...That was... Epic.

Looking forward to more, very well written and a joy to read.

Heh, it's very cool how you can totally tell who some of the regular casts ancestors are.

Poor Fortis though, he's just trying to get trough this and live his life, and then Trollestia totally calls him on his bluff

“I’ve always liked helping people. Please, I’m really not that special.”

I don't know if you care for pony-speak. If you do; perhaps you should change "people" to "others".

I look forward to seeing more of Howard's viewpoint.

You know, you could probably get more constructive criticism and more readers on Equestria Daily. Have you tried sending it in to there? I bet they would accept it.

>>2081620816

Sent off!

I wonder how Pinkie reacts if one of her squadron-mates are KIA I don't think the federation wants to find out!

I'm rooting for the Federation.

>>2377123771

So am I, the ponies kind of brought it upon themselves for conquering all the other races.

>>2378723787

Exactly, the ponies are dicks.

I´m all for bringing down Empires, never liked monarchy, autocracy and all that crap, But I think hunting down survivors like that is absolutely uncalled for and Steiner is probably laying much time and more resources to waste just to start another war. History teaches where that leads...

>>2380823808

The only way to assure victory is to eliminate the enemy.

Still, gunning down the helpless enemy like that is uncalled for. Allowing a controlled (very controlled) way for them to repay their past sins is a better idea.

After reading this fic, I have to say. Wait. Just wait.

The oppressive galactic tyrant... creates the elements of harmony? LOL.

>>2402324023

To guarantee total victory, all of your enemies must be dead; not lightly mauled, not mostly dead, dead. There can be no mercy, otherwise they can rise again to challenge you.

>>2407324073

Which is why I said 'very controlled'. If they became a problem, they'd be easily eliminated.

>>2408124081

No mercy means kill them. If they are alive, they can work against you.

Love this story so far, but how and why was this war started in the first place?

P.S. is that a Orson Card reference i spy in there with that carriers' ship name?

>>2409624096

The war was started because the Emperor was pretty much an asshole and oppressed every other alien race. Understandably, they rose up and fought back, winning.

Do you mind giving us some technical specifications on the ships and the technology of this universe? Size of ships, type of directed energy weaponry, what kind of kinetic projectiles etc. I can't get enough of the science fiction fluff in this story, very intriguing and worth developing further.

Hey I take offense to all this anti-empire/monarchy stuff! I mean come on how can you not love the ROMAN EMPIRE IN SPAAAACE! (With ponies!)

Gotta say, I'm really rooting for the Federation here too. There's simply no way to guarantee that the Equestrians will be anything other than the oppressive all-consuming autocracy they've been the last 400+ years, and I seriously doubt the Feds are willing to risk the lives of every being in the galaxy on the slim chance that they won't come back in a thousand years to wipe out all life in the universe. And we all know that's what running through their heads too, especially since every pony they've come across has been utterly fanatical to the point of self-annihilation. When Equestria Prime was being attacked they didn't try to surrender, they didn't try to make peace, they just fought and died until their planet was destroyed. That's a memory that'll stay with the people of the Federation for a long time, right alongside the memories of more than 400 years of war, oppression, and slavery.

>>2408524085

Where, exactly, are you grabbing this doctrine of killing everybody on the other side, if I may ask?

And what do you mean by 'total victory'? Fulfilling all your goals/objectives in a war? Okay, completely annihilating the other side might work for that but i'm pretty sure just breaking the enemy's will/reason to fight is just as effective and twice as fast for that.

For the record, I'm neutral for the time being.

HOLY FUCK!!! I JUST ENDED AND EPIC MUSIC STARTED PLAYING

THIS NEEDS TO CONTINUE FOREVER!!!1

IMMA PRINT THIS OUT AND GIVE IT TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY DID THIS END!

>>2417124171

Thats exactly what I was thinking. The Federation can't be sure that the surviving ponies won't come back with a bigger and stronger force in the future to get revenge and conquer everything again.

this is so good... im not even able to understand how awsome this is

HOLY SHIT SHES GONNA GO CUPCAKES ON THERE ASSES!

>>2418424184

That's why I keep saying 'very controlled'. They keep a CONSTANT watch over them. They wouldn't have a chance to assemble any kind of army before a fell swoop would end them.

