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December 8th 2553, ten minutes prior to drop.
The Rookie awoke to find himself in a frost covered medical lab; he took his time to sit up. looking himself over, he found that he was mildly frostbitten. Nothing a few pills won't fix.
Berit’s chirpy voice called through the medical bays speakers “Lance Corporal, suit up. There's been a hull breech that has evacuated the breathable air in decks A, B and D. The rest of the crew is in Cryo-sleep... But, for you... there is a mission”.
The Rookie was far from enlightened; he deduced that a quick walk would clear his head... and maybe something to eat wouldn't hurt aswell.
Making his way to the lift, he visited the Cryo-labs on deck B. Usually he wouldn’t have bothered but tonight he felt like he was going to be alone, for a long time.
Looking around the airless room, he noted that His team looked so harmless, being naked and frozen. Buck though, was still in full gear; The Rookie figured he had to rush to his freezer with the rapid air-loss. He cringed at the thought of how much that would hurt later.
He took a quick glance at the three empty pods next to his, more specifically the last one on the row. He fought back a sob, ODST only cry when spartans die.
Turning back out of the Cryo-labs, he pushed all thoughts to the back of his head and towards the airtight lift, Berit’s voice punctured his helmets speakers “Make your way to deck E, there is a H.E.V pod waiting for the drop. Fully stocked, might I add.”
Under his helmet The Rookie sighed, every ODST knew that a stocked pod meant a long ground mission. Although he would have no support from his team, he was just happy to have his feet on the ground. Making his way through the less than toasty ship, he found the heaviest stocked pod he had ever laid eyes on. This WAS going to be a long one.
_____________________________________________________________________________
December 8th 2553, Ponyville, nine minutes prior to drop.
Twilight Sparkle was stirring in her bed, all she could think about was how it was less than a month away from the Hearths warming holiday and she had no plans. Before she had spent every major holiday with her parents back in Canterlot, but this year they were away in the Cuddy Moors. This left Twilight alone with Spike, it wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy his company, but it was somewhat lacking. She would have liked to of spent time with her friends, but she didn’t want to impose on them and their families.
It was going to be a Long Holiday.
A few hours passed with sleep evading Twilight, she decided going for a midnight stroll would clear her head. Frustrated, Twilight looked for a coat to wear for the winter night. A few minutes had passed of Twilights fruitless search when a flaming entity passed through the midnight sky, colliding with the ground on the outskirts of Ponyville. Twilight’s curiosity got the best of her as she took off out the door into the crisp winter’s night.
The object was a giant tubular kind of ‘egg’ like structure, it was smoking from where it had fallen from the sky. Twilight approached it cautiously. Getting a good look at it, it couldn’t have been a random asteroid, it was too perfect.
Twilight was not more than ten feet from the front of the ‘egg’ structure, when the slick black faceplate flew off explosively, missing Twilight by inches.
_____________________________________________________________________________
December 8th 2553, outskirts of Ponyville, Drop.
The Rookie was possibly the first ODST in history to fall asleep in a violentlly shaking drop pod, but he was woken when it smashed into the floor. He took a quick look around his pod, to see if his weapons were still in place. They remained in their fixed positions.
He had a silenced pistol with at least twenty spare mags, a riot shotgun filled with rubber shell and a common assault rifle with also at least twenty spare clips. The Rookie reached above him, to find a camouflage backpack filled with field rations and the means to collect water, plus other general pieces of survival gear.
Satisfied he could handle himself for a while, he released his door which exploded off with a satisfying *BOOM*. Leaping out of his pod, he noted it must have been mid-winter, analyzing his surrounding, he was in a clearing. He concluded he was alone, par a small colourful horse.
Pulling out his bag, he strapped his weapons onto his armour and proceeded to walk to the woods, he felt he had no reason to rush. Berit had informed him that this was a scouting mission. He was a few paces away from his pod when he heard a voice.
“W...What are y-you?” quickly swivelling and placing his hand on his shotgun, he looked for the owner of the voice. Had it not been for years of ODST training and war he would have passed out at the sight of an adorable, tiny, talking, purple horse. It had a deep navy mane with pink and purple highlights.
It repeated its question, but with a bit of confidence in its voice. The Rookie assumed from its voice, that it was a female. How did she even speak English?
