Pathfinder Ponies

by terrycloth

Field of Battle

In the morning – late in the morning, after the party had had time for a good night’s rest, even after their late-night shenanigans – several acolytes led the party of fey adventurers to the War Room the priesthood had set up in a back room of the temple.

“Ah,” said the high priest they’d worked with the night before – one of four priests of similar rank in the room – “You’re just in time. We have a rare opportunity to end the undead threat once and for all, and you can help us!”

He showed them the map of the area that they’d been working with, with Crossroads at the south end of the map and the Black River Mine at the far north. The plains were scattered with tiny figurines of undead, but the vast majority were concentrated in one spot, half a day’s travel from Crossroads.

“They’ve massed here in this grove, preparing to attack us, but our scouts discovered their location in time. If we move today, with all our forces, we can crush them once and for all!” He pointed to a row of miniature orcs, most dressed as warriors, but a few holding holy symbols instead. “We have a hundred orcs and humans, and twenty acolytes of sufficient skill. We’ll form a line of battle, and when they emerge to face us we’ll outfight them with the power of the gods!”

“So what do you need us for?” Applejack asked.

“They need us to kill off the entire enemy army, plus the extra hundred wights and shadows that arise when their forces are slaughtered,” Twilight said. “If they could Death Ward their entire force somehow it could work, but lacking that…”

The high priest smiled. “As you may have guessed, yes. Our forces are bait. The acolytes should be able to mitigate some of the strength and energy drain for a while, and the living forces will then retreat behind a reserve line of disguised skeletons, complements of our local necromancer. This will let us pin down the undead far longer than their commander will expect. While they’re occupied, you can slip past the lines, attack the enemy camp, and take out whoever or whatever is controlling them.”

“The shadows will fly right through your lines,” Rarity said. “How do you plan to stop them?”

The priest shrugged. “We’re attacking in the middle of the day. Shadows hate sunlight. We’re hoping they’ll stay in the trees. If they don’t, the acolytes will drive them away with positive energy. This is less than ideal because it means they’ll escape, but with the leader dead, they’ll find their way back to the woods and haunt them until we can deal with them separately – shadows rarely wander far of their own accord.”

“So our job is just to go in and take out this leader,” Rainbow Dash said. “That sounds easy enough.”

“As long as we get Death Wards,” Twilight said. “We’ll be wading through a sea of shadows, if this goes according to plan.”

Two of the high priests went with the small army of orcish guards and acolytes. They made it clear that they would not be participating in the battle – their own survival was more important than saving Crossroads, and they could hole up in the temple indefinitely if the battle went south, along with the town’s civilian population. That didn’t mean they wouldn’t support the fight – between them, they’d be able to cast Death Ward on the entire party several times, if one casting wasn’t enough.

The orcish morale was grim. Most of them expected to die, but death in glorious combat was every true orc’s goal in life. Rumors that if they died, they’d rise as hideous undead and start to kill their friends threw a bit of water on that fire… but they were orcs and they would fight. Or at least, that’s what they said when asked.

The acolytes knew exactly what they were facing, but they were faithful and disciplined, and knew that the priests had a plan, and were confident that that plan didn’t involve them being sacrificed in vain.

They formed into ranks a mile from the forest, and were joined by Kazakh Thul with his small horde of armored skeletons, that fell into line with them. The necromancer himself was riding on a zombified flame drake, and took his place well behind the line.

“So this is where one of us should give an inspiring speech, to improve morale,” Twilight said. “I never got very good grades on my ‘inspiring speech before battle’ classes. Does anypony else want to give it a try?” There was silence. “Fluttershy?”

“Um...” she said, shrinking back from the question. “I don’t think they would… hear me.”

“I’ll do it!” Pinkie Pie said, bouncing up and down.

Twilight looked around. “Applejack?”

“Not really my style,” Applejack said. “I’d probably just end up getting a fit of honesty and telling them they should turn tail and run to save their own skin.”

Pinkie Pie waved her hooves. “Me me me!”

“Let her have her moment, dear,” Rarity said, as Twilight turned to her next.