>>2417224172

No doctrine, just simple logic.  If your enemy is dead, he can't do anything to you. By total victory I mean that your enemy will never be in a position to make war against you again.

>>2431024310

A determined enemy can circumvent any surveillance. Just look to Nazi Germany. Hitler build an army under Europe's nose.

Best story ever. Pinkie Pie probably read this, and is like: and is like

>>2437624376

Now I see where you're coming from.

Though all kinds of arms-limitation treaties and such do exist for that purpose. The Nazi Germany was kind of a special case where everybody knew they were breaking the treaty but nobody really did anything to it.

Not sure how viable treaties would be for those ponies, though, as they seem to be fanatic to the point of never surrendering, even the civilians. That would understandably limit the possibility of diplomacy somewhat.

It'll be interesting to see how this story turns out.

Yeah, WW2 was a one off. Nobody figured they'd try it again, but they did. And in all honesty, we owe everything we have today because of that war. But that's another subject entirely.

Keeping the ponies on a single planet with ships watching over them at all times would be a much easier thing to pull off. Limit their space capabilities so they can't secretly build any form of counter attack. Then if they tried anything, nuke em from orbit (think in terms of glassing a planet like in Halo).

Saying all that, I am glad that for once Humanity are not the 'asshole bad guy' like in pretty much all other Ponies/Humans fics

>>2445924459

Expect the concept of morality to get twisted like a pretzel. The distinction between good guy and bad guy is going to get really, really twisted and blurred.

>>2446824468

I want see how you pull that off then. It's been made really clear that the Federation did what they had to do for the greater good. The ponies were essentially the Nazi's of the galaxy, and needed to be put down. Chasing down the final remnants and destroying them completely is not something I'd agree with, but still justified after 400 years of bloody war.

>>2448024480

Friendship is magic, and this concept hasn't been discovered just yet.

>>2448024480

And that is where I figured you'd go. Any news on when the next chapter will be up? :P

Hum. An interesting idea, most certainly - although I am unsure of your decision to include Pinkie Pie. In fact, I can only think of two possible reasons for her presence well over a thousand years before the show. Either bearers of the Elements are granted optional immortality - or her disdain for basic laws of physics extends to those of the space-time continuum.

Regardless, I look forward to seeing what you decide to do with this story.

I understand the Federations rationalization and honestly i'd probably do the same. The ponies are zealots and they did enslave a good portion of the galaxy for a LONG TIME , which speaks of both their capability as warriors and the effectiveness of their society and likely their belief system. In the ponies position i'd probably turn piracy into part of the culture with government sanctioned pirates running brutal operations away from the home fleet ( you know disable all communication devices, slaughter every nonpony on the sight, steal all the fuel, food, ammo, utilities[machinery including robots], and ships they can, destroy anything they can't carry or don't want, and warp out before the Federation can respond ) which would not only garner supplies for the trip but  would cripple the Federations economy, demoralize them (especially the civilians and the recently freed) , and shake the confidence in the Federation of any allies or citizens (potential and current). I'd make them regret rising up against the empire and forcing us to abandon, the homeworld, sacrifice the emperor ( and much of my population ), and leave behind essentially all the remained of my civilization, to save the shattered remnants of my species

Eventually after regaining sufficient might I'd start hitting isolated planets and taking slaves, testing new tactics and leaving a few traumatized survivors to spread fear as a precursor to the eventual return of the Solar Empire. If you fell victim to one of my raids you'd be lucky if you died in the assault, extra lucky in the opening bombardment, and absolutely screwed and oh so very unlcky if you survived. I came up with this thinking of what I would do in their situation

>>2465824658

What makes you think you could pull all that off? You couldn't keep warping all the time, as it seems you'd have to vent off the warp drives every now and then while orbiting planets. It would be a matter of time before you'd be found. Also, if the Federates are any smart they'd have both escorts and (secretly) armed cargoships in every trade line (though maybe counting on smarts of a faction that bayonet charges when reliable ranged weaponry exists isn't a great idea either). Good luck trying to pirate that without losses.

Those plans wouldn't work. The Federation - and humans - aren't stupid. They've already found the Ark, which made a blind jump into hyperspace. The ponies number less than 50k, and humanity controls the galaxy. If you tried anything that would alert them to your return (and not in a nice, surrender type way), your ass would be grass within days.

