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(25)
Brass and Twilight
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“Euporie, you know I have reservations about this party of yours,” Eunomie said, repeating herself for the benefit of her sleepy sister. The methodical mare was already dressed and waiting; today was the all-important day when Twilight Sparkle finally met with her father at an unknown location of her choosing. Everything, she had been told, was as ready as it could be for the occasion.
Eunomie had eaten, washed and brushed herself down, and now a white and lilac cloak was secured around her shoulders with a plain bronze and steel clasp. Beneath it, her saddlebags were already lightly packed and ready. If things went well, they would have a new ally by the end of the day, and father’s dreams would be one step closer to fruition.
“Yeah, reservations, do tell,” Euporie grumbled, drowsily rubbing her eyes with a hoof even as he magic pulled a plush sapphire and silver cloak over and around her shoulders. The color matched one of the hues native to her wild blue mane. If she had a choice of color to wear, it tended to be blue.
“I worry,” Eunomie explained, impassive despite her own words. “Father asked us to keep a low profile and to stick to the task at hand. I know what kind of parties you prefer… and it would be less worrisome if you hadn’t invited one of Lady Sparkle’s friends. If you upset one, you will upset the other, and this Pinkie Pie is an element of harmony herself. You know what happens with you push on Aunt Chalice, and an element of harmony is similar. The last time you went too far, father had to…”
“I remember it,” Euporie cut her sister off. “I was there.”
“You could have been killed,” Eunomie reminded her.
“No. Dozens of others would have been killed… but not me.” Euporie had the good sense to whisper that instead of say it out loud where Twilight could overhear them from upstairs where she was still packing and changing. “I already ran a little test on how far I can push the element of honesty. I’ll be fine.”
“Father will be unhappy to hear of this,” Eunomie warned, when nothing else seemed to work.
“Let him be unhappy,” her twin sister tossed her mane as the cloak settled over her body. “If you tell him, which you won’t.”
Eunomie sighed, defeated.
“Eunomie,” Euporie whispered, cupping her sister’s chin with her hoof. “I’ve seen you and Twilight Sparkle getting close, studying like a pair of little bookworms, your noses in some leathery tome. Don’t think I haven’t. But you should never forget – never! – that if she knew the real you as I do, if she knew what you had done and yet planned to do, she would hate you and fear you. Daddy talks about friendship, about gathering allies and binding others to you, but when the hooves hit the ground, all of it is just… lies. Friendship is a game of pretend.”
“The only one who accepts you for who you are, the only one who embraces you even with all that blood on your hooves… is me,” Euporie said, kissing her sister just where her cheek met the corner of her mouth. “I know you’ll always be looking out for me.”
“Somepony has to, when you won’t look out for yourself,” Eunomie replied, stepping back and away from her twin. She lowered her eyes. “Please make an effort not to go overboard. That is all I ask.”
“Yes, yes. I will ‘try’ not to go overboard with the party,” Euporie promised, though the smirk on her lips made it hard to put much stock in her words. She was about to say more, when the sound of hooves on the library’s stairs cut her short. The white-coated Mosaic twins turned to see Twilight Sparkle descending, a plain brown cloak wrapped around her frame. It was chilly out, and still wet from the scheduled rainfall that had come down during the night and early morning. The only adornment she wore was an iron and gold clasp and a necklace with her family crest on it: the asymmetrical eight pointed star.
“Sorry for the wait,” Twilight apologized, tucking a brush away under the cloak and into one of her saddlebags. “I was thinking about parting my mane down both sides, but it just wasn’t coming out like I imagined it would… anyway, are we ready to go?”
“We are,” Eunomie replied.
“Eight o’clock is an ungoldly hour,” Euporie complained, yawning unabashedly. “Good ponies were not meant to wake up before eleven.”
“Early to bed,” Eunomie sang an old tune.
“Early to rise!” Twilight agreed, and the two morning-friendly unicorns all but pranced to the library door. Euporie followed, glumly, clearly not built for this or any morning routine.
Outside, a faint fog lingered between the houses and along the streets of Ponyville, the gray clouds overhead still drizzling half-heartedly, most of their fury spent before the shops and market stalls opened at seven. A pony could see weathermares already sectioning off clouds to return to storage, their supervisors checking water levels left in each cloud and – if needed – prompting the cloud to drain itself down to the proper level. In parts of it, the sunshine gave the sky an almost grid-like appearance.
A smattering of fat raindrops fell on the cloaks of the three mares as they trotted out of town and south towards the Everfree forest. Cobblestone squares and market streets became sett roads that intersected the town, inns and shops growing alongside. Once outside the town limits, the sett became gravel, and the gray unpaved roads wound their way across hills and bridged streams until they linked the farms to the town. The trio made good time along one of those roads until it branched off into a dirt road that was little more than a path.
A sign planted between dirt and gravel warned against entrance to the Everfree.
They were met there by three other ponies, also cloaked to appear more inconspicuous. Stallions all, the tallest one in the lead waved to the approaching mares. A hint of magic tugged back the hood of his snow white cloak, revealing a blue mane in three tints, a long white horn and a strong jaw.
“Twilie,” Shining Armor said, greeting his little sister. “I hope nopony minds, but I brought Sir Arrow and Sir Gale with me.”
“Twilight,” Eunomie began to protest, apprehensive about the two surprise additions to their entourage. “Such a large group will be… conspicuous.”
“Those two just won’t let you out of their sight, now will they?” Euporie asked, smiling at the two pegasus royal guards. They did not wear hoods with their solar-white cloaks, and one of them visibly shied away from the grinning unicorn mare.
“Like ticks on a dog, almost,” she drove home the point with little subtlety.
Still, Shining Armor was oblivious. “Lady Euporie, these are good stallions whom I can vouch for personally. We are all friends here.”
“Right. ‘Friends.’”
The pegasus weather-making ended well before the border of the wild-lands, briefly allowing the sun to shine down unimpeded. That only lasted until the six ponies came under the canopy of the dark forest. Only a filtered fraction of the sun’s radiance permeated to the bottom level of the forest floor, and nothing else of it made it through the gritty layer of fallen leaves that came with autumn. There were no ponies to rake up and mulch or compost the leaves in Everfree. Instead they rotted on the ground, strangling grass and littering the ground in a thousand different shades of brown and red, mud and russet, shadowed black and bloody crimson.
The dirt path was broken only occasionally by a T-shaped pole jutting out of the ground, weeds thick and clinging to the base. The lanterns hanging from each were unlit. There would have been a dire need of them at night or even in the afternoon, but it was easy enough to see the worn path during the day and to keep on track. Eunomie followed Twilight closely, only occasionally pausing to look around at the strange forest. Euporie trudged along, not minding the effort, the weather or the dirt, but otherwise bored. Shining Armor and his two guard companions held the rear.
“Twilight,” Eunomie finally spoke up to give voice to another of her concerns. “How deep into the Everfree are we to go?”
“We’re almost there,” Twilight promised her. “Come on!”
The librarian’s steady trot became an easy gallop, and the two Mosaic twins picked up pace to follow. From out of the bush, the path lead up to a large, misshapen tree – a sallow yellow and orange tree with wildly gnarled roots and limbs. There could hardly have been a stranger counterpart to Twilight’s own Golden Oaks library: the Ponyville tree was straight and tall with immaculate lines and smooth bark, while the Everfree tree was twisted and warped, squat and wide as if it couldn’t make up which way to grow. Vines hung from the branches all around it like a deep green gallows, and here and there, buried partly into the ground, strange wooden masks jutted upward with only vaguely equine faces.
One such mask hung over a door in the crooked tree.
Twilight walked boldly up to the door and knocked, as Euporie and Eunomie slowed to a trot behind her. It would hardly have been out of place for some monstrous creature to open the door to such an ominous lair, but their host was instead shown to be a zebra. Five copper dzilla rings coiled around her neck, and a matching loop hung from each ear, her black and white mane done up in a neat mohawk. Euporie ‘ooh’ed and Eunomie stared; both mares were seasoned from contact with various other races, both within and without the colonies their mother and father governed, but neither had much experience with zebras. This one was a very, very long way from home.
“Everypony, this is Zecora.” Twilight was kind enough to make introductions. She gestured back to the two girls with her, and then to her brother’s party. “Zecora, this is Eunomie, and Euporie, and my brother Shining Armor, and Sir Gale Force, and Sir Arrow Head.”
“An honor to meet you, ma’am,” Shining Armor said, bowing his head courteously.
“Yes,” Gale Force muttered.
“An honor,” Arrow Head finished.
Euporie and Eunomie bent their front legs slightly in a polite curtsy.
“As long as nopony minds, I thought we could use Zecora’s place here for the meeting,” Twilight explained. “You can all trust her to keep her confidence, and we’re as secluded as it gets.”
“You will find no prying eyes here, nor anypony chance to overhear,” the zebra rhymed, welcoming the three ponies inside. “Please - my new friends - come inside; I have a hot brew I am happy to provide.”
“Thank you for your hospitality,” Eunomie said, wiping her hooves as she entered.
“Hey! Mom once had an apothecary who kept a room like this,” Euporie said with a soft ‘he.he.he!’ “Check it out! Is that willowshade?” She zipped over to a shelf lined with herbs, poultices and glass vials. “And blue leech? Oh-ho! Milk of Sorrow! Awesome! Is this cockatrice venom? You can stabilize it longer with a touch of mercury, you know?”
Twilight and Eunomie stared at the blue-maned mare, the latter looking very much like she wanted to introduce face to hoof. Shining Armor and his two guards entered last and also wiped their hooves as they left the Everfree behind them. The two pegasus ponies frowned as they took in the ambiance, or maybe, the company. Zecora quickly trotted over to guide the giddy Euporie away from the shelf.
“You know your… tonics and potions,” she conceded, leading the noblemare to a rug on the floor. “But please let me disavow you of these notions. Blue leech I use, to soften the pain and bleeding of a bruise. Milk of Sorrow is dangerous to imbibe, but as an ointment I can prescribe. Cockatrice venom is deadly in most forms, but when boiled with ammonia, it quite literally transforms. Aches and pains suffered by the elderly, such a brew can remedy.”
“And a drop of Milk of Sorrow, brewed in a bitter lemon tea, can make a pony mad with glee,” Euporie rhymed, but sat down without further incident. “I didn’t know Ponyville had a witch doctor on call.”
“At first ponies assumed me hostile, and for the time being, I still prefer a low profile,” Zecora explained, trotting past a bubbling pot and towards a much smaller black kettle hanging over the embers of a small cooking fire. She poured the dark brew inside into cups made of river clay, decorated at the rim with carefully hoof-painted geometric shapes.
“I was told a second group would soon also attend,” the zebra mystic said, presenting the cups to her guests. “One of them Twilight’s new colt-friend.”
Zecora laughed politely and Twilight blushed hotly at the zebra’s little rhyme. She didn’t argue to the contrary, though. Instead, she took a long sip from the cup in front of her. She had led them out here to Zecora’s hut, far from any prying eyes, and far from either of their power bases. Alpha Brass would have his step-daughters in attendance, and she would have her brother and his companions from the royal guard. She hated having to be deceptive, but it really couldn’t be helped. A little caution could go a long way.
