You know whats weird? Reminds me of these 2 kids that I know of in school.

Just Sayin.

Oh my...

Stay frosty!

~Hazard~

tracking, seems interesting enough

it's playing out very well so far, so i'm gonna go ahead and track this story.

Work on your spacing. Every time there is a new speaker start a new paragraph. Tracking.

Seems rather nice, but you should start a new paragraph whenever a different character speaks.

I love Christian. He somewhat reminds me of myself.

Sounds interesting, although the "Human teleported to Equestria" idea could be called "Generic" nowadays.

Y'know, Chris, you seemed like a nice guy, someone that I would cheer for! Your smugness, charm... But then you said Pepsi was better than Coke.

So, consequently, I'll be cheering on for Geo.

"Captain! Epic fic off the starboard bow"

"MEN! Ready the cannons! Aim! TRACK!"

BOOM!!!

"Bulls-eye, Captain!"

"And now, maites, we wait "

Seems like it could be a fun ride, tracked

>>394767394767

Dr. Pepper.

that is all

not putting a like yet, i want to see how you put this first. i am tracking to see where this goes though. and if it turns out good then ill like it.

You seem to be going in a good direction though so keep it up

>>395194395194

no u

Interesting. Both humans seem likeable, but considering their viewpoints, Geo will probably react better towards them than Christian, though I agree that pepsi is superior to coke, unless we're counting vanilla coke.

Surprising Twilight didn't ask for Rarity's help in the first place considering she's the expert on gem hunting, but with her personality... yeah, she wouldn't think of that. Curious if Lyra's gonna make a passing appearance.

Only problem is that we have no idea what the humans look like save their physical mass. Tracked.

Pretty cool. I'm tracking

>>393563393563

Intriguing...do you go to school in Melbourne, Australia? Because then you may have actually met us.  

>>395954395954:.....Oh......Shit.

>>395334395334

It seems you know the plot already...your name is also Shadow Scryer...funny, that.

I might have someone comment on Lyra.

Don't worry, physical appearances in the next chapter.

>>395964395964

I'll take that as a no.

>>395980395980: Yeah mo. Dammit, it would have been cool if we went to the the school.

>>394553394553

Thanks for the tip! I'll work on that.

>>394767394767

I actually like both, but as for the soft-drink superiority argument, I wanted something to show their constant petty arguments. Besides, cheer for either. You may change your mind later, you may not.

>>395987395987

Yeah, a fellow brony or pegasister would have been nice to speak to.

Oh well.

>>396024396024: I know......

>>396014396014

I will not cheer for some... Pepsi-lover!

I kid, I kid.

...Maybe.

Seems interesting enough, the dynamic between the characters (Christian and Geo, that is) is really well done. Tracking!

>>396051396051

I was going for a whole 'opposites attract' kind of friendship. No romance.

Thanks for tracking.

TRACKINGS. TRACKINGS EVERYWHERE.

>>396076396076

I wasn't getting at romance at all. Heh!

But yeah, the opposites attract thing makes for very fun conversations!

>>396030396030

Ow! Right in the feelings!

I like this story. Well so far, but I have no doubt that it will stay good.

Geo and Christian are pretty well done too. And for some reason I am strangely reminded of myself when I read about Christian, (Good at games, Prefers Pepsi over coke, cold and calculating, etc) but I'm probably getting ahead of myself. Anyway, good start, hope it keeps it.

Keep writing!

>>396839396839

Heh, your wish has been granted.

Y U stop here?

Image: http://static.fjcdn.com/comments/explain+this+bullshit+_136a6d13dd8746daf28893e301ca5628.jpg

>>397710397710

I'm not sure I understand the question. Do you mean: "Why did I stop updating?" or "Why did I stop at this point in the story?"

If it is actually a different question entirely, then please restate it.

>>397723397723 It was meant as a joke....

>>397729397729

Oh.

Oops.

Damn I feel sorry for them, that is probably the worst "first contact" scenario I have ever read... And I love it, keep up the good work!

(I also can't wait for Christian's revenge, heh heh heh )

This is quite simply put...hilarious! Keep it up!

Stay frosty!

~Hazard~

>>397851397851 I have to agree, I think this takes the cake for the worst non-lethal first contact i've ever seen.

You fail to disappoint, keep up the great work!

P. S. Christian is best human!

>>398596398596

I am, aren't I?

>>397961397961

Now when you say worst...do you mean 'bad for them' worst or 'this plot is terrible' worst? I hope the former is true.