You asked for constructive criticism. So let me give you this. Your chapter three has a very serious problem with the opening conversation. You have built up the narrative as the ponies being an evil empire, and going out and conquering. That's fine, the problem is that they then turn around and, in the conversation, act like like a bunch of to-good-to-live refugees. First, there's the objection to harming civilians, no empire managed conquest by being squirmish about hurting civilians (and you should really put less emphasis on art, and more on propaganda, Fallout Equestria does 'wartime Rarity' right). But the later objection, Apple Bucks, to taking food, is even more silly. They just had a massive war, are nearly on the edge of starving, have little other choice, and they are worried about taking food without paying for it. Again, this doesn't make me think 'last survivors of an evil empire' it makes me think 'to-dumb-to-live'. The debate shouldn't be between 'steal or not steal' but 'steal or steal, and burn everything to the ground and kill them'.

It's a shame, because the narrative you seem to want is interesting. It's got a lot of moral question, the ponies were wrong, but now they only have a few refugees. Is it right to kill them for what they did, and what they might do, or can they find a better way. But in order to tell that narrative you to establish both sides of the argument. The 'let them live' side is already established for you, readers know Equestria turns out peaceful, so that potential is there. Therefore the part of the argument you have to focus on is why they are dangerous and should be pursued, by showing how their culture has transformed them into a bloodthirsty and nasty race who abuses others. Not only does this give a real moral weight to both sides of the argument, but it allows a richer story later as we are allowed to see them grow and change.

>>2478824788

I'll take that under consideration for later chapters, thank you.

What I really wanted to achieve is to show that there were dissenting voices and that the Imperium was never a fully cohesive, hive mind style organization. That war was caused by hawks in the military and government, not by civilians and your average pony. Think WWII Japan.

>>2480124801

Except that WWII Japan was a fully cohesive hive mind style organization, with a government completely controlled by the military and a civilian populace so fanatical they slaughtered their own families in cold blood rather than live in American-occupied territory. Believe me, if those atomic bombs hadn't gone off and shocked the government into surrendering there would not have been a thing left alive on the Japanese isles (and half the US military would be dead, incidentally). The Equestrians in this fic though, they didn't even flinch at their planet being bombed into dust from orbit and actually blew it up themselves, so . . . Wow, congratulations, you've created a civilization even more fanatical than Imperial Japan, I didn't think that was possible.

That's not a slight against your writing at all though. It just means that, as Clockworkchaos said, you're going to have to portray the equines as being more evil. Right now the ponies seem . . . naive, extraordinarily naive, and they need to come off as the evil empire.

By contrast, the Feds need to come off as having an all-consuming fear and hatred of equine. As far as they're concerned the ponies are the ones who raped, and murdered, and pillaged, and enslaved, and oppressed them for more then four centuries. In other words, they're the bogeyman in the closest, the rioters in the street, the bear in the tent, the pebble in the shoe, the loaded gun to the face, the circling shark, the knock at the door in the middle of the night, and everything else to the Federation. Because of that they will hunt the equine to the farthest corners of the universe and kill them, because at the end of the day they're scared out of their wits of ponies, and it's that fear that will drive them to do terrible things.

. . . Wow, been a while since I've rambled on about a fic like that. I suppose that's another natch in your corner, sir.

Didn't Celestria and Luna design the Ark? Why is she gob-smacked at the sight of the hangar bay?

Cool preview to battle looks like its going to be a nasty nasty fight coming up, looking forward to seeing how things play out.

>>2498524985

Luna did that shit. She's the academic one, after all.

>>2499424994

And the more powerful one and the more level headed one ... but at least Celestria is pretty and everyone likes her ...

>>2480124801

Cody has the long and short of it. Remember, the Japanese civilians were fanatical enough to kill themselves rather than be occupied by the Americans. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Okinawa#Mass_suicides

Now yes, that was because they were given propaganda that they would be raped/killed, but still that same propaganda should be also given to the ponie's. The trick, the ultimate trick, is that you have to consider that, in the society you seem to want to depict, each pony should have been taught from birth that they are the superior race, other races aren't worthy, to either be used or exterminated. They are barbarians, orcs, sub-pony. Anything is permissible to them, as they are lesser. And given that those other races just nearly  genocided them they should feel vindicated in this belief.

