An ancient evil is rising, but with the Elements of Harmony returned to the Tree of Harmony it may be unstoppable. Fortunately for Equestria, there exist other worlds, with their own Harmony magics. Two people from one such world have been brought to Equestria, and will soon have the chance to help save it.
This fic is a crossover with the Ar Tonelico series, a niche JRPG developed by Gust and Banpresto. They’re notable for having a fairly unique setting (thanks to a giant disaster all survivors are living on top of giant magic-tech supercomputers), an oddly feminist tone for a niche JRPG, and really sweet music. (Too bad the third game forgot point two.) Although each of the games are flawed in their own way, I feel like the good outweighs the bad, at least for the first two. After noticing the similarities between certain characters in the series and certain MLP characters I was inspired to write this.
Also there are massive spoilers for Ar Tonelico 1, 2, and probably Qoga but oh well. Studies claim that spoilers actually increase your enjoyment of things anyway! You can find a text LP for the first Ar Tonelico here.
Seeing this one is a most pleasant surprise! I'm rather weak in my Ar Tonelico, since it's been years since I played the games (and never actually beat 2), but I could appreciate a whole lot of this!
The emphasis on Mir as the main character makes me have mixed feelings. Perhaps because I know more of the first game, I have this mind to be against her, despite her story being admittedly pretty sad and endearing in its own way. I never knew Jacqli would come to marry Croix, though I do remember liking her a bit more as Jacqli, which takes me to my first point: those characters felt well in-character from what I know and can remember, so I commend you for that! And the story seems to be focusing mostly on the parallels between both words, which is a great approach. It's almost overused here, but it gets point for being an interesting study. The referring to the triangular nuclear loop was the highest point for me in that regard. And there's also constant references to aspects of the games, which I deeply appreciate.
As far as the writing goes, it does feel a bit stale at times, but it's probably unfair to say this because you've been skipping scenes well, keeping only the more interesting bits for the audience to see. And I do know this build-up for the characters to get to know the world will probably lead to conflict further on: mainly with Mir, since Equestria is so much closer to the utopia of Reyvateils she wanted to create than their actual world. It just felt like some bits were drawn out a tad more than they should, even if we could see the punchline coming. Most notably, the scene with Rarity trying out a new dress on Jacqli. But that's minor, and it seemed like most of the others went straight to where they should, with nice dialog and some humor, so it's actually all pretty good. My main gripe so far has been with Twilight, I think, and I admit, it's purely out of how I interpret the character. I'd imagine Twilight's paranoia would throttle up to 11 when seeing Jacqli, her strange horn, strange suit, strange questionings and strange book requests. If even Flash Sentry registered that the last unicorn with oddly-shaped horn they heard about was Sombra, I'd expect Twilight to do the same and go nuts over that, do some ultimately failing research and perhaps keep them under strict watch until she unearths the truth from them. But you probably shouldn't mind me. As I said, I guess this goes back mostly to character view.
... I'm... really bothered by how easy Mir has everything so far, but that's not something to complain about. It's freakin' Mir, I know how obscenely powerful she can be.
Amazing story so far, my friend. Keep up the good work!
I regret that I have only one like to give!
Seriously, I was just thinking of doing an Artonelico story, since the parallels between the two series are so spot on (song magic being a sort of equivalent to the elements of friendship and harmony) and Mir's relations to Luna and the Nightmare Moon are spot on.
Alas, you beat me to it, you magnificent author, you! But, I can still be the first to make to make them in their human forms!
This said, you have all my respect for this. Ar Tonelico is a very niche, very Japanese RPG, and it gets a lot of flak for its innuendo and fan service without focusing on the deeper history and elements of the story.
I will watch this with bated breath.
Huh, it seems I've screwed up and somewhere in editing I removed any mention of what Mir's cutie mark looks like from CH1. WHOOPS
Excellent! I love how you portrayed the ponies in Mir's mind doing bipedal movements and noting that it would be anatomically impossible for them, or very uncomfortable at the very least.
So, essentially, did Mir just do the equivalent of ripping a disc image on her own song magic, but creating copies of hymn crystals?
