"I would be impressed, but i'ma do better." Jeremy asserted.
Rainbow Dash squinted her eyes at him. "How are you going to do better?" She asked him. "He got every apple in the baskets. You can't do better then that unless your going to make them dump themselves in the carts too."
"Check it!" Jeremy passed me and the tree I had just stripped of it's apples. He walked up to another tree that was already set up. He drug the tips of his fingers across it. "Whoa, Jack. You were right about these weird things."
"Y'all never seen a tree before?" Applejack tilted her head. "Ah would assume so with what he just did. Ah'v never seen anypony get it on their first try before."
"That also might be because these aren't normal trees to us." I told her. "Ours are a whole lot stronger, rougher, and just generally harder. If we were in our world, you wouldn't be able to buck apples out of trees like you do here."
"Is that so..." Applejack's eyes turned to slits, she thought that I was challenging her.
"I'm not saying your weak, I'm saying that-" I was cut off by a loud thud, followed by a rushing sound. I looked over and saw that Jeremy was not there anymore; just a pile of apples. A few seconds later, a hand popped out of the top and was trying to get a hold. It grabbed a branch that was jutting out of the tree and pulled a dazed Jeremy half-way out of the stack of apples. "Not so easy, is it?" I teased. The rest of us made our way over to him, he was trying to pry himself free. Applejack took a look into the baskets.
"Ya didn't get a single apple inside the buckets." She smirked. "Yer not very good at apple-bucking."
"How are there this many apples in that tree?" Jeremy cried. "It makes no sense!"
"Silly Jeremy." I chuckled. "When will you learn that your in Equestria, they have no logic here. Have you leaned nothing from Pinkie Pie?"
"But they all came out at one spot!" He argued. "Some had to come up and over the trunk to hit me!"
"You are currently surrounded by world with talking ponies, which we teleported to." I told my friend. "Things don't have to make sense, apparently." He sighed in defeat.
Applejack and Bigmac just gave us confused expressions. "The ponies in their world don't talk." Dash informed them.
"Then how do they live with them all, then?" Applejack asked.
"They don't, kind-of. It's different from here, I'll have to show you for you to get it." She turned back to Jeremy, who was climbing out of the pile. "Your terrible at this."
"Let's see you try it then!" He barked.
"I'v done it before." Dash told him. "My first time wasn't nearly as bad."
"Prove it." He suggested.
"Fine, I will." Rainbow Dash walked up to a third tree that was also ready for harvest. How many baskets do they have? Damn, they have like fifty other trees ready... Weird. She turned around and balanced on her front legs for a slit second before striking the tree with her hind legs. The tree shook, but only about half the apples fell. They piled into the baskets, with the exception of two or three. "See, i'm better then you."
"You didn't even get all of them out!" Jeremy called out. "Mine was way better."
"She's still standing, though." I pointed out to my friend. Applejack and Bigmac pointed to me with their hoofs and nodding, motioning that they agree. Dash gave Jeremy a smirk.
"Oh, whatever." He gave up. "Your okay with him being better then you? I know that your really competitive to the point of irrationality." The two farm ponies shifted their hoofs over to point to Jeremy's thought.
"We have already settled this before we got to Equestria." I told them.
"He's stronger." Dash said.
"She's faster." I said.
"He's smarter." She admitted.
"She has better endurance." I added.
"What about who is 'cooler'" Applejack asked, cocking an eyebrow.
Rainbow Dash and I looked at each other, then back to them. "Equal." We both said in unison with a brohoof to drive our point home.
"That was a nice moment, there." Jeremy said sarcastically.
"Wait a second." Applejack shook her head. "Ya never accept that anypony is above you. Ever. Now your admitting that he's just as cool as you? Why?"
"I don't know, maybe because he's a human." Dash said. "Maybe because he is." She closed her argument with another brohoof from me, but we never dropped eye contact with them.
"I'm human, does that mean i'm just as cool too?" Jeremy asked.
"No, i'm still better then you at everything." Rainbow Dash's declaration as solidified with my knuckles tapping her hoof.
"Stop that!" Jeremy shouted.