Pinkie Pie flew up in front of the army. “I know what you’re thinking,” she said. “Bright Valley is in the grip of an elemental cult, the Sleeping Forest is overrun with bandits, the Zebras have somehow gone insane and want to attack us, and Rally can’t help because it’s slowly being devoured by the Plane of Smoke. Not even the gods can help us because we’ve been cut off from the outer planes, leaving the souls of the dead to wander until undeath gets a grip on them and brings them back to plague the living. It’s hopeless! The whole world is dying, and there’s nothing we can do!”

Twilight rubbed her forehead with a hoof. It would have worked better if she hadn’t had her helmet on.

“Well, there’s one thing we can do,” Pinkie Pie said. “We can fight! Just because the situation’s hopeless doesn’t mean we can’t get really really mad! We’re going to take those lemons that life is throwing at us and extract the phosphorus and oils and other flammable compounds and turn them into giant bombs which we’ll use to burn down everything!”

The orcs gave a slightly confused cheer.

“No, wait, that’s what I’m going to do. What you’re going to do is easier. You just need to take your axe, and put the sharp edge into the enemy’s face!”

That got a larger cheer.

“And every time you do, just say to yourself, ‘the world is ending? Not on my watch!’”

Another cheer.

“Now, chaaaarge!”

The orcs roared, and charged towards the forest. Since this was not part of the actual plan, the rest of the army had to scramble to keep up.

“Sorry,” Pinkie Pie said as she flew down to join the others. “I was in the zone.”

Fortunately for the plan – and the orcs – the undead in the forest charged out to meet the screaming horde. The two small armies met about a hundred yards from the forest, and the undead – who outnumbered the orcs three to one – would have surrounded the smaller force if Rarity hadn’t dispatched her sky dragons to hold the flanks. But soon, Kazakh Thul’s skeletons and the acolytes arrived in support, and started shouting at the more wounded orcs to retreat behind the lines for healing.

They also channeled energy to turn the few shadows who’d ventured out into the sunlight, before they could drain anyone to death.

The party were given their Death Wards, and slipped past the mass of undead to enter the forest. As expected, it was riddled with shadows, but most of the shadows were sticking near the edge to watch the battle, and once they’d established that nopony in the party could be drained, they ignored them, leaving them to make their way into the depths unhindered.

It did not take much searching to find the leaders of the undead horde – in a clearing near the center of the stand of trees, a shadowy figure rode on the back of a large, sleek dragon, with dusky scales and glowing red eyes.

“Kara’s twisted little wings,” Applejack said, fading into the shadows. “That has got to be some sort of illusion. Where would they get a dragon?”

“Well, I see it too,” Twilight said. “Unfortunately.”

“Do you think it sees us?” Pinkie Pie asked. “Oh, right, stupid question. It’s a dragon. You can’t sneak up on a dragon.”

“Indeed,” the dragon said, turning to face them, and grinning. “I told you it had to be a trap. And now here we are, just the two of us, against a gaggle of adventurers. Should we leave them here to the shadows and go destroy their pathetic little army?”

The shadowy figure on the dragon’s back pointed to Rainbow Dash, and croaked, “Kiiiillll.”

The dragon chuckled. “Mmm, yes. I do love the taste of arrogance.”

“How do you like the taste of arrows?” Surprise asked, unleashing a barrage of flaming bolts from a hiding place up in a tree.

The dragon swept a wing and knocked the arrows away, contemptuously. “They taste like poison,” it said, not even flinching as Rainbow Dash – in eagle form – charged at its face and smacked into an invisible shield.

“Oh, this is a really bad idea,” Applejack muttered, as she dashed through the bushes to get around behind the dragon and flank.

“Indeed,” Rarity said. “Be a dear and don’t get caught in the flames, mmm?” She flicked her hoof, the air to the right of the dragon exploded in flames, catching both it and its rider, while Applejack just barely managed to duck and cover.

Fluttershy hovered up off Macintosh’s back as he charged, and blessed him and all her friends – but it wasn’t enough to let his lance penetrate the dragon’s thick scales, further reinforced by magic. Pinkie Pie followed up with a bomb, which washed some of the magic away.