It's not wrong to have them question it, but it is wrong to have high ranking people publicity question it. Dictators, of any stripe, do not last long by having people question their policies. The peace factor, of WWII era Japan were a peace faction in the sense of 'we lost, we will all be wiped out if we don't surrender' not in the sense of actually objecting to the idea of a Japanese empire or wanting peace when they were winning. Anyone like that had lost power long ago. Rarity-ancestor is going to be the pony behind half this propaganda, so she shouldn't be too nice (for a really, really good example of how war can make people take terrible decisions, without being terrible people, got to recommend fallout Equestria).

So as I said, the debate should be between those who are practical, and those who want to fight more. Take their stuff, vs take their stuff and kill them. So military is in favor of taking their stuff and orbital bombardment. Rarity-ancestor object to raiding, not because it's wrong, but because it's beneath them, the should be conquerors, not mere pirates. Twilight-ancestor wants the planets food, but only, only because it's the largest source of food (conveys won't have enough to sustain them), she only want to avoid orbital bombardment because they can't replenish ammunition, not out of kindness. The Applejack-ancestor, could object to stealing, but again not out of kindness, but because stealing is beneath the great pony civilization. She doesn't object to occupying them and taking tribute, however. Ironically this plan is utterly unviable, it will cause mass civilian deaths (pony occupiers is bad enough, just having their civ wiped out... yeah), waste ammo and time, and more importantly, delay the fleet as the have to properly occupy the world, which is almost certainty going to give their pursuers time to catch them.

That said, there can be those who want peace, or have other problems, but they should say it outloud. No one should at first. The entire story should be about them coming to that conclusion.

Also, when dealing with the humans, give them dissonant voices as well. Having them only represented with genocide makes them less powerful. But keep in mind what Cody said about how to handle them, he's absolutely right.

>>2504525045

Those are really good ideas.

I'll give it a rewrite and see if I can't make this story better.

you guys said it to a t. i dont even have to suggest anything now.

Everything said above was perfect, and I agree with them fully.

Although the bit about the ponies raping the feds just made me feel weird (in a bad way)

The sad thing about this fic, is that we know that the equestrians survive.

Seriously, when will you add Discord? i really see him as a Q like being taking a interest in the remaining Alicorn species. and to make sure that they don't get destroy too soon decides to even the playing field abit.

>>2548625486

Wait and see.

>>2536725367 Okay, Stop it. Sad thing? Yeah, it would be sad, If that really happened. Maybe they did not, and the humans turned themselves into Ponies, somehow!

>>2536725367

Sad? It is sad that someone survived to become a better species? Is your hated so strong for an imaginary species that you condemn to death all within it, even those who are not past the age of maturity? Or done so as a result of propaganda and culture and orders? Are you sad that Germany and Japan are not glass parking lots?

>>2555825558

I'm fairly sure you can/could have found people from concentration camps who are/were sad because Germany wasn't turned into a glass parking lot (figuratively speaking, of course). Might not be that big of a stretch to include Japan.

That's what the Federation has essentially suffered, perhaps with a different time-scale. Hundreds of years of slavery, pillage, rape, mass murders and other horrors tends to color your views against the aggressor. So in the context of the story, ponies surviving could be called a sad thing. Really, it depends on your POV.

>>2559425594

But you, and no one else reading this story was*. I don't have an issue with, in story.the federation wanting to kill them. What I have a problem with is, people out of story, who know they are redeemable, wanting them dead as some sort of twisted revenge. That's psycotic.

*Furthermore being understandable doesn't make it right. If a concentration camp survivor wanted Germany glassed I would understand, but not agree. If they think that children and innocents should die for the crimes of others, then fuck them.

dude this is just to good for words. reminds me of enders game (never read it but my friend talks about it)

talk about a deal with the devil....

...Discord!?

Hell to the yes!

>>2555825558

You're take my comments way to seriously. I'm just playing devil's advocate here. Don't you know your internet rules? Rule 396.2: There has to be a devils advocate in every thread. If this was a thread about the sun rising tomorrow, there has to be some one to explain to the sheeple that the rising sun is a myth perpetrated by the liberal media (at the behest of the shadow government of course), that the sun only sets, and that it only sets at the headquarters of the Illuminate (which is run by the Elders of Zion).

Also rule 218.8: Every thing on the Internet is satire.

>>2550825508

You sir, do your name proud.  I have no idea what you just said.

Huh.

