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Magic is bleeding out of Equestria and into another realm, a realm where magic does not exist. Twilight must stop the flow of magic before disaster strikes. Can the natives of this realm be of help? How do sapient beings function without magic anyway? What's this about a cartoon?
Takes place shortly after season four.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Interessting. This is promising.
I'm looking forward to the next chapters.
This is interesting.
5352432
5352412
I'm glad you like it! The next chapter is up now. I'm aiming for a new chapter each week going forward.
I await cool shit.
also,
5354019 Fixed.
This was awesome!
There are far too few fics about the implications of them finding out that they are from a cartoon.
Can't wait to read the next chapter
5377103
Yeah, that’s a pet peeve of mine too. The OC belatedly mentions the cartoon when he slips and reveals knowledge of the ponies one too many times, and the ponies’ reaction is always, like, “Oh, that explains it,” and it never comes up again. I think their reaction would be more like “what a massive invasion of our privacy!” or “how are you spying on us so effectively?” In this story I’m trying to keep it real, for some definition of “real” that includes talking technicolor ponies.
Feel free to speculate on what may happen next. I won’t confirm or deny anything, but I will pay attention. It can’t have much affect on future chapters, as most of the story has already been written—currently in rough draft form—but I can still tweak stuff if necessary, like when somepony unknowingly discovers an unpublished plot hole.
I plan on publishing the next chapter exactly one week after this one. I've already begun the process of editing the shit out of it.
5378029
Fantastic. I'll be waiting^^
Oh and btw. another story where they or at least Twilight knows that they are just a cartoon is (small spoiler ahead) http://www.fimfiction.net/story/111658/technicalities
Difference to you story is: It doesn't have a great effect on the story. At least up to now.
I like this. Can't wait for more!!!!
5402842
The next chapter shall be Physics Kindergarten. Unfortunately, it needs a bit more work than the earlier chapters, and with the holidays and all… I'll try to post it next week, but no promises.
How does everypony feel about physics lectures? I've seen stories that have gone overboard on the whole "explaining our world to Twilight" thing, and I'm trying hard to strike the right balance. I know better than to subject you all to a wall of expository text.
5406177 I am fine with a physics lecture to Twilight, but make sure to put a funny reaction in somewhere.
And suddenly, Steve and Meg recall the Conversion Bureau fanfiction. Bad reactions are had by all.
5429109
Those two are quite familiar with fan fiction, including the dark/grimdark genres. Though it will never be explicitly stated, due to a rule against meta-stories, they have been reading Fimfiction for years. Beyond that… spoilers.
God dangit Rainbow Dash! Now you've peaked my interest!
A very interesting story. I like it muchly, even if it's a bit forced in some spots.
Also ponies with realistic proportions = win.
5483304
I'll happily accept all compliments.
Could you give an example of something forced? There were a few scenes I struggled with, but it would be nice to confirm those were what you're thinking of.
Re realistic proportions: that’s part of keeping it “real.” I really don’t think cartoon proportions and ponies in the real world mix. Never mind the eyes, the heads are so large it’s a wonder they don’t tip over.
Hmmm... I thought you said they were aware of the darker aspects of the fandom? It seems odd that they were so willing to transform into ponies, though not impossible.
Overall, a minor complaint about an excellent chapter. While not too much actually happened action- wise, this obviously sets the stage for more of the plot. It feels like a smooth transition, and I gotta say, you did a good job with this.
5486074
Yes, they are aware, but that doesn’t mean they believe it to be “real.” First, the TV show most accurately describes Equestria. As for fanon, the key word was “consensus.” Fanon stories, for the most part, are all over the map. It is impossible for them to be all “real” because they contradict each other. The Lyra of Background Pony cannot be the Lyra of Anthropology. The dark stories have a way of contradicting everything else, since by definition awful things happen to canon characters that don’t happen to them in not-dark stories—or the TV show.
The way you deflected talking about scootaloo was brilliant.
5492378 It's bad writing for characters to be telling each other what they know the other already knows just so that the reader will also know
As you know, writing people in equestria is a very delicate thing. I'm sure you will do well and I can't wait to see what happens.
5496583 Next Friday, you'll find out with Transitions, part two. There is a reason this is a two parter, one that shall become obvious with the first sentence.
Hmm. Well, she's a programmer, so maybe her cutie mark represents the unification of concept/thought (programming and planning) and reality/action (the actual machines running the code to accomplish tasks)?
Just an idea.
Yanno, my comment on "forced" I think comes from the fact that Meg and Steve are kinda... bland. There's not much character development going on with them, not much viewing into their heads or motivations, really. I get they're kinda just placeholders for us crazier fans who actually would like to do these kinds of things (I admit I'm screwed in the head, okay?), but even so it would be nicer if they had more character, more development, rather than being empty shells like they kinda seem now. The whole "forced" aspect is really a matter of I'm just not feeling that their actions are sensible. Then I realized I don't really get their characters, because they have had very little of it so far to show us. It's hard to judge how a scene should go when I don't really have an idea who these people are.
Which seems odd. You've done some good characterization with the ponies, Twilight and Dash especially, but touching on the others as well. I do like the whole fact that they're really freaked out about the cartoon—part of me is going "but we just wanna be friends!" and the other part is going "yeah but think about how freaked out YOU'D be if large, embarrassing portions of your life were on public display for millions"—and reacting accordingly. Yet the two main human characters who seem like they should be the protagonists, or at least amongst them, are just... empty. Blank. Boring. Their actions and thoughts seem artificial, like they're being read from a script, rather than organic results of their internal thought processes.
