Applejack receives an apology from her big brother.
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NTSTS
Joined 30th Jul, 2011 ·
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I'm really not sure how to react to that.
The writing was brilliant, make no mistake. Wonderful descriptions, real characters, a story that I could easily picture in my mind.
But that ending... really?
Woah..I really like this! Just like AJs song, this was melodic!
I was all:
....And then
.....
.....
...
I was expecting a sweet story between siblings and now I'm all "DAT WINCEST"
Very good! I loved it from beginning to end. Please tell me this isn't it. There's gotta be more!
18347
I don't know that reducing the story to a contextualization that simple really communicates the idea I was setting out with... it's weird, because on both sides of the fence in reaction to this story, the comments are either 'gross incest' or 'aw yeah incest'... I think that's missing the point entirely, because the notion of the narrative was to communicate the way a bond between siblings can transcend conventional standards, and to give emotional weight to a brother - sister relationship, rather than just pandering for the sake of the shipping trope.
That being said, I've put thought into the pairing, and have more story ideas in mind... but if I end up writing anything like that, it'll either be similarly intellectual, or completely the other direction, abandoning all pretense of deeper meaning.
In any case, glad you liked it.
A few word choices (like using 'so many summers ago' twice in the first few paragraphs) threw off the writing a little bit, you portrayed emotion quite well.
Dammit, so close... such a disappointing ending after such a wonderful buildup.
21369
What exactly was 'disappointing' about the ending? I'm assuming you're referring to the overt implication of the relationship between AJ and Big Mac.
It's my hope you'd judge the work on the body of the writing and consider the themes it's playing at rather than dismissing it based on your dislike of the pairing it focuses on.
I actually really liked the entire thing (even the ending)
Your use of description in both this and Lunacy are astounding, keep up the awesome work
27296
Thank you so, so much for finally being someone to offer a comment other than 'ew incest' or 'sweet, incest'. Really. It means a lot to me. Thank you.
Very interesting twist on the ending there, I didn't see it coming, and I thought it was a good, mature approach to a very touchy subject.
This was a pretty good read, all in all. Keep up the good work!
Bluntly, you are an immensely talented writer. Your descriptions are excellent, your characterizations are top-notch.
But, yeah -- I was disappointed by the ending, like others.
The incest fully explains AJ's jealousy. Nut it still jarred me.
Can't believe this is 3.4 stars. It's one of the better written fics on this site.
I'm glad I dropped in despite the rating.
Hate the ship all you want, but this is pure quality.
Good luck with your future writing. I'll be watching.
Man this is a really good story-
Shit.
It's not exactly the fact that it was incest, I can deal with that, but the fact that I saw it miles away and was still struck by it hard sucks.
...And you know, I'm still adjusting to incest fics
It has has a great writing style and a great build up but that end.....
Just... No
As one Twist genre writer to another, I tip my hat to you sir
It was wunderschein, to say the least. Thank you for taking me on this crazy ride, I shall cherish and be disturbed by the experience for as long as I look at those two in the same room. Flawless execution, that I couldn't have seen coming from a mile away. I'm glad I read this.
Gotta say, I'm firmly in the "ewww gross" camp, but that doesn't enter into how I rate stories.
1. Writing style: excellent and engaging.
2. Plot: mostly free of gaps, but it does beg some questions. How is Fluttershy going to take this? She'll pretty obviously be devastated, but we don't get to know that. And please tell me Apple Bloom is spared from this.
3. Mechanics: just some minor spelling and grammar issues.
That adds up to a good story.
I have to say, you have a flair for writing. Lovely description, one can really get the feeling and emotion so clearly. It's lovely.
But.
Applecest is becoming a trope in the fandom, and even with my personal disgust over incest put aside, it's really sort of disappointing to see. Why must country folk always be stereotyped as inbred and incestuous? Tension between brother and sister can be brought out without resorting to jealousy over sex.
I'd love to see you tackle other things besides this topic- as I said, you have real talent for writing.
I quite enjoyed this. Believable emotion, good writing, and one hell of a twist that managed to come out without seeming out-of-place. One of those stories I can really appreciate regardless of my feelings on this ship itself.
In all seriousness, if you even had an opinion on the incest, the rest of it (which was most of it) flew over your head.
people who write incest porn should be kicked in the junk.
I enjoyed this piece, but if I had to pick out a flaw I'd say it was too slow. There's a lot of emotional content here, and perhaps too much time is spent dwelling on it. It felt like the story wasn't really going forward; the whole thing could've been told in half the number of words.
Other than that, it has nice, descriptive language, the dialogue (what little there is) is solid, and the ending is... interesting.
Having found this fic through random browsing, I'm almost a year too late to offer fresh advice, but I spotted three mistakes:
"name of the pony who’s attention he sought" -> "whose"
"only half lowered from it’s sideways swipe" -> "its"
"an attempt to undue some" -> "undo"
491326 Why's that? I don't mind incest and, to be frank, it is a way to establish a connection between two siblings. It can be love or just sexual release. Pick your pick. But either way, it isn't wrong.
If it's love, then who are we to deny it? This is very much like homosexual persecution.
If it's just a sexual release, then how is that any different from jerking off?
Not to mention that it is far more common than what you might think.
I just don't like the excuse "AJ is in an incestuous relationship because she's supposed to be a southern hick", which I didn't see in this story, by the by.
Loved the scene-setting, but the ending seemed to come rather abruptly... and it didn't really seem to follow the flow of the rest of the story.
And I'm even later to the party.
Anyway, I disagree with the assertion that the ending was out of nowhere. At first I was like "Upset because he's banging one of her friends", but then it became increasingly clear that it was a woman scorned.
I think I liked it. >>
What the heck!?
Applejack is mad he slept with her friend, I understood that part. And they did it in broad daylight,which is also bad. But...he's her brother! You don't do that kind of thing with family! 