"Stop what?" I asked, not sincere in the slightest.
"Doing that!" He said.
"Doing what?" I continued. "Brohoofing?" I asked, while tapping Dash's hoof again.
"Yes." He muttered. "Stop that."
"You've never brohoofed a pony, though." I told him with a grin. "That's probably why it seems like you have a stick up your butt all the time."I explained to him. "Any mood I'm in before, no matter what happens, I just get a brohoof, or high-five a dragon; then everything turns awesome."
"When you say that, it makes it sound like they're laced with LSD." He commented.
"The fact that it annoys you makes it delicious." Dash said.
"Do ya have any idea what they're talkin' about?" Applejack whispered over to her brother.
"Nope." He stated.
"So are y'all going to help out on the farm, or not?" Applejack asked us.
"I will." Jeremy raised his hand.
"No offense sugar, but you can't buck a squirrel off yer leg." She told him. "Jack and Dash could be useful, though."
"Wha- That doesn- What does that even mean?" Jeremy was thrown off by her metaphor. "Hold on, it was probably a bad tree, let me get another chance." He sidestepped over to the closest tree ready for bucking.
"Every tree here is the same. You are aware of this, yes?" I asked Jeremy. He just ignored me and continued prepare to punch the tree. His fist collided with the base of the tree. It vibrated once more, and once more, Jeremy was showered with red fruit. He managed to stay on his feet this time around, he looked over his shoulder and glared at me. "Don't worry about it, it's just that this world... It hates you."
He just sighed. "Every tree is going to do this?" He asked the orange farmer.
"It looks like there's a good chance, yes." She told him.
Jeremy looked straight ahead, passed us, into his thinking place. A few moments passed until Rainbow Dash whispered over to me. "How long does this normally take?"
"It depends." I whispered back. "Varies from ten seconds to an hour." She chuckled. "I wouldn't doubt it, though. When he comes out he usually gets it right."
"So he goes into that look for a while then he gets an answer to something?"
"I got an idea." Jeremy announced. He jumped over to the next tree and grabbed all the baskets around the tree. Instead of spreading them out, he surrounded himself with them. He struck the tree for a third time. The apples hailed down on Jeremy, but they also landed inside the baskets. When the hailing ceased, he opened his eyes and looked around him. at the full baskets of apples. He turned around and beamed at us. "I did it!" He shouted victoriously.
"Yea, you win." Applejack said sarcastically.
"Hey, they're in the buckets, aren't they?" He returned.
"Your going to do every tree like that?" Dash asked him with a hopeful grin.
"I don't feel like picking them up after, so yes." Jeremy reported.
"As entertaining as that sounds, I'm kind of hungry." I tapped Dash. "Want to go get some food?"
She narrowed her eyes and stared back. "Get out of my head."
"Wait, I thought that you were going to help!" Jeremy stopped us from walking away.
"No, I said that I was going to teach you your place." I reminded him. "I help people on the weekends when i'm working."
"Ah knew that Rainbow wasn't going to help, at least not willingly." Applejack commented.
"You got Jeremy, although he probably is half what Bigmac is." Rainbow Dash told her. "See ya!"
"Have fun on your date!" Jeremy taunted as we walked away.
"We will, you have fun with what your doing." I shouted back while presenting my middle finger behind me.
As we left, I heard Applejack ask Jeremy: "Why's he holdin' up his finger like that?"
"So where you want to eat?" Dash asked me as we walked through the town. I looked around at the different stores and stalls surrounding us.
"You're going to have to tell me, I have no idea what's here." I told her.
"Do you want to just grab something fast or sit down inside somewhere?" She asked.
"I don't feel like having a sit down lunch." I stated. "I feel like i'm under-dressed for a restaurant."
She stopped and looked at me. "You realize that your over-dressed now, just by wearing clothes?"
"Ooh, now I feel fancy." I joked, rubbing my tattered, blue, hoodie.
"Yea, I bet you do." She commented as we came up to a stall that was dispensing food to other ponies. The stallion inside looked like he was the only one in there, he had a apron and a hairnet over him mane. "Hey let me get a daisy salad and a..." She turned to me. "You like fries right?"