This chapter pleases me! Another! (insert GIF from first Thor movie here, if I wasn't too lazy to find one.) Mir mentoring an impressionable young Cutie Mark Crusader--this can only end well!
If you don't mind that is.
I feel slightly ashamed, however, as an Ar Tonelico fan that I have no idea who the cloaked figure could be, if it is indeed a character from the franchise.
5155918 It's actually Tirek under that cloak. This story starts around Twilight Time and diverges from there, so he's still in his depowered form.
Also, (slightly bigger spoiler) I was contemplating changing that part when I saw what happened with Tirek in your story, because he's going up against Mir face to face now.
Chapter 5 has been preread but will be expanded and revised. I'm trying to exit the "exposition zone" as fast as I can.
5157170 I'm just happy that there's another Ar Tonelico story on the site. You needn't ever feel the need to have to change any part of your story, planned or otherwise, for fear that you may think your going to copy me. With Mir arguably being the character whom the Ar Tonelico story tells its trilogy about throughout the three games as well as the salvation of the world, it's no surprise that she and the few major villains that MLP has will face off.
I look forward to it. He's either going to be curb-stomped or something exciting is going to happen with his ability
Yeah, I have the same problem. Ar Tonelico has such a extensive lore and world history that I just want to "Words, words, blah, blah" and sadly I still haven't gotten to any cool song magic.: ajsleepy:
I'm looking forward to the next chapter that's for sure.
From Phase 1: Awakenings, Part 2 (Revised):
Sure, Rarity, you tell yourself that..
I love this crossover up to now, especially because MIR!
Though there is one little typo in this chapter. It's not Exo Pica, but Exa Pico.
I'm looking forward to the real chapter when it comes out. When do you think you'll have it?
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I'm not actually sure. It depends on when I hear back from the prereader and what they say.
If I don't hear back by the end of the week I'll do another non-canon interlude. I'm still thinking of which pony to pair with which AT character. I don't want to use any pairing that will get significant interaction during the planned story though. Spica and Flim&Flam (I consider the two of them one character) was basically the lowest-hanging fruit.
Yay! An update!
Oh boy, I'm sure Twilight will freak when she finds out she's from a different world unlike the one she spend in.
An update?1 Awesome!
I love the nod to Rainbow Rocks there.
That was beyond awesome! Sweetie owning Tirek like that, wow, really made my morning. I totaly loved the little story with Starswirl and Clover that was used in Sweeties song. <3
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Thanks. I knew going in that describing an Ar-Tonelico style fight could easily get boring as hell, since you could often summarize it as "the Vanguard does stuff to buy time until the Reyvateil one-shots the enemy". I knew I had to come up with some interesting thing for the Reyvateil's portion of things.
It's great to see an update to this story!
And what's wrong with Pinkie?
6656289 Pinkie is seeing Mir as her connection to the Ar Tonelico system.
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6656806 Oh! I mixed them up, so Pinkie is seeing Croixes un-magicness?
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Thanks.
I never played the games so i'm unfamiliar with it.
6665430 Well, Mir did explain that humans from her world could not use magic so that might have carried over in some way even with the pegasi transformation.
NEED MOAR!!!
Man, that ending.
You already know, but I salute you for this!
Noooo, Twilight it only bloomed because Mir doesn't know that time travel is a thing in Equestria!
Croix, please! You don't care that much about authority if they start being stupid, knock some sense into Twilight before she makes your wife angry!
On second thought, that might confirm Twilight's suspicions in her head and have you both arrested so please do it verbally.Yikes, that escalated quickly. Stupid Applejack-Flower, not considering trans-dimensional magical knowledge. Let´s get ready to rrr~rrumble!
Interesting....
How is the next part coming?
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Progress is a bit slow because of the holidays, and because I have a few other projects crammed into this time period.
Gods-damn it, Twilight, you're being made entirely of stupid, here. Gah, this is going to get nasty really fast, and I place the blame almost entirely on Twilight for it.
