• Member Since 25th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 24th, 2019

Aleksander


T

During the red invasion of Finland, a lightly equipped sniper is sent to the land of Equestria by unknown means and is hunted down by the locals. He does the first thing that he was told to do if he was separated from the army, head east and regroup with the 61st Infantry Regiment.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 72 )

I like the point of view and the open-ended plot line.
Didn't see any other writing mistakes besides letters being missing but that shit happens so no biggy.

my great-grandfather Thor fought in the winter war and the continuation war, and his brother Bror fought in the final year of the continuation war, both survivde :ajbemused: but Thor died in 2011 he was 92 :fluttercry: but Bror is stil alive :twilightsmile:

I think you meant Sergeant at the end there :-)

Will this be continued?

4432988
Of course it will be. I just have a lot of stuff going on hence summer is nearing, so it may be slow.

This story isn't loved enough. I demand more.

This shows a lot of promise, keep up the good work:twilightsmile:

What exactly does the Finnish mean?

Comment posted by Fireheart 1945 deleted May 23rd, 2014
Comment posted by Aleksander deleted May 23rd, 2014

4428746

What? You deleted your own comment, so I couldn't see it. I deleted my own because, due to a glitch with my mouse, I end up double posting somehow.

Comment posted by Fireheart 1945 deleted May 23rd, 2014

4436796
My apologize, my internet connection wasn't doing too well. Finnish is plural for those who recide in Finland

4436870

Well, there was a sentence in the language of Finland that I couldn't understand. Could you please translate it for me?

When I see "Finnish Sniper", I'm reminded of the best sniper ever...
Simo Hayha

The idea sounds interesting, but the execution is... lacking. A lot.
The pacing is way too fast, the scene transitions are pretty shoddy ("Five hours later" in particular) and there's grammar errors in the first wall of text paragraph (Russian's what?)

I like this, so I'm glad your continuing

4437144 Dude is a fuckin' legend.

4436971

It's finnish, but it doesn't really mean anything. He must have meant something like, "Ette (plural) koskaan saa minua kiinni" or possibly "Et (singular) koskaan saa minua kiinni", if the comment was addressed at Steel, specifically. It translates to, "You'll never catch me".

As it is now, it translates roughly to, "You (singular) never me catch".

4436971

"Et koskaan minua kiinni."

It means: You will never catch me. (It should be written: "Et saa koskaan minua kiinni." If he meant the pony he was talking to, or: "Ette saa koskaan minua kiinni." If he meant their entire race.

4439604
4439858

Ah. Thank you both. :ajsmug: Still, even irregular Finnish is better than none.

4437308
+1. This thing is wrong in so many ways.
Ok, I can accept that just throwing human in Equestria without any kind of reasoning why and how he got there is just a part of elaborate plot device (and I certainly don't miss 3248328th retelling of "anon walked in forest, stumbled across rock and gets in Equestria" story). But killing two ponies without any obvious reason? The story takes no time explaining why he have done that, no build-up, so reader just can't relate to character? Should I hate protagonist? Should I pity him? Or maybe should I adore him?
Also:

He was as angry as he was confused as to why he was awoken but he came to his sense when he heard a continuous noise in the background, standing out against the ambient rain. He quietly took his rifle out of the protective shade of his now drenched greatcoat, and crouched, looking around for any signs of movement. He was shaking from the cold, and tried adjusting his sight to the darkness. After a few seconds he couldn't hear anything, and was about to go back to sleeping and shrug it off as some wild animal, but before he did so there was a flash of lightning. The split second flash instantly illuminated the whole area, and he saw what he was first expecting, two white ponies in golden armor. He raised his SVT slowly up to his shoulder and pointed the muzzle in the direction where he last saw his two pursuers.

:facehoof:

4430162 Damn. I wish I was related to the god of thunder.

4441760
Are you sure the generic human number 2,571,432 protagonist isn't a girl? It wasn't too clear...

Nice read, but I would have liked more if the story slowed down a bit, it's way to fast paced and I didn't really get a grip on the snipers situation.

