1. Member Since 26th Oct, 2011
  2. offline for 4h, 23m

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Featured In8

  • ...

Twilight discovers the true purpose for the Canterlot Royal gardens, much to Princess Celestia's annoyance. Knowing her student will seek answers with or without her permission, the Princess gives Twilight a new subject to study, the story of five of the garden's occupants, their connection to Nightmare Moon, and the dark days of the War of Night.

Warning: Comments are encouraged, but spoilers are present in the comments.

Fic is currently undergoing a very slow revision.  Revised chapters will have a (R) in the title.

Revised chapters that have not had a editor go over them yet will have a [E]

I've also added chapter numbers for a bit more ease of navigation. Mostly on my part.

Tags: Action, Historical, Sad, Humor, Roller Coaster, Violence, Singing, Some Romance

Part 2 is here.


WOOOT featured on Jan 5th 2015 at 2:47 am,  4 years after it's initial publishing!

First Published
1st Nov 2011
Last Modified
7th Aug 2015

I very much liked this story. and would be very happy to see any sort of extension on this.

I liked the story but its "bearer" not "barer", that irked me a fair amount.

The concept is good and the story is compelling, but the punctuation and formatting are atrocious. It's not just the marked absence of commas and apostrophes throughout much of the text. I'm talking about things as basic as not putting spaces between the last word of a sentence and the period. As basic as only putting one space between words.

At the moment, this story is a diamond in the rough: It's crude and lumpy, but with a little more work, it could really shine.

I liked this story a lot actually and wouldn't mind seeing something done with the characters that are mentioned, if not a new chapter then a pre story going into there stories as the task force would be kind of neat actually.

Time heals all wounds, and this is certainly a story i will keep tabs on. (I saw the same comic on equestria daily btw it was a right good laugh) The main thing you should focus on is the grammer try getting someone to look over what you type would be a good idea, but all in all it's a powerful story even with the errors.

This is a great fix, I am happy to see you extend on it. I'm impatiently wAting for more

another good chapter, much better grammar this time around, and it was much easier to read. I enjoy this story and am definatly gonna keep tabs on it :twilightsmile: I like the further picture this paints of the spirit of generosity, and the dialog between the characters had me laughing on a few occasions. ^^

Comic is Garden Party: Petrified by PumpkinHipHop on DA

loved the drill Sargent! again the characters continue to amuse me good work :pinkiehappy:

I imagined every one of the drill seargent's line in R Lee Ermy's voice!

Very happy to see you continuing this, and i wish for more!

It seems the Royal Canterlot Voice was mildly annoying even back when it was common place. I must admit this story gets more interesting with each chapter. I can't wait to see how it continues.


I would suggest adding a carrige return or two somewhere in that bit of run on rambling.  Looking forward to the next chapter.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I wanna go to the Pinkie Pie fun fair! :pinkiehappy:

That was a pretty good story based off a comic that truly terrified me.

However, the lack of commas in phrases like "if not for Jer'rahd for all five of them" is a severe detriment to the tone. Just put those in and the story will get a LOT better.

i can probably pre read for you just message me k

"Costello: I don't know".

Right before the first use of a bold Third Base.

Loving the story so far.  Next chapter should be interesting, I predict chaos and tragedy.  :pinkiecrazy:

Elder Scrolls reference :rainbowlaugh:

hahahahaha yay its the whos on first base skit i loved doen that skit when i worked at a boy scout camp in CO.

Some letter mixups ill just go and fix those when i go thru your stoy on google docs.

Miiiight wanna trim the "Who's on first?" sketch. It detracts from the narrative flow.

This was awesome, but it really could use a bit of editing. I'd love to see what it'd look like with those errors patched up.

When refering to a military officer, "Sir" or "Ma'am" should be capitalized.  The last portion needs some general cleaning up, ex: you're instead of your, comma placement.  Good use of apples, provides better visualization of the dimensions of things.  Looking forward to reading more!

Chapter 1 is in need of some serious editing. Double spaces between words, spaces on both sides of periods, etc. Other than that this is a great story...just needs a little spacebar quality control.

Pinkie's twist of "someone is going to die" is a bit...odd. Surprising since the story focuses primarily on the previous element bearers. Interested, but slightly concerned where that plot line will go. Really loved the rest of this chapter, Gala related shenanigans were the best. Curious if Nocturne will have a role in the future of this story?

Also, judging by the pacing it seems you have a lot of story left to go. This story is going to be ridiculously huge by the end.

2 things, 1. who stole most of the comma's? and 2. that sounds like a unpleasant part of pinkie's pinkie sense

and of course the gala turned out to be fun for all :rainbowlaugh:

Ha "doctor who?" awesome. I think i laughed harder in this chapter than in most any other fic I've read to date

At the Gala (Ancient Remix)

That was downright hilarious. The fact that it's apparently a spell of Celestia's that cause it makes it awesome. The duel was great. Lord Coin apparently needs to learn who he is talking to before doing something stupid...like talking to them for the most part.

my god man! you...this...i....

