Hello! Please read my fan fics! I am always hungry for feed back and don't be afraid to tell me a stories awesomeness or flaws
Babs Seed has pretty much broken ties with the CMC. They live so far apart and haven't seen each other in years. The Manehatten CMC? That never existed. So Babs is all alone with nothing she liked to do but watch rain fall. Then Pinkie Pie comes to visit and shows Babs how to smile again******
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Other than being in multiple tenses it's pretty good for a quick one
4244998 thanks I haven't really "mastered" the tenses yet
Neither have I but you just keep at it.
“Who said I was asking?” Pinkie Pie said and grabbed Babs's hand.
Hand?
4245648 hand oops
Eehh... This could use quite a bit of rework and a lot more details in certain areas. The writing is rough and I made myself finish the story. It's a good fic that starts out well but I quickly lost interest mid way into the tale. For a one-shot though it was alright and I can say that I appreciate reading this. Not gonna leave any kind of rating, but I will say that it could use some rework. Also, try to double space your paragraph breaks for a more reader friendly text on the eyes.
4249545 Jeez, you're a genius! You can make Pony Equestria look like Human Equestria in just one sentence!