All and all, get your self a proof reader and slow down the story, I see that this fic's got potential :twilightsmile:

4444067
4443196
I appreciate the criticism, although if the story isn't that perfect for you then I don't know what to tell you. I am currently writing this whenever I have some free time and I don't care to make it a masterpiece for I'm not a professional writer nor is English my first language. I don't think someone should expect so much for a random story that's written for fun

4444356 No hard feelings, but by sharing story publicly you made it eligible target for criticism :raritywink:
And it's nothing wrong with being inexperienced and writing for fun, but writing without trying to understand why some stories work while others fail so miserably - it seems kind of pointless.

A Winter War HiE fic... my sir my family heritage calls to me!
I swear though this is the last thing I expected to see on this site.
Is this the same sniper that was hit by a mortar shell and lived? or was that a different sniper from a different war...

4444973 I know more than a little about the Winter War; Talvisota, in Finnish. For the Russians... to say it was terrible is the biggest understatement. They were freezing to death en masse. Their tanks were of almost no use, and frequently got fried from Molotov Cocktails (the Finns in vented the weapon proper in this war; the name was opposed to "Molotov's Breadbaskets", the Finnish nickname for bombs dropped by Soviet planes). To top it all off, the Soviets had a system where Commisars overrode generals and officers who knew better, shooting them (or worse, having them arrested; believe me, you'd be lucky just to be sent to a gulag) if they opposed their orders. It was a cluster-fail by the Russians, and only Russian numbers and new training "won" the war.

4447624
I wish I knew more, but sadly the closest 100% born in Finland relative was my great-grand parents. My grandfather is 100% Finnish, but born in America.

4444567
I understand completely, I'm glad we're on the same page :twilightsmile:

4447995 Hopefully, I was able to create a background for you to go on. :twilightsmile:

4448117
Well I have read multiple books and watched 1 or 2 documentaries on the topic. So I do know some details of the war. Also the good sir known as White Death by the Russians. He fits on the top 10 bad asses to ever live list.

Very nice, a man of war in a strange place. The only thing he know is they are searching for him. So the only reasonable thing to do is murder or who knows what this strange creatures are capable of. He has a different language than the other so there has to be a missunderstanding.
Is he going to survive? Or the ponies will hunt him down? Maybe they will understand their differences but that's not the most possible resotution since he already murdered two innocent. :derpytongue2:
Interesting.

Not bad, not bad at all. Greetings from Finland! :twilightsmile: Suvi is a woman's name, by the way.

Jos suonette nyt anteeksi, mie lähen kävelemmää sinne torille päin...

Well this is interesting concept. I'll keep looking how the story evolves. Oh, and before I go, if you need any help getting sentences translated to Finnish, I'll be more than glad to help. I know this is no biggie for most readers but as a Finn, I could help you get sentences right.

"Et koskaan minua kiinni" should be "Ette koskaan saa minua kiinni" and Suvi is a girls name, so you could change his name to Teppo, Timo, Tapani or something like that.

Killing the guards was completely unnecessary and stupid. He should have just let them pass on by like, well, just about any sniper of the 20th century. The story has already established that he can easily avoid the two, so killing them is just wasting ammo and giving his position away.

The story premise is clearly spelled out in the description, but the text itself does little to expound upon that or flesh the characters out. At the end of the first chapter, ignoring the description, all that we know is that this bloke who fooled Russians is being tracked by ponies and decides to kill two of them to ensure that instead of being passed off as the ramblings of a crazy person he'll be certain to have the entire Royal Guard baring down on him. We don't know who the main character is, what his goals are, or what his personality is. (Indeed, we know more about the ponies who are killed than the main character.) These characters come off as walking plot devices, and that's not good.

A sniper that simply loves to kill for the sake of killing? A case of I don't know what they are... kill it...

4478166 Probably worried that they were trying to take him prisoner, a legitimate worry, though I agree the killing was unnecessary.

Comment posted by Rutter deleted Jul 9th, 2014
Comment posted by Rutter deleted Aug 30th, 2014

4667605 go and play some video games

4478166 finnish soldier buddy

I have a deep respect for the fins greetings from sweden

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT! YOU WILL UPLOAD ANOTHER CHAPTER OR I WILL FILL YOUR HOUSE WITH CARBON MONOXIDE! :twilightangry2:

4927701 Don't do that. Cover the author with melted cheese and put rats in the same room.:pinkiecrazy:

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