He decided that he could handle the situation if it attacked; bearing in mind he was over two feet taller than it. So he answered.
“I’m a Human, what are you?” The Rookie didn’t usually talk to his squad, but he felt strangely comfortable around this pony
The Lavender pony was just as confused as he was “You can speak?!”
Rookie had lowered his guard, but not by much “Yes, I just don’t like to be judged by what I say. So what are you?”
“O-oh, my name is Twilight Sparkle, I am a unicorn. What’s your name? Do humans have names?” The Rookie finally noticed the Horn on her head. He was stunned to say the least, but his helmet masked his shock.
“Just call me the Rookie, everyone else does” he was starting to like this unicorn, it was cute
“Well, um Hi. So why have you come to our planet? And what are those things strapped to you?” she seemed as if she was getting more comfortable around the Rookie.
“These are weapons of my people, I was told to come here to scout” the Rookie thought for a minute, he wasn’t given clear instructions about what to do when he got down to the planet. Everything seemed a bit, rushed.
Twilight took a step back when he mentioned the word weapons. She shivered, not from the statement but in her haste, she never did find her coat. The Rookie picked up on this; he considered things for a moment before coming to a conclusion. She wasn’t hostile and she was probably a civilian, plus he might need her on his side in the future. He would help her out.
He knelt down to her level and pulled out his father’s ODST flag from his amour’s plating. He was torn, that flag was the symbol of his life as a solider, but it was also the only material he had on him, he couldn't exactly make a coat out of leaves. In the end his heart outwitted his head and he offered it, “You look cold; I have a blanket here if you want it?”
She looked reluctant, but quickly took up the offer, it was below freezing.
“Um... Thanks, so where did you come from anyway?” About to respond, the Rookie was tackled to the floor by an unknown force. Quickly recovering, he pulled out his riot shotgun and aimed it at the assailant’s chest, quickly firing the rubber shell.
The giant winged horse let out a colossal scream, the two smaller winged horses rushed back to its aid. Twilight shrieked out in disbelief “PRINCESS CELESTIA?! ARE YOU OK?”
The Rookie took that as his que to leave, cocking his shotgun letting and the rubber casing fall out. He glanced back, thinking of making a dash back for the sybol of his solider heratige, but he thought better of it.
The Rookie Ran as quick as he could into the woods, he wouldn’t be welcome were ever they came from anymore. Apparently he just shot a Princess, in all fairness it was self-defence.
He ran for about five miles, found a nice tree, checked to see if it as sturdy, plus pest free and settled down for a moment, hidden in the roots. He would need to drop a line to Berit ASAP.
As first contacts go, this had to be the biggest fuck up of all time.
And he lost his father’s flag.
The latter was way worse... Maybe.
_____________________________________________________________________________
December 8th 2553, outskirts of Ponyville, six minutes after drop.
“Ms. Sparkle, no need to panic. The Princess is just unconscious, his puny weapons were ineffective” The royal guards in their matching golden legionnaire armour, had checked the Princess before the taller of the two turned his attention to Twilight.
“Why did she attack him?” Twilight was now wrapping herself tighter into the alien’s crimson and gold blanket to protect herself from the sharp winter air.
The guard looked bewildered “Because it was attacking you... wasn’t it?” His eyes widened when he realized they had made a big mistake.
“No, if anything he helped me by lending me this...” She nuzzled at the flag wrapped around her.
The Guard regained his composure “Well regardless it made a life threatening attack on the princess! Such atrocities are punishable by death!” Twilight gasped.
Pacing back and forth she kept muttering to herself “No, no, no, no, no, no...” This was very bad, the alien had weapons, but he seemed nice... nevertheless he was attacked by the Princess. She would need to write to Princess Luna, as soon as possible.
As a first contact, this had to be the biggest Buck up ever, of all time.
And as a consequence the Princess is hurt
The Latter was much worse.
_____________________________________________________________________________
December 8th 2553, outskirts of Ponyville, ten minutes after drop.
The Rookie had a metaphorical bombshell dropped on him; Berit had told him about what happened ever since he got back from the colonial moon. She explained to him about how the corvette ‘Hope and Glory’ just played dead before it attacked just after Buck went into his Cryo-Tube. The ‘Much Ado’ was badly damaged and only just managed to get into Slip-space. Problematically, their ship didn’t have enough power left to put the Rookie in, or remove the rest crew from Cryo-Sleep.
