Excited to try out her secret new apple-and-cinnamon cupcake recipe, Pinkie Pie bakes a batch and heads for Sweet Apple Acres, believing Applejack to be the best judge of apple-tasting baked goods in Ponyville. When Applejack makes an off-hoof comment, Pinkie Pie may just surprise her friend with more than her delicious pastries.
Based on an off-hand comment made to me by HiddenUnderACouch. Also partially inspired by Mondai Shunketsu's story, Family Matters. You legend.
Pre-read and edited by HiddenUnderACouch and MissingLink.
Rated teen for innuendos.
Featured on Fimfiction.net 04/24/14. Many thanks to those of you who helped break my featured virginity.
Chapters (1)
lol
Gotta love them misinterpretations
when's the clop edition getting released?
This was too good!
4280221
Whenever you wanna start writing it
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spoiled sport
funny!
This amuses me.
::snickering consistently at this point::
::lost it::
Unintended double entendres galore. Very nice job!
This... this is awesome!
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Excellent, mission successful! Thanks for the reads and comments
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Thank you, sir.
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You can blame Mondai Shunketsu for the seed of the idea. Go check out Family Matters if you haven't already, it's glorious! And thanks for the read.
Oh, Pinkie.
It swings both ways now
4280627
Indeed it does.
I've got a couple of things to say about this.
1) The story almost seemed too long for its intentions. The main reason for it is that there isn't really any comedy until the punchline. I'd imagine you could drop at least 500 words and actually make it better. The story reads like a slice of life, to me, until the punchline, which I admit made me chuckle.
2) Almost perfect grammar, but I still found errors. Tiny errors, but errors nonetheless.
9.4/10
Overall, quite a good first attempt at comedy: I did enjoy it. And mechanically solid, like all your work.
Edit: A feature looks promising. . . .
This gave me a hearty chuckle. I can always enjoy a good innuendo, and a good intheirendo as well.
It's nice to see Pinkie written as excitable silly... as opposed to excitable-stupid, as I've sometimes seen. This was an entertaining little anecdote, and it left me wondering just how much Pinkie really 'gets'.
Thanks for this positive display of how to write Pinkie Pie. I need examples like this for my own plans with her.
This really stirred my curd...
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Hmmm. Quite possibly, I could lose a few words... I really wanted to be able to submit this to certain places, though, so I may have thrown in a little extra detail where I wouldn't have normally.
Pretty good grammar score, mind PMing me some fixes?
Edit: all corrections made, cheers, dude
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Glad to be of service
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Thanks, dude. I'm glad I was able to get her character down well. I've never really written about Pinkie before (except in Flight of the Pegasi) where she's been the central focus of the story. I wondered if she would turn out all right or not. Pleased to read your words, glad you enjoyed the story
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Better than grinding your gears, I guess. Thanks for the read
Legit, mate.
This is a really cute story, I had a tonne of fun reading it. Have a like and favourite.
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Thanks a bunch
Derferk
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Er ner, rert?
4281193 Werts dert? I cernt understernt you.
The setup was a little too long, and the joke was a touch obvious; but the characterisations and dialogue were very well written, and it made me smile.
of approval!
Have an up-vote and Big Mac
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Thank you kindly for the feedback.
I actually found myself thinking that also, once I hit the 2k word mark. Still, I wrote it in four hours with a self-imposed deadline.
Glad you enjoyed the characterisation, I honestly doubted whether I'd pulled off Pinkie Pie well enough.
This was great!
The setup was nice, and delivered the punchline well, I thought. Sure it was long, but I like em long
Good job, Voice. Once more you've amazed me with your literary prowess.
(also, the bit with drunk Aj and Pinkie, I couldn't help but imagine the same scenario between you and Chrono after a few drinks.)
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Aw yeah, Mondai-approved. Cheer, bloke.
Welp, looks like he's trying to ship us, Chrono. Are you gonna buy into this?
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As if, he's mine. ALL mine.
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Whoa, whoa. Hang on.
There's plenty of me to go around.
I knew that was most likely going to be what happened, but it ended way better than I thought.
Oh sweet Celestia.
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What were you saying about a feature?
Very funny :P That's sound like a very pinkie mistake to make!
I enjoyed drunk AJ and Pinks! We need more drunk ponies
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Called it.
Congratulations on getting featured! A thumbs up for this cute little short tale from me to you.
Nice work for just 4 hours.
s6.postimg.org/dd47s96ap/Pirate_Approved.jpg
I was eating and right when pinkie decided to make her comment about helping I started to choke on my food in laughter. Are you TRYING to kill someone!?
how did pinkie not have a hangover? Also, i choked on a cheese puff when reading the last part!
Not bad, not bad.
You don't cook food with coal! It fouls the food, you use coke, a refined coal that's safe. Coke is to coal as kerosine is to oil.
Second, the Cakes don't insist Pinkie leaves a sparkling kitchen, it's the only way to leave a safe, healthy kitchen.
Saw that ending coming. Guess this story wasn't my thing.
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Oh wow, I was not actually aware of that fact. You learn something new every day
Thanks for reading anyway, your feedback is appreciated.
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Cheers, bloke.
Quite hilarious, if you ask me.
This was really very good. I didn't think it was overlong at all, and you captured Pinkie and AJ very well (as someone else said, it's nice to see Pinkie being written as silly rather than stupid). The ending was very funny.
oh, pinkie pie... you so random
Eh. Not enough of this story had to do with innuendo. That makes me sad. Too much of this story was about cupcakes. Now, I really want to eat cupcakes and I didn't get enough innuendo jokes to laugh about.
Good story, though, just not what I was hoping for.
I don't know if this is a me thing
but how the hell does this even happen
what does she do? How does a pony use a pitchfork? I just can't imagine it.
I have to ask: Wouldn't frosting the muffins before they've cooled melt the frosting? And aren't muffins usually unfrosted? (That's cupcake territory I believe)
She twirled her own muffin around on her hoof and stared as Applejack bit off half her cupcake in a single bite.
So which is it, Muffins or cupcakes? Apple-cinnamon seems muffin-ish, but frosting is usually for cupcakes. Did she make both? Is it some new creation where the lines between muffins and cupcakes have become blurred?
Either way, besides that this was a great story.
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2014/090/f/3/applejack_loves_tonic_by_pixelkitties-d7cdc4a.png
Applejack approved.
That awkward moment when you and your friend are drunk and he/she starts warming up to youi.imgur.com/Vg4BN.gif
Awkward...