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Twilight discovers the true purpose for the Canterlot Royal gardens, much to Princess Celestia's annoyance. Knowing her student will seek answers with or without her permission, the Princess gives Twilight a new subject to study, the story of five of the garden's occupants, their connection to Nightmare Moon, and the dark days of the War of Night.

Warning: Comments are encouraged, but spoilers are present in the comments.

Fic is currently undergoing a very slow revision.  Revised chapters will have a (R) in the title.

I've also added chapter numbers for a bit more ease of navigation. Mostly on my part.

Tags: Action, Historical, Sad, Humor, Roller Coaster, Violence, Singing, Some Romance

Part 2 is here.

First Published
1st Nov 2011
Last Modified
27th Dec 2012

I very much liked this story. and would be very happy to see any sort of extension on this.

I liked the story but its "bearer" not "barer", that irked me a fair amount.

The concept is good and the story is compelling, but the punctuation and formatting are atrocious. It's not just the marked absence of commas and apostrophes throughout much of the text. I'm talking about things as basic as not putting spaces between the last word of a sentence and the period. As basic as only putting one space between words.

At the moment, this story is a diamond in the rough: It's crude and lumpy, but with a little more work, it could really shine.

I liked this story a lot actually and wouldn't mind seeing something done with the characters that are mentioned, if not a new chapter then a pre story going into there stories as the task force would be kind of neat actually.

Time heals all wounds, and this is certainly a story i will keep tabs on. (I saw the same comic on equestria daily btw it was a right good laugh) The main thing you should focus on is the grammer try getting someone to look over what you type would be a good idea, but all in all it's a powerful story even with the errors.

This is a great fix, I am happy to see you extend on it. I'm impatiently wAting for more

another good chapter, much better grammar this time around, and it was much easier to read. I enjoy this story and am definatly gonna keep tabs on it :twilightsmile: I like the further picture this paints of the spirit of generosity, and the dialog between the characters had me laughing on a few occasions. ^^

Comic is Garden Party: Petrified by PumpkinHipHop on DA

loved the drill Sargent! again the characters continue to amuse me good work :pinkiehappy:

I imagined every one of the drill seargent's line in R Lee Ermy's voice!

Very happy to see you continuing this, and i wish for more!

It seems the Royal Canterlot Voice was mildly annoying even back when it was common place. I must admit this story gets more interesting with each chapter. I can't wait to see how it continues.


I would suggest adding a carrige return or two somewhere in that bit of run on rambling.  Looking forward to the next chapter.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I wanna go to the Pinkie Pie fun fair! :pinkiehappy:

That was a pretty good story based off a comic that truly terrified me.

However, the lack of commas in phrases like "if not for Jer'rahd for all five of them" is a severe detriment to the tone. Just put those in and the story will get a LOT better.

i can probably pre read for you just message me k

"Costello: I don't know".

Right before the first use of a bold Third Base.

Loving the story so far.  Next chapter should be interesting, I predict chaos and tragedy.  :pinkiecrazy:

Elder Scrolls reference :rainbowlaugh:

Bah, expected what happened, and it was still sad to read.  :pinkiesad2:  Hopefully the next chapter will have happier moments.

hahahahaha yay its the whos on first base skit i loved doen that skit when i worked at a boy scout camp in CO.

Some letter mixups ill just go and fix those when i go thru your stoy on google docs.

arrrrghh y i like platinum yd you kill her grrrrr:flutterrage::twilightangry2::raritycry:

anyways good stroy bro

a sad chapter but a good one, not every love song gets a happy ending, but to see vinyl and octavia is a bit of a treat ^^ still a good story keep up the good work.

Miiiight wanna trim the "Who's on first?" sketch. It detracts from the narrative flow.


Ok answer consolidation time.

>>18676   done.

>>36936  I considered that and it does but  with the dark happenstance something distracting and funny was needed.

>>36794 sorry she was orginoly going to be the classic stuck up singer type. but she would have lived then. Half way through writeing that i was like.  thats been done to death and opted  to change her to the way she is now.

>>36691 I hate being predictable but this chapter had to happen.

>>36164 I refrence alot of things  the main one I put in was a metal gear solid refrence at the wedding.

>>18679 >>18730  >>19781  >>30153   Currently have it being preread and repaired  though i likely will not fix anything here until i hit a block of some kind or finish the story. I am rideing a rather prolific wave of ideas and wish to keep hammering things out until that wave breaks.

>>20587>>20629 I used to be in the army  if i used everything that i was hit with chapter 3 would have been longer than 7

For all the readers thanks  and I will continue this. I will say however please refrain from spoiling too much in the comments. even if its a clear thing coming.

This was awesome, but it really could use a bit of editing. I'd love to see what it'd look like with those errors patched up.

Well I can see how these 5 were the Elements of their time for sure now. I have to admit I'm rather curious to know how the Elements got lost after the battle with Discord.

