy face i'm far to cool for that...
Just as the chapters before, I really like where this story is going, but the one extra character that shows up when Pinkie is feeling down confused me. I know in your author's note it talks about it, but couldn't you have used someone who maybe could tie into the story a little bit better, is this pony going to show up again or is he just a one time thing? Other than that confusion as I've said, I really do like this story so far and where it's heading.
Hmm... I'm guessing... RD?
4582292 yeah sorry about that, I did look at all the characters in the show and looked for one that would make sense in for this but i couldn't so i just chose the best out of two bad's. He's not going to be in the rest of the story and i don't see anything that could happen in where the story is going were i will need to use just a random character, hopefully it didn't bring the chapter down to much
4583473
Oh no it didn't bring down the chapter all that much, I was just a bit confused that's all, and now that you gotten an editor I don't see any grammatical problems with my untrained eyes! Also, don't judge me, I totally slept last night and it definitely isn't five in the morning XD.
this is so sad
I wanna cry. Hopefully it will turnout for the better if twliy and pinkie get together! But what will there family think?
Great so far :)
4584551 I'm happy you liked it
and i am a sucker for happy endings especially when it comes to these kind of stories
*Royal voice* WE DEMAND MORE OF THIS STORY OR ELSE YOU SHALL PERISH!!!!!
This story deserves 5 moustaches
A TwiPie I haven't fav'd? Well, there's others, but I seemed to have missed this one.
Hoping to see more!
awesome!! Thank goodness Fluttershy didn't hate her. How could flutteryshy hate anyone?
It so cute so far :)
Why would she think Fluttershy would be homophobic?
I only read one on this site and she was just confused in a comedy fic.
4715299 thank you for your supportive words. I'm glad you enjoyed it
Yeah i couldn't bring myself to have Fluttershy be at all homophobic
Buck, where the buck is the next bucking chapter. Buck you!
I need Twinkie pie. NOW.
please?
4911709 yeah sorry but the next chapter might be a while, don't worry it will come and i will finish this fic even if it kills me but i'm very busy at the moment.
hope the next chapter is worth the wait
4913635 death to you and your way with words DEATH!
Speaking of which I'm doing some writing of my own what's you number one trick for writing Twipie?
4923687 well i can give give you a warning, pinkie pie is unbelievably hard to to write
as far as advice, get an editor who can put up with you and make sure your always having fun, if you don't enjoy writing it people won't enjoy reading it
4928039 I'm always looking for a challenge, and there aren't enough twinkie fics out there, plus it's the cutest. Yes, it is.
. Do you have any WRITING techniques that you want to share?
4929506 sorry writing techniques are hard to explain, you really need to find something that suits you and best fulfils what you are trying to compel. not much help at all but you know
I NEED MORE
Nicely done, Poor Spikey left in the dust and Twipie /Twinkie looking for answers that the Dragon can only stutter or offer to deaf ears and hearts,
Are we ? 
Could be. Sure 
This is an awesome story! Do you know when the next chapter might come out?
6037141 this story is cancelled now by the way
6093102 Thanks for letting me know.
6093133 your welcome
6093139
6093133
yeah sorry about that, hope you enjoyed what's there of it.
if you want any information on why i have a blog post explaining why it was cancelled