“Lord Alpha Brass will require a summoning circle,” Eunomie explained. “I can-”
“I’ll do it,” Euporie interrupted her, quickly finishing off her drink. She licked her lips. “You’ve been ferrying messages back and forth, right? So it’s only fair I bring daddy over.”
“Very well,” Eunomie consented.
“You know this spell, too?” Twilight asked, sounding surprised.
“Of course!” Euporie answered with a laugh. She trotted over to an open area inside Zecora’s hut, stopped, and spun around once. Her horn glowed as she jumped out of the circle that materialized where she had done her turn. It glowed white-hot and an otherworldly blue, rippled by fiery orange. A silhouette appeared first, and it moved as it took bodily form and substance. Then the magical energies turned to short lived sparkles, small as particles of dust.
The hooves of a stallion fell, a half inch, to the floor.
Alpha Brass was cloaked in burgundy velvet with golden patterns like scales stitched into the lining and along the edges across the upper torso. The bottom half was lined with black leather. A chain of alloyed rose gold circled his neck and looped around a second time to cross his chest. On either side, clasps in the shape of rearing, roaring unicorns belching fire held fabric in place. The roaring pony, Twilight had researched, was the emblem of the Mosaic line that Alpha Brass had married into.
Beneath the cloak, he was much as she remembered from her birthday party at Ptarmigan, when he had visited and before she had met her friends in Canterlot. Alpha Brass had turquoise eyes, and while he was smaller in chest and height than many Canterlot bred unicorns - like her brother - he was taller and more heavily built than most of the stallions in Ponyville. His fetlocks were neatly trimmed, but still on display as was the noble fashion. They were kept trim, more like Shining Armor’s than Blueblood’s. His coat was a deep golden hue that was normally only seen in pony’s tails and manes, and his mane was burnished gold with faint white-gold streaks.
He glanced around for a moment, taking in his surroundings.
“Most unusual-”
“Daddy!” Euporie all but slammed into him with a bone crushing hug. Eunomie merely bowed her head in due respect. “Welcome father. We are in the Everfree forest.”
“The Everfree? Well, that presents certain possibilities,” he said, in a rich confident voice. He immediately singled one mare out of the three and smiled at her. “Twilight Sparkle… it is a distinct pleasure to see you again.”
“And you as well,” Twilight said, smiling back. Rarity had always said that the stallion of her dreams made her heart flutter, just thinking about him. Alpha Brass was interesting and exciting, and Twilight found herself eager to speak with him beyond just exchanging letters, but her heart was still beating calmly, not fluttering.
‘Maybe,’ she wondered, ‘I’m just not a flutterer? But he is… cute. Or maybe ‘pretty’ is a better word.’
“This is Zecora,” she introduced their host for the day. “And you know my brother. The two ponies with him are Sir Gale Force and Sir Arrow Head.”
“It is always a pleasure to meet a mare of the sun-touched savanna,” Brass said, approaching the host of their meeting. However, he did not take Zecora’s hoof in the Equestrian custom. Instead, he bowed his head quickly; dipping it down in a smooth motion. Zecora reciprocated a moment later.
The zebra smiled at his courtesy. “No pony comes to the sunset lands; do not tell me you have braved the white bone sands?”
“The White Bone? Oh, no. I wouldn’t dare! But I did travel by ship, once, to the great port at Zebrabar,” Alpha Brass told the zebra mare, chuckling sprightly at the memory.
“My wife sent me to negotiate trade and discourage pirates,” he explained, both to Zecora and to the listening ponies around them. “I spent two months in the stone city but was unfortunate enough to catch a sleeping sickness. A zebra nurse with a singing snake for a life-mark nursed me to health again. For a week, I drank Kiss of Silence, washed myself with holy water, and emerged scoured and purified.”
“To survive the sleeping and speak of Kiss of Silence? I wager you would not wish to return to those islands,” Zecora said, and took his hoof to shake in the Equestrian way. “The singing snake is a healer true; it is good that she was there for you. But if singing snake you’ve seen before, I trust my own mark is not too obscure?”
“The spiral wall,” he said, “Outward facing and ever expanding. I know of the symbol, but I’ve never met a zebra with it before. You’ve traveled further than I have, and I suspect you’ll travel further still, my Lady Traveler.”
Zecora actually blushed, and excused herself to bring him a cup of herbal tea. Alpha Brass took the opportunity to clasp hooves with Shining Armor, the two embracing like… like brothers, Twilight guessed. Shining then introduced his two guard companions, and though Brass greeted them warmly, Twilight sensed his tension to move on. It was flattering to think that he was eager to talk to her, too… but there was something strange about Shining’s two guards, and how Euporie and now her father acted towards them. Only Eunomie, typically, was unmoved and detached.
“You know, I just had an idea,” Alpha Brass declared, as he patted Shining Armor on the shoulder. He stretched a hoof out to Twilight. “Lady Sparkle, what would you say to a friendly magic duel? They say unicorns know each other best through their magic.”
A magic duel - just for fun?
“You’re on!” Twilight agreed, and meeting the golden stallion’s eyes, she felt a little flutter inside her chest. But it was probably just an eagerness to see his magic first-hoof. Probably.
- - -
In the open yard in front of Zecora’s tree, three unicorns, two pegasi and a lone zebra made themselves comfortable. Euporie had transformed a log into a gently sloping couch, and though Zecora had earlier dissuaded her from thinking of the many potions and alchemical ingredients in her home as having poisonous (or narcotic) applications, the two had quickly gotten to talking about the fine line between healing and harm. Instead of reclining on her side like the hedonistic mare, Zecora sat with her legs crossed beneath her, leaning on the couch enough to also watch the duel. Eunomie and Shining Armor - acquainted with one another already - made polite conversation, most of it involving the resolution of the Terre Rare family split. Sir Arrow Head and Sir Gale Force remained close by their off duty Captain, but only spoke when spoken to.
Twilight Sparkle, meanwhile, found herself a little preoccupied by imagining just what spells she should use in her upcoming duel. There were just so many!
As she thought about it, though, she couldn’t help but wonder if she was best off just showing Alpha Brass her best or favorite spells. She wanted to impress him, but would he hold it against her if she upstaged him? Just how much magic did he know? Eunomie had clearly been exposed to magic most unicorns would have to beg a professor or magister to teach them. Euporie, too, though she didn’t make it as obvious. They both knew static translocation spells and Eunomie had an advanced familiar spell…
‘Maybe I should start with a Prancing Pyrotechnic spell?’ she wondered. ‘Or… maybe or a Reinmare’s Reversal? No, no! Gravity spells out in the open? Are you crazy? Mercurio’s Moustache? Conn’s Comprehensive Comprehension? That’s a good one…! But it doesn’t have anything to do with dueling… Oh! There are just too many options to pick from!’
Alpha Brass had removed his cloak and stood, waiting patiently for her to begin. He had also removed a saddlebag that had hung from his left side. If he had kept some of his clothes on, she could’ve used an alteration spell to change their color or do some other flashy, cosmetic change. Twilight figured that was what Trixie would have done, and though it was a little odd asking herself, ‘what would that boastful showmare have done?’ It was probably a good guideline.
“Let’s just start with something simple?” Twilight asked, chewing her lower lip. Her magic found and seized a trio of rocks from within the soft earth of the Everfree forest, the rubble bursting out from the soil, hovering behind her for a moment, and then arcing lazily towards her target. It would be easy to jump out of the way, if he wanted.
“Simple won’t entertain our friends, Miss Sparkle,” Alpha Brass said, holding up a hoof to intercept the falling stones. They veered inwards, towards the base of his hoof, one and then the other… compacting together on impact.
‘A material re-composition spell?’ Twilight guessed, releasing her lower lip from her nervous nibble to smile. ‘He knows Sommare’s Sequential Stone-Softening!’
“Ho!” Alpha Brass said, announcing it as he pushed forward, launching the now three-times larger stone back at her.
“Ha!” Twilight laughed, jumping back as her horn glowed to ensnare the projectile. The shape of it warped, flattened, and became a boomerang. It began to spin and deviate from its course, past her and around her back, and then towards her opponent.
“Good one, Twilie!” Shining Armor cheered, hooves clopping in approval of her counter-counter.
“You work well with solids,” Alpha Brass admitted, and took a step back as he weaved another spell. A bone white aura encapsulated the incoming boomerang and it turned blue; just a moment later and it came apart into two long streams of water. Like a pair of snakes, they twisted around, their spin conserved and turned into a corkscrew-motion.
“Earth to water?” Twilight asked, standing up on her hind legs to gesture with her hooves to her mouth. “Too easy! Water to air!”
Magic coalesced around her hooves from her horn, and then into her mouth. Inhaling deeply, she sucked up the two violent streams of water, a sparkling funnel opening and tapering off. Her cheeks puffed up in a way only Pinkie Pie could emulate, and then Twilight Sparkle fell onto all fours, her lips parting and unleashing a torrent of nearly invisible power. Grass uprooted and fallen forest leaves kicked up on the edges of the yard, the foliage of trees and vines shaking from the bleed off of powerful wind.
“Water to air isn’t bad,” Alpha Brass commented, back peddling slightly as the forefront of the hurricane whipped back his carefully brushed mane. “But… did you forget the fourth classical element?”
He inhaled right back, and the winds didn’t just die, the yard took on a frightful calm.
“Fire,” he whispered, tilting his head upwards.
Twilight was reminded of the sigil she had seen on his letters and again on his cloak’s crest. A swirling, angry maelstrom of flame escaped his open mouth, licking the canopy of the forest with orange and gold… leaves and branches turned to ash, just like the black smoke that curled from the stallion’s blazing nostrils. The flame belched ever upward like a pillar, and had the color been slightly different, it could well have been mistaken for a strangely silent dragon venting into the morning sky.
“Whew!” Alpha Brass gasped, as the flames tapered out. He held out his hoof, flat up, and a glass of water poofed into existence. The noblepony drank slowly, a few contrails of smoke still rising from his nose. Twilight found herself bouncing on the balls of her hooves as she waited, eagerly, for what he would follow up ‘Air to Fire’ with.
Alpha Brass dropped the empty glass of water.
“Another transmute spell!” Twilight realized, guessing, even before the glass hit the ground.
She was proven prescient as, instead of shattering, the glass melted into the ground like water… and just as ripples spread across the surface of a pond, earth and soil turned to glossy crystal. Twilight giggled, impressed, and started concentrating. Her tongue sticking out from between her tightly pressed lips, she closed her eyes, building up magic in her horn…
The ripple of earth turned glass was at her front hooves when her horn began to vibrate.
“Euphony’s Bauble Breaker?” Brass recognized the spell. “How about this, then?”
He lowered his head, and his horn began to vibrate, too. Twilight wondered, momentarily, why he would bother using a spell designed to destroy glass and undo his own earlier spellwork. Then, she realized his sonic spell was identical to her own in amplitude and frequency… but the exact opposite in phase!
