1. Member Since 26th Oct, 2011
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In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Featured In8

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Twilight discovers the true purpose for the Canterlot Royal gardens, much to Princess Celestia's annoyance. Knowing her student will seek answers with or without her permission, the Princess gives Twilight a new subject to study, the story of five of the garden's occupants, their connection to Nightmare Moon, and the dark days of the War of Night.

Warning: Comments are encouraged, but spoilers are present in the comments.

Fic is currently undergoing a very slow revision.  Revised chapters will have a (R) in the title.

Revised chapters that have not had a editor go over them yet will have a [E]

I've also added chapter numbers for a bit more ease of navigation. Mostly on my part.

Tags: Action, Historical, Sad, Humor, Roller Coaster, Violence, Singing, Some Romance

Part 2 is here.


WOOOT featured on Jan 5th 2015 at 2:47 am,  4 years after it's initial publishing!

First Published
1st Nov 2011
Last Modified
18th Aug 2016

I very much liked this story. and would be very happy to see any sort of extension on this.

I liked the story but its "bearer" not "barer", that irked me a fair amount.

The concept is good and the story is compelling, but the punctuation and formatting are atrocious. It's not just the marked absence of commas and apostrophes throughout much of the text. I'm talking about things as basic as not putting spaces between the last word of a sentence and the period. As basic as only putting one space between words.

At the moment, this story is a diamond in the rough: It's crude and lumpy, but with a little more work, it could really shine.

I liked this story a lot actually and wouldn't mind seeing something done with the characters that are mentioned, if not a new chapter then a pre story going into there stories as the task force would be kind of neat actually.

Time heals all wounds, and this is certainly a story i will keep tabs on. (I saw the same comic on equestria daily btw it was a right good laugh) The main thing you should focus on is the grammer try getting someone to look over what you type would be a good idea, but all in all it's a powerful story even with the errors.

This is a great fix, I am happy to see you extend on it. I'm impatiently wAting for more

another good chapter, much better grammar this time around, and it was much easier to read. I enjoy this story and am definatly gonna keep tabs on it :twilightsmile: I like the further picture this paints of the spirit of generosity, and the dialog between the characters had me laughing on a few occasions. ^^

Comic is Garden Party: Petrified by PumpkinHipHop on DA

loved the drill Sargent! again the characters continue to amuse me good work :pinkiehappy:

I imagined every one of the drill seargent's line in R Lee Ermy's voice!

Very happy to see you continuing this, and i wish for more!

It seems the Royal Canterlot Voice was mildly annoying even back when it was common place. I must admit this story gets more interesting with each chapter. I can't wait to see how it continues.


I would suggest adding a carrige return or two somewhere in that bit of run on rambling.  Looking forward to the next chapter.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I wanna go to the Pinkie Pie fun fair! :pinkiehappy:

That was a pretty good story based off a comic that truly terrified me.

However, the lack of commas in phrases like "if not for Jer'rahd for all five of them" is a severe detriment to the tone. Just put those in and the story will get a LOT better.

i can probably pre read for you just message me k

"Costello: I don't know".

Right before the first use of a bold Third Base.

Loving the story so far.  Next chapter should be interesting, I predict chaos and tragedy.  :pinkiecrazy:

Elder Scrolls reference :rainbowlaugh:

hahahahaha yay its the whos on first base skit i loved doen that skit when i worked at a boy scout camp in CO.

Some letter mixups ill just go and fix those when i go thru your stoy on google docs.

Miiiight wanna trim the "Who's on first?" sketch. It detracts from the narrative flow.

This was awesome, but it really could use a bit of editing. I'd love to see what it'd look like with those errors patched up.

When refering to a military officer, "Sir" or "Ma'am" should be capitalized.  The last portion needs some general cleaning up, ex: you're instead of your, comma placement.  Good use of apples, provides better visualization of the dimensions of things.  Looking forward to reading more!

Chapter 1 is in need of some serious editing. Double spaces between words, spaces on both sides of periods, etc. Other than that this is a great story...just needs a little spacebar quality control.

I want to read this. But the only thing stopping me is the 168,000 words! and each chapter is a story in itself. It will be read, but very slowly...

oh man dude shit just got real...

can't wait to see how they scrape together being elements after their failures...

ah well deus ex machina i guess

This story is incredibly epic.  I want to complain about it being a short chapter, but a short chapter for you is still multiple times longer than many others'.  I don't know how you do it, but don't stop!

...Or Fluttershy could take a stroll thru Poison Joke and get a job singing soul music somewhere. :D

:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:evil laugh:trollestia:

first and foremost, lol references!!!


can't wait to see luna "the godess of freaking kicking ass and taking names" trying to be a respectable diplomat

(yeha because politicians are alwayyyyys respectable)


>>96469  Not sure how to feel about that. I tried to make it accessable, but ive got enough ideas that it continues to get bigger. last few chapters were shorter though.

>>96641  the god in the machine is not needed for that. Granted Celestia did only call them the bearers. She also called them that before she even sent them after the elements. Memories are a tricky thing sometimes.

>>102900  Intrestingly enough i do a once or twice over after writeing every chapter. I try to gremmar check myself[i suck at that] but most often i see things that need to have more explination. or a hole filled and i do it. even time i edit i wind up with another few thousand words added.

