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A human knight from a far off and distant land finds himself stranded in Equestria and sets off to complete the mission given to him by his king. Along the way he will come across many challenges and gain both ally and enemy alike. While this wayward knight begins this quest alone and with a single goal, he will find himself as either an instrumental part in the survival of Equestria or in its destruction.
Well, this is an interesting retelling... All I have to say is...
MOAR
If the stories are to be believed, this strange man could kill a man with no more than a glance, cause a tower to crumble to dust with a single punch, and had slain the last of the mighty dragons. But despite these great feats, he was above all a monster. He slaughtered the innocents, burnt down holy churches of the gods and the High God himself and many-a woman widowed.
I thought of Monty Python.
"No," I mumbled, looking at some storm clouds brewing over the sea. "Is this not why I'm here?" I turned my attention back to him. "Did my father not send you here for this very reason? Besides.. I quite like it."Shouldn't this say 'me' as well, or am I just reading it wrong because of how late it is and I am tired?
first, my back let out a horrendous crack and then, the salty water that had been pooling on the side of my helmet came round to splash into my poor eyes.Okay these two were a slight mistakes, but easy to fix. Just remove the comma after "first" and then move the comma from after "and then" to in front of "and".
Using my superior intellect, I reasoned that a huge amount of water -- plus a tremendous amount of sand meant that I was on a beach.Either add another "--" after the word 'sand' and before 'meant', or instead put it into parenthesis so that it reads like this: "I reasoned that a huge amount of water (plus a tremendous amount of sand) meant...".
I turned around to see a slaving gullyShould read "galley", as a gully is a type of land formation (like a ravine or ditch).
Inside the chest was both my short sword and claymore, its steel blade was notched and dented from battle and its hilt was a simply thing wrapped in leather.Multiple errors in this sentence. The subject in the first clause is not the chest, but the two blades, so the "was" should be a "were". Also, which of the two swords has the notches, dents, and simple (you accidentally put "simply" here as well) wrapped hilt were you referring to? I am assuming the claymore, so how about making this two seperate sentences? Maybe reading like: Inside the chest were both my short sword and claymore. The claymore's (If you don't wish to repeat the word 'claymore' again, substitute it with "the larger weapon's") steel blade was notched and detented from battle, and it's hilt was a simple thing wrapped in leather.
I stated at the shovel for a moment, questioning why he had it.Should be 'stared'.
I mean, they can be used for digging, bludgeoning things; but as the man had found out, they weren't to great at putting out fires.Improper use of a semicolon (they should be used to connect two independent clauses), some misplaced commas, and a misuse of 'to' instead of 'too'. The full sentence should be changed to read as follows: I mean they can be used for digging and bludgeoning things, but as the man had found out they weren't too great at putting out fires.
Next was the matter of the wizard. What Bethold wants with the dead loving bastards is beyond me...Since in the sentence before you were only referring to a single wizard, there is only one 'bastard', not its multiple wizards. If however Bethold is after more than one wizard in the overarching plot (to be seen in later chapters), then the use of the plural is correct and I am an idiot :P.
I then began to look about for any sign of a trail and, with great luck, I found one!Okay, this one is a bit tricky for me so I would suggest asking another editor to make sure if I am right about this or not. But get rid of the commas and put the words "with great luck" in parenthesis. Again, this one I am not too sure about so ask for a second opinion.
The hope was slim but my entire life so far had been based on slight happen-stances"Happen-stances" is actually spelled "happenstances". No need for the hyphen :).
Anyways, sorry about all that editing and such I just provided. Great chapter overall, so I cannot wait to see what new stuff you have in store for us (though I do hope that Blacktooth will be coming back).
>>2505712 Heh, I have enjoyed the tales of Sir Gaius "The Bloody" even before the reboot you've started up... so sure, I wouldn't mind being a proofreader/editor for you now and then. 
Just send me via private messages a link to where you write the Google documents (or even email me the completed new chapters, whichever is easier for you) and I can give'em a look-see. I admit I am not perfect when it comes to grammar (I am Southern... listening to me speak would tell you that story in a heartbeat hehe), but I will do my best. Try to locate some other editors too, cause I will be doing the same. 
>>2505901 Yes, it was up to 14 or so chapters earlier. However, Zong decided to completely overhaul the story (sorta like how Cardslafter did with his "Through the Eyes of Another Pony" story).
>>2506295 Sorry it took so long to respond back (busy busy day lol), but sure, I don't mind being the pre-editor. Again, you can send me a link to where you're working on the story in Google Docs, or I can send you my private email address via private mail on this site so you can send me the chapter. Whichever is most comfortable with you. Anyways, till later, hope you have a great week and good luck on your exams.
Alright.
Favorited the original, saw it was redone, and then ignored it. Honestly, it disappointed me the first time around.
Second chapter comes out.
Ignore.
Finally I read the prologue-and I already like it, more-so than the original.
I have high hopes for this.
I have explained. Quite a bit. On several different occasions, be it author's note, comment or blog. I did it because I felt the story was too contradictory and the characters becoming meshy and bland. So I decided to do a complete overhaul where everything gets cleaned up a lot more.
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Now I must start over. Oh well.
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