‘He’s using Euphony’s Bauble Breaker to counter Euphony’s Bauble Breaker!’ Twilight thought, momentarily aghast. That wasn’t how you were supposed to counter spells in a duel.
But it was smart! It was really very smart!
‘He can use spells to do things they aren’t originally meant to do!’ she realized, ‘Or even to do the opposite of what they were intended!’
“They’re canceling one another out,” Eunomie observed from where she sat next to Shining Armor.
“If the contest is raw power, Twilie won’t be outdone,” Shining Armor promised. “Watch and see.”
Twilight, hearing her brother’s words, felt a surge of confidence. ‘That’s right! I won’t lose! Not when it comes to magic!’
She doubled the amplitude.
Deep in the Everfree forest, Timberwolves threw back their heads and howled, birds took to the air to escape the noise and Manticores yowled; the otherwise inaudible high frequency waves only able to be heard by a hoof-full of species. The ossified ground beneath Twilight’s hooves began to violently vibrate, on the verge of shattering and turning to magical dust. She could feel herself approaching the threshold to do it…
Except, without warning, Alpha Brass also doubled the amplitude of his inverse sound wave. Gritting her teeth, Twilight Sparkle immediately doubled the amplitude again. Leaves began to shake in the boughs of trees, and a whine - like a thousand buzzing parasprites - hurt her ears. Watching the duel, the two pegasus guards were in pain, hooves pressed hard into their ears. Euporie, Eunomie, Zecora and Shining Armor were still discomfited, and at the sight of his subordinates in pain, Shining Armor quickly erected a purple barrier around the entire group.
Protected, the two guards groaned in relief.
“He. He. He!” Euporie chuckled, glancing over at the duo. “Was that uncomfortable, noble sirs?”
Shining Armor opened his mouth to protest, but even he had to have found it a little odd. “Their hearing must be… very sensitive…”
Zecora’s eyes narrowed, but then Twilight finally felt a breakthrough, and her attention returned to the duel. Alpha Brass had finally given up with a grunt, and at the frightful amplitude she was projecting her sound spell, the ground-turned-glass immediately ruptured and exploded. If it had turned to actual flying glass, that would have been… unhealthy, but just as Twilight had expected, Euphony’s Bauble Breaker destroyed the converted material utterly and undid the magic changing its natural form.
A blast of magical particles blasted up from all around them, shimmering and sparkling briefly in the air. It was Alpha Brass’s original magic given momentary material form. Twilight took a breath and inhaled some of it. His magic tasted sweet and strong, like a drop of apple molasses on the tip of her tongue.
“My turn again!” she said, grin wide enough to show him her teeth. Her eyes squinted and she projected, a double glow catching the noble stallion by the corners of his upper lip.
“Eh?” he gasped, an incredulous hoof reaching up to feel the new blonde-yellow beard and moustache that covered his cheeks and jaw. “Muttonchops?!”
“You look a little like grandpa, Daddy!” Euporie chimed in with a giggle.
“I much prefer being clean shaven,” Alpha Brass said, frowning behind his new beard. His horn glowed white and Twilight felt a tingle in her scalp.
She quickly conjured up a small mirror, gasping at her mane. Purple, red and blue threads had all been clumped together and spiked up. She looked like… like…
“You look like an otter!” Euporie declared, pointing and laughing hard enough to tumble off of her chair. “A big purple otter!”
“Oh, Twilie,” her brother lamented, slowly shaking his head in sympathy. “That is pretty bad.”
“I’ve only gotten started!” Twilight promised, and her horn lit up. Alpha Brass’s horn did as well, but she didn’t worry much about it, not until her spell had been cast. She hadn’t felt any magic at work on herself, so -
“NOO!” Shining Armor cried, likely regretting dropping his barrier after the sonic attacks had died down. The proud knight and Captain of the Royal Guard was in a bad state. Twilight accessed the damage she had done to him with huge eyes, only to break down into a laugh.
“A fluffy pony!” Euporie cried, tears in her eyes as she pointed at the now fully puffed-up Shining Armor. “You look like a huge, white hairball! With hooves!”
“Euporie,” Alpha Brass said, and it was poor warning, especially since he didn’t exactly sound vexed with his step-daughter. His horn glowed, and suddenly Euporie’s laughter died.
“Oh,” Eunomie said, dryly. “Your hooves.”
“PIINKKK!!” Euporie wailed, legs flailing wildly as she ran around like a mare on fire. Her hooves had been colored in a gaudy, neon pink, brighter than even Pinkie Pie’s favorite balloons, and they left bright streaks in the air as she waved them in every direction. Finally, the poor mare fell to her knees, eyes glimmering with tears, staring down at her pinkified appendages. “Dispel already! Dispel!”
“I see we’ve come to the part of the magic duel when the audience is used as target practice,” Eunomie dryly observed, noting that Arrow Head and Gale Force had made a hasty retreat into the forest rather than stick around. She turned to Zecora. “I suggest we relocate.”
It only took a moment for the zebra to see the wisdom in the pale mare’s words. The Fluffy-pony Shining Armor and Neon-Euporie did not bode well for the two remaining mares. Lo and behold, both Twilight and Alpha Brass were eyeing them, planning up some new spell to one-up the other.
“Relocation,” she agreed without a rhyme about how they should probably ‘hasten.’
They were already breaking into a run.
“Zecora! Come back!” Twilight called out. “I just want to try one more spell!”
“I’m impressed,” Brass admitted, stroking his now thickly bearded jawline. “I didn’t know Eunomie could run that quickly.”
“Don’t just stand there! Let’s go get them!”
- - -
In olden times, it was said that unicorns would live nowhere else than in the mountains, and that they were the most sure-footed of all ponies. Twilight giggled at the thought that some of her ancestors could see just how unsure she was, almost jumping with every rustle of rocks beneath her hooves. She could see well over the canopy of the Everfree forest from the windswept cliffside she clung to; it was like an ocean of dirty, discolored greens and browns, rolling and tumbling with hills like frozen waves. There was no order or reason to it. Bogs and swamps could appear suddenly to ensnare the unwary traveler, and sudden crags and steep falls could lurk behind the bushes and undergrowth.
Nature and previous denizens had carved a stony path for the two unicorns, though, and Twilight only paused to take in the sight for a moment. She had a story to tell.
“So, Pinkie Pie starts to twitch and tremble,” she said, holding out a hoof to help steady her partner. “If she were anypony else, I’d swear she was having an epileptic fit. But this was just her Pinkie sense going crazy again, so I could only stand there and dread what was going to happen next.”
Alpha Brass was a little dusty from their race through the forest after Zecora and Eunomie, and they both had more than a few smudges of dirt in their coats and on their manes and tails. The magic duel had ended in laughter and the sudden, spontaneous decision to show him one of the places that had been included in her friendship letters. From this far up, she could already see where the landslide that had nearly buried and scattered her friends was now crawling with moss and dirt, wild rainfall eroding the side of the mountain and covering boulders with mud.
“Suddenly she stops,” Twilight continued, laughing at herself in retrospect. “And she tells me that her Pinkie sense must’ve been warning her that I’d give up trying to understand her Pinkie sense. And that was it. All of that, and that was it!”
“At least you were spared another piano falling from on high,” Alpha Brass joked, but shook his head. “I’d be furious in your place, or at least at a loss for words.”
“I remember thinking maybe I should go back and vent my frustration on the hydra,” Twilight admitted.
“And did you?” Brass asked, and from the look she gave him, he needed to clarify, “Not the Hydra, but did you give up on investigating this Pinkie sense your friend has?”
“I did,” Twilight replied, and she started back up the crude path. What they needed was good line of sight on a place to teleport to.
“You did… for the time being, I would guess.”
“It is important to trust your friends and have faith in them. I was probably going a little overboard in obsessing over it.” Twilight coughed, adding, “Our science isn’t quite ready to explain the mysteries of Pinkie Pie. Maybe someday, but not yet.”
He chortled, a rumbling sort of laugh, and a few pebbles tumbled off the side of the sloping path underhoof.
“That reminds me,” Twilight said, one hoof on the side of the cliff wall, guiding her as she minded her steps. “I finally opened that puzzle box you sent me.”
“Ah!” Brass gave an only partly repressed sound of amusement, like a chuckle cut short. “It took me several days to open it myself. I trust you weren’t too disappointed with what was inside?”
“It was empty!” Twilight told him, glancing back over her shoulder at the stallion. “So, yeah, I was pretty disappointed at first!”
She faced forward again, and the path widened slightly as it turned inward and upward.
“But then I thought about it some more and I wondered if maybe that was the point.” She skipped easily over the root of a withered tree, clinging tenaciously to the path and the rocks below. “The prize was the puzzle itself. There didn’t need to be anything inside.”
“I’m relieved you think so,” Alpha Brass said, also stepping over the root. “Many other mares would have taken offense. I’ve always felt that, to do a thing for the sake of doing it; to unravel a mystery simply because it is there… the reward for such an effort cannot be measured except in the heart of the one who solves it.”
Twilight agreed. “I hope you have harder puzzles for next time, though!”
“I do believe I can find a few.”
The path carved roughly through a cleft in the rock, and soon sloping hillsides penned the two in both left and right, worn by wind and water. Loose pebbles rolled beneath their hooves, the remains of landslides that probably predated either of their being born. Twilight jumped up onto a rock as the path ended, and Alpha Brass followed, and soon they were at the top of the slope.
“There,” Twilight pointed. From their new perch, they had an easy line of sight to the lip of a path leading up to the top of the mountain. It would be a challenging teleport for most ponies, but Twilight Sparkle held out a hoof, unconcerned and confident in her ability. Brass took her hoof and a moment later, emerging from a pop of displaced air, and the two unicorns were a hundred meters higher than they had been before.
“The puzzle box you got me,” Twilight remarked, as they ascended the wider path. A few blocks of rock had even been carved here into wide, flat, and irregular steps. “Did you have it made yourself?”
“The one I gave you?” Brass asked. “No. That one was actually a gift from my mother.”
“Your mother… Lady Star Light?”
“Yes, she was always fond of mathematical puzzles, arcane curiosities, and anything that could not be easily known or understood,” he explained, and it was finally wide enough for the two ponies to walk side by side. “Ah ha. I just thought of something you may find amusing. About my mother and myself. When I was very little, she would take me with her to this place or that. You know the story: fathers favor their daughters, mothers their sons…”
“She took me to an auction, when I was a little colt, and had me guess at what various things would go for. To help me develop a keen eye, she said. I knew the value of copper and silver and gold, and I made as accurate a guess as I could when I saw the jewels and finery and goldsmithing on display. But, when I came to a painting, I thought for a moment, and told my lady mother: the oils must have cost at most two bits, the canvas half a bit, and the brushes another half. The painting was of a plain looking mare and not a Princess or noble. Assuming as I did that it had taken about a week to make, I placed the value at a very generous fifty bits.”
“Let me guess: you were a little off?” Twilight predicted, and he grinned, nodding in good cheer.
“Oh, just a little,” he conceded. “The painting was an original Reneigh, and it sold for one hundred and sixteen thousand bits.” Alpha Brass rolled his shoulders and the movement tossed his mane slightly behind him. “I learned then, that many things in Equestria were of subjective value. It was all in the eye of the beholder. For many ponies, that piece of oil and canvas was worth more than a chest of gold.”