Ha! This was excellent. What a terrible first impression (and I mean that in the best of ways!).

Very well done chapter. As many have said that is the best worst first encounter ever. Good job

>>398811398811 I mean it as the "good job convincing the peace-loving ponies you eat them" worst.

I sense BitchLestia, Twibitch, Raricunt , Spiketard, Rainbowtard, Applef**k  will make an appearance ! God damn it , Chris dont give in, never apologize , its their fault, but stay smart and wait for the perfect moment. You have been assaulted, and captured against your own will, better do something about it !

Its gonna be TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!! WITH THEM

I am enjoying this also, why did they not simply explain they didn't know fluttershy was sentient?

I hate how in pretty much every HiE story with this kind of first contact, it's always the humans who are righteously fucked over and get captured.

I LOVE THIS!

*slowly dying in my own drool* MUST HAVE MORE!

So the ponies throw ponies who are mean in dungeons?

Are you going to write 'I'm sorry Geo' at the end of each chapter?

... This is now officially the best human in Equestra fic I have ever read.

Bravo sir, bravo.

(Edit) Oh and keep up the good work!

>>401673401673

...Really?!

I know at least three that are far superior. 'My Second Life' by Coal Buck, 'The God Particle' my EquZephyr, and 'The Mystery of a New World' by Fanthrose. Try those.

Although, I do appreciate the comment. Thank you! All of my gratitude!

>>400998400998

Yes. Yes I am.

>>400112400112

Don't worry. Christian gets them back...

>>399854399854

Christian: Mhmhmhmhm...fret no longer, faithful reader, for my vengeance is coming. I have already broken the spirit of Spike and Rarity...if the rest are that easy...

Though Fluttershy...intrigues me...I am not sure what to do with her...

Heheheheh! how very EVIL of you!

Very good story so far, not like the constant flow of crappy self-inserts that we usually get. Also, Christian kinda reminds me of death the kid out of soul eater.

>>401718401718 "Slap my ass!"

Stay frosty!

~Hazard~

>>401739401739

Come on! Slap it! Slap it now!

>>401747401747 God I love the Spy class!

Stay frosty!

~Hazard~

YES  CRUSH THEIR WILLS HAHAHAHAHA ! keep fighting the good fight Christian, you have my support .

Obsservation; Christian is an arrogant, soulless douchebag. Appears to think he knows more than he does (Seriously, he thinks that just because Geo's taking longer to wake up that she probably has brain damage? And that Dashie's mane colour's a sign of lesbianism after seeing the others colours (implication; fails to assume it might be natural)? Not criticism though.). Refuses to view sentient entities as equals, even if same species. Seems to think he's in power when has been shown unicorns have telekinesis, could easily dispose of iphone. Arrogance prevents him from taking reasonable way out. ... Predict/hope for satisfying retribution biting him in the ass with reinforced, steel fangs.

Geo seems... insufficient data for proper analysis. Appears nicer than the other guy, refusing to consume a sentient, more prone to anger, but far less egocentric and easier to get along with... Personality may be comparible to Rainbow Dash. May be completely wrong, so these are open to change.

Very nice work so far mate.

Go, Chris!

Troll! Troll those talking ponies!

>>401967401967

That is...a perfect analysis.

Well done.

>>401967401967

Also, in humans, if one is unconscious for any longer than five minutes, that can actually be brain damage. The movies over play it.

This may only apply to actual head trauma, though.

I love it!

Although at some parts of the story, they seem like robots.

BTW, is this one of those stories where the main characters end up in Equestria, their personalities are bad, they spend time with the mane 6 and they eventually become better people?

e.g Christian becomes less cold and opens his heart more and Georgina (sorry, Geo) becomes less hot-headed?

>>402255402255

Thank ya kindly.

Yeah, Charles Dickens I am not, but the real character development comes in later.

Eww, no. Geo, maybe, but I promise that Christian will remain an arrogant sociopathic douche throughout.

>>402261402261

Part of me likes that he's gonna stay the same

But another part of me wants him to change.

Oh well, I better keep on reading!

>>402268402268

Christian: I refuse to change! What, did you honestly believe that a simple encounter with equines capable of speech would cause me to actually care about others? Hardly. These animals took me against my will, and I will see them suffer for it. Mentally, of course, as is my style.

>>401691401691

Oh gosh

>>402277402277  

"...."

>>402285402285

>>402289402289

I don't even know anymore...