All Berit could do was protect the one able-bodied crew member she had left, Leaving an automatic message to be played on all UNSC private channels would mean the squad in Cryo-sleep would have a fair chance of being found within the next twenty years. But the Rookie wouldn’t have survived in the ‘Much Ado’ for anything more than a month.
Berit removed herself from the ship and into the Rookies modified armour; if she had been a ‘Smart’ A.I then the Rookie couldn’t have sustained her on his self regenerating power supply. Being a ‘Dumb’ A.I Berit took up less energy, but she was still ten times more intelligent than the average Human.
The Rookie had protested at first about her leaving his squad, but he realised she wasn’t helping anybody back aboard The ‘Much Ado’. He decided to take full advantage of her companionship. “Alright, what do you suggest we do?”
Her young, smooth voice came through his Helmet speakers “We need to find a warm place to stay for the night, this tree... isn’t great.”
The Rookie choose to enjoy her company while he had it “Which way?” low powered or not.
“On the way down, I saw a settlement just a few kilometres back in the direction you came from, our best bet is to find an abandoned building to hunker down in.”
“ARE. YOU. CRAZY!?” The Rookie was frozen to the spot with disbelief, if his helmet didn’t mute his voice he would have woken every living being within a twenty mile distance. Berit might as well of told him to jump into a rocket.
“Lance Corporal, it is your safest bet, besides you’re going to have to accept the locals at some point.” Berit was starting
to sound frustrated at The Rookie’s lack of trust.
The Rookie started slowly moving towards the way-point Berit placed “I was attacked. They aren’t friendly.”
“Now that’s not entirely true, that lavender ‘Unicorn’ seemed friendly enough” Grunting, he knew it was a losing battle. Berit was right.
The word unicorn made the Rookie go back through events in his head while he ran. He had discovered a new species, a new sentient species. But he didn’t dwell on it; he knew he would probably never see another human ever again. But it didn’t bother him as much as it should have; he joined the ODST’S for the adventure. Among other things.
Comments ( 104 )
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You, sir, have just made my Halo side happy with this story. Keep it up.
Good story, make the rookie NOT TALK AS MUCH!! He didnt talk even when asked a direct question by his ODST's, so atleast keep it to yes and no, and maybe a few words more per sentence? but other than that, EPIC... Also, dont make it death, i mean, All the other good fics have it as banishment, or being locked in the castle, plus it makes so much more sense :P
Also, one more thing. He IS an ODST, trained to survive such shitstorms such as these (minus the new sentient talking pony race of course), you know.... survive in the wild, eat the grossest of things (as long as not poisonous), but too far into story anyvay, just make him sneaky and stuff when he goes to Ponyville.
<=That is all.
NOOOO!
There were more than a few simple format and spelling errors as well as extra words worming their was into the sentences. The pacing seemed way too fast and twilight seemed out of character rushing towards the unknown in the dead of night alone in below freezing temperatures. Personally I think the main reason this is so popular is because it is a halo crossover and involves Celestia getting shot.
how do the survive in a forest if there all glassed?
So in the span of about a week we've had fan fics about Rorschach, Niko Belic, and the rookie arriving in Equestria...
Image: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/156/722/131214113431.png?1312164875Oh you crazy fanfic writers
I really like the premise of the story, but I think the dialogue and scenes are wayyyy rushed. There were so many things to explore with the first contact scenario, but you really kept it to a bare minimum of interaction. I do not know if this was your intention, but you may wanna take a look at it sometime. Anyhow, keep it up!
>>401744 I only give one tip a shift. It helps keep the authors from yelling at me for being a Grammar Nazi, which I am not, though I do have the protocols embedded so deep into my head that I sometimes want to bash my own head in with a brick. I've started seeing errors in actual, published, edited, books. Anyways, I could work as a proofreader for someone who needs it. I've done it once before, though never on this site.
>>401777 I proofread for Wanderer D, GaruuSpike, Flames Lone-Wolf, Marik_Azemus, and a few other people, not all of which are a part of this fandom. I do a LOT of editing. And my head hurts from all the mistakes.
