Twilight has been defeated and now no pony can stand in Tirek's way.
Thankfully, He-Man is no pony!
Stay in school, kids!
A collaboration with RainbowBob. He is handsome. But not as handsome as He-Man.
Chapters (1)
Blueshift
Joined 30th Dec, 2011 ·
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May Grayskull take mercy on your soul.
4390657
Good thing I don't have one!
I have the horse wooooooords!
He-Mane
I cannot stop laughing. This is why I follow you blueshift. This is why.
I'm starting to think that was Batros in the library after all, and He-Man™ just ripped his face off, which probably explains a lot about how He-Man™ always seemed to wind up fighting Skeletor. "I have defeated you!" (gurgle) "Um. Can we get another Skeletor in here please? And a mop?"
4390696
Surely not!
It was totally Skeletor in disguise!
Totally!
Actually, it's more like twenty-four.
Ooooh.
And lastly...
Yeah... too late.
4390753
Hmm, thinking about it, it should be 25, as they opened it in the second part. Good catch!
4390769
Keep in mind they also don't even get it until the second part of the season opener two-parter.
4390772
Logic, my enemy!
4390777
AND EVEN THEN IT WAS ONLY AT THE END OF THE EPISODE.
SO 23.
4390782
But they open it at the end of the last ep, so it all equals out. Yeah. That's it.
4390786
tooouuucchheeeee...
Wait....
You can't combine Hasbro and Mattel products!
You, madmen! You'll destroy us all!
Whelp, that was gloriously insane
But in a good way.
4390947
That is what my psychiatrist says!
Oh boy.
Meh! I prefer 2003 He-Man, much more manly.
The world is not ready for such glory.
This fic requires the necessary musical accompaniment:
Now try to get that out of your head! MUWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Ehh, I'm not certain that really was Skeletor.
However, this was simply amazing! More feels than My Little Dashie, more gore than Cupcakes, and more romantic than Learning ABCs.
Give my regards to the illustrious RainbowBob.
And here's the standard 30 shillings for you, Blueshift.
Your paycheck will be in the mail, aside from the new Alicorn Discord action figure.
NO REFUNDS!
4391147 capable, compitant not to mention that he makes being a furry panty crossdresser work for him since he has a MUCH better chance with Tella
Instafaved after reading this line.
Win.
I totally lost it at the aesop - that was priceless!
Which, coming after the glorious
BatrosSkeletor incident, is quite an achievement...I can't tell if this was a really funny fic or a really accurate retelling of an actual He-Man ep. Thumbs up for the FUNNY.
Well, that was certainly a thing that happened. Also, when He-Man changes back, will he be Princess Prince Adam?
/snort,
Is this He-Man or Mr. T? I can hardly tell but then again it hardly matters.
... hardly,
4391414 the outfit reminds me of. Conan, or that one show about the Barbarian with the light sword, Thundarr I believ
4391775
Fun fact: the people behind Conan did indeed try to sue Mattel on the premise that He-man was ripping off Conan.
4391262 Challenge accepted and stakes raised.
4391911
How? Aside from both being roided up fantasy heroes, how the hell does that work?
You had me at the cover picture.
I lol’d like a bitch. c whut i did thar? Fave’d.
One quibble:
Tirek was what‐ing closer? By leaving out a verb you’ve left it as an implicit growing. You should shoehorn something like “struck” between “Tirek” and “closer”. (This is literally the only thing I could find to gripe about. Your work is amazing.)
Apart from that I’d also add a “™” after each “He‐Man” (or each unique entity from that I.P.) because it makes it funnier, but that’s probably just me. (Fuck it, I’ll edit them into my local copy.)
4392038
Of course you realize . . . this means war
Love the epic guitar solo incorporating the movie theme, BTW. Nice find!
And since I didn't say so before, this was a very fun and nostalgic little piece of insanity. Thank you very much for unleashing the new Princess of Power upon Equestria.
And always remember, stay in drugs, eat your school, and don't do vegetables!
4392256 That was awesome. I mean I like Erock but I don't think he can top an orchestral version of that particular song.
just....
can't...
hold...laugh
....
DON'T DO DRUGS
i think i just broke a rib or two
Instant like just for concept. He-man crossover. The best idea ever has occurred. Oh and with Rainbow Bob? I never would have guessed.
4392089
Given the outcome of that particular lawsuit, it didn’t.
Still, it’s a bit strange to think about. I suspect many of us learned important life lessons from He-Man, and only realized many years later that some of them were irresponsible.
He-man the librarian!
4390805
¡When the 2 greatest crackficwriterswriters collaborate, the result is the greatest crackfic ever!
Fun fact: most medieval swords were actually relatively dull, especially with the development of plate armour. You would bludgeon your opponent to a point of exhaustion, then stab them in a vital spot with the pointy end.
Remember, kids: Learning is powerful, so stay in school!
4390669 Ah-HA! So you have sold it to be awesome at these fics!!
...Where do I sign up?
EDIT: This...was...glorious
Especially the satirical Scooby Doo reference with Batros 
Awwwww~...
4392089
He-Man was originally going to be a Conan toyline. Mattel chickened out when they realised that Conan was going to be an 18 rated film full of blood and guts so put their effort into making an original kid-friendly IP instead. The original proto of He-Man even had a horned helmet exactly like Conan's!
4392235
I think that's correct, it is an implicit growing, as in 'growing closer'.
That was fuckin' hilarious.
According to legend, Blueshift once wrote a serious story.
4400949
Yeah, but it’s ambiguous — from the way you worded it one can infer that either Tirek himself, his fists, and/or his magical blasts were growing closer. All were equally plausible possibilities and my brain ground to a halt trying to figure out what exactly happened there.