Well now this is an interesting idea and might I say quite the intriguing story :) Good work and look forward to the next entry.

"His voice was shaky and out of practice. His throat was sandpaper."

I don't know why, but that bugs me.

"They walked on in silence."

ned spac under ett

"awoken by his"

You hit enter accidentally?

"He sounded better, though, Ben thought."

One too many comma?

Thats all I noticed, can't wait to read more!

By the way, it's hard to notice errors when you're into the story.

sounds interesting i must track with my friendship cannon!

>>406724406724

Thanks a lot, everything you mentioned has been fixed Except "awoken by his", which seems to be a formatting issue as it doesn't show up in the editor, it looks fine.

like this story and will track it but at the end of the first part silver should have said "the world is moving on." and can u give me a link to the original story? i loved the dark tower books so if these are based off of it i will likely enjoy reading.

>>409225409225 I don't really understand your request; which original story do you mean?

it said this was an extensive epilouge to equestria:book one so i assumed there was a story before it...

>>415733415733 Ahhhh, no, sorry. Equestria refers to the show and the current universe

ooooohhhhh thanks for the clarification.

short but worth it

Hooray!!! another chapter!

ooo excitement :D what shall happen is what we will see! (yes that made no sense -.-) Nice story and looking forward to the next chapter

this need more views i just love it

Ah, The Dark Tower... I've read some of it, though it has been a while. Should try reading it again...

Regardless, this pulls of an atmosphere that I love, and have tried myself but can never really seem to get right. Surreal, post-apoc, and, well, I want to use the word "quiet" for whatever reason. There are many things that still need to be explained, but I don't really mind. I'm confident that all will be revealed in good time...

Okay, this has forced me to read The Dark Tower

I just hope it's half as good as this

What am I saying, it's a King novel!

Great read so far, I can't wait to read more :D

This has definitely influenced me enough to read some of of King's work. This is such a great read and needs more attention. I only spotted on mistake I think "after than tiny town" should be "after that tiny town". Apart from that great job, I hope you continue with this ^^

Ok, you have my attention

This is really cool. I haven't read Equestria: Book One (if it's actually a thing?), but I really enjoyed this. Looking forwards to seeing more of it.

>>448398448398

It's not an actual thing Extensive Epilogue to Equestria is the title of the whole series

>>449371449371

Ah, I see. Well then, I look forwards to seeing what brought things to this point.

Ooooh, this is really interesting so far!

One thing though: Unless this desert is magically unique in some way, deserts actually get REALLY cold at night because there's no cloud covering to insulate them. Building a fire or huddling for warmth would be essential to avoid risking freezing to death.