“An original Reneigh?” Twilight was no artist, but she knew the name of the famous pony painter. “Princess Celestia has several of his paintings. I think she’s a fan.”
“Supposedly he painted her, as well, and then never touched a brush again. His ‘Last Work,’ it is called.” Alpha Brass glanced at the Princess’s apprentice. “There wouldn’t be some truth to that, would there?”
“I probably wouldn’t know it if I saw it,” Twilight replied, thinking back for a moment. “A painting of Princess Celestia…?”
There were a few in the Palace.
“Then as now, our fair and radiant Royal Highness,” Brass said. “As for the Reneigh’s ‘Common Mare,’ I eventually purchased it for a hundred and eighty thousand bits and gave it to my mother as a gift for Hearts and Hooves Day. Father called it a colossal waste of money and said he was tempted to throw it in a fire.”
The pair shared a laugh as they walked, but the mention of Brass’s father raised a question that needed to be addressed, sooner or later.
“Alpha Brass, if… we do…” Twilight balked a little at describing it. What she meant to say was, ‘if we do go through with this and become engaged,’ “You said you had your mother’s support, but you’ll be going up against Lord Cruciger.”
“It was always my father’s dream to have one of his children wear the Platinum Crown,” the noble stallion said, rueful. “I call it his obsession. Lady Arsenic, ancient as she was, is dead. Getting the crown in one year or one hundred won’t impress her any more or any less.”
Twilight glanced away from him to hide her smile; she couldn’t agree more, and she didn’t think she could have put it better either. The path ahead of them narrowed slightly - that was it - and the two walked a little closer. It was a good excuse, though it sort of lost credibility as they approached the wide mouth of the cave and the smoothed surface of the precipice that provided easy access. Here, the flat footing was wide and accommodating enough for a fully grown dragon to land and stretch out.
“Don’t tell me you girls really managed to resist helping yourself to just a little of that dragon’s hoard?” Brass asked, this time taking the lead as they entered the cavernous hollow in the mountainside. It had all been dug and shaped and smoothed by the dragon who had roosted here. It was safe as anywhere in the Everfree now, but the gloom was much deeper now that it was unoccupied. Twilight was a little thankful Brass had gone ahead, his horn lighting up.
His horn swished to the left and right, leaving contrails of light behind.
A moment later, and the light drifted off and bubbled together into an illuminating orb. Twilight quickly mimicked the spell, producing a pair of faintly purple globes that helped to fill the massive chamber with a soft glow. Gone were the piles of gold and treasure that the mature wyrm had once gathered together. All that was left was a polished smooth floor, like obsidian glass, that felt strange and pliant underhoof.
“After he found a new roost, he came back and took his hoard with him,” Twilight explained, looking around the cave. “And I’m pretty sure he would have taken offense if one of us had helped a few rubies disappear. I do think Rarity was pretty badly tempted, though.”
“Your description painted it as hills of gold and piles of treasure higher than a pony,” Brass said, taking in a deep breath as he tried to imagine it. “What a sight it must have been: the great beast sleeping in a bed of gold! We have dragons in the colonies, and we’ve sometimes had to dislodge them from roosts, but nothing like what you must have had here.”
“Hard to believe they start off so small.” Twilight held one hoof up off the ground, to less than chest height. “Spike’s egg was this high. Maybe even smaller… and one day, he’ll be big enough to fill half this cave.”
“Not to dispute his claim to such a lofty roost, but I think this cave has had some more recent visitors,” Alpha Brass said, trotting over to a dusty patch of ground. It was glassy, like most of the dragon lair, but on close inspection Twilight could see some signs of charring.
“Juvenile dragons enjoy warm surfaces, and often burn a spot before sleeping on it,” Brass said, demonstrating a bit of dragon lore Twilight was not familiar with herself. “Before you ask, most of our problems on the border come from juveniles, rather than adults. My guardsponies have learned to look for signs of their coming and going.”
“That doesn’t explain how you recognize it,” Twilight argued, but she could see what he meant about the floor. It was glossy and charred, in a way that recalled how Spike’s fire could burn things when it didn’t translocate them to the Princess.
“I’ve gone on patrol with my guard from time to time and lent my aid to the common ponies,” Brass replied with an easy shrug. “I’m of the view that ponies like seeing their lord or lady active and interested in their problems. A lord is only as powerful as his subordinates let him be, and a powerful pony with no friends is … nothing more than an outlaw, really.”
He smiled at her again, in a very personal way that drove home the fact that they were alone together. Two unicorns, engagement on the table, in a secluded cave, and this was a date. Albeit it had started out as a very formal one. They had already held hooves, and her “Novice’s Guide to Dating” (volume three) did say that many couples tested the waters of a new relationship with a kiss or two. Or-or was that going too fast? It was one thing to write up a marriage contract, but k-kissing…?
Twilight felt her heart pick up again, and quickly spun around. “Maybe we shouldn’t… stick around…”
“I wouldn’t worry. These dragons came and went. The ground is charred, but cold.” She heard the stallion’s hooves clop-clop as he walked past her. “This is also a good spot to discuss certain things.”
“Certain… things?” Twilight asked. “What do you mean?”
“I really have enjoyed speaking with you casually, Twilight Sparkle,” he said, facing her again and standing between her and the exit. “I wish we could spend all day here with you, without broaching darker things. But that isn’t to be. While we are … nearly alone, we must talk about a threat to Equestria.”
It took a second for his words to settle in, and then she had two questions on her mind.
“Nearly alone?” she asked, backing up a step. “And… a threat to Equestria? I-I don’t understand.”
“Eunomie,” Alpha Brass said, letting out a long breath that wasn’t quite a sigh. It was as if he dreaded what saying that name meant. “Please, reveal yourself. I understand your reluctance to show off this trick of yours, but this is the place to make our move, and I intend to trust Lady Sparkle.”
“I still don’t-” Twilight’s statement was cut short as she saw a swirl of wind take form, becoming crystal. “Galen?”
The arcane familiar winked and bobbed, and a second later, Eunomie appeared in a flash of light.
“You… teleported?” Twilight asked, mind racing not just in surprise, but academic fascination. “You did! But how? We left everypony else down near Zecora’s place!”
She tapped a hoof against the smooth cavern floor.
“Of course! Galen!” she reasoned. “You can teleport to wherever your familiar is? Or was it… Yes! That has to be it! A recall spell… but used in reverse!”
“You are as sharp as ponies say,” Alpha Brass complimented her, even as he erected a transparent and nearly invisible barrier over the mouth of the dragon’s cave.
“A reverse recall spell,” Eunomie said, bowing her head to the librarian and element of magic. “That is correct. Just as I can bring Galen to myself, Galen can bring me to him, over any distance. To have deduced it so quickly, you are truly impressive, Twilight Sparkle.”
“Oh, but! But how did you resolve the mass discontinuity?” Twilight sat down with an introspective grumble, head rocking back and forth as she tried to solve the mystery. “Shade’s Shadowy Summoning could do it, but…”
“I can explain more later,” Eunomie said, and she began to walk around until she was standing to Twilight’s left. “I believe my lord father wishes words.”
“Thank you, Eunomie,” Alpha Brass said, and he trotted closer to Twilight, reaching out with a golden hoof. “Twilight, as I said, there is a threat to Equestria. A grave one. I would have brought it up earlier, but I needed to separate us from your brother and his guards... first by threatening them with our magical duel, and then by escaping into the mountains here.”
“But - but I thought we were just…” she wanted to say, ‘having fun’ or ‘getting to know one another.’
“There was that, too,” he promised. “I also wanted to understand you better.”
Twilight took his hoof, letting him help her back up onto all fours. “This threat to Equestria,” she said, growing serious. All the other stuff could be put aside. “What is it?”
“My story is rather fantastic, so… it is best if your eyes will believe me first,” Alpha Brass told her, holding out a hoof. Just as Eunomie had, he conjured up a packet of salt and ash, and as the grains fell, they formed a circle. It was identical to Eunomie’s.
Matter. Power. Movement.
Pass. Wall. Key.
Twilight had expected that to be it, except the stallion stamped his hoof down in the center of the circle. When he raised it up, there was a new glyph burning orange and yellow in the impression left by his hoof.
“Secret,” Twilight said, reading the previously unused rune.
“I control all means of entrance and egress to my domain,” Brass explained, “Including a few back doors.”
There was a brief wait, on the other end of the circle, and then it burned hot and white. Now that she had seen it, tasted it even, Twilight recognized the color. It had been there, even when Eunomie used the spell. It was the magic of Lord Alpha Brass, blazing within the blackness of the in-between and the fire of the physical, chemical plane. What emerged from the summoning was not what Twilight had expected.
It was a cage.
And within the cage, a one-winged pegasus glared balefully at the three unicorns. She was clearly malnourished, her coat a faded gray with patches of dirty black. Her mane and tail were sparse and limp, the color and likeness of seaweed as much as hair. Her one remaining wing snapped, angrily, against the bars of her cage.
“What… what is this?” Twilight gasped. She turned to the pony she had spent hours talking to, casting magic with, and climbing a mountain alongside. “Alpha Brass, what is this? Who is she? Why is she in a cage?”
“Assume this one’s form,” Brass commanded, directing his gaze down at the caged pony. She hissed, and Twilight saw sharp pointed needle-teeth behind her lips.
“Now,” Brass’s voice was soft, but it echoed in Twilight’s ears. It reminded her of how Celestia could whisper, and silence a throne room full of squabbling. It was the Royal Canterlot Voice. But this was the first time Twilight had seen it performed outside of the royal family of the Princesses and Blueblood.
Then, to Twilight’s shock…
The pegasus transformed. Her coat shifted somewhere under the skin, the color changing like the hide of an octopus, purple spots expanding and meeting until they filled in completely. The former pegasus took on a familiar shade of lavender and a horn materialized on her head. Her single wing melted away after folding back to her side, until it was as if it had never been there.
It was eerie, surreal, and even a little sickening when a ripple went through the creature’s blue mane, adding in her trademark violet and blush colored highlights.
“What - what on Equestria are you?” Twilight asked, staring at the caged unicorn.
“What on Equestria are you?” the other-Twilight Sparkle mocked, replicating her voice perfectly. “I’m you.”
“No. No you-” Twilight, the real one, spun on Eunomie for an answer, and then her step-father. “Who is this? How can she do that? It isn’t an illusion spell…!”
“They are called ‘changelings,’” Eunomie said.
“Now,” Brass said to the creature, still quiet, and still irresistible. “Show Lady Sparkle your true form.”
The lavender unicorn made a sound that Twilight never imagined could come from a pony’s lungs. It was like chattering. Like a mouth making a sound inside a mouth. The Changeling did as Alpha Brass commanded it, however. This time, when the creature’s body shifted and rippled, nothing took the place of the previous disguise.
