• Member Since 24th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Feb 23rd, 2015

Joshua Blaine


I'm young and learning. I hope you enjoy what I write!

Comments ( 6 )

Why, hello there. How are you today?

Might I compliment your character on his fine name choice?

Looks promising, will wait till 3 more come out too fully decide. :twilightsmile: best of luck!

This was a good start-up and a good cliffhanger too. Some of your paragraphs are a bit big, but it's not bad yet and still looks professional. It's something I really like.
Another thing I really like was your prologue/prelude: not necessarily because of its content (that was fine too) but because you really sticked to the rules of what a prologue/prelude is and didn't do a first chapter while naming it p./p. for the sake of not starting with chapter 1.

I really wonder why he's the only on "alive" (I know the others are not technical dead, but they're not alive and kicking either.)

I case noone told you already, the FoE group has its own FIMfiction-Wasteland Survival Guide for new writers. Many useful hints and tips are listed there, which should help you to make your good story even better (as far as that's possible)

A good story, earned itself a like, and I want to see how it goes on.

The prelude here is a poignant look at a leader in the world's darkest hour. The Administrator is not sadistic, exploitative, or psychotic, which is a commendable outlook compared to other examples of similar figures in fiction. While the recording section was a little too thick with information better left excluded or diminished, I think it left the intended impact on me.

Some descriptions, especially those separated into massive paragraphs, were rather bland. It was not that the images were badly presented, but they could be summed up in shorter statements.

All in all, this a fine start to what I expect is a unique look on the Fallout: Equestria universe.

It's a shame this account is dead, I like the story

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