I especially hate it when the mistakes appear in my fics, seeing as how nopony'll proofread for little ol' me. TT_TT 
Well, back to reading the best night ever! 
Better keep them chapters coming...or else
Image: http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/140/f/4/twilight_sparkle__cut_you_up_by_closer_to_the_sun-d3gtat1.jpgI was looking for something to say but i just couldn't so i found this
Image: http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/4/3/66ea655a-4364-4e0d-83bf-26d0a1c81e1b.jpg
Good Story and the Rookie may be OOC cause he is talking but
Image: https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ7Im6DuDIsLRJWDETVmR0R3GVS9Oz2fjGigJZtu79Uezihik3N3QIt's good to have the Rookie talk, always hated it when the main guy is a mute in games. Apart from Sonic he started off as a mute and started to talk in the end.
This story...
Image: http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/photo/da/7677/Not-Sure-If-Want.jpg&sa=X&ei=XPd6T86-JuaW0QWp5pjHCQ&ved=0CAsQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNFTKRuMuG0zvSIDKGBtqY4NESsTrwAs long as the quality improves, or at least stays at the level it is currently at, I'll be happy to continue reading. But if any werid shit goes down, like clop or ponyfication or any of that kinda crap, I'll be outta here.
I was just informing this part:
He had a silenced pistol with at least twenty spare mags, a riot shotgun filled with rubber shell and a common assault rifle with also at least twenty spare clips
. The Rookie reached above him, to find a camouflage backpack filled with field rations and the means to collect water, plus other general pieces of survival gear.
This part made me awaken my inner gun-nut. (psycho?) There is a big differences between a 'clip' and a 'magazine', which I don't really feel like going in depth about right now, but just to leave it simple; we don't use any guns that are clip fed for military service any longer. Just to make it simple.
You don't have to, and I exaggerate the difference, it really isn't much difference between the two.
But and example of a clip fed weapon would be the M1 Garand, or most top loaded bolt-action rifles around WWII and WWI.
And an example of a magazine; something like a M-16 or a AK-47.
HA, pretty much the only difference is one holds the ammo and pretty much exposes it on all sides (clip/ kinda like a paper clip, except the paper is cartridges, and the paper clip... is a clip)//// While a magazine holds the bullets and almost fully encloses them. (like a cup of water, except the water is cartridges and the cup is a magazine)
psycho gun rant complete.
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Something I saw that you should make a note of the fix in future writing, stick to one measurement system.
The first measurement you do is in SI units then you convert to US units of measurement. You should try to stick with one of them and not just hop between the two.
this....story...is.....
Image: http://lovehateadvertising.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/guiness-brilliant.jpg
Image: http://ponibooru.413chan.net/_images/7bda0c5d082aaa1102350682a8f49da0/25916%20-%20animated%20laughing%20rainbow_dash%20spike.gif
Kinda broke the "silent protagonist" role the Rookie had, but such mistakes are reparable. You hit about all the question buttons that are typically missed in humans come to equestria stories , such as speech, physiology, and astonishment at a new species. Needs some work, but amazing potential.
Image: http://myiconcolchester.com/wp-content/gallery/shirts-film-comedy/life-of-brian-always-look-on-the-bright-side-of-life.jpg
OOC Rookie....Rookie CALLING HIMSELF ROOKIE (Severe lack of logic here).....consistently breaking the "Show don't tell" rule......Pacing is off, feels rushed....painting the setting is weak, meaning lack of detail, to skip to "reactions" of characters....sigh...all this story has going for it is the plot direction. Which is one good thing. The concept has already been used, and to some ironic extent, been done BETTER already. 
I'll give it a chance in hopes of some kind of improvement.....which im unsure of. 
Sorry, but the pacing here is going faster than the Indy 500. Characters are being pretty OCC, especially Celestia.
1. How did Celestia even get there without anybody noticing?
2. Where did the guards come from?
3. Why would Celestia tackle the Rookie, instead of, I dunno, USING MAGIC.
4. Why is everyone so calm? A big scary armored talking biped just fell from space in a SOIEV. I would be freaking out.
5. Grammar, punctuation, etc. Needs work.
6. "Not Exactly Green; No ODST Is." READ IT. Look at their first-contact scenario, and subsequent story.
And that's why I have to give this story a down vote for now.
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