I'm sensing a 40K influence in the original imperium, a Battlestar Galactica influence on the fleet, and the lucky guy is based at least somewhat on Ciaphas Cain.

Cool.

I also feel those influences Sithking! But to my earlier point what several of you want is to basicly have an empire destroyed completly for no reason other than hating emperors (I assume its the media teaching you that all empires are evil or something). But seriously what your suggesting is that after the BARBARIANS defeated an collapsing Roman Empire to kill all of them because they wanted to bring them civilization, industry, medicine, technology, security, and a slightly better life. Why? From what I can tell the Ponies arn't any worse if not better than the Federation in every sense of the word. Also no they are not Nazi's or Japenese Imperial's I would say the closet analogy would be Roman or Ottoman Empire: corrupt and self-important at times, but not monsters.

Just out of curiosity, what is something that is the main influence on the Human civilization/military, an example of something that gave you an idea... Or hell, maybe you just came up with an idea all on your own (In which case you receive bonus points of originality)!

(Also keep up the good work, very entertaining story you got going here!)

>>2709127091

My influences were battlestar galactica and warhammer. The federation and the aliens within it are original creations though, and I tried to make everything as original as possible. Except for Fortis, who resembles some kind of pony ciaphas cain.

Ok, so it's Battlestar Galactica meets Homeworld ( I see a lot of parallels between HW and your story) meets MLP:FiM... I'm sold.

Awaiting more!

>>2723527235

Ok, I kinda thought of BSG when I was reading the story, but from now when I'm reading about a Human endeavor, I'll project the mental image of them being either Imperial Guard or Colonial Marines...

OMG EPIC

OMG EPIC

DANG

ME GUSTA

11

MOAR!

Yes, "MOAR" indeed...

for some odd reason i expect the astroid to revael discord i am not sure but plz make the next post quick i really wanna know what happens now!

>>2662026620

I'm sorry, I wasn't aware claiming Devil's advocate meant that people weren't allowed to point out how stupid your comments are.

Wow shining you forgot that he could already read minds, heh. this is great (So this is how i assume when they reach new home planet celestia and luna are stuck in cryostasis as the ponies move on (Completely forgetting technology) when windigo attack founding the nation when discord arrive he broke the cryostasis on the two alicorns as he begins running amok.

Wonder how you will introduce dragons.

Interesting, truly good.

I am going to need art for the Barathi and the Funhar, as well as an explanation for the difference between ponies and horses... Though I think I can guess. Still, I require an explanation.

EDIT: OMG THIS IS THE BEST FIC EVAR LAWLALWALWALWA

>>120675120675 EDIT: Funahr

That ****ing son of a bitch. Rest in peace Federal Fleet, rest in peace.

I would've liked an armistice, however, I am far more loyal to my species than I am to bronydom.

>>121250121250 amen... I totally wished for human victory, with maybe some pony stragglers.

>>121706121706

Don't think that the federation is just giving up.

>>121706121706 <--- That

Keep up the good work

Me? I was hoping to have discord (while probing the minds of the Federals on the ships) find the presence of Jovians and get really pissed.

Yup, that's Discord alright.

Hrm.... Operatives huh? SUH-WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!

Idk why but I shed manly tears to the prologue wow add a sad tag?

I have to say, kindah feel bad for the ninth fleet crew

>>132450132450 I have to agree. Remember, they are mostly your species anyway.... Unless you're a wizard.

Image: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/235/195/6e2.gif

>>158949158949

Image: http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/218/881/gordon-wizard.jpg

Woo! Another chapter at last! And I haven't even read it yet!

Really good Chapter!

Yikes, the equines are assholes.

This story needs more views man. Really, this stuff is golden.

Great chapter, I keep dreading the Human's eventual ultimate defeat (In the grand scheme of things not just on Tranquility) though... perhaps they could tie?

One thing I just realized: this story reminds me a heck of a lot of Star Control. A Federation/Alliance of Free Galactic States/Stars against a very powerful and slaving empire-ish species, with humans essentially as the stalemate-resolver and the main charachter(s) flying a humongous ship with a few support vessels while being the last hope of his/their species? Granted, things don't go exactly similarly afterwards, since the equines don't win, but still rather similar.

This story is great. Reminds me of a mixture of battlestar galatica and warhammer 40k. 3 of my favourite things in one story!

just wondering, is this going to update at all?