Most Human-in-Equestria stories are all about those humans' new lives after they arrive, and it's a minor detail exactly how they got there. This, however, is all about the beginning, the story of how one pony fan made it happen and figured out how to successfully cross the divide between worlds.
(Wow, look at that, I actually finished one of those ideas I started a couple years ago. Probably would have worked better back then.)
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Well.... that was.... anti-climatic... maybe the mind got carried away, thinking you were there, but you weren't, wandered onto the road, and got hit by a truck.
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I wondered if anyone might suggest that possibility. Who knows, maybe that really is what happened.
But yes, anti-climactic is probably a good word for it. Have you ever sat on a joke for so long that you can't even tell if it's funny anymore? Yeah, kinda what happened here, and a bit of the reason why I took two years to finish writing it. Of course, that's not the entire point of the story, but at least a good chunk of it, setting it all up for a punchline of demolished expectations... I almost thought maybe I should add a Dark or Tragedy tag.
Anyway, thanks for the comment. I have no idea if I'll ever write anything again, so you could very well end up as both my very first and very last commenter ever.
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How on earth did that double-post from a single click? First time that's ever happened to me.
No idea how you double posted... but you should keep writing, I liked this short story, I just laughed at the end because of the sheer irony of it. It was a good read.
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Thanks, I'm glad you found the ironic ending funny, definitely how I was hoping people would see it.
Whether or not I ever write anything else depends on if I get an idea I like well enough to motivate me beyond just thinking about it. I'm terrible at trying to write dialogue, so I don't know. I had one other story I might have wanted to write, but it's too late for that one now. It would have been about Rainbow Dash exploring the Everfree ruins, excitedly leaping around corners and such, expecting to find all kinds of traps and treasures and secret passages, all the adventures like she'd read in Daring Do, but eventually realizing that life isn't quite like the fiction, and finding something else that made the trip worthwhile in a different way. But then Castlemane-ia and Daring Don't aired and... yeah. Oh well. Only a so-so idea anyway.
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You know, I don't think I actually knew there was a term for it before, but yeah, pretty much, and especially fitting due to the coincidental "dog" aspect. I did assume not everyone would find it funny, though.
That wasn't the only point, but it was probably the biggest one. As I recall, back when I first started trying to write this, two years ago, it seemed like every single HiE story I saw was about the person arriving in Ponyville and being accepted by them, and usually how perfect Equestria was. I have no problem with stories like that, and have enjoyed some, but I felt like doing sort of a parody of the theme anyway. A "What if the the person shows up and it goes completely wrong, because ponies don't want humans anywhere near them?" reversal.
Of course, that was a while ago, and I've seen plenty of other fics by now that did various versions of the human not being accepted when they get there, so that purpose for this story kinda faded over time. Plus I always think there ought to be more "bad end" type stories in general, not just with ponies. Almost every story has a happy ending, and those that don't usually revolve around the tragic/sad aspect. So few stories simply don't turn out well, so where's the suspense when you feel so safe assuming everything will always work out? Mostly, though, I just wanted to finally finish something, even if the reception was only mild.
Maybe there's three heads, one for each staircase? That's the interpretation I'm making.
There's a heck of a lot of "holy crap, it's Equestria" details packed into here. Ordinarily I would try to spread those out a little more, not put them so close together. For what you're doing here it makes sense, but the way they're presented feels kind of cramped.
Or! Ooh ooh ooh! Cerberus guards Tartarus, and the guy came through a door, and the door lead to Tartarus! Boom!
...Really unfortunate what that says about Earth, but eh.
(Maybe more like Tartarus is the idea which enabled him to get there? That doesn't seem like it would work...)
I think normal people normally don't look at the story numbers, to be honest. I know I don't, except for that one time when I dug up story #9999 because it was #9999.
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Yeah, I sorta intentionally overdid the basking in Equestria's glory, just for the sake of the ending. Too bad not everything lives up to first impressions and expectations. Or lets you live, in this case.
*Ding!* Exactly what I had in mind, and I was hoping it wasn't implied too vaguely. As soon as It's About Time aired, I started jokingly telling people that the Gates of Tartarus were secretly the portal to Earth, ponies' subtle way of telling humans to stay the hell away, and pretty quickly decided I could write a story about the idea. For a long time, though, all I could think of was the ending, and by the time I came up with the rest, Equestria Girls was introducing its own portal, so I went bleh and set it aside for a while. Then when I found out the season four finale was going to involve Tartarus, I knew it was my last chance, so I finally finished it, knowing however I described the gates and everything would be ruled wrong almost immediately afterward. Not that this ever really had much chance of being true.
Well, the story number itself doesn't matter, it was more just a general idea of how old this story really should have been.
Anyway, thanks for reading. I know it's no masterpiece, but I hope it was at least a little entertaining.