>>113122 blues singer hehe

>>113185  everyone should practice an evil laugh, just in case.

>>113904  as i said before , a peril of being a Fred Perry fan. Well you do not have to wait long to see. This next bit is going to be split up over a couple of chapters. Simply because of the first place they are visiting giveing me so many evil ideas..... um i mean delightful ideas yes......


hehehehehehe i have a feeling frm that response and that there going to buffalo land that it'll end up being pancake related...

This first chapter was more than I expected. Reading about Rhede reminded me of Captain Jack Harkness. I congratulate you on this and I hope to see it on EqD sometime in the future!

#34 · 248w, 4d ago · 2 · · Sea Salt ·

how do you consistently manage to mingle humor, life and death situation and outright stupidity (moslty from rhede that guys craaazy) into this masterpiece??

i swear man this is one of the best fics i've read, definately in the top 5!

#35 · 248w, 4d ago · 1 · 1 · Sea Salt ·

There's some tense errors here, where the story switches between present tense and past tense... in the same paragraph.

#36 · 248w, 4d ago · · · Sea Salt ·

wow, bleu, your both suicidal AND insane taking lightning like that, i've only ever seen anyone do that safely a few times in videogames

#37 · 248w, 4d ago · · · Sea Salt ·

On finishing read through, I loved the references I knew would hit once I read the ship's name. The Kill Bill refs were nice too.

#39 · 248w, 3d ago · · · Sea Salt ·

>>114370  That is answered in chapter 18..... I never said they were going to be first just that that was the plan.

>>122554 ::Wiki's the name:: Hmm sort of.Though further along i don't think he will fit. Also keep in mind chapter one is just what Celestia remembers from 1k years before. memories fade.

>>127593 umm thank you

>>134966  Honestly  half the time i will admit to flying by the seat of my pants. Where i work gives me a great deal of time to think with no distractions[my work is fairly mindless and i go on auto piolet alot] I keep a note book with me and jot down anything that pops into my head. The rest of it is just conecting the dots between the ideas. then i just think how the chars would react to those ideas. and then well you get this story.

>>135304 yes i have been told i have a issue with the tenses as well as grammer. though i am working on that . seems i am much better in later chapters than  in the latest. So i am trying to work on that. Glad some one caught the kill bill. Honestly I put WAY to many Princess Bride refs in this one. Peril of watching the movie while I am trying to write. I tossed in A Little Prince ref as well. and I have no idea why.

>>135201 Bleu is based on D&D dragons [considering most dragons in the show are a mystery i thought this would be intresting] But just based on, there are things I plan to do with her that would make a DM go "no fraking way" Sufice to say nearly everything in this story has a purpose.

>>135737 :scootangel:

#40 · 248w, 2d ago · · · Sea Salt ·


The fact you had to wiki the name is a good sign.

Okay, a dash of Twilestia. I like where this is going.:pinkiehappy:



The best ships are

TwiLuna, Twilestia, Twixie and Moonlight



:twilightblush::heart:  ....

This site really needs some Luna and Nightmare Moon emotes.


It appears to be moving away from what I thought it would be. I can only hope that the romance tag is there because of shipping involving Twilight and one of the others I mentioned in my last comment.

let me guess thats what happenend to you after writing this

#44 · 248w, 10h ago · 1 · · Sea Salt ·

Another chapter with Jer getting the bajeebus smacked out of him.  Guy can't catch a break.  Maybe roles will reverse somewhat and Luna will become more protective of him, similar to the stance Jer was taking at the beginning of this chapter.  Probably one of the better chapters you've written so far, can't wait to see it continue.

and Luna won't open up to them at all!

great way to build a trust in youre "friends" Luna...

and catatonic jeh'rad is worst jeh'rad, althought i can see it after what those seaponies did to him...


>>140174 not sure why. unless it was just because that meant i never heard of him.

>>142759  The romance tag always shows up first on the tag list and it should be last, sorry this was not what you were expecting but the only romance so far is with OC's might have stuff in the future but that will be a while.

>>144934 FUS ROH yay.......

>>146446  Thank  you. There is quite a bit i have planed with all of them. Needless to say stuff will get intresting once the conflict begins.

>>147710 hard to open up when everyone you know and love has grown old and died around you or simply been killed while you can do little more than watch. Likely that would scar anyone. I have plans to build on this  keep in mind really most of them have been more business like than actualy friends save in small parts. Luna does not want to open up because shes found that brings pain. The rest realize this are still trying and putting up with it. Though in Rhede's case its mostly for Jer'rahd's sake that he puts up with her. The pair have sort of a rarity applejack dislike for one another and it takes another pony to get them to deal well with each other.

Honestly the sea pony thing was a spur of the moment deal. I had a whole other set of missons for them and then the idea hit me and i ran with it. well this is the result.

>>149568 that chapter was mostly there for a few people who claimed the story was predictable and they knew what was going to happen, that and the idea amused me greatly.:scootangel:

"a group sent out to bolster troop moral." It's "morale", not "moral". "Moral" involves a code of ethical conduct. "Morale" is how happy people are.

What the heck is a duresseven? I've never heard of the word, and I can't find it in any dictionaries.

#50 · 246w, 6d ago · 1 · · Imperial Mass ·

Knights! I bid you welcome to your new home! Let us ride to CANTERLOT!

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