-hands over the key to my internet and my wallet-

these belongs to  you  now my sir

Very enjoyable chapter. I look forward to seeing how you resolve Pinkie Pie's prediction as to date you have kept the story close to what could be considered cannon.  Speaking of cannon, I do enjoy how you weave the episodes into the continuity as they are released.


>>76099   The whole thing is going to be redone as soon as i manage to slow down the writing. or have time.

>>76158  >>76529   Sooner or later I am going to reach a point where  I can no longer follow the canon episodes. I have already begun a bit of a veer now. I was a little worried on how hearths warming would effect the head canon I have in play. It doesn't.

>>76175  I doudt i shall reach the lofty heights of FO:E, but yeah it will be big. specialy since i set out to make 13 a "short " chapter. and its currently the longest

>>76267 I toss a great many things in. a peril of being a Fred Perry fan.

>>76336  The Gala thing was in my head for a while , Coins thing just sort of popped into my head. The idea is that Jer'rahd was only a memorable pony due to his blade and cutie mark was the point i was throwing out. of course with the rant at the end  that likely will no longer be the case.

>>76346   i did'nt think I was this good, go ahead and keep them. I'll hold out for God of Rock status of women throwing me their underwear.

Bit of warning . Next ones the holiday special.

Wow that ending....

Plus a doctor whooves reference, you have out done your self:pinkiehappy:

Wait what?

What the hell happened to Nocturne!?  the Niece prank is pulled on Celestia and that's it? she's never heard from again?

also you really should proof read to get read of the many mistakes in vocabulary and grammar.

but in the end still something i'll read and track

You, my dear author - have earned yourself yet another loyal reader.  DO WANT MORE! :flutterrage:

ok brilliant simply brilliant. favorite part the dual i wish i could have seen that.

I was laughing like a maniac... then the Pinkie part happened. Mood Whiplash in it's finest.

Another update so soon?  You're crazy.  Also, is her name really "Maw Pelt" or did you you mean "Ma Pelt"?  She's an old battleaxe so I can kind of understand how Maw would be a play on words.  

Wow...This story just keeps getting more and more interesting. Geez last story that was able to pull me in like this was the Wheel of Time books. The bit with Scarlet was just down right mean though. If not for bad luck Jer'rahd would have no luck in relationships. Luna going ballistic on the Order for what happened to Jer'rahd was kinda understandable. Eternal goddess finally makes a new friend after who knows how long since last one was killed and then some Order of jerks decides this one needs to be killed for their own gains. Yeah...I think they got off easy compared to what she could really do to them.

The Pelt family is awesome. I had to admit I wasn't expecting Lucy and Linus until I read the names and it hit me before reading a few lines down and seeing their last name mentioned. Luna and Beuford's meeting was hilarious.

Pinkie Pie has a Critical Fail in cooking. Even with a 1 in 20 chance of it happening it had to happen eventually.

wow....so uhm.... Luna hacked life and godmoded on those order people.... and jeh'rad almsot died.

His girlfriend was a prick and a spy, and the afermentioned prick/spy is now eternally on fire...

from this episode i have gained/lost

-respect for luna +100 -

-fear for pissing Luna off +9001 -

-empathy for characters +9001 -

-hatred for scarlet +100 -

-liking for scarlet and "order people" -10000 -

“Some pony will now face my wrath, no one interrupts my bath.!!” oo scary, lol

saw 1-2+ references in there, 1 being final fantasy with biggs and wedge, can't help but think mustang refers to fullmetal alchemist too though that could be a coincidence


>> Gomegadon    Yes

>> Tyr Remora   in the same chapter when Luna is napping it is refrenced that Celestia took Nocturne to the Garden. And yeah i am trying to work on my grammar and such.

>> MatsuriDream ask and ye shall receive chapter 14 up now

>> Anon E Moose MuWHAHAHAHAHAHA , needs to be a mood swing tag i think

>> Balancer   .... my hands .... they can touch everything but themselves....... oh .... wait....

>> MaxVive   It is Maw, there's a bit of a southern draw on the end i was trying to get across, and I did say in the blog i would have another post up By  the 25 , just in time for the holiday

>> Royal Brisk   I was really hoping that some one would get the Vanpelt joke in there,  What was done brings about the question of which is punishment is worse. Death.which ends the suffering  but removes  any chance of forgiveness. Or being turned to stone, which would think is all suffering but the chance of redemption may come.

>>84556  woot a point system

>>84557  At the start General Mustang was indeed a FMA ref but then he was in place of Colonel Claymore. Then i realized it was a pony pun I promoted him to General and Claymore got the villian spot.

>>84557 Biggs and Wedge were two of the pilots from Star Wars: A New Hope.

Biggs was Luke's friend from Tatooine and didn't make it, Wedge lived through all three movies and became the leader of Rogue Squadron.

Love the name choices, always amusing to recognize them.

Oh this was the perfect Christmas present, thank you so much.  Spending my holiday sitting at work, so this was better than any gift I could unwrap.

and new best pony is drunk luna!

cant wait to see where this is heading :P

Astonishing work!

If you do not consider it spoilers, would you please tell me whether or not you plan on expanding the story (Side stories, continuing the main story, etc.) after Twilight and her friends give their opinions to Luna?

Login or register to comment