"Yea. Wait." I hesitated. "What are they made out of?"
"Hay." She answered.
"Hay, potatoes, same difference." I said, I pulled out my wallet. "How much is it?"
"Three bits, but it's okay, I got it." She told me.
"It's fine, are bits the same as dollars?" I handed the pony in the stall three ones. He took them and examined them; then proceeded to shove the money in his mouth. I just watched him chew my money and swallow it like it was a salad.
"Thanks, where'd you get those from?" He asked me with a smile.
Rainbow Dash tapped my shins. "Apparently not."
I was stunned. "That guy just ate my money..." He retreated back into his stall after Dash gave him three coins from a bag that came out of nowhere, it seemed. "I'm used to that with vending machines, but he ate my money like it was a damn cookie."
"Yea, I actually didn't know that was your money at first, either" Rainbow Dash hedged.
I turned and stared at her. "What are you saying, Dash?"
"I... May or may not have eaten one of those things when I first woke up and you left to go get apples..." She smiled.
"You ate the money that was on the desk?" I questioned her.
"It's starting to seem that way, yes." She admitted.
"That was a ten!" I ran my hands through my blonde hair. "I was wondering where that was! I thought that will stole it!"
"Maybe your money shouldn't be so delicious." She stated. "By the way, I saw that Josh kid lose his money in those machines when we were in the lunch room at your school. He started flipping out when he didn't get it back."
"Yea, because it's really frustrating!" I continued. "What if that guy in there just took your three little coins in there and put them into his mouth like damn, tic-tacs?"
"I'd laugh, because he would learn from his mistake a few hours later." She chuckled, I snickered a little too.
"I get seven fifty an hour." I explained to Rainbow Dash. "Most of us don't kick four clouds and call it a day and get paid a crazy amount of money like, I assume, you do." She nodded in agreement. "He ate close to thirty minuets of work just now. I'm angry."
"What do you do anyway?" She asked me, grinning, hopeful for a humorous response.
"I work at a fast food chain." I replied.
"Great, and that means..." She trailed off.
"Well, I pretty much do what he's doing." I motioned to the stallion in the stall. "Just I bet mine is a lot worse, in many different ways."
"I'll have to see, do you have a uniform?" She giggled.
"Yes." I muttered.
"Aww, now i'm exited!" She cheered. The stallion came back to the window with two trays of a salad and a pile of french fries that look a little discolored. I grabbed the trays and thanked him for our food. We walked over and sat at a outside table.
"These fries look kind of... dark." I remarked, examining one of the french fries in my hand.
"Just try it, they all look like that." Dash told me.
I took a bite out of the fried hay and noticed little changes. It was obviously not just fried hay, it was probably ground up and then had something added to make it hold together while he fried it. It was less dense then they were in my world, but that was a good thing. "Pretty good, I was expecting it to taste like hay."
"It's better then your fries, isn't it?" She asserted. "Our food is better." She declared as she ate her salad.
"How can you say that when you just ate a flower?" I asked her. "The fries taste pretty much the exact same as ours, I thought that they would be bad coming from a world filled with herbivores." She just gave me a confused stare. "Things that don't eat meat." I sighed.
She started laughing out of nowhere, I tilted my head. "Is Zecora still waiting on me delivering that book to her? She lives in the woods so I don't think that she know i'm back yet!"
"I had forgotten where you got that book from..." I trailed off, remembering the day before.
"What now? Do we have to give it to her?" She asked me, a little sad that it wasn't ours.
"We probably should." I suggested. "After we use it one more time."
"Yes!" Dash exclaimed. "I was wondering what we were going to do the rest of the day!"
"Hold on a second, I want to see how many trees Jeremy has done since we left." I told her, I chuckled at the thought. "He most likely has some brain damage."
"That's implying that he didn't already have brain damage." She snickered. "Are you done?" I narrowed my eyes and looked down to her tray; she had already eaten her salad.
"Damn! You're fast at everything you do!" I grinned.