“Now that you’ve seen that your efforts are futile,” the dragon said, “I think it’s time I had a little snack.” Its teeth lunged forwards at Rainbow Dash, who nimbly dodged to the side, then did a barrel roll to avoid the dragon’s claws, and ducked back under its chin to avoid its wings. As she did a little victory twirl before beginning her own attack sequence, however, the dragons tail whipped around and smacked into her side.

“Dodgy little –“ the dragon started, before being blindsided by Twilight’s hammer, which crushed its jaw and ruined one of its eyes, nearly killing it on the spot.

“Paaaaain,” croaked the rider, whipping his hand to the side to uncover a glowing symbol on a nearby tree. Waves of wracking agony flooded the party. Most were able to shake it off, but Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie felt it sink into their bones, wracking them with agony with every move.

Then, the gloomwings arrived. Four shadows of gloomwings, whose negative energy aura could be ignored thanks to the wards, but who still threatened to confuse the party with their flickering wings. Somehow, Twilight and most of the others managed to keep their heads, but Pinkie and Surprise were mesmerized by the hypnotic patterns.

Surprise acted on instinct, shooting a volley of bolts at the nearest gloomwing, piercing its wings and tearing huge holes, but failing to destroy it. Pinkie Pie screamed in rage, and slammed her spiked hooves into Macintosh’s butt. Or rather, into the armor coating his flanks, which absorbed her attack effortlessly.

Rainbow Dash screamed in pain, unleashing a cone of lightning and noise to engulf the dragon and its rider, but the dragon was unfazed by the sound and the rider was incorporeal, so it had a minimal effect. This was still better than Applejack and Macintosh, who couldn’t manage to get their weapons to strike hard enough to penetrate the scales.

Rarity shot a volley of magic missiles at the wounded gloomwing, finishing it off, while Fluttershy backed off a ways into the woods, and started summoning.

The dragon turned its remaining eye on Twilight, who was shaken by its aura and wracked with pain from the symbol. “That hurt,” it said out of the good side of its mouth, and lunged at her. She managed to fend off its claws with her shield, but was badly bitten, and battered by its wings and tail… but was still standing.

“Daaarkness,” intoned the shadowy rider, and black tentacles emerged from the ground underneath Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy, wrapping the three of them up and squeezing.

Twilight ignored their cries, and focused through the pain and fear, and for once made careful swings instead of trying to hit as hard as she possibly could – and with Fluttershy’s blessing guiding her, managed to smack her hammer into the dragon’s head two more times, crushing its skull and ending its life.

But as its scaly bulk settled to the ground, the gloomwings’ hypnotic patterns once again flickered in her eyes, and her grip on reality dissolved.

Rainbow Dash and Applejack both managed to keep enough of their senses to converge on the mage, and while Rainbow Dash’s attacks mostly phased through it, Applejack’s ghost-touch rapier stabbed it right in the heart, and the creature shrieked and slowly dissolved.

Its tentacle spell remained, however – Pinkie Pie tried to dispel it with one of her bombs, but the magic was too strong. Fluttershy was confused and gnawed uselessly on the tentacles, while Rarity made a futile struggle to escape.

But the battle was over – it took a few more confused swings, with Macintosh managing to somehow hit himself, and Surprise thoroughly missing Rarity, but the gloomwings didn’t last long with nothing else to support them, and they didn’t have any effective attacks of their own aside from the confusion.

Pinkie Pie kept failing to dispel the black tentacles, however, and Fluttershy and Rarity were helpless to do anything. Eventually, on her seventh try, she managed to dissolve the spell – and just in time, as Fluttershy had nearly been squeezed to death and Pinkie herself was almost passed out from the feedback of her ablative barrier.

Fluttershy did some quick healing, and the others checked around for treasure, but found nothing – the dragon’s lair was not here, and the shadow wizard’s gear was lying wherever he’d originally died.

So they quickly left the forest to see how the army was faring.

The answer was, quite well. As they reported to the priests to confirm that the masters were dead, they heard the story.