What was left was black chitin and membranous wing, pockmarked by holes and linked by green-black segments. The legs seemed barely functional for holding the creature up, perforated at they were, and this was exacerbated by the previous almost skeletal condition of the so called ‘changeling.’ A crude curved horn - inky black - jutted out from its head; the mane completely vanished, and the tail only existed as a flap of web-like membrane. The wing that had folded back stretched out, and Twilight could see the individual cells of it - like those of a parasprite or horse-fly, but writ large. The eyes were pupil-less and light blue, reflective like a lagoon’s surface, and as the changeling opened its mouth, the librarian could see vicious fangs amid the needle-like dentition.
“Equestria, our beautiful Equestria, has become infested with these parasites,” Alpha Brass began.
“What happened to the other wing?” Twilight asked, before he could say more. It looked like the joint where the other wing had once been attached had been cauterized.
“I removed it,” the stallion explained, his deep turquoise eyes turning cold as they settled on the changeling. “It was a necessary deception, just as keeping this one captive was also necessary. If I had told you, without proof, that thousands of creatures across Equestria were impersonating ponies… would you have believed me? An example was needed.”
“If this changeling can impersonate anypony,” the element of magic asked, needing answers now. “How did you catch him? Or her? Or it?”
“Her,” he replied. “The drones are all female, though they can impersonate a stallion as easily as they can a mare. As for how…”
“Father,” Eunomie warned, “Is it wise to reveal-”
“I spoke with the Queen of the Changelings less than twenty hours ago,” he told Twilight Sparkle, not smiling, but not frowning either. His mouth was clamped in a tight line. “You see, she and I have been working together for years.”
Twilight shook her head, unable to believe it. “You… couldn’t…!”
“I married Lady Olive Branch when I was barely in my teens,” Alpha Brass said, his eyes drifting up to the ceiling above them. “For my family, of course: for glory and prestige and power. The Terre Rare were to control Equestria’s borders, and I gladly took the task to heart. Olive Branch was older than my mother, but she was respected as a peacemaker and negotiator. It was a convenient match.”
“Imagine my surprise, then, when I found myself webbed one morning to the bed, restrained.” He held up one hoof, and then the other. “Black threads bound me to the bed. Breathing itself was a labor, they were so tight. I turned my eyes upward, and there saw my new wife… shedding her skin. A creature like you see here then deposited an egg on me.”
“What I beheld was the changing of the guard, as one Queen gave birth to another. That very night, I was made to take the egg, and find it a host to imprint on: an alicorn, who was sleeping just down the hall, a guest in our home. I did not love my wife, Lady Olive Branch, but what feelings I had were enough to bind me. I took the egg, squirming and wet, to the room of my friend… and there it bonded and created a new Queen Chrysalis, more terrible and powerful than any other before.”
“She soon assumed the form of my wife as well, and as mother and daughter fed on me, the love I felt for the world began to fade, leaving only emptiness and despair. But I am no cup to drink from! I am no blood meal! I am Terre Rare, as you are, Twilight Sparkle.” Alpha Brass smiled and his green eyes shone bright with an inner fire. “I am poison, and as she found other sources to feed on, I regained my freedom.”
“I learned that there were other changelings in Equestria: hundreds, in hiding, moving from host to host, from ruined relationship to tainted friendship. I promised to aid the egg that became the new Queen. I promised her what she desired: to be greater than any before her. I promised her power and I seeded changelings in the inner circles of Equestria, because I knew it was better to have enemies in places I knew about than ones I did not. I took Euporie and Eunomie, my new step-daughters, and I raised them, ensuring that they, too, were poison for changelings.”
“The Princess,” Twilight muttered, floored by all she had heard: changelings, hundreds or even thousands of them, all across Equestria? Aided by… by this stallion? She imagined what he had described, that she was webbed helpless to a bed, while the one she had married and sworn vows to turned into a insect-like monster. It was too horrible. It was just too horrible.
“We have to warn Princess Celestia!” she said, stamping a hoof. “She has to know!”
“If you do,” Alpha Brass warned, leaning down. It was only a few inches closer, but Twilight felt like he was whispering in her ear. “Chrysalis will know that she knows, and the changelings will go deeper into hiding.”
“If - if the Queen is the one doing all this-”
“Then I just need to kill her?” Brass asked, and shook his head. “As long as a single drone exists, it can turn into a Queen, and all this will repeat, a century later. Queen Chrysalis must not die, because without her no pony will have any control of the changeling swarm. It will run wild. A new Queen could rise, or two, or a dozen. Generations of ponies will be plagued by them.”
Twilight was momentarily at a loss. He was right.
If what he was saying was true, this ‘Queen Chrysalis’ was keeping things under control. They needed the changeling Queen. Twilight watched the caged changeling, and how it glared and listened, watching and waiting. She had no doubt that if it escaped, it would take somepony’s form. It would find a way back to other changelings, and Chrysalis would know everything they had talked about here.
“You have a plan,” she stated, knowing that everything he had said was to lead up to this.
“I do have a plan,” Alpha Brass said. He held up his hoof, high. “All the changelings must converge on one place. Every. Single. One. They must swarm, together. And together as a swarm-” The Golden Marquis slammed his hoof down with a crunch. “We destroy them.”
Twilight could understand the terrible simplicity of the plan. It was like dealing with parasprites. Nopony could deal with them individually. They multiplied and spread too fast. Just like Pinkie Pie had done, they needed to be rounded up and removed, en masse. But - but was killing them really necessary? They were monsters, but…
“Is that the only way?” she asked, looking to Eunomie and Brass both for some hesitation.
“It is the most efficient solution,” Eunomie said, emotionless.
“Nopony knows these creatures better than I,” Alpha Brass said, lowering his eyes and taking a step towards her. “They are parasites, and left unchecked, they will drain Equestria of love… and friendship… and even the passion that brings us art and beauty. They will consume it all and turn on our neighbors like a plague. Chrysalis is not like her predecessors.” He looked up, and Twilight could see the truth in his eyes as he spoke. “I know her dreams, and they are black… and deep… and they frighten even me.”
“To draw them all to one place,” Twilight consented, finally nodding in agreement. “It would have to be something too tempting to pass up.”
“It will be blood in the water that draws them. It will be the royal wedding,” he said, standing tall and placing a comforting hoof on her shoulders. “It will be nothing less than Canterlot itself.”
“Canterlot!” Twilight gasped. “But the Princesses…!”
“Will be our greatest weapons!” Brass agreed, “But they cannot know. Not until the last second. Not until all is in place.”
“I can’t… keeping this from Princess Celestia…?” Twilight struggled with it: with the very idea. How could he be asking her to keep something this big, this terrible, from her mentor? From her Princess?
“Do we have to?” she asked, almost desperately. “Can’t we tell her in private? I could talk to her, alone, just like you and I are doing now! Or write to her once Spike gets back. Nopony else will know!”
“And what would we gain from that risk?” he asked her, and Twilight didn’t have an answer. The Royal Guard came to mind, but any alert there could in turn alert the changelings. She remembered that Brass had specifically mentioned the two pegasus ponies with Shining Armor.
“The Royal Guard is compromised,” she realized, and it hit her like a hoof to the stomach.
“Very much so,” Alpha Brass confirmed her suspicion. “Princess Luna’s guard as well. The circle that knows must be kept small. I am trusting you with my life, Twilight Sparkle. If Chrysalis learns of my treachery, I will die first, and then my step daughters. You will see us again, but we will not be us. We will be them, and Equestria will be in greater danger than ever.”
He then did something she never would have expected.
He bowed his head to her, until his horn almost touched the floor.
“Keep this secret,” he pleaded, and a quick glance over at Eunomie showed that the stoic mare was almost visibly shocked by her step-father’s actions. “You are the Element of Magic, Twilight Sparkle. If there was doubt before, I am now willing to bet my life on it: I know you are a good mare, with the heart of a hero. Help me save Equestria! Work with me!”
“I… of course I will!” Twilight assured him, and reached down to help him stand straight. “You don’t need to bow to me… or - or beg me to help. Please, get up. I’m with you. I’ll help you.”
Alpha Brass smiled, and Twilight had the feeling that it was tinged with sadness. She could only imagine all this pony had been through: married off at such a young age, only to find horrors waiting for him that he could not have been prepared for. What impossible odds had he struggled against; what had he sacrificed and lost? She had never known. She had seen him visit her family from time to time, but she could never have known what he was escaping from in those days spent with her parents and her brother and the other relatives who were the Terre Rare in Canterlot. She wanted to help him.
She needed to help him.
“You have no idea how relieved that makes me,” he said, cupping her hoof in his own for just a moment. “Together, we will save Equestria. I swear it. And if the Princess is upset, I will gladly bear all responsibility for what was done. I will accept any punishment for my actions, but only after my country and the ponies who rely on me are safe and sound.”
Twilight understood, though she secretly vowed not to let him take all the blame, when the time came. If Rainbow Dash had taught her anything, it was loyalty, and that meant never hanging your friends out to dry.
“I’ll do whatever I can,” she promised.
“Thank you.” Alpha Brass raised the back of her hoof to his lips and gave it a quick, chaste kiss. “There are only two other matters… the most pressing of which requires the help of my step-daughter. Eunomie?”
“Yes, father.” The quiet mare stepped forward, found a spot, and sat down. “I will only need a moment to concentrate.”
Twilight watched, intrigued, as Eunomie displayed yet another trick… even if it was one she had seen before. The last time, though, it had been three mages working in tandem. That had been during Rarity’s duel with Antimony, when Lord Cruciger had been present via a magically possessed proxy. Alone, Eunomie needed time to gather the magic required, but like everything she set her mind to doing, she did it… eventually.
The pale mare’s body took on a mirage-like overlay.
Eunomie’s amber eyes opened, but quickly became shrouded over by light purple and lilac. Her white coat tinted rose and then pink. Her legs elongated as the illusionary image around her solidified, bit by bit. A gasp escaped her lips, along with a faint ‘aaaaah’ but it didn’t sound like the Eunomie Twilight had come to know. Finally, color overlaid her mane, dying it in white gold and then purple and rose… and when feathered wings stretched out from the sides of her body, Eunomie vanished entirely into the illusion.
‘No, not just an illusion…’ Twilight reminded herself. ‘This spell… is a possession spell.’
“Twi-light,” the alicorn image said, eyes fully open. “Is that really you?”
“No,” the changeling hissed within its cage, bodily throwing itself against the bars. “No! Not you! You can’t be!”
Twilight Sparkle barely registered the creature’s fits. She murmured a name, barely loud enough to hear her own words.
“Allow me to introduce the fifth member of our inner circle,” Alpha Brass said, and this time he did whisper the secret gently into Twilight’s ear. “Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”
Wait, so the Royal Wedding is a conspiracy to commit genocide? Okay, now we are in alternate universe territory, if we weren't before.
Sounds interesting...
I... Am... SO... Confused... SO Alpha Brass is the GOOD guy... I mean I'm finding it REALLY hard not to dislike him now, I mean he's secretive and manipulative but I can live with that since apparently its for a good cause... but ARGH can't figure out whose good or bad anymore!
Wheels within wheels...
Well, well, well.
That is clever. Rather than deny that his plans exist, he's re-framing them so they appear to be in service of Equestria. These plots are practically byzantine. The question now is how our erstwhile hero will react.
