Pretty cool, keep it up

a soldier through and through, shot first and didn't ask questions.

Not bad. But good. Keep going.

First Contact Report-

Rookie: "Fuck."

Royal Guard: "Fuck!"

Celestia: "FUCKER SHOT ME!"

You, sir, have just made my Halo side happy with this story. Keep it up.

>>400856400856 Now That, made me laugh more than it should have....

You're damn right losing your father's flag is worse. He's not just rolling in his grave, he's coming back up to kick your ass.

>>400878400878 Thank you, thank you, I'm known for my comedy...not really.

Good story, make the rookie NOT TALK AS MUCH!! He didnt talk even when asked a direct question by his ODST's, so atleast keep it to yes and no, and maybe a few words more per sentence? but other than that, EPIC... Also, dont make it death, i mean, All the other good fics have it as banishment, or being locked in the castle, plus it makes so much more sense :P

you sir are legit real good story!

>>400897400897 Yea, i realized half way through the story that he is talking too much and i WAS going to change it to Buck but it was too far into the story to fix that. so i left it as the Rookie

>>400909400909 Short and Sweet, I like it

Also, one more thing. He IS an ODST, trained to survive such shitstorms such as these (minus the new sentient talking pony race of course), you know.... survive in the wild, eat the grossest of things (as long as not poisonous), but too far into story anyvay, just make him sneaky and stuff when he goes to Ponyville.

>>400924400924 I got something planned for that...... it will be eventful

Well, I was afraid that this story would not...live up to expectations.

Thank you for proving me wrong.

EDIT:  To make this post seem a bit more positive;

My inner Halo Nerd has awakened.

>>400968400968 Glad to hear it

Going good so far apart from the aforementioned talkativeness (Not that there was THAT much talking, but this is the Rookie we;re talking about here). Looking forward to more!

*Watched*

>>400984400984 Yea but how shit would a story be if the main character DIDN'T TALK. it would be like:

The rookie sat there, playing with a rock. after a few minutes, the world exploded. The End

Heh heh, shot Princess Celestia. If he shot Twilight, then that might've been effective.

Rookie:

MA5C Assualt Rifle: 20 spare clips (640 spare rounds)

M6G Magnum: 20 spare clips (160 spare rounds)

Shotgun: Used one shell on Celestia.

>>401022401022 Big Planet, Lots of things to shoot

>>400995400995 Still better ending than Mass Effect 3.

(P.S.) Still better than cupcakes

Looks interesting.  Two things, I don't see Celestia as the type to make this large of a misjudgment, and she is damn lucky he only had rubber bullets loaded in his shotgun.

Im liking this so far and hope you continue.

Twilight: "That was the worst first contact, ever. Of all time."

Celestia: "Not my fault, somepony put a rookie in my way."

<=That is all.

I really can't wait to see more of this.

You better damn believe that rubber shell knocked her out.

those fuckers hurt!

More, please? This is by far some great stuff, and I can't wait for the next chapter! Which I hope is coming soon.

Wow celestia is a troll already.

this is to awesome for my brain looks like i need a better one again..

>>401156401156 dont remind me i got one to the head on accident i then woke up 5 hours later

First fic I read in which the Rookie talks; im ok with this. You have my thumbs and tracks

>>401360401360

You obviously haven't read ODSP.  He has a few lines, though they're short and simple.  I'm a little leery about the Rookie being this talkative, but I understand the reasoning fully.  Can't wait for more.

>>401412401412 I haven't read it, can you link it?

Loooooooooool hell ill read this for the comedy alone!

But ill also read this for what ever the author has in mind

>>401438401438

sure

NOOOO!

NOT THE FLAG!

Wow, not two chapters in and Celestia already got shot. At least it rubber but those funking things hurt. Next chapter please

There were more than a few simple format and spelling errors as well as extra words worming their was into the sentences. The pacing seemed way too fast and twilight seemed out of character rushing towards the unknown in the dead of night alone in below freezing temperatures. Personally I think the main reason this is so popular is because it is a halo crossover and involves Celestia getting shot.

This is a good story, but it could use SOOOOO much more descriptive detail. I felt as if the events were simply moving to fast because the scenes were very non-descript.

>>400924400924 never knew that how do the survive in a forest if there all glassed?

I like the direction you went whit this one instead of having the chief he can be cold and clinical at times and having a odst is favorable because he can be more passionate and human like tracking

So in the span of about a week we've had fan fics about Rorschach, Niko Belic, and the rookie arriving in Equestria...

Image: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/156/722/131214113431.png?1312164875

Oh you crazy fanfic writers

I like how the guard acts as if shooting royalty is somehow eviler than shooting a commoner. And is also ignoring the fact that Celestia shot first.

PS; are you suggesting that Rookie is that guy from the "we are ODST" trailer? Or is that guy Rookie's father?

Apostrophes (') show ownership, not multiples. i.e. it should be ODSTs (group), not ODST's (Belongs to someone named ODST). Also, it shouldn't be capitalized (not part of the abbreviation).

This has been your friendly neighborhood grammar police, signing off. G'night!

Ooooo..Riot shell point blank to the chest! Thats GOTTA hurt!

I really like the premise of the story, but I think the dialogue and scenes are wayyyy rushed. There were so many things to explore with the first contact scenario, but you really kept it to a bare minimum of interaction.  I do not know if this was your intention, but you may wanna take a look at it sometime. Anyhow, keep it up!

Well I am hooked please continue.

heh, if i didnt mention before, this is a pretty good read so far. The rookie talking doesnt bother me too much. also celestia getting shot made me laugh for some reason. probably cuz i imagined a blue rubber ball instead of riot pellets.

Great story so far keep it up!

>>401656401656 Well, you need back-up, apparently. Heeeere's the punctuation police!

Many, many, many commas missed. Almost as many periods missed.

Fix that shit, and I'll come back.

*le tracked*