Shortly after they entered the forest, a shock-team consisting of an undead minotaur supported by several griffons came rushing at the orcish line, and several orcs were quickly killed before Kazakh Thul took control of the minotaur and added it to their own forces. Suddenly, the center of their line was a strong point, to match the two strong points at either flank where Rarity’s dragons were laying waste. The orcs were stronger in battle than the wights, and being able to withdraw behind the lines before they were completely drained kept the wights from getting any more ‘recruits’. The skeletons were not as good as the orcs, but could hold the wights in place long enough for the minotaur and the dragons to slowly roll up the line, taking them all down.

After the explanation, the party members that still had some fight in them were able to charge into battle and help take down the last few of the weak undead, leaving only the shadows in the forest. But between Rarity and Kazakh Thul, they had many skeletons and other undead – naturally immune to the shadows’ attacks – to send into the forest, and the acolytes were able to bless many weapons with enough magic to at least slightly damage the shadows. So it was only a matter of time before the vast majority of the forest was shadow-free.

At least, for the moment. The destroyed shadows would undoubtedly rise again as shadows – but free shadows, not organized into a massive army, and therefore little threat. Free shadows would probably never leave the wood of their own accord, especially after the acolytes Consecrated the entire perimeter.

The wights were buried by the surviving orcs, most of whom were badly energy-drained. There was some hope that most of them would be able to recover on their own… but for the others, it would take a while for the priests to get around to restoring everybody.

As for the undead leader, the high priests and the party ventured back into the clearing where he’d been destroyed, and not only Consecrated the area, but shaped a large dome of stone over the spot where he’d fallen. Not only would that, in theory, keep him from rising as an undead again, but if he arose as a shadow, the dome would keep him trapped.

Applejack frowned. “Except that he’s a wizard, and probably has more ways of blasting a hole in solid rock than a dire badger dipped in a barrel of magma.”

“The Consecration should keep him in a state of constant torment,” Rarity replied. “I doubt he’ll be able to prepare any spells.”

“Well, that’s just peachy, I guess,” Applejack said.

“We do what we can,” one of the priests replied. “We’ll keep an eye on this forest, just in case.”

With the undead taken care of to the best of their ability, the army headed back for Crossroads, well before sundown. Just in case.

On the way back, Kazakh Thul approached Rarity as she worked on adding the umbral dragon’s skull to her skull swarm. “I see you’ve been busy,” he said.

“Dreadfully so,” Rarity replied. “I wasn’t intending to skip out on our deal, but I was… deceased on the way back from the attack on the mine, and none of my companions knew that I’d intended to return. After that, it was just one thing after another. You heard Pinkie Pie’s speech – the world is positively disintegrating!”

“And now?” he asked.

Rarity lifted her muzzle to the sky, and her hoof to her head, and sighed. “The blue-metal cult of Smooze is taking over Bright Valley as we speak. I would be incredibly remiss if I chose now as the time to sit around and study magic with you. Truly, there is no rest for the wicked, not even in death.”

The elderly orc reached out a grizzled hand to stroke along the back of Rarity’s cloak. “Perhaps we can come to some other arrangement to clear your debt. I’ve been known to pay for the opportunity to study truly unique undead specimens in great depth.” His hand lingered at the base of her tail. “I think you know what I’m suggesting.”

Rarity shivered, and flicked his hand away with her tail as she shifted positions to be out of his reach. “You want me to transfer control of my skull swarm, so that you can figure out how to replicate it?” she suggested, narrowing her eyes.

Kazakh Thul smiled, showing his fangs. “That would be acceptable, yes.”

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Pinkie is best Aperture CEO.

That worked out for the best, but it was just one battle, not the war. The world is crumbling out from under everyone. Though they aren't completely cut off from the outer planes; divine magic still works. Unless, of course, that's just the power of the divine casters' faith.

In any case, the problem has been recognized. Now someone needs to figure out how to fix it. That could prove tricky...

[albedoequals1]

We’re going to take those lemons that life is throwing at us and extract the phosphorus and oils and other flammable compounds and turn them into giant bombs which we’ll use to burn down everything!”

I see what you did there.

That dude riding the dragon is about as eloquent as a Nazgul.

It's fun to see Surprise as a contributing member of the party. I suppose she is an NPC under the hood, but several of your NPCs are nearly as developed as the heroes.