"Sorry, was hungry." She said as we got up. I picked up the cardboard bowl that was on my tray and followed Rainbow Dash back to the farm. "You probably think i'm gross."
"Pfft. I don't like prissy, high-class girls. I love that fact that your lazy and you down food with a purpose." I told her while we walked back to see Jeremy and Applejack. "When girls are all dressed up and polite and everything, I'm just not into it. When a girl lays in bed all morning and gets up around twelve, I love it."
"Is that a compliment?" She asked me with a smirk.
"I think so." I added. "I also have a weird thing with short girls and multi-colored hair..." I trailed off. "And my favorite color is blue." I tugged on my dark blue hoodie. "So you're all around awesome to me for many different reasons."
"Thanks. You're sticking with the weird thing?" She asked with a giggle.
"You know I am!" I replied.
"Is he dead?" Dash asked me while we stood above Jeremy, who was laying face down on the ground. Applejack was still bucking apples, she hadn't noticed that we came back yet. I brushed Jeremy with my foot.
"I'm not sure." I said. "Hey, Applejack!" I called her over. She paused right before she kicked another tree and spotted us by my friend on the ground.
"Y'all are back!" She stated while she trotted over to us.
"Yeah, So... What's up with him?" I kicked Jeremy softly.
"He worked so hard he passed out, kind-of." She snickered.
"Awww, he got all tuckered out." Rainbow Dash chuckled.
"Did he help at all?" I asked her.
"He sure did!" She reported. "Once he got the hang of it, he bucked like eighty trees!"
"Why?" Dash asked. "Jeremy doesn't seem like the one to help others, let alone until he passes out."
"Applejack is his favorite, as I'v said before. He was probably trying to earn her respect." I answered. "Did it work?" I looked to Applejack for a response.
"Anypony who works until they can't anymore like he just did, is okay in my book!" She smiled.
"Why does he care if she respects him or not?" Dash questioned.
"Because as you noticed before, we still have values of our own. And he might look like he's passed out, but he's not really there yet." I revealed. I bent down closer to Jeremy. "Hey Jeremy, Me and Dash are going back. You want to come too to get some food?"
"Yeah, i'm starving." He responded with his face still in the dirt. "I thought you two just ate?"
"Yeah, but you didn't." I kicked my friends head, trying to get him up. "We're going back anyway, might as well take you with us."
"Is Applejack coming?" He asked while he mustered all the strength he could to get himself off the ground.
Dash and I glanced at Applejack to see her response. She shrugged. "Sure, we got a lot of work done today." She patted Jeremy on the back while he was trying to stand up from a crouched position.
"Taco Bell?" He suggested.
"Taco Bell!" I confirmed. The two ponies looked at us with confused countenances.
"Mexican fast food restaurant." Jeremy explained. Rainbow Dash, who had been with me at school for geography class, made a face that told us that she understood. Applejack maintained her confusion. "You'll see." Dash touched Jeremy's knee, preparing for the crossover. I, on the other hand, flicked his forehead. In an instant later we were in my living room. I had to pause to pay my toll for bringing Jeremy with us. While I was coughing, Jeremy was rubbing his forehead and getting a retaliatory response ready. Before he could do whatever he was going to do, Dash touched me and we went back and grabbed Applejack and brought her too.
"Hold on a second Y'all! Ah, can't see nothin'!" She called out. I couldn't answer yet, I was coughing blood into a rag that was on the table next to me.
"Jack?" We heard my mother shout my name from behind us. We turned around and saw that she was angry and irritated. "Where have you been? I got a call from the school saying that you weren't there! Why are you coughing so much?" She then noticed Applejack rubbing her eyes on the ground. "Where do all of these horses come from? This one is not staying here too!"
I caught my breath from my lungs having a stroke. "If I can answer a question with a question: where have you been?"
"I told you before, I had to work late. I came home at like one in the morning so I assumed that you were asleep already!" She replied.
"Ah can see!" Applejack declared after she rubbed her eyes. "It was a lot faster this time."
"Ah, well, good news." I pointed out. My mother was still displaying irritation.
"Explain." She demanded.
