• Member Since 17th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Skywriter


loves tiaras.

Comments ( 86 )

This is going to end hilariously badly isn't it?

That was great. I could feel Braeburn's frustration, yet when Strongheart shows up, he blows it. Characterization and humor were spot on. Very enjoyable once again, Sky.

I get the feeling that Braeburn is far from the first Apple to engage in metaphorical botanoerotica. I could be wrong. I might not be.

In any case, a very amusing story on blind love and why ponies shouldn't lick salt on an empty stomach. Thank you for it. :twilightsmile:

I...Skywriter...why, why would you do this...(Still faved and upvoted.)

You know, as much as I like this pairing, there is one thing no one has really explored to my satisfaction: what happens when Little Strongheart grows up into a fine figure of a bison cow; i.e., ripped as hell.

That was brilliant. The chapter I'm currently writing of my own comedy fic now looks woefully inadequate by comparison... :facehoof:

4349021
I would probably be unable to avoid faving the heck out of that hypothetical story no matter how tepidly it might be written. I am like that.

There hasn't been any much Braeburn X Strongheart love fics.
Plus since they can't bear children that'll make their sex life more fun.

Congratulations Skywriter, the thought of Braeburn actually giving this speech made me cringe harder than Spike's rendition of the Cloudsdale anthem. :twilightoops:

Braeburn: "I started off writing a speech...but it turned into self insert interspecies erotica." :derpytongue2:

Absolutely hysterical, well done!

Congrats! I love you! You shouldn't be sorry at all! :rainbowlaugh:

:raritywink: is all that is needed for this story.

WAT
U PROMISED POLLENASHUN
WUZ NO POLLNASHUN
U SUCK SKUNK CABBAG STAMENS

4350329
Oh, go write your own vegetable erotica.

10/10 would aerate and re-sow next spring

(As you may have already seen me say elsewhere) This is the most I've laughed at a pony story in some time. I absolutely loved this. I don't know if I've got a whole lot of interesting comments to make, though, unfortunately—other than that, since I'm feeling like I'm in a bit of a writing funk myself, it was really, really nice to see some of your wonderful setting work at the beginning, to remind me of what I'm supposed to be doing myself.

I honestly giggled to myself the entire time I was reading this. Job well done, my fine friend. :twilightsmile:

Ah, Finals Week, and the strange but beautiful ships that come from it.

Have you ever thought of a title for a story and then proceeded to write a whole entire story just based on that title? Because I sure have.

Yup. I know exactly what you mean. Have you also had a story and can't decide whether or not it would be funny/sexy/serious? Because that is apparently how the best stories get started. This is one best story. Your plant erotica is the cream of the hypothetical corn crop. The triploid apple of one's eye.

In other news, crop-fic is amazing pun. +1000 points.

This is probably the best Heartburn fic I've seen, ever. (Ship mashup name chosen with deliberation.)

This gets five bemused AJs outta five! :ajbemused::ajbemused::ajbemused::ajbemused::ajbemused: "And you still wonder why some folks mistake you for a colt-cuddler, cuz."

4349021
Well, he is an Earth pony of good solid farming stock. I'm sure he can appreciate a wife twice his size who can unroot an oak tree with a headbutt.

4350329
4350372
I have to admit, the story that eventually drove me over the edge of actually reading fanfiction and joining the site was a story called "Applejack eats a peach".

It wasn't the story, though (spoiler alert: she wasn't eating a peach). It was this comment expressing disappointment in the fact that it wasn't about a peach.

This conversation reminds me of that.

ANYWAY.

The title alone made me chuckle. But as things went from bad to worse, the laughter started rising in my chest. I had to stop when the corn spoke to Mr. Triploid Apple in a husky tone of voice, and turn away for a little bit before continuing on.

But I entirely approve of your writing methodology.

My stomach hurts from laughter and my heart aches in sympathy.

Can I just say I totally see Skywriter having a massive crush on a lovely lady and typing something idly, without really thinking, then looking at what he's written and realizing he's just regurgitated sappy love poetry all over his nice clean page?

Pfftttahahahahaha! Poor Braeburn. That whole long chunk with Mr. Triploid Apple's mom and their concerned conversation was also priceless. You totally shoulda kept the first one, Brae! Just, you know, edit out some of the juicier bits. :raritywink: :rainbowlaugh:

HeartBurn? Do want. :heart:

Poor Braeburn. I hope he gets the mare. :rainbowkiss:

4353309 I am sad that I never thought of that beautiful ship name.

I like the way your muse thinks.

Wow... just... wow... :rainbowlaugh:

Only one issue with this story;

It's marked 'Complete'. This should be changed immediately.

4356183
What more is there to say, though?

37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwsweaRZ3l1qiocs5o1_1280.jpg

Seriously though, this story was exactly what the title said it would be. Though I admit that with the "Mature" rating, I was worried you might have gone somewhere else with it. Glad to see that wasn't the case, and I got just the right balance of humor and bad puns I was hoping for!

4349021
IIRC, there was some really cute fanart of cow!Strongheart (I guess the current gal is actually a buffalo heifer) and her stallion snuggling. He basically looked like a calf next to her.

"I'm really looking forward to hearing what you have to say," she said.