I'd really love to see a pic made of Bleu and Jer'rahd and their faces when they ended up scaring Rhede, Starfall, and Velkorn before visiting good old Colonel Claymore.



Honestly I would not mind if any one drew any of them. I plan to make a few blind bag mods as soon as I can get my hands on the new set that has male ponies.

You can't spell laughter without slaughter, :pinkiecrazy: something tells me that dragon will be all right. these characters are interesting still loving the story.

When refering to a military officer, "Sir" or "Ma'am" should be capitalized.  The last portion needs some general cleaning up, ex: you're instead of your, comma placement.  Good use of apples, provides better visualization of the dimensions of things.  Looking forward to reading more!

You're and your.  Y u no use correctly?  I'm only annoyed because the story is so good that it highlights where the basics slip.  Still looking forward to the next chapter!



Like I have said before. Its being reviewed and when i hit a block or get to a point it will be fully repaired useing the aid of people who know grammer better than i do.[likely everyone].   But I am currently running a groove now with chapters.  So until that subsides the grammer likely will not be that much corrected. I might pause a bit after 10 though to do it.

i love this story... and i may just have to try making that song, although i hope you don't mind it being sung by this colt, I do not know any female vocalists at the moment. :derpytongue2:


>>42214  the song exists. Cosmic love  by Florence and the machine.

cool there are some mistakes in there some you trip over and have read a couple of time to get what is said one I couldnt figuer out what you were tryen to say but still a good story looken forward to more.

#37 · 158w, 6d ago · · · Landslide ·

Twi-Hero and Twi-Lust = hilarity.

#38 · 158w, 6d ago · · · Landslide ·

Is it April?  This chapter almost feels like an April fools joke.  That said, the writing is still as good as always and the argument from Spike was nicely done.

#39 · 158w, 5d ago · 1 · · Landslide ·

oh lord, poor applejack lol

that has to be one of, if not the most chaotic of all bad (well maybe not particularly "bad" but still) spell effects ever known: personality division. that never ceases to cause mass chaos whether it results from magic or otherwise

that was awesome, it'd be even more awesome if i could see that kind of region in a game... maybe oblivion (or a mod for oblivion)? if the game could match the random physics of the region that is and the various creatures/effects

Oh the random references found going thru Discord's...countryside I guess. I wonder how many people really noticed. Ewoks, Bermuda Triangle, mist that invokes Rule 63, "half-centaurs", and a hentai monster. Apparently hentai exists in Equestria for someone to have seen enough of it to know what it was. I would guess that would have been Bleu that said it but not entirely sure.


Time again for comenters coments.

>>48490   was going to be Twi-clop to start with  but this one wound up to be a bit more amuseing of a name to me.

>>48509  more along the lines of i was in a weird mood  and had a few people complain that my work was predictable. Of course considering I told the whole story minus all the details in the first chapter i rather hope it is predictable. Well at least up to a point ::smirks:

>>49726   Some one had to do this old spell trick , might as well have been me.

>>60190 would have to be a rather impressive  mod.

>>62856 heheh correct on all of those. theres also nightmare before christmas, mario brothers, classic james bond,cerabus guarding hell, monty python and the holy grail, among others  thou thoose were the ones that hit in just chapter 12.  The comment was indeed by Bleu , I try to drop hints about who is speaking with  how they talk . sometimes its easy.

Rhede is the least formal  he calls Jer'rahd Jer.

Bleu calls Jer'rhad Boss  and Rhede usualy gets called some sort of pet name or flirt.

Velkorn either speaks in Rymes or language brackets.

Jer'rahdIs fairly formal  though he is about mid way between  and usualy makes the snarky comment or the one that sounds angry.

Starfall is the most formal of the five  not able to call Luna anything but Princess.

Luna is the one who seems to speak properly  among them all but is trying to be less formal but still calls them by rank other than name at times.

Hope that helps a little

Chapter 1 is in need of some serious editing. Double spaces between words, spaces on both sides of periods, etc. Other than that this is a great story...just needs a little spacebar quality control.

Pinkie's twist of "someone is going to die" is a bit...odd. Surprising since the story focuses primarily on the previous element bearers. Interested, but slightly concerned where that plot line will go. Really loved the rest of this chapter, Gala related shenanigans were the best. Curious if Nocturne will have a role in the future of this story?

Also, judging by the pacing it seems you have a lot of story left to go. This story is going to be ridiculously huge by the end.

2 things, 1. who stole most of the comma's? and 2. that sounds like a unpleasant part of pinkie's pinkie sense

and of course the gala turned out to be fun for all :rainbowlaugh:

Ha "doctor who?" awesome. I think i laughed harder in this chapter than in most any other fic I've read to date

At the Gala (Ancient Remix)

That was downright hilarious. The fact that it's apparently a spell of Celestia's that cause it makes it awesome. The duel was great. Lord Coin apparently needs to learn who he is talking to before doing something talking to them for the most part.

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