"I'll take this! Jack and Rainbow Dash, here," Jeremy started, he saw us looking at him with pleading stares. He sighed and decided to leave out the part that he thought was humorous. He took a deep breath, he wanted to use one breath. "found this book and they made a drink that let them travel into Rainbow's world where they learned that they could take another person, or pony with them. Then they got a GREAT idea: 'Hey let's take Jeremy there while he's sleeping!' So then I woke up in a cartoon world, they laughed at me and they brought me back here where I slept on the couch. By the way i'm not sure how you didn't notice me, I was on the couch the entire time. They came back in the morning, I was still here. You might have already gone to work, it was like eleven. They came back and grabbed some OJ then left again for like an hour. Came back, took me with them, I met a lot of ponies like these two right here. I worked my ass off for this one here." He motioned to Applejack. "Jack, when he takes another person besides Dash, coughs up blood. That's actually an improvement from before, he used to get really bad nosebleeds that were gross. And now we're back here." He let out a huge breath, and breathed back in, trying to catch his breath again.
"So why are you here?" My mother asked.
"Cause we're going to TACO BELL!" Jeremy shouted.
"That's all impossible, none of that could have happened." My mother argued.
I pointed to the orange pony standing on my left and the blue pegasus on my right. "You're really going to say things are impossible?"
"So is she going back from where she came from?" She asked.
Dash and I laughed nervously. "Not exactly."
"What do you mean 'not exactly'?" She raised an eyebrow.
"She's actually never leaving now..." I made a weak smile. "Well, either we both are or neither, really."
"What does that mean?" She demanded.
"We actually have to stay in the same world now." Rainbow Dash explained. "So we're either going to be here or there."
"Where is there?" She asked.
"Equestria." Jeremy answered raising his hand up like a rainbow.
"You are not helping, at all right now." I told him.
"I'm not really trying to." He replied.
We shuffled towards the front door. "So, we'll leave, let you stay, and digest the information that was just presented to you. We'll be back soon." Jeremy opened the door and let the ponies out and then hopped out then door. I grabbed the handle on my way out. "I'll bring you a taco." I called before the door shut.
We stood on the front steps for a few moments in silence. Until Applejack broke the silence. "Ah was lost that entire time."
"Yeah, it was pretty awkward." Dash commented.
I started towards my car, I had grabbed my car keys on my way out the door. "Alright, let's leave. Now."
"How far away is this place? Are we walkin'" Applejack asked as I opened my car door.
"We would walk the five miles there, or we could use his car." Jeremy suggested.
"What's a car." She asked, while I slid into my vehicle.
"This. Get in, it's easier to explain if it's on." I told her. Jeremy got to the car before Rainbow Dash did and hopped in the passenger seat right beside me. "What do you think your're doing?"
"Sitting?" He said, cocking a eyebrow.
"To the back Rosa!" I ordered him. "You don't have front seat privileges!"
"Rosa?" He asked.
"Rosa Parks?" I told him.
"Wow." He stated. "And you said my humor is messed up. Why do I have to sit in the back?"
"Because Rainbow Dash is better than you." I told him.
"Wow." He said while he got out of the car. "Nice to know where I am on your list."
"Below me!" Dash remarked as she jumped into the front seat. "You should help Applejack into the car, the handles are weird. We can't open them."
"Cause you don't have fingers." Jeremy muttered as he leaned across the back seat and opened the door from the inside to let Applejack in. Once he opened it, she observed it cautiously.
"What's this suppose to do?" She questioned us. "Why are y'all in there?"
"Just get in, trust me. The only thing dangerous about this is Jack's crappy driving skills." Jeremy said.
"Pfft, didn't you rear-end a car last week?" I reminded him. "I'm a better driver then you!"
"That was not my fault!" He argued.
"You were dancing to the radio and hit another car because you didn't see it!" I countered. "I was in the car!"
"I was whippin' my hair back and forth." He mumbled. "Applejack, trust me, it's just how we get around faster."
