Her car's a mess, and so is her life. What better way to start making sense of the cruel world than to take the city bus? Octavia is in for a bumpy ride as she journals her observations and feelings about using the Equestrian Transit System. What will she discover? Only one way to find out!
TheDorkside99
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Comments ( 403 )
Well this is very interesting. Definitely hasn't been done before... ![]()
I always love reading journal-centric stories like this, and I haven't seen such a concept used in the mlp fandom yet. Really looking forward to what's gonna come next ![]()
Is Vinyl in this?
I'll read it later at home anyways ( on ipod at college now)
Edit: Woah! I like this well intentioned yet troubled version of Octavia. Usually she is portrayed as overconfident and has it all together except for social areas. A fresh take is very welcomed!
Before reading:
I laughed when I first saw the title. Somehow a fanfic titled "Octavia Takes The Bus" seemed hilarious to me.
After reading:
I try to avoid favoriting too much fics, but I think this is worth it, even if it's not comedy, my favorite genre. In one word: intrigued. Go on, dear Sir. ![]()
I have a feeling that I am going to enjoy this. Can't wait for more ![]()
I'm telling you, get this on EqD! It deserves more views than it has!
Loving it so far!
I wasn't sure what to expect after the first chapter. Maybe just some of Octavia's nervousness with comical interruptions of her writing.
This went above and beyond my expectations. I can't wait to see more.
I really liked the Introduction chapter so I already held high hopes, but this chapter turned out to be far better than what I could possibly imagine.
Brilliant work. ![]()
I'm eager to see how you are going to continue from here.
Omg must know what's wrong with Lyra. She's going to be ok right? You're going to make me worry about her. QQQQQQQQQ.
Finally have the time to read a new chapter! I also had to wait almost half an hour today in a bus stop, just like our hero here. Delicious irony.
This writing is certainly unique, even if the concept of ponies having internet somehow feels a bit off to me. Also, I still can't decide if I like this kind of Celestia. Regardless, I love hypocrite Octavia! She most certainly doesn't have any prejudices. ![]()
There are two things I'd like to mention, however: first, at the part where Octavia's talking with Twilight on the bus, a few sentences are in present tense, while the others are in past. I'm not a native English speaker, so maybe I'm wrong, but this seems kinda fishy to me.
And second, at the end of the first half of the fic, you, or rather, Octavia, uses the name "Lyra", even though she shouldn't know it. She always referred her earlier as "green unicorn" and the like.
Is it bad I'm more concerned with Octavia's opinion on the bus than Apple Bloom? I really hope she learns to love it!
Yay! Finally a Vinyl cameo!![]()
And the whole pinkie incident was hilariously awesome.
As far as my thoughts on this fic go you receive this: *blink* *blink* Did I read this or think it? No... I did read it... but I also saw it. *brain explodes*
I was wondering when Vinyl would show up, and it was a pretty interesting scene, keep it up!
And!! You'll be happy to know I finally submitted it to EqD! Here's to hoping it'll get featured on their site ![]()
And as far as the cover art image goes...I don't know. I thought the old one was kinda ghettolicious. Still hoping some gracious artist wouldn't mind taking time outta their busy day to draw up a nice little cover image for little old me ![]()
Damn... When she lit that match, I was sort of hoping Octavia was goin to burn the building down.
Some ponies just want to watch the world burn.
No wonder Octy is so fucked up because there isn't a word strong enough to describe how much of a bitch her mother is.
I am now forever glad I checked this story out, its truly a fantastic piece.
If I am ever asked for a fantastic fic or great unkown one, I shall recommended this. You should submit this to EqD, Im sure it will have no trouble passing.
Truly fantastic update.
Such beauty, such grace in her old age (a total maniacal freak if you ask me), Ah Octavia, your mother we love (hate)
the most.
My goodness this is fantastic! Please keep writing it, it's wonderful!
what I could glean from the way Lyra’s mouth revealed
Octavia suddenly knows Lyra's name?
Edit: Oh. Above already noted it.
Well, the intro caught my attention!
I'll be back to continue as soon as time allows.
Oh sweet Princess Celestia.
"The intricate design of hard metal parts sent the cellist’s mind into a confused daze and ultimately a frustrated attempt to make sense of her troubles."
"cellist"
cellist
![]()
I hope you make Octavia checking in on the aftermath of Twilight's confrontation with Celestia a future chapter
Holy Christ, dude...that's really the best I can offer to you right now. That, and a track.