Or as Zecora might put it. The spider has spun his web and told his lie. Will Twilight see through his tricks or fail and die?
I really want to believe Brass is on the level, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's deceiving Twilight
a little startling to remember that this universe didn't know about changelings, but that's all my bad
Looking forward to where this goes, as usual. keep it up!
Oh man, don't drop your guard around him, Twilight!
I knew that the assumption that the de-winged changeling was dead was a bad one, but I didn't see this twist coming.
Cadance, I'm assuming?
And now I have no idea if Brass is a bad guy or not.
Damn it Brass, I don't know how to feel about you.
Still don't trust Brass as far as I could throw him. Doesn't explain why his daughters are out to ruin the Apple family's livelyhood with the Flim-Flam scheme.
But this tale has me thoroughly gripped.
Guess I have to echo the sentiment, I was sure Alpha Brass was the bad guy.. but to tell Twilight everything and have the real Cadance stashed away(I rather like her so, ya she's alive!). I can only guess Alpha is running a really complicated Xanathos Gambit. Still have to feel bad for Twilight, she never wanted to get involved in politics but now she's deep, deep down the rabbit hole. And I can't help but wonder how much of this Celestia is actually in on or responsible for, a thousand years by herself playing at politics, surely she's become an expert chess master.
Aww shit. For a While, I was thinking that he was Legit. And then he WASN'T T.T
Unless that's the REAL Cadance, Instead of Chrysalis Hiding AS Cadance being Summoned to fool Twilight into aiding the Wedding Plans so they're not foiled
I AM SO CONFUSED >:{[
plots within plots...
I approve.
Wow, this is convoluted as all hell, well done! I don't know who's on first, what's on second, who's running for home and if anything is true.
Plots within plots, within wheels, within lies and deceptions. I expect Brass is setting the Changelings up, but it's a mask to cover something else that he needs done during the wedding. Possibly trying to take Celestia out of the picture? Something in Canterlot? Hrmm....
I really do adore the twists in this story. Here I was, all fired up for brass to be a an evil, conniving mastermind, only to find he's a good, genocidal, conniving mastermind. Theoretically. I wouldn't be surprised if he plays both sides and serves his own agenda, since we still have the Torc in play.
My money is, if he brings up the torc with Twilight, then there's a 50% chance he's on the level. If he doesn't, then this is all just a plot to put himself on top.
So... Alpha Brass could be a good guy. But the only thing we know for sure about Alpha Brass is that he is manipulative and deceitful, and thus we have no idea what his true intentions are.
My guess, at the moment, is that he is using the changelings for his own purposes, and is arranging for their destruction once that purpose is completed (quite possibly for several of the reasons given in the chapter) to preempt their betrayal of him. After everything we've seen leading up to this point, I have a hard time believing that he is as altruistic as he sounds--he practically oozes sinister intent. It seems like every single scene that he's shown up in leading up tot his has been screaming "DO NOT TRUST THIS GUY!!!" at the top of its lungs (but subtly, in many cases. Subtle shouting is interesting to listen to).
So... where are Euporie and Eunomie from? If Olive Branch was the previous changeling queen, then how did she have pony children? Also, related to that, the conversation in the beginning--I get that Eunomie is no saint, but the way her sister spoke to her...is Euporie working her mind magic on her own sister, or was that more mundane manipulations? Or am I looking too deeply into it?
I am a touch surprised that Twilight didn't respond to Alpha Brass's use of fire with aether (assuming you're using the Greek classical elements for this story, of course--their version of quintessence was aether, other cultures had different ideas). It sort of seems like something she'd do, but maybe it doesn't exist in this storyverse, or is only usable by the Princesses?
You know, there was something I was wondering about. Earlier in the story, Twilight was wondering if Antimony and Arsenic had been creating new magic, and seemed to go on quite a bit on how marvelous the idea was and how nopony had done that in an age. Will Twilight ever try her hooves at discovering a new form or use for magic? You did seem to put a bit of emphasis on it, but that could have just been worldbuilding.
An amazing chapter--of course, it always is, but you'd have to really, really try to make a more surprising chapter than this.
1801639 I'm unlikely to have put it quite that way. But yes.
1807551 I'm afraid we've been in alternate universe territory since the beginning of the second Grand Galloping Gala in The Best Night Ever.
1807577 Well, for what it's worth, IIRC the good Cap'n mentioned that Brass was his most evil OC, although he didn't consider Brass as evil as the (apparent) villain of Flight of the Alicorn. (I still think she was somebody else's pawn.)
He's pushing Twilight's buttons to help him off Chrysalis. Sure, she's a threat to Equestria, but that's not why he's doing it.
Can't help but notice that Brass apparently sicced Chrysalis on sister Antimony since it turns out he still has the (not exactly burned to ash) changeling that matches the wing he showed the queen.
1807650 If Twilight fails, death is one of the better outcomes for her.
1807854 I'm inclined to think that it's the real Cadance rather than Chrysalis, since if that were Chrysalis in disguise Brass just showed off her imprisoned minion that he earlier assured her was crispy critter. Of course, Cadance seems to be just as idealistic as Twilight, which simplifies things from Brass's PoV; one set of lies to keep track of, and both can assure the other that they've independently seen things that support Brass's tale.
1807922 It's certainly unclear how Brass is using the changelings; he almost certainly really does need them out of the way for his own plans, though. At the least if his changeling genocide plan works he's gotten in good with both Cadance and Twilight.
It's worth pointing out, though, that his refusal to share his knowledge of the changeling threat with Celestia is a warning flag, because with Twilight he really does have someone who can get a truly private audience with the Princess... without attracting much attention... and Celestia has the power and experience to handle the threat better than just about anyone else. Especially since his plan seems to revolve around using the princesses to squash the changelings once they're all gathered.
GOD DAMMIT
I still don't trust you, Brass. But we'll see if that's the REAL Cadence. I bet you all it isn't.
A second comment for a single chapter, but I've come to the conclusion that I should finally be up to coming clean about how I feel about this story.
I like this story, a lot. I'm desperate to know what happens next, and I want to know how this is going to all end. And yet, everytime I see this story updates, I cringe a little as I eagerly partake in reading it.
Why? Because I don't know what I'm reading anymore.
The Antimony arc of this story was extremely well crafted. It was well-paced, well contained, and was a strong story about a well-written, single character over coming a set obstacle with the help of friends. Rarity working to become accepted in a noble society. We've gone from that, to Twilight getting engaged to a deceitful character and having to stop a changeling invasion.
...What happened?
It started out innocently enough. Rarity is going to have to deal with other challengers- alright, that makes sense. Oh, Spike has identity issues? Well at least you wrapped that up in its own self-contained arc. But wait- now Rainbow has to deal with somebody? Ok, that's cool. And now..AJ does too? With Flim and Flam, who are sponsored by crazy twins? Alright. Wait, we have to focus on Lyra a bit? Oh. Ok. Oh but now we have Scootaloo dealing with somebody and trying to grow and fly. I see. But what about Rarity's relationship? That's good to see. Wait, Fluttershy makes a new friend? Well, that's different. Oh snap, now we got this villain Alphra Brass and he's dealing with changelings. I wonder how that's going to turn out. Oh, now AJ and Rarity are having a conflict. Though Flim and Flam have kind of stopped existing. And Pinkie Pie has funky things going on with this weird twin pony! And now Twilight is the main character. I'm probably forgetting a couple of things because there's so much going on.
You have devoted waaaaay too many subplots into this story. There is literally TOO MUCH going on. And I cringe everytime I have to read another chapter, becuase I know I'm going to get more questions than answers, more new problems than resolutions, everytime I open this story. And I'm desperate to know what happens, and how these problems are overcome, but I dread things more and more when I know you're not going to wrap anything up. Plots within plots isn't always a good thing- and it's become more than a single story can bea.
The characters are all well written and interesting. These individual stories, independently, are fascinating, and contain a lot of strong ideas. But it is a gigantic, convuluted, mess, and it is not cohesive, or consistent, to what this story started out as. This feels like it should be 3-10 different stories, not 1. You try to do too much in a single story- and what happens is that you end up forgetting about problems and elements that need resolving while you go onto your next cool, awesome, epic little subplot.
Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way. I don't know, but I had to get it off my chest. I'm not honestly sure what the solution is at this point. But maybe you should step back and try to solve a few things before you jump into this nest of changelings. Or perhaps you should start considering breaking off into a new story that stars Twilight. I don't know.
You've got yourself a dedicated reader, who truly loves your work. But it's just such a crazed thing to read at this point.
So many crossings! I am glad air stayed up to read this chapter. so many goings on to ponder...
Sounds like this will be a Royal Wedding worth having... and worth crashing
Agreed with half the other commentators, now I'm not sure what to believe about Brass. I want to hope he's on the level, but in a story like this, you never know.
I have a request for you. Pause with the villains. Invoke somepony who could be a villain, but won't be. Make one of the Contenders for the Crown surprisingly harmless, or even just reasonable enough to look at the storm brewing and realize how vanishingly low the odds of a satisfying victory are. You've created enough Trouble now that you need to step it down or the entire story will start becoming pointless: When winning the game becomes worse than not playing, ponies should start excusing themselves from the competition.
I can't think of any characters who can pull up stakes and leave without damaging the story, so a better solution would be to create a surprising hero or two to demonstrate that the fight remains worthwhile for all involved.
EDIT: It's something to keep in mind when considering characters with unclear characterization that could still go in multiple directions (Cadance, Chalice, Eunomie, most of Antimony's past duel conquests, Antimony herself). The established heroes are vastly outnumbered by the established villains at this point. You've crafted a Narrative of Good Intentions, a classic tragic structure where the real dangers aren't the people who are obviously acting evilly (Ritter, Euporie, Chrysalis) but the people who are acting to advance causes they believe are good (All the Terre Rares, even Twilight Sparkle and the Canterlot Rares). The list of characters who are acting to advance good causes and who are doing so in a way that has any chance of turning out well is pretty much reduced to Rarity and Blue Blood at this point.
Im starting a betting pool, 50bits says Brass is a rotten egg!
Big...
Too big...
Enact a plan to kill Alpha Brass, but hold off on the final orders. Consolidate power and form a small group of killers (not warriors) loyal to you and you alone. If he's on the level, do nothing, but be ready to kill him at a moments notice. Be ready to attack others. Learn how to kill, not to duel.
I'd also strongly advise extreme paranoia.
1808238
I agree.
1808422
It doesn't seem that bad to me. Brass's plan has an absurd number of moving pieces it seems, and I get the feeling that if anyone figures him out it quickly would become a dogpile of all the other villains and heroes attacking him. The Terre Rare plot may resolve via Brass and isn't really that unwinnable for Twilight even without him. Antimony is already headed towards war with Chrysalis and maybe Brass too.
So, 1) Alpha Brass seems like a good guy here; but 2) we know that he's cunning and manipulative. So, obviously he's a bad guy. The 'don't tell Celestia' is a giant red flag too.
I wouldn't trust Brass but Twilight is still new to the gambit pileup game.