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Ha, so funny story. That comment (and some back-and-forth with my prereader) made me realize I messed up a bit with Rainbow Dash, so I've modified her objection to something that makes more sense, and marked the chapter as revised.
Also, it's not just Twilight jumping to conclusions. Mir's reflexive distrust of authority figures is responsible for escalating the situation as well. If she'd come clean on exactly what she is, Twilight could have picked up on the word "human" and this might have been avoided.
Honestly, Twilight needs her Princess liscence revoked as fast as possible and put into an asylum. I can´t even word what an utterly braindead moron she is here. Rainbow too. Lobotomized henchmare.
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There's very few things more Ar Tonelico that forgiving your enemies to team up against some really bad guy, so I needed to give Mir an enemy (or a selection of enemies) to later forgive and team up with.
I've always seen Twilight's central flaw (well, after S1E2) being that she has trouble dealing with her own emotions. A life spent not feeling that much has left her vulnerable to being swept away by strong emotions. Compare this with when she nearly splatted the real Cadence in the mines during the wedding. Twilight has no idea how to deal emotionally with having, from her perspective, the Changeling that murdered Sunset Shimmer right in front of her.
In a way it's fortunate for her that Mir was around for her to get some practice dealing with that level of emotion, since Mir can take a hit or two and has learned a great deal about forgiveness.
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My point still stands. Utterly. Braindead! She did not even hesitate one measly second but just jumped straight to blasting and torturing Mir to death. Not attempting to arrest, nope, kill now, ask questions never. Bravo Twilight, you´ve just done every W40k "hero" proud and are rapidly becoming worst Princess ever (at least in this story).
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Yes, but it is a well worn trope of the MLP fan fic community to have Twilight insist that she is right and forge ahead, damn the consequences! While initially percieved as overtly OoC for Twilight, it is usually later explained in future chapters and given explanation.
Also, as the author jqnexx said, this more happened due to the story and themes prevalent in the AT series, so having Twilight act like is more like a plot device to move the events of the story down their eventual desired path. Did Twilight perhaps fly off the handle? Yes. Is there basis in canon for her reacting this way to Changelings, even if it is exagerrated in the fan fic, as fan fiction is want to do? Arguably yes. Twilight in this story, while seeming cold blooded, is not so OoC character in her actions to be a villian, and is more guilty of ignorance and assumption and hubris. Of course, it is up to the author to properly justify Twilight's behavior and then the apologies and friendship, as is the norm and theme of MLP, to accomplish.
Of course, I admit to perhaps being bias, being a fan of AT and the beta for the story.
And I really need to stop typing paragraph responses to things that really interest me.... this is a comment box not a soap box.
As for Rainbow Dash... Well, she's loyal to her friends, and, well, Rainbow Dash... Not an excuse, but well, it is like her to have Twilight's back... even if not exactly intelligent....
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Touché.
While I personally absolutly HATE this type of miss understanding, but I can understand why this rabbit hole is going so deep.
*heavy cat breathing noises*
Well then.
FINALY!
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You guys are going to be so mad when the next chapter opens with Applebloom or Sunset Shimmer.
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*screaming cat noises*
Iiintresting...
*silently starring cat noises*
As someone who had several nasty brushes with pissed of swans in the past, I can wholeheartly agree. A single angry swan is more terryfing than a whole mob of pissed honey badgers.
Also, hot damn, you just can´t give us any moment to relax, do ya?
And so Harmony falls
I blame you and this story for introducing me to my new obsession go fuck yourselves,,, Now if you excuse me I need to get back to 100% Ar Tonelico 2.
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It's unfortunate that Ar Tonelico 3 (and Ar Nosurge) couldn't quite live up to Ar Tonelico 2.
Uhh... Waffling over bringing this up or not, but I frequent one of the forums aquagon shows up at from time to time. He's one of the guys that's involved in translating pretty much everything AT for those who don't know.
The TOWER CONNECTION level Song isn't actually a laser, its a point blank explosion of energy like any other Song functions.
Oh hi Starlight glimmer who is probably from the future.
Oh come on, again SERIOUSLY
Chapter formatting is out of whack