This is such a great chapter. I loved Vinyl's take on music here; it seems like every fic she's in she always has some sort of mind-blowing philosophy that resonates with every reader that forms the audience. ^^
Also, Pinkie "Best Pony" Pie got a scene. Huzzah! ![]()
I take the bus most mornings to school. I'm sure Octy'll be fine! ![]()
I delve into Fimfiction hunting for pieces that make me feel. Truly, it is not the destination that matters as much as the journey, and this piece is touching on several levels. You've taken the one dimensional snobbery of Octavia and evolved her into not only someone we sympathise for, but can relate to. I was not expecting this from a story about Tavi on a bus, or I would not have started reading until it was complete. Now I have to fret about Twi, Applebloom and Tavi until your next update.
Thank you for the wonderful read.
Poor Frederic. I didn't used to hate his miserable guts.
Wow. This has taken a turn for the serious. At first I thought it'd be silly stories about odd encounters with public transport goers. But this has such a deep and complex level of backstory, one that I did not expect in the slightest.
My one query is how Octavia came to learn Lyra's name? I don't recall it being mentioned. Maybe she learned it in a way not mentioned in the "journaling" that she does. Do you have an explanation?
Now this is quite intriguing...I admit, the story isn't what I expected reading the intro, but that doesn't mean it isn't interesting. I enjoy stories like this that deal really in-depth with character and psychology; in fact, this story reminds me of some movies I really liked.
And as someone who regularly takes the bus, I'm sure Octavia will be just fine. ![]()
>>530261 Well, it definitely got featured! By the way, this chapter is the best by far! Two of my favorite ponies, Scratch and Pinkie, meeting another of my favorite ponies, Octavia, in the one chapter! Maybe it was luck, maybe it was fate, maybe it was a clever manipulation of cameo appearances, but you definitely deserve every internet given to you. Jolly good show old bean
</British>
... I... Wow... I... That was... Yeah, that pretty much sums up everything in my head right now.
Powerful is what I would desribe the emotions here. This whole story like a whirlpool dragging me in deeper and deeper. I salute your work and hope for more updates as soon as possible!
a chello?
its a contrabass dummy! still besides that it is well written.
You know, I checked this on a whim because the title intrigued me.
Now, I regret nothing. This is awesome.
Well, this is certainly a gem. I like this style quite a lot, and can hear Octavia's voice from Epic Wub Time flowing all the way through it, intermingled with Twilight Sparkle's. Since I'm a regular on city buses, the whole thing is rather, well, personal. I can see it all happening from any angle in the bus, and now I can even see all those ponies standing up and pulling on the cord and I've got a picture of Octavia writing in her journal while Lyra and Bon Bon are sitting together.
God above this is a jewel of a find.
May the Grace of the Valar Protect You
Shire Folk
P.S. I'm hoping to see more of Twilight later.![]()
Favourite line: "...work my plot off"
Awesome chapter, and I bet Pinkie Pie was going to visit Apple Bloom and try to cheer her up.
May the Grace of the Valar Protect You
Shire Folk
As others have said before, this chapter was powerful.
You earn a moustache or two for it. ![]()
![]()
May the Grace of the Valar Protect You
Shire Folk
Sounds like many of her problems stem from a bitch of a mother. So many problems are caused by bad mothers!
I shall submit a bill to Congress at once outlawing motherhood! (and then the human race will cease to exist... ALL PART OF THE PLAN!!! MUWAH HA HA HA HA!!) ![]()
Well, we do know now that Celestia (and by relation, Luna) are not as powerful as we assumed.
Only Discord truly has powers that rival a god's... wow... that's a disturbing thought.
Hmm... Octy's a bit long-winded, but other than that, one of the best new fics in a while. I can see this being great from start to end.
I felt a few times you could have elaborated the scene a bit more, but still, I found this the best chapter so far. I could really immerse myself into the story, from the awkward love revelation to the paralyzing meeting with her mother. I'm now wondering if Octavia can ever escape; her emotional and social life are so deeply messed up, and she has nopony to count on... Though probably the doctor will call her back later. She'll need that.
*Alondro leans in with a cruel leer* Applebloom and Lyra both die. Slowly and agonizingly. *cackling he retreats, having completed the task of sewing disharmony for his Master!* Feed, lord Discord. Feed and be free once more! ![]()
Can you have her flip out and hoof her mother in the face?
Or can I do it?
I really hate condescending rich whores like that. But the clever hide their plans, they play the meek and obedient offspring until the time is right, carefully aging their plans on a slow simmer for the revenge to attain flawless, untraceable perfection.
Oh they always think they're so in control... until they mysteriously develop atypical parkinsonism. You know, the kind which can be perfectly natural, or brought about by steady dosing of a tasteless chemical extracted from fruits of the Jackfruit family. Alas, no one can tell the difference, for the substance breaks down within days, and all traces are gone after a month. And they lie there, the uncontrollable tremors wracking their bodies, as you stare down on them with vindictive victory burning in your eyes. That's when the real fun begins.