1808238 1808562
You two have obviously never read a Harry Turtledove series. Try having twenty-five main characters that only occasionally intersect and all have their own viewpoint. Then realize that he kills at least three characters per book and switches that POV to a new person.
Keeping track of everything is this story is cakewalk. Especially since it's all so interconnected.
1808623
Every single one of Brass's plans is fragile. Collectively, they are not fragile. It's the thousand-schemes ploy. I count at least three layers of fallback planning in what he's doing, and he literally can't succeed at every plan he's got going. They're contradictory to each other. He obviously has preferences - an ideal order in which he'd like to backstab others, and possibly even a pony or two he'd rather not backstab at all if it can be avoided - but if his first preferred plans fail (and fail, and fail) he could still end up with an outcome he finds tolerable. Unless he decides to put Twilight Sparkle in a death trap and monologue villainously, I just don't see a dogpile on Alpha Brass coming in.
Chrysalis, on the other hoof, is playing with just as many moving parts, and not half as many fallback plans. That's why she's not that dangerous. She's the one who'd get dogpiled if anything were exposed.
You've got a point I hadn't considered with Antimony. Antimony and Alpha Brass are very likely to end up at war, and that doesn't look like it's well-accounted for in any of Brass's plans.
I was under the impression that the Cadance that appears at the end of chapter 25 was the real thing, appearing via projection from a safe house that Alpha Brass had her stashed in, to protect her from Crysalis who likely believes Alpha eliminated the princess. Alpha does very much feel like a Xanathos style planner, having set things up so that no matter the outcome he comes out on top. Letting others destroy one another then when the dust clears he can convince who ever is left standing he was on their side all along. He already relieved to others that if Celestia and Luna should fall he has Twilight to replace them. Equestia would easily believe that Twilight was Celestia's chose heir(she even really might be) and Alpha could make himself the power behind the throne.
1808737
I don't know if it works better in the situation you described. Maybe it does, because he probably actually sets out to write a story like that. Looking at before and after Antimony is like night and day. It started out as a story about Rarity, and to a lesser extent, Blueblood- in the world of Equestrian nobility. Now it's a story about every character imaginable, canon and OC, except maybe the kitchen sink.
Game of Thrones does similar to this Harry Turtledove (though with a lot less characters), but I don't think I really liked it there either; I got annoyed by unresolving subplots that I didn't enjoy reading there, and dropped it mid way through book-3.
Irregardless, I just don't think it's working as well here as it does in those aforementioned books. It's just not as well organized and structured as it could be, and unlike in Game of Thrones (or maybe in Turtledove- haven't read it), it doesn't feel like everything is being remembered. Here, things just feel like they're getting forgotten because some great new idea popped up. Remember that time control sand pony that was going to challenge Rarity? How about that pony who sold Lyra the Torc that was supposed to be watching over the mane 6? Just how long is Spke supposed to be gone, anyway? And just how long is Cider season? Events that should be timely are just getting ignored for other things for chapters on end, because there is no clear sense of time, and it just makes it feel like things are lost.
1809578
The implication that the story suddenly shifted modes after the duel doesn't hold much weight. Lyra and her torc were introduced before the duel, as were the ponies keeping an eye on the mane six, Celestia's subtle manipulations, the greater darkness in the Terre Rare, and Blueblood's time among the griffins in Crown Roc. There have been multiple plot threads at work since the beginning.
Though I understand your complaints I think it has more to do with a lack of patience on your part than a problem with the writing. Especially since you said you did the same thing to A Song of Ice and Fire. Sometimes subplots take a long to resolve or are simply red herrings. Trust me, Jim Butcher will sneak in a plot thread that doesn't become important until five books later and then your jaw drops when you realize how momentous that seemly ordinary scene was.
Ah, an explanation for the marks on zebras. And they seem to be from a limited pool too.
Run Zecora, run!
Oh Twilight...
So, Alpha Bass is a great villain, he's the type that is fun to read, and he's playing everyone off of each other. When (if) he gets what's coming to him it will be glorious.
1809724
There were plot threads being woven in the first part of the work, but it doesn't change how much things changed after that arc. The story stopped keeping Rarity as the central focus to pay more attention to other characters, and the plot threads become much more important and in the forefront after Antimony fell. It felt like a tonal shift. Looking back at previous comments, Capn himself said that Antimony's fall was intended as a potential stopping point for the story- and it shows.
I didn't want to bring in other works with this because this kind of thinking working in other works does not necessarily mean it is working here. I don't like the validity of my argument being countered by an appeal to my person because I had a criticsm with A Song of Ice and Fire- which is just a weak argument based on title dropping alone (This guy had a problem with those books- but everyone knows those books are great, so he must be wrong about that and is thus wrong about this).
So, I propose we keep things centred around how its working in this story, not how it works in other works by other authors that may be using the technique more (or less) effectively.
The problem with how long it is taking these subplots to resolve (subplots that aren't simply red herrings) is that, again, they feel like they should be timely. With Flim and Flam and the Cider season, for instance- that feels like a threat that would remain in the town and continue to be a constant prescence as long as Cider Season was occuring- but it's kind of disappeared to the background and merely looms at this point. That just does not seem like an even that can loom, as we have no sense of how little sense Cider Season is or how long they've actually been there at this point.
Toward a feeling of there being too much happening; though it's true one can weave a lot of subplots to a story, and have them be effective, I think we've gotten to the point where there are too many still ongoing. When you have this many plots going on at once, it feels like things are unable to resolve not because the narrative demands that these problems continue, but because there are so many other things that need attention. Right now, I think the plot-lines feel too scattered. There isn't much sense of how a duel between RD and Risenkrutz is going to impact Twilight's dealings with the Terra Rare. There isn't much sense how Lyra's subplot is going to make any dramatic impact on the rest of the story. Nor is there much of a feeling that this orgy that Pinkie Pie is going to be a part of is going to make an impact on this grander narrative, other than causing a scandal, and it doesn't feel like it has anything to do with what anyone else is doing at this point.
There's a difference between having plot threads intersect as characters in different threads are able to interact with one another, and having plot threads truly mesh and weave to create a rich tapestry that feel like plucking out one thread will ruin the effect. Right now, I feel like if Risenkrutz and RD decided not to duel, or if Pinkie Pie cancelled her party, nothing significant would happen with the other narratives- and I think that's a problem.
What's wrong with a little complexity? At about 10k words a week there is plenty of time to keep each thread some focus in my opinion. Even if you think they aren't related or going to intersect (im sure most will), the author may just want to give each of the mane6 foes to face; who cares if Ritter or Yumi don't yet seem to effect the big Terre Rare plots much, they are excuses to read anime style fights and see the author's pegasi culture.
1809858
Yes, because examples from outside the story in question are never important. But if you'd like to focus solely on this story then very well.
I would disagree that the central focus has been lost, because you are mis-attributing where it belongs. The conflict is not Rarity vs the world it's the Terre Rare family's quest for power. At first we only see Antimony's attempts to take the crown, but after she fails the focus widens to reveal that Alpha Brass has been moving pieces behind the scenes and his target isn't just the crown. The rest of Mane six become involved because he has plans to deal with all of them as he attempts organize a coup with the changelings. All of the sub-plots are directly or indirectly connected to his bid for power.
As to your complaints about those sub-plots,
One. Flim and Flam 'merely looming'. You mean the conflict that is currently driving Applejack and Rarity apart, giving Yumi-hime an opening to both gain support among the Apples and secure an interview with Blueblood? Yes, that certainly isn't having any immediate effects.
Two. Ritterkreuz and RD's duel not having important implications. Because distracting the Wonderbolts, an elite military unit, gains Alpha Brass nothing while planning an invasion of Canterlot with the changelings. Ritterkreuz still hasn't revealed why she really started stirring up trouble, but I doubt it is a coincidence that she is occupying an Element of Harmony and part of the military's attention at this point in time.
Three. Lyra's subplot might not have a dramatic impact? Even though she has an ancient, powerful artifact, has been hoodwinked into following Alpha Brass, and will be present for the invasion? Yeah I doubt that will go anywhere.
Four. The orgy that Euporie is arranging could be canceled without anything significant happening? Despite the fact she's allied with changelings who feed on love and is attempting to involve the Element of Laughter in it?
You do use the word 'feel' so if you don't feel like any of it matters I can't really argue about that. I suppose then the only thing I can offer is that I feel this has an amazing plot and every thread in it tightly woven to the central conflict.
1810088
There is importance to them, but the previous use of them in this debate didn't really add much I felt (that being a justification of this story doing it because those published story it). I feel it more pertinent to focus on what's happening in this story, unless really detailed comparisons between this story and those are going to be utilized- but then not everyone has read those stories, which makes the debate less universal in language.
Addressing in turn;
1. "After she falls", yes, because we didn't have much of an idea of Brass before she did, and he was not YET a crucial part of the story before she fell. Her fall is actually what supposedly allows Brass to fully move- or it's indicated as such- and it thus, opened up a new section to the story. Brass has "plans", and they presumably handle the mane 6, but they're so vague that we can't attribute everything that is happening to him- especially because not every antagonist is under his total control, or have not been indicated as under his total control (Ritter, Yumie, Europie as she acts with Pinkie Pie).
2. Yes, the Flim and Flam impact is being felt- but the characters themselves have not appeared or spoken a word for ages now, in spite of how important they apparently are for the reasons you mention. They've become a convenient plot device that lurks in the background, because they never appear in the forefront anymore. Even though they apparently set up shop in the middle of town and have all sorts of business and attraction, and are causing all kinds of troubles for the Apple family, we don't see them acting at all. And I find that strange and disconcerting.
3. Maybe that's true- but the problem is that there is no clear link that Brass could have been impeded by the Wonderbolts or even Rainbow. We can speculate that this is the case, but there's nothing of substance I have seen in the text that really makes me feel that way. Ritter being her own agent, and working independent of Brass, adds to that- there doesn't seem to be any way that Brass could have planned Ritter acting as she does, and thus its questionable if he cared about the Wonderbolts in his plan.
4. Lyra's subplot will probably go somewhere, but it just feels too lost in space to what's going down below. All we know is that she has some mystical macguffin that has, as of yet, no links to any of the other plots. We aren't given much of any substance as to how these torcs are going to work, or why Lyra being a bridesmaid is going to matter, and thus the whole subplot feels lost in space. It will probably eventually go somewhere, but Capn could have done a much better job of making it feel like that subplot matters to what is going on elsewhere now by giving us a better sense of Lyra's role.
5. Yes, it doesn't have much to do with anything, because Europie is working independently of her father to do something that seems inconsequential as of yet (ponies are going to have sex! What does that have to do with a changeling invasion or the drama around Rarity?). I don't see how Pinkie Pie would impact anything if she wasn't involved with this orgy, and I don't see any links to this orgy and what is going on with the changelings or anything else- this chapter itself seems to discourage that idea that it is linked.
1809858
1809724
1808422
I’m still a bit exhausted from my usual frantic writeup to get the chapter in by the end of the week, but I thought it to be prudent to quickly interject a little here in the ongoing discussion! For once, separate from my normal comment responses, which will come a little later.
