the pinkie we all know has secret feelings about the world that she dosnt let anyone else see. yet she stills manages to remain her usual perky self throught the days, always trying to keep her annoyed thoughts to herself as shown in this short story told told from her owne perspective.
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I don't know if it is just me or what, but for me it's extremely hard to follow. I would work on the continuity of the story more.
Also I would add capitals and work on grammar.
389353 admitably i may have slacked a little on grammer, but its my first finished fan fic and im proude of it, although any advice is always appreceated
Dude I could fix the grammar for u lol. Not a problem.
Very interesting fine sir. I can see the motives for her to act like this, having to choose between what you are good at instead of what you like. Grammar needs work, capitals and such, but its fine mainly. It is very well written, have 4 spikes and a rarity.
Anyway, good story, definitely good for the first time. I have yet to write one of these, so do not take my critiques to hard. Maybe I should try
anyway, keep writing, I look forward to hearing more from you in the future.
P.S. I forgot to add critiques. Just more capitols and grammar, as mussk said, transitions would make it a bit better to follow. But as your first fic, you have something to be proud of here. I cannot write this well, very philisophical.
390250 sory alex, i just got a little impacient and just posted what i had...390470 much appriceaed, its good to here you liked the story even if it didnt have the best grammer, but ill try to work on that in my next story, which ive alredy started if your interested
Um you shoudl've expanded this and had Pinkie Pie give a better reason for her anger. Maybe it's her Pinkamena self showing up again, maybe she never quite got over the feeling of her surpirse birthday when she thought her friends had deserted her.
I think your idea is good but you haven't answered a lot of ''whys?'' in this. I get that Pinkie Pie hates her friends, but I never understand why because Pinkie just quietly hurls insults at them but I'm not shown what makes them so horrible! Was it because she never got over the feeling that her friends had abandoned her in ''Party of one''? And you need to work on your grammar.
413758 honestly, i didnt make up a reason why, she just hates everyone, but if i were to continue the story, ide probably say its because of her up-bringings on the rock farm, she never left her pinkamena side behind or something...
Maybe you should continue this story? I think it's certainly good enough to continue and give more insight on everything.
587179 I think i actually might, i just have to think of a good place to go from here
587190 I got plenty of ideas if you'd like to hear me out over a PM/Skype