(This is a PURELY fictional account, of course! I'd go with Salmonella poisoning, myself.)
Still, never... piss off... a biologist. ![]()
I finally caught up with this chapter, I really liked the interaction between Octavia and Vinyl about the nature of why one makes art. Looking forward to more ![]()
It is now 7:43 am, I am caught up and am still in shock over what I read. This story about Octavia and her struggles with her mother are very deep and powerful and...wait, this is about Octy taking a bus ride? You are an amazing writer, can't wait for the next chapter.
"who lied ill" -> "who lay ill"
Frederic was too much of a jerk in the first chapter to go uncommented upon. Even if I try to imagine him badly in an ignorable, nondescript way, I still see him like most stuck-up people: snooty, unhelpful, and condescending, but not so much a direct jerk. At least, it seems weird for Octavia to mention it without commenting. Or "he's just jealous" (whether he is or not). I would also be so upset if you made all the classical-playing ponies one-dimensional, but I doubt you would.
The writing is sharp and to the point. Like with most dry wit, it's hard to read much of it straight through - it wears on the reader fast. Not a criticism, just something to watch out for when you're pacing this kind of story.
Each time I do read another of these chapters, though, I get that same connection with and understanding of Octavia. You've done amazing at making her who she is. You're one of the best new pony writers out there. ![]()
Ugh.. I'm thinking this needs a 'depressing universe' tag. Lyra is theoretically terminal, AB has a terrible illness, Dash had her wing ripped to pieces. Oh, and Octavia's mom is a heartless bitch of a woman that should be hung, drawn, and quartered. Just gets more depressing.
Wow.
intense.
but wait, I don't get Rainbow Dash's real injury. Is she missing a wing?
A lot of this chapter was too subtle. I don't understand what the significance of the two children with the unnamed devices was. Nor do I fully understand how a socket can just be "gone". "There was a hole here. It's gone now."?
ok...OOWWWCCHHHH!!!![]()
Interesting entry you've done. I've gotta wonder why Octavia is surrounded by dickwads. Not only her mother, but her ensemble too. Absolutely no respect or appreciation from the way it looks (Susie I can understand). Looking forward to seeing where it goes from here
Wait so the wing got torn off or....?
Elaborate on that injury please? I dont understand how a socket can get torn off ![]()
Oh wow. Rainbow Dash, what have you done to yourself. I sincerely hope that Rainbow makes the Wonderbolts, somehow, but now that I think about it, if she's been gone from Ponyville for so long on this journey, then that means that she doesn't know about Apple Bloom!
May the Grace of the Valar Protect You
Shire Folk
NOOOO!!! rainbow dash whyyy!!!
poor rainbow... she just cant give up on her dream, she has to just keep hoping.
I have a question regarding Rainbow too, only because it's clear that she's missing a blessed wing! ARRRGH!
Ahem.
This is a wonderful storytelling - Octavia's upbringing and subsequent frailties for such; dying father, cold-blooded mother; misunderstood and antagonized by her quartet and physician; still taking the goddamn bus.
Let's see what else transpires, hm? I am so loving this.
This is the universe in which everypony has chronically lowered serotonin levels in their CNS.
It is also a ponyverse I can take over with ease! So many weak minds... easily swayed... or simply invaded. ![]()
"...middle of the bucking way with my shitty neck cramping up from siting..."
I get that she's angry, but the 'shitty' line seems pretty out-of-character for her.
EDIT: Same with the "sun is a bitch" line a bit later.
I thought that her mother insulting Octavia was a great dramatic touch. Having the exact same phrasing seemed a little strange considering that it was Frederic, and not Sousie on the phone. This was a great chapter. The narrative voice works well as a pause from Octavia's journals.
I'm going to whine again a little about it being Sousie Tuba, not Beauty Brass, but the name's starting to grow on me.
I wish you could do something so it makes more sense how Octavia knew Lyra's name, though. They're both from Canterlot if it helps.
I didn't really get the two children playing with beepy things either. I couldn't really tell what you meant when you said the socket was gone. Did you mean that the socket itself was torn open? Or completely detached?
I... I don't know. Maybe it's just because I'm from New York (the city on which I'm assuming the first section was based), but I really didn't like that first part. There were quite a few moments were Octavia seemed completely out of character. I get that she's angry, hot, and in pain, but from what you've shown us so far, I feel like she would deal with it calmly.
Also, like others, I'm confused by the detached socket.
I'm not the first one to be confused by exactly what RD's injury is. ![]()
*Gasp* The bus arriving... ON TIME, ALL THE TIME????? What is this blasphemy?







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