AQR does have a point. As an author, as the author, I can see it myself. I designed TPC in two parts: call them “A” (Antimony) and “B” (Brass). I thought I’d write A, and if I was enjoying myself (and if I found I had time to write again), then I would try for B. At the same time, I had no qualms about including plot points to B in sections of A. I hope this makes some sense?
Right now, we are at the thickest point of the B plots. It has taken me an insane amount of writing, but I’ve finally fleshed out all the major players I need for the finale and climax. Now, I didn’t necessarily need to do this much. I could have trimmed things down, but if I had, I think the end of the story (and people always remember the finale the most vividly) would suffer for it. There are many things in TPC going on in parallel, but they’ll come crashing together before the end.
I obviously can’t cut and paste my personal notes on things here, since it would spoil the entire story, but like below:
Lyra’s torc involvement
- received torc from Shady Deal (no, I haven’t forgotten him, but he’s tertiary tier)
- shared torc with Twilight (beginning involvement in the Brass plots)
- invited to Hanging Gardens
- reveals to readers about Brass’ magic, Chrysalis, his step-daughters, Yumi complicity, and methodology
- becomes Bridesmaid for wedding (beginning Cadence involvement)
At the point where we are here, I achieved with Lyra all that was needed to achieve, until she shows up again. Please: you know she will, I don’t think that’s a spoiler! Let’s look at another. Flim and Flam.
Flim Flam involvement
- receives support from Eunomie and Euporie
- intense competition with Apple Family (pressure on apple family involvement)
- Applejack’s attempts at resolution repeatedly fall flat
- relations strain between Rarity and Applejack over bailout of SAA
- SAA produce ‘super cider’ (Yumi involvement)
- ???
- ???
This one is very nearly resolved, too, except for three specific things: assuming the new cider works like AJ thinks it will, what will Flim and Flam do (or, what will happen to them)? What will Yumi do, now that Applejack has agreed to help her get a private audience with Blueblood at the Art Festival? Finally, when - and I’ve made it clear I hate having to write rifts between the mane six - will Rarity and Applejack reconcile, as the friends we know they are.
The entire story is basically composed of these small arcs, twisting and crossing around the main one: who will wear the crown of Canterlot? Currently, with Antimony duly defeated, that is still Rarity. She’s in the top dog position, and rather than being challenger, she is who the others must challenge. Ritter isn’t interested in the crown, just the fight for it (and Blueblood himself, in a non-marriage way), and has gotten appropriately sidetracked with Rainbow Dash. Yumi clearly still wants to try and press her case, and she isn’t squeamish about how. Antimony is gathering her forces in Prance for something, but we don’t know what. And the third active contender is “Sand Dune” - the one character who has yet to be fleshed out or even appear, but will play her part, ‘in due time.’
Funny you bring up Spike after this chapter (who do you think were the juvenile dragons who stayed in that cave), but just like Chalice and Fluttershy, Ritter and Scootaloo, Pinkie and Euporie, virtually everything I’ve written about is ultimately necessary and will play a part by the end. Cancel any one, and… we may not have the happy ending everyone wants.
Now, that said, I do think I have some pacing issues and my organization could be better. I’ve held off on things, rearranged chapters and orders of scenes, often to introduce or assimilate new show canon. Twilight’s focus has grown massively from when she was just opposite Antimony as a good Terre Rare, and training Rarity. Brass’s arc involves all the mane cast and all the OCs that they need to interact with, and each of those needs to be fleshed out in the process. I am familiar with both Song of Ice and Fire (GoT on HBO was partly an inspiration to write TPC, it got me fired up, and I’ve read into book four) and I’ve read quite a few of Harry Turtledove’s alt-history books. TPC is a bit like that, though obviously I still have much to learn and practice. Every fanfic I write is different in theme, and I’ve never written a fic quite so ambitious as TPC when it comes to the many, many sub-arcs.
What I can say in conclusion is this: we are at the high water mark. Save maybe one or two twists along the way, everything starts to resolve from here on out, and collapse together. I can even lay it out:
Euporie’s party > Art Festival Madness > Calm Before > Canterlot
Not chapter names, obviously, but the last four steps in the story before the end. It’ll probably be a half dozen chapters or more, given how I write. I don’t want to try the patience or fray the nerves of my readers. All I can do is promise I’ll do my best to wrap things up like I planned to.
Thanks again for everyone commenting.
I'll make another post to respond to those later today after I relax a bit and take care of some work. You guys really keep me going, even when the story is exhausting, and I definitely wouldn't have been able to write up a chapter a week without your input and energy driving me forward!
1810335
EDIT
Well, that just makes the what this comment was about pointless. Sorry about that but I was still writing when you posted yours and didn't notice til afterwards.
Also, interesting to see Sand Dune coming into the game so late. Even more interesting to hear that the story actually revolves around the crown start to finish.
Hmmm... curiouser and curiouser.
1810202
I suppose that kills the argument then. Still, I had fun sparring with you. Hope it was mutual.
Daaaaaamn...I did not see that coming but holy buck. Holy bucking buck. That said, still don't trust brass. Nope nope nope. Noway a guy as clever as that would have only one plan, he's gotta have multiple strings in his hooves. he's like a spider in a web. He also nicely glossed over who Olive BRanch truly was, is she honestly just some sort of changeling fitting the role and fake dying?
As well for somepony who was apparently drained of love and passion he certainly pretends quite well. Hmm, curiouser and curiouser.
1810335
It is a relief to hear that resolutions are at last on the way. It frustrates me how long and convuluted this set-up was, but perhaps this payoff will warm me. My feelings just came to a boil with another complicated layer added to this with nothing else being resolved to meet it. But if that is truly the last piece- well I remain eager as always.
I can get that you reach a point in a subplot where you can stop, but even at a stopping point, I think there is goodness to continuing to try and weave that plot into the story and continue make it feel impactful, or that it could be impactful, to what's happening elsewhere, even if no new information is given to that subplot.
I mentioned Spike mostly as an arc I actually saw as done really well in structure (perhaps not in content, but then I'm not really a big fan of Spike in general). Mostly self contained, and resolved before moving on to other things, even if his leave of abscence feels somewhat awkwardly long at this point.
1810345
1. Chapter Zero, though I adore it, is a strange thing that is sectioned off for good reason. Despite Brass seeming to be working in shadows, his impact on the Antimony arc- as Antimony seems to work against him and was not under his influence- still feels minimal. Seeds being planted for Brass's play is not quite the same as Brass being fully involved in the central plot (at the time, Rarity vs Antimony). It would not have been difficult to control Ritter perhaps, but Brass doesn't- Ritter's play is written as coming about because Rarity beat Antimony, something that Brass had no real control over.
2. The trouble with stowing them in the closet, though, it that it weakens their character and makes their prescence feel less impactful of the story. Even if another appearance could not add much, and we still feel the tremors of their actions, not actually seeing them continue to act makes it feel like their story is being pushed aside. There is something to be said for a physical prescence to punctuate that the problem is still ongoing, and still matters, even it it is not adding any new aspects or information to the problem- and it does it in a way that I think has merits and importance over trying to show this by the tremors still being felt by their actions.
3. Ritter is portrayed as an extremely chaotic character, who doesn't even know her own motivations. There has not been a clear connection maintained between Brass and Ritter, and even if Capn intended what you say to be the case, I feel the execution was poor, and would have been better served by underlining that connection more strongly, in this later parts of the story. Even then, Ritter's actions seem confused even to herself- she clearly has a love for the Wonderbolts, and her duel with Rainbow Dash felt very spur of the moment- I don't think Brass seriously could have predicted that she would duel Rainbow without causing more harm to Twilight or Rarity first, nor predicted how long she would remain on the loose (artifically extended by Fluttershy's intervention that seemed an unpredictable circumstance, as well as Spitfire not wanting to confront Ritter at first- an emotional choice, but how easy could it have tipped in the other direction where Spitfire would have wanted to go after Ritter just because they were partners, and she wanted to deal with Ritter hself?). Ritter's story and character feels too chaotic and fueled by emotions and spurt-of-the-minute actions of MULTIPLE ponies to have seriously been plotted out carefully by Brass.
4. Perhaps make Lyra's abscence in Ponyville a bit more noticeable and meaningful- nobody even acknowledges it, or seems to care that she's gone, and it thus seems inconsequential. Play more around the idea of the torc, giving more kernels of information about it or making it more pertinent to other subplots, such as that of Twilight's. It's hard to describe more without knowing the ultimate ends of the torc, but some ideas to make her feel more apart of the other plots going on.
5. Europe has not been connected to planning to use changelings, nor have her parties (which seem plentiful) been connected heavily to the fueling of changlings, as far as I can see. If that is what Capn is going for, or will eventually go for, I feel like stronger suggestions or hints could have been used to spell that out more clearly, and make that subplot seem more important to the other plots than it has up till now.
6. I edited that out, or tried to, because I realized it was a poor point. There's an ultimate importance to the elements of harmony here, it is true.
1810584
Umm, you may want to check my edit after I saw Capn's comment.
I suppose if you really want to keep at it I could reply, but I thought the author comment capped it pretty well.
I won't deny that what we had together was special, but nothing lasts forever.
1810642
Well you didn't have to edit it, but that's alright.
Nah, I should really be focusing on studying for an exam rather than on argument abouy pony fanfiction (my own fault).
No hard feelings of course. I love a good argument and I love critical discussion- they are far too underrated in today's society, as people get too offended or fearful of disagreement. It is through arguments that the best thinking and learning is produced. The world would be boring without the chaos that arguments bring now and again. -Insert Discord emoticon here-
Let us reconvene perhaps when all is finally made clear.
1807577
You just summed up politics pretty well. I for one love Alpha brass as a character.
-Minty
1810335
Right, anything this intricate has obviously been planned out in advance. And your adaptive addendums to the ongoing canon only furthers your prowess as a creative writer.
You have my approval with these ever turning cogs.
Excellent job, sir! By making this simple reveal you have changed things drastically.
Now we are not sure one way or the other about where Brass stands. Is he good? Or is he playing another layer up? A a double- or triple-agent?
Further, by making him likable, the audience can in fact see a future of him and Twilight, which further confuses the issue.
Bravo, sir. Bravo.
May your Muse be ever with you.
The plot thickens and thickens, and I love it. I have to wonder if this is Alpha Brass's true motivation, or a fake one? Hmm, time will tell. I personally like all the pieces on the board moving, and I await to see what happens when all the plots crash into one another.
Holy everlasting fuckballs. If it turns out that alpha brass is "good" ( or at least helpful) i will squee a thousand squees of happiness... i dont think i have ever fallen in love with a fictional characther so fast and so hard like ever ( and im a straight male ! ) if he is in fact evil .... well he personifies the affably evil trope and he will remain the most hypnotically likeable and charismatic bad guy i have encountered since Col Hans Landa.
Capn Chryssalid you glorious motherfucker.. this thing is amazing.... 1,000+ pages of convoluted pony politics and i have been thoroughly engrossed and at the edge of my seat every step of the way. Words cannot convey the awe, admiration, and yes envy , that i feel towards your talent.