Pinkie licks a frosting spoon. Then dreams about it.
Marginally improved, but hey, it's a crack fic. What else do you expect?
Proofread by Keam.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 27th Mar, 2013
- offline last seen Jun 24th, 2020
Grey Faerie
An amatuer writer who loves Pinkie Pie and Discord.
Grey Faerie
Joined 27th Mar, 2013 ·
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- Grey Faerie · 6.1k words · 709 views
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I think you have as well grey I just i don't even know what I just read
Oh! It's posyed! Great cover art, too!
And to think that all of this came out of a discussion on my userpage and a short guest chapter on sixty four extremely short, incredibly horrible, and shamelessly bizarre slashfics plus one that's just plain insane, also a bomb threat with. A few optional stable time loops too, and additionally a foal napping!
Well... this was random. Still good, though
This concept looks familiar.
The silly thing is, I just think it's cute. Pinkie never got to lick the spoon as a kid (I can totally empathise with that), so she's making up for it now. It doesn't feel prurient to me at all.
4274050
Yeah, guess where this came from?
4273711 damn, that's a looooooong title. What sort of crazy guy would write that?
4278541
keam managed to convince me the one shot needed a full story. You like?
4278541
Yeah, who? *gives meaning glance*
4278580
It totally did!
I regret nothing!
Here's some unsolicited advice: Try to vary your sentence structure more. Most of these sentences are just noun verb direct object, and that can become monotonous very quickly.
Here's a good resource: Purdue OWL Strategies for Variation. If you click on the links on the left side, you'll find other subtopics related to the issue. Hope this helps, and have a great day!
4278580 I'll be honest, the opening was a bit awkward. The story as a whole felt a bit clunky. I feel like an ass saying this, but it didn't really click with me.
4278835
Thanks for the link. I'm still working on broadening my subjects and working on story telling. I have gotten a lot better at showing not telling but I'm still working on flow. This is something I consider more of a practice piece. And it is helpful to hear how I can get better.
The best part of this is the dream sequence, which is almost Lewis Carroll-like at times. The rest doesn't match up to that, partly for the reasons Super Trampoline gave earlier. On the whole, your "hey, it's a crack fic" seems a pretty accurate assessment!