Image: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/131/786/tumblr_ljkeuyjp1a1qafrh6.gif?1318992465

man Christian is an major ass, ti will take quite long, if at all he gets them to trust and like him.

good story btw was a fun read

Sorry,Georgina

>>401998401998 Heheh. Thanks mate, just stating my theories from what ya gave us. Again, it's a good story (Nice to see ya intended for him to be a dick, wasn't certain.)

Hmm. Was unaware of that, may have to take into consideration... Taken into consideration. He had no idea how long either of them were out for, little evidence to base conclusion.

Additional observation; There is nowhere to charge his iphone (Or at least no chargers for it). Even if the unicorns forget about telekinesis, the battery won't last forever. He seems to have overlooked that the ponies are in charge despite the obvious implications, he left a lousy first impression and is unaware that if others find out, they may be.... less patient with an entity fully willing to consume a sentient. And that things function differently in this world, something a blind monkey on Venus could see (unsure if exaggeration or not.).

Wow, this kid's an idiot.

>>402539402539

Christian is something of an idiot savant.

Give him a question on physics, chemistry, algebra or Shakespeare, and nearly everything in between, and he can give you the right answer in a heartbeat.

He believes that because he is a genius in these fields, he is better than everyone and everypony else. He is overconfident in his intelligence, and seems to think that he can get away with almost anything. While one will admit he does think quickly, he rarely considered how his actions will affect others, unless he is specifically trying to hurt them, or if it involves the only person he even remotely cares about besides himself. (Geo, if you didn't guess).

In short, he is not an idiot. He simply lacks most forms of common sense. And while that, in a way, makes him an idiot, he will try his damnest to screw people over at every turn, because why the hell not?

>>402539402539

The story will eventually reveal why he is such a dick, but for now, sit back, relax, and watch as he revels in what he thinks is his dominance over the Mane Six.

this story.....................IS THE BEST "evil human in equestria"-type fic I HAVE EVER READ ^_^

keep up the good work (and the asshole-ness of christian)

I really like Christian... Eeh and this fic of course...

Well done with this chapter, I originally thought this fic would be so-so, but to my surprise, your actually doing a good job with it.

Christians awesome too..... although the odd and in some ways, scary, similarities he has with me are a little strange. Once again, I'm getting ahead of myself,  but really he talks like me, looks like me, acts like me; its very peculiar. A friend of mine read the fic, and even without me telling him about our similarities,got the connection, and asked me about it right after. Its a little freaky. Anyway, good story so far. Probably the best Human in Equestria fic I've read yet (I have experienced quite a few)

Man! What a douche!

...On that note, keep it up!

I love Hanniba- I mean Christian.

This is not by any means the best HiE I've read. But it is DEFINITELY up there.

why did you end the chapters with "Sorry, Geo."?

>>403752403752

I need a reason?

>>403735403735

Why thank you. I'll be sure to keep up the good work.

>>403607403607

Huh...I've never really looked at it that way. he does seem a little like Lector...

>>403456403456

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Really though, I'm glad you're enjoying it.

MAKE GEO WAKE UP

i love this story so far.....

and also....christian is an ASS

i like Geo better, or was geo the one who was smart?

either way, i liked the non brash/hot headed one better

Hopefully Geo will wake up soon and show them that there are good and bad humans and why they tried to eat FS

>>405162405162

Geo: Oh, don't be such a baby. I'll be fine, I'll wake up soon.

>>405239405239

Christian: Imagine Geo as a...well, imagine her like you. Whoever you are, you cannot possibly compare to me on the intellectual scale, and are thus all the same in my eyes.

Geo: Don't listen to him. I'm smarter than he gives me credit for, and you are too.

Christian: Yet, you fell for the fake pregnancy test I left in your bathroom.

Geo: I'll never forgive you for that. Prick.

>>405712405712

i admire christian, though he can be an ass

I'm starting to like Christian more every chapter

... Okay! My hatred for this prick has gone from "I want to disembowel him with rusty cutlery" to "I want to point and laugh after having a wasps nest shoved up his ass." And he treats the Princesses, a pair he KNOWS hold all the power, as inferiors and expects no retribution?

He claims he... DIDN'T want to eat Fluttershy after discovering her sentience? Can't help but wonder if the thought of admitting he was wrong ever crossed his simultaneously brilliant yet staggeringly idiotic mind.

Still a very good story mate. Amazed how fast you're churning them out.

Also, didn't actually expect the phone crushing. Glad it happened though.

>>406387406387

I'm going to try and pump out a chapter daily. Glad Christian is getting the hate he deserves.

I actually enjoy hearing your thoughts on my story, and on Christian in particular.