I loved it. Very touching, realistic and well written :)

That made me cry.

What a beautiful story. Thank you for pointing it out to me, Midnight. Wow.

Still hope we get a 3rd chapter for this someday :)

This story is excellent.

I want to simultaneously hug you and whack you on the head for twisting my emotions like that, an excellent chapter and hope to see you come back to this in time

Well done.

Cute.

WTB update.

>>212417212417

Quite apart from having the dubious honour of this being my one Jossed fanfic (Caramel is straight? say it ain't so!), I only have so many hours I can write in.

This is on hiatus - not complete (though tentatively so) - and I will have to come back to it another time.

I'm glad you enjoyed it though, it's one of my older works and something I'm still relatively proud of for being somewhat off the wall and different.

>>212454212454

oooh, quick reply.

It was rather lovely, and with a little.. ehe, humanization, this story could be used as an inspirational tale for the LGBT youth community, especially for the poor transgirls who suffer so.

I've a transman friend who suffers less than me, because I'm homo and he's bisexual, but transgender. M2F is very frowned upon, but F2M is accepted because for the most part, not a huge difference.

This world confuses me, and I went of on a tangent. Oh dear.

Good story anyway.

>>212494212494

Well, I happened to be... in the area, so to speak.

If this story helped you or him (I apologize if I get the genders wrong here), then that makes me glad. I don't know if it needs humanization, though I admit pastel-coloured ponies wouldn't be the first thing to enter the minds of the generic LGBT youth. I know how bitchy things can get, anyway, so I guess it may not something that would be freely read, either, which is sad.

>>212503212503

Yeah.

What? Help? No. My friend only likes Cupcakes, but otherwise hates MLP (IKR!?!? ) and yeah, biologically is female, but the school has to call him.. HIM. Teachers can get suspended if they don't and he legally changed his name to a male name, too.

So you got that as right as anyone has a hope of.. getting it right? I guess.

I don't need help either, really, just saying this story has huge potential for help if it gets humanized, so I might start working on that. I'll credit you with it, if you want, after I drop it off with my local LGBT youth support group. You could be famous! In Australia!

Lots of LGBT bronies, not suprisingly, but I know none besides myself.

Anyhow, I might start humanizing that story tomorrow. Hmm.

OH MY GOD.

S2 Epp17 dictates that GIRLFRIEND is the correct  term, not Marefriend.

EVERY SHIPPING FIC ON THIS SITE IS WRONG. IGJWUGFY ROQ VETFQVQ

*brain explosion.*

>>212519212519

If he thinks he's a he, I have no problem with that.

If you want to take that story and humanize it, go ahead!

>>212592212592

I just might..

Hmmm. Could be interesting, and yeah. He is a he, for all non-biological intents and purposes. Not legally, yet ,but male name and teachers have to refer to him as he, as I've said, so it's a start.

Huh, there's more to this?

I thought it was a two parter.

This story is very good.  It was painful to read, by design, but it was never exploitative.  Every unpleasant thing was there for a reason.  It has grammatical errors and stylistic problems, otherwise I'd favorite it.  I didn't even understand what was going on with "begging the coffee machine" from the second floor, for instance.  The two alternate endings in the second chapter really, really confused me; there's no indication that they're alternate endings.  "* * *" does not mean "alternate ending"; it means "scene break".

>>12384891238489

They're not alternate endings - it's a scene break.

I knew it was a bit awkward, but most people got what I meant. The action comes to a close... and then you see the first part of the letter being written. And then we go back to the action for what really happened.

As for the coffee machine, well - Rocky is living in a house above the pastry/sweet shop. He noticed that customers had already bought coffee, and decided to expand to get a little bit more cash. He did that by asking his hosts for their old coffee machine. It was, of course, upstairs in their living area.

Did you read chapter 2?

>>12390151239015

They're not alternate endings - it's a scene break.

I see now how that's supposed to work.  I had to read that five or six times before I figured it out, though, even knowing there was a trick.  I think what threw me was the murder charges.  Knowing that Twilight and the Princess were agreeing to charge three ponies with murder, I assumed somepony was dead.  I don't think they'd manufacture trumped-up murder charges that way.  I'm not saying it's unethical, just not in character.

The coffee machine thing is probably a regional dialect issue.  Where I'm from, a coffee machine is a big thing you find at a coffee house.  A coffee maker is what you'd have in your house.  IIRC I also couldn't find the object of the verb "beg".

Anyway, it's a really good story, but if you send it to Equestria Daily they'll bounce it back with dozens of corrections of grammar, punctuation, point-of-view changes, and technical issues that don't impact reader enjoyment very much but make you look more professional.  So go over it really carefully first if you want to do that.  Of course, they might just read the first scene and kick it back immediately.  I don't remember if they have something like a "no gore" policy.  They interpret all their policies as strictly as possible, in my experience.

>>12408321240832

Ah, it's regional dialects at issue here with how I used "coffee machine" and "begged".

I wrote the story at least 18 months ago, so I like to think I've improved since then - at least a little. It also went up on Equestria Daily a long time ago and probably wouldn't have gone up in its current condition now. Plenty of my stories which are up on Equestria Daily wouldn't go up today if they had been written as well as they were then. Then again, the audience has also grown a thousandfold so the extra fixes are important.

I can't remember now how I had the "murder charges" thing setup. I haven't re-read this story in ages... maybe I should!

>>12409641240964  Hey, you wrote The Ambassador's Son!  And... lots of good stuff!    Sorry, I thought I had found a promising new writer and was giving helpful advice.

>>12411141241114

I always say, I'm one of the most famous completely unknown bronies

Lovely story <3

Pretty good. :)