I dunno. Just saying, it's mainly what's bugging me about the story. Also very different from how I write my own stories so maybe that's it. ...What, you don't emulate your characters in your head?
*Sigh* "Not everyone is crazy like you."
"Well maybe they should! Honestly, you're as bad as the flower trio sometimes, only less hysterical and more like Pinkie Pie."
"...Eh-heh. I guess I am starting to rant a bit, aren't I?"
"Well, it's certainly nice to be appreciated! Thank you."
No one asked, you, Twilight.
Why do I get the feeling that you're about to go Marvin on me?
A bit. But that's okay, you are "the only sane mare" in Ponyville, so it's kind of your thing to try and be sensible while the rest of us kind be nuts.
You're welcome.
See? Ya gotta be the characters. Although I'll admit there can be problems—
"I'm not one for profanity, but... I second the sentiment. What you're proposing, Lyra, is not feasible either through technology or magic... If magic existed in this reality, which it doesn't."
Lyra: "Get us out of this meat computer! I want to liiiiiive!"
....Dammit, Lyra.
Lyra: *Whimpers, gives begging eyes* "B-b-but—"
RIGHT. This has gone on long enough. Both of you to your rooms.
*Cough* Anyway, kinda like that, you need to have the characters be... well, characters. Display some quirks, foibles, affections, have them interact more than give reaction B to question A sort of thing.
Sorry, didn't mean to make this a rant or anything. Just trying to help in my own, f**ked up way.
5498382 The criticism isn't unfair. The canon ponies are much easier because I didn't have to create them.
Equivalent exchange
Matter conversion
Thermodynamics (possibly)
Newton's third law (possibly)
And others (I don't know them all cause me dumbcakes)
I really like this story. Keep going!
Interesting. Discord restoring the old Library has been one of my own ideas for a potential story, too.
The whole story is very promising and I can't wait to see more!
5515365
It does seem rather obvious to have Discord do this. I guess we’ll see if the show's writers think so too next season. I can think of a reason for them not to, though: to have Twilight deal with the permanent loss—in a way that’s instructive for the target audience, naturally.
5519934
Yes, that's what I'm thinking, as well.
Also, if she were to regain her library, what would the castle be for?
5520244
Oh, don’t worry, it shall be canon that the castle has “special” features. I take it you haven’t seen the season 5 animatic that Hasbro has released. Regardless, a princess needs a castle—at the very least, a castle play set—so it doesn’t really matter in that sense if the library is restored or not.
Here’s the animatic (spoilers!):
[youtube=6wq-SqFEhAQ]
5520689
No, I hadn't seen that yet. Thank you very much.
It's very promising. Can't wait for SE05
I´m surprised Celestia hasn´t bothered yet meeting the humans.
Fascinating. Another interesting and fun chapter.
5541957 Be patient
5542429 I'm trying
Nicely done. +1
The anti-fertility thing was a little tiny bit strange, but other than that the last two chapters have been very good.
...nice.
5588650 Finally! Someone picks up the reference
Are we sure that Steve's special talent isn't asking questions he shouldn't ask?
I can just imagine Steve's practice of telekinesis something along like this. It's a video by the European Space Agency.
Considering his special talent, and knowledge, is about gravity and gravitational waves. This would be an appropriate one.
I don't like it
Luna, twilight, discord are keeping secrets
I fear for my universe, discord had tried to enter in our universe and discovered that he couldn't, the story explain the How (with the mirror etc..) but the real question is ...Why? I have a bad feeling about this.
Steve's busted!
Trickster Celestia makes an appearance.
Ah, the Lyra thing. Be nice to see that explained.
So far, so interesting.
Fantastic new chapters, Sharp Quill.
Your changing of perspectives was done expertly and the way you slowly advanced the story through random events like the phone-call and it's unintentional revealing of Lyra's quirky personality was a perfect cliffhanger for the next chapter.
I'm sure this will be getting very interesting soon.
This story is very entertaining to read and I'm sucking it up like a sponge. I'm glad you continued it and I'm excitingly looking forward to the next chapters.
5601947
Wow. Looks like the ESA spent more on that promotional film than they did on the probe.
5621117
Meg and Steve aren't exactly volunteering everything they know either.
5623898
Twilight's kinda insisting it gets explained.
5624385
Thanks for the confirmation that I have a clue. It's been said that every good writer must first write a million words of garbage. I've written far fewer than a million words.
That phone conversation was rewritten several times over the last few months; the whole scene kept feeling phony and forced. I'm glad I finally got it right.
This story shall be completed. It's already mostly written, which is the only reason I can do weekly updates. Alas, I'm getting to the not-so-mostly written part, so two weeks between updates may become more frequent. But there is an ending; the epilog has already been written and serves to keep me on track.
Doesn't mean there won't be a sequel
5625462
Sequel! Wohoo!
Count me in for that^^
Oh and take your time if you feel like rewriting stuff. All good things take their time. I can be patient.
5625462
As she should! It'll be interesting to see just exactly what things are different from the show and the real ponies.
Poor Lyra... Well, your version of her. I hope she never finds out.
Aw man, why do binge reading sessions always seem to end right before something interesting
They'll go unnoticed by the locals and they have an easy way back? This doesn't sound very interesting.
I read most of this chapter. They were all being very calm and nonchalant about the whole thing, and stories just aren't interesting when things go smoothly. The story seems okay, I guess, but all the same there doesn't appear to be anything here to hold my attention.