the adventures of Jeltz Embersparkler stormshadow Rainboomer on TRAAL!!!
My name is Jeltz embersparkler stormshadow rainboomer and i am best pony. I am verry humble but everybody (everyPONY lol!!!!!!!@!) is always telling me how great i am so i guess it must be true.
I was borned on the planet zacherle.
“you are named jeltz stormshadow! said my dad when i was borned. one day you will be a great hero and save everypony from the great evils in the universe and lots of women will love you and everything will be great.” (I didn;t get the rest of my name until I did some stuff later. this is called FORESHADOWING)
18 years later
I am now 18. I am tall and strong and i am both a unicorn and a pegasus so i am called a unicus by all my friends at both MAGIC SCHOOL and FLIGHT SHOOL.I am the only unicus in the world. I am the bestest flyer at flight school but I am the worstest at magic school. one day I was crying in the bathroom because nobody understood me when one of my hundreds of freinds came in.
“why are you crying”:
“because I can;t do magic very well and I want to be the best so I can be a hero and defeat the enemies!”
“i believe that one day you will be the best magic student here as well as you are the best flyer at flight school!” She was my girlfriend and also a unicus. she is the second best flyer and the best at magic. Then we had awesome SEX on the floor.
I put my thingie in her thingie and she said she wanted it so it was ok she was 18 too so everything was great and afterwards she told me how great it was.
Next day i came into school and I was really good at magic! everyone was so surprised even PUTZ who is both uterly wet and a weed and I hate him so much. he is also a unicus and he is third best at flying and second best at magic.
he was in clas and i sawed him tryin to do some xpriment or somethin andi said (what are you doin there?” and he sayed “ I am blowing up the town and the school and the world and the univrese!” and then he saw it was me who asked him and he got scared
“I didnt want you to know that!”
“I will stop you!!!! I said with growls.
I kicked him in the face and he flew up in the air and then i flew up to fight him. he shot MAGIC at me and the MAGIC maded hissing sounds as it rushed towards me I flew up high to dodge it and then I saw him getting more magic ready so I flew down a him. I went faster and faster. I was getting faster and faster and the light was goin strange colors and then BOOMMMMM!!
I made a sonic rainboom, andit blew Putz into smitheroons!
And from that day i was the best at magic because of the magic sonic rainboom and from that day i was Jeltz Embersparkler stormshadow Rainboomer !
Also, I had more SEX
YES! This is AMAZING! This NEEDED to happen! Thank You for posting it here, you wonderful, hoopy frood! I'd love to sass you sometime!
Edit: Anyone else? No? Okay then...
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Woopsidoodle, right on that.
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This is just too awsome.
It took me a moment to realize that Pinkie has five hooves in the cover art. Well played.
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Good day.
After reading it all.
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Good day.
...Is this?
VOGON FANFICTION!?!?!?!?!?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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Woo! It's up on here!
What's this?! A Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy/MLP crossover?! MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shed tears of joy for about a half hour before I get to read this.
This is a work of pure genius. Discord powering the Infinite Improbability Drive makes so much sense.
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Polished up, made more legible!
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Awesome !
Thanks for coming here
I, um, don't have gifs to express this, because there aren't gifs to express this. There isn't enough incoherent fangirl squeeing in the universe to express this. I have to use words.
This whole story so far is the best fanfic I have ever read in my life. This is near the top of the best fiction I've read in my life. I'm a huge fan of Adams (and Pratchett as well) and it's been a very long time since I've read anything as funny as this. I want more then a "like" button. I wish there was a "READ THIS NOW BECAUSE. . . JUST DO IT!" button.
I need more. Please. I would seriously pay for more of this fic. On the other hand, I'm left feeling that if you finish this fic it will mean the end of fanfiction, because no other fic will compare to it. (But, um, no pressure or anything. . . I'm shooting myself in the foot, aren't I?)
What I mean to say is amazing, excellent, incredible job, sir. Please don't stop.
Dear god what did I just read! My brain is melting I cna'skdt fenael itka ozoinds'algnka'kshbag/sgryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
trotterington thomas skip ova he sa helo grass helo trees helo flowers etc so i blast him with mi cosmic space magicBAZOOM PING ZAP etc.
Strangely enough, this is still not the worst I have ever read. It was a good attempt at being horrible, though.
MFW:
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Oh gods! whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!?!?
the pain!
the suffering!
I have received severe brain trauma from reading this.
i need a drink...
I think, after reading this, I might be able to finish some of my own stories. Purely on the grounds that nothing I write can ever be this beautifully bad. I think improbability is starting to get to me, as well.
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That's all I have to say.
i think ill do the smart thing and skip reading this chapter, i came here for Hitchhiker/pony shenanigans. Let the shenanigans continue!
Why... does this chapter exist...?
2678107It's supposed to be Vogon Jeltz's weaponized fanfiction.
Ow
*gags*
Oh God!!!!!
I think I'm gonna- *pukes*
Someone get me a Gargleblaster... And a book on grammar. And a dictionary. I must purge myself. Before it's too late.