"Alright then." She slowly crawled into the vehicle and laid down by Jeremy with her legs tucked in. I put the key in the ingition and twisted, the engine roared to life. Applejack was startled and jumped a little. I pulled out of my driveway to get onto the road.
"Relax, AJ!" Dash told her. "We should get some of these thing ourselves! They are kind of slow, though."
"I never thought that a trip to Taco Bell would be so intense." Jeremy cackled. "And they're not slow! I don't know about you but I can't run sixty miles an hour!" She turned around in her seat and looked at him with a blank expression. "Oh yeah."
"This one is slow though. It's a crappy Honda Civic! It goes from one to sixty in forty seconds!"
"That sounds good, though." Applejack was staring out the window of the car as we drove down the road. "How are we goin' this fast? There's nothing pulling it and you're not shoveling coal into it."
"I know, it still weirds me out when i'm in this thing." Dash told her. She kicked the lever on the side of her seat that caused the seat to lean back. She put her hooves on the dashboard and put her other hooves behind her head. "But I still love it."
"How does it work?" Applejack asked.
"I have no idea." I replied. "I've learned to not question it."
"Don't we have to get out?" Dash asked while I dove into the drive through.
"Nope!" Jeremy answered. "Thank god there's the drive though."
"Drive what?" Applejack asked.
"Drive through." I replied. "For when you want some food outside of the house, but don't feel like putting on pants."
"You've gone through the drive through with no pants?" Jeremy asked with a grin.
"Hell yea!" I returned. "I'm surprised that you haven't!" Then something came to my mind. "Hey, won't your parents wonder where you have been for the past... like eighteen hours?"
"Nah, I leave when I want and they've kind of stopped asking where I go." He told me. "I'm not sure it's a good thing, but it is for this time."
We pulled up to the microphone where you order and the menu board. "What do you guys want?"
"Doritos locos tacos!" Jeremy shouted with excitement.
"Wow. You need to calm down." I told him.
"I'm really hungry." He countered.
"Applejack do you know what you want?" I asked her.
She scanned the board with all the different options she had to order. "I guess the burrito looks good."
My eyes widened with the thought of Applejack still didn't know that we eat meat. "Applejack doesn't eat meat, does she?" I whispered over to Dash, her eyes expanded with the realization too.
"Does the burrito have any meat in it?" She asked.
"I don't think so. No it doesn't." I answered.
She sighed with relief. "Then we're good! I'll take whatever a Sprite is, I'm good from lunch before."
"You don't think this will be a problem?" I asked. She just shrugged in response.
"What's going on?" Jeremy asked, they couldn't hear us in the back of the car.
"Nothing." I replied. I rolled down my window and listed off our order to the person on the other side of the microphone box. He asked me to pull up the the next window, and I complied. When we reached the next window he was punching in something into his computer.
"Total is seven fifty." He said without breaking eye contact with whatever he was doing in the window.
I got out my wallet and saw Dash peeping into it too. "By the way, Jeremy, watch out the ponies will eat through your money." He chuckled. "I'm not joking. They will literally eat your money, apparently it tastes good to them." I shot Rainbow Dash a glare, which she replied with a beaming smile. I handed the guy in the window the payment. He finally looked at our car and saw the blue pegasus sitting next to me.
"Nice doll." He remarked with a smug grin.
"Nice acne." Dash commented back. We could tell that he thought that she wasn't real by his stunned silence. We brohoofed and drove to the next window with a smirk of victory. Applejack and Jeremy were snickering in the back seat.
"It's fun to see their reactions." Dash said back to Applejack. "They never think that we're real."
The woman at the next window was already ready to give us our food when we came to the window. They were obviously busy, she was trying to do many different things at once. She was looking over her shoulder until Applejack greeted her. "Howdy!" She looked to us, I had thankfully already gotten my food from her; there's no doubt in my mind that she would have dropped it all when she jumped and slipped back into the window. "Sorry 'bout that!" She called as we drove away.
"This is a fun day." Jeremy declared through our laughs.
Hey, I was thinking about the title for this story for a while and decided that convenient wasn't the worst for it. If you all have a better title for this, let me know! I kind of settled on the description and title, I suck at summarizing.