I'm sure she'll be all ears.

That said, I never pegged Braeburn as a stalker...

4357247
You're right, I misidentified her in the story; fixed now.

This is ridiculous, utterly hilarious and I love it. Although you should probably add in the "Sex" tag, considering it's pretty relevant.

Speaking of relevant things, I found this interesting image.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/2/21/250460__safe_shipping_straight_older_braeburn_interspecies_little+strongheart_buffalo_artist-colon-jberg18_braeheart.jpeg

Ah, the eternal balance that every person who has ever had to serve as a best man fears, to whit, how far to go. It would seem that Braeburn has overbalanced so far while reaching for useful, meaningful and funny that he has fallen right over the edge into dopey, horny and sordid, and now can't pull himself back up.

I must say however that he never struck me as being quite that randy, but we live and learn.... And so will Little Strongheart by the look of it, provided she doesn't expire from embarrassment and/or laughing first. :pinkiehappy:

I was laughing the whole time while reading this great stuff.:rainbowlaugh:

On the one hand, I don't care about Braeburn. Or Strongheart. At all.

On the other hand, this is excellent. So...

The only problem with this fic is that I was laughing so much it was hard to finish it.

4393063
A good problem from where I sit!

Excellent! Very much enjoyed this. When he started going on about the pollinating, I lost it. Too freaking funny. Yes, it's the warm air that's getting you sweaty. Suuuure it is. :raritywink:

Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!

With a title this good only amazing things could follow...

And they did! :rainbowlaugh:

"Oh, stuff the bees!" she will say, tearing off her feathered headdress (or possibly not, depending on how temperate the growing season is that year). "Take me now, in the way of my people, by showering pollen down upon me from above!"

Suddenly, I found myself remembering this. :derpytongue2:

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Harder, Braeburn! Rustle them harder! Shower me with your apple seed!"

God dammit :rainbowlaugh:

In short, absolutely hilarious. I still felt bad for Braeburn, both because of making dumb promises and that sexy reason you made those promises in the first place. I think we all know how it feels to pour your frustrations onto a blank page without really realizing it. Serious topped with delicious ridiculous is the best kind of comedy. :raritywink:

4791071
Thank you! Glad you liked this one. :pinkiehappy:

Hey, I wrote a review for this story. If you are interested, it can be found here.

This was incredibly funny, and the writing is extremely clever. The fic is a little too flimsy in its premise, but really, I love the writing in this too much not to have loved it.

4800488
Hey, thanks for the primarily positive review! :pinkiehappy:

:rainbowhuh:

It would seem cousin Braeburn has inherited the apple family quirk of anthropomorphizing apple trees. I don't know what I expected to think of this piece, but it was pretty fun.

This reminds me of the good old days of the FimFiction meta. Writers writing about writers doing writerly things. Cynewulf writing about Twilight writing in a coffee shop while writing in a coffee shop. I occasionally stop to wonder if maybe it's still happening and I'm just missing it, or if the writers are floating away as Equestria gets more and more defined and less a wide open frontier of possibilites, devoid of the jagged mountains of canonized whims that force writers through narrow passes of consistency.

Sorry, got nostalgic there for a second. I know y'all are still here, especially yourself. It just feels different somehow, y'know?

Anyway, speaking about writers writing about writers doing writerly things, I really wonder about some of these stories. I've seen a few about writers getting caught up in writing erotic things, intentionally or otherwise, I'm wondering if it's a definable fan-fiction trope*. (Bradel's Purple Prose comes to mind, though it's not a very good example, since the writing itself was pretty intentional.) Like, do writers really become so incredibly oblivious to what they're actually writing that they can start talking about something completely unrelated to the topic at hand while still maintaining the presence of mind required to commit words to paper? Is it incredibly ironic that I should say this when I went on a fairly sigificant tangent not two paragraphs ago?

Speaking of which, I'm going to have to apologize for this comment not really being very much about the story it's ostensibly commenting on. It's instead more just a stream of conciousness that was more or less inspired by exposure to your hilarious, hilarious words.

4351738 That ship name, oh my god. :rainbowlaugh:


*I've probably written before about how fan-fiction seems to contain an unusual concentration of stories about writers writing, and it seems to make a good deal of sense if I think about it. After all, writers write about experiences, and one experience they are all guaranteed to have had is that of writing. Your own TS Earns the Feature Box is an excellent example of a story about an experience that is relevant specifically to your peers, and I wonder if there are any other pieces of literature that touch on the peculiar experience of social-internet authors. Castle is the only piece of media I can think of off the top of my head that is specifically about a writer, and it's not in any way about writing so much as it is about a theoretically knowledgeable layman tagging along with the police all the time, and generally having the awesome adventure that I'm sure actual writers fantasize about having. Would that their profession were so glamorous that they could use their connections to send themselves on such escapades.

4893805
You usually see movies about writers, not serieses(eseses). I guess there's just not enough sustained interesting material about writing to hook an audience in for multiple seasons. That someone is a writer is usually a framing device (Watson in the Sherlock Holmes stories) or incidental to the plot.

Glad you liked!

That was a great read. Funny and cute. I can really see Braeburn being like this.
Greenthumbed!

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