There are only three real monsters: Dracula, Blackula, and Son of Kong.
During rainy days, a young colt skips class to go write in the park. On one particular morning, he happens to meet a kindred spirit, though she's quite a bit older than him. But the rainy season in Canterlot is almost over, and he's worried that when the rain leaves... she will too.
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Written for a Writeoff Association writeoff awhile back (somehow managed to snag second place), and only just posted now because I kind of forgot about it. I was considering editing it, but frankly I don't care enough to, and I'm decently happy with how it is now, so fuck it.
4234971
hey now, put some protection on first!
This fic is beautiful. I want to see more stuff like this, Alex. >:I
It's here?!
Yessssss.
This story just speaks to me. Man did the guy got it hard and bit him in the ass
Very sweet, and well done.
Couple typos: When I got there, my heat sank into my chest immediately. - heart
I felt my stomach turnover - I think turn over needs to be two words. Could be a canadian thing though.
Nicely done. Your first person felt very natural, something I don't see often on this site. Thanks for posting.
Beautiful.
Definitely one of the better stories on the site, and, I think, the only one that has made me feel this calm while reading it.
There is, however, one peeve I have with this story - and that's the ending. Everything up until their final meeting seems real, speaks to the soul (cheese alert! cheese alert!), and just feels right, but their final meeting feels off, somehow. It's not that I'm disappointed that she didn't reciprocate his feelings, but it's more like his entire "I hate you instead!" thing feels out of place.
It's really difficult to explain just what it is, as it's more the way the story feels than what's written that makes me frown. I guess the best way to explain it is that I don't feel like it's up to par with the rest of the story.
Aside from that... a good nice read and I'm sad that it isn't more widely known.
4267217
Fair complaints, but if I could explain myself a bit, perhaps you'll see why I did it that way.
The whole time, the kid thinks he knows what he's doing. He thinks he's in love with this mare he just met, and he thinks he was supposed to meet her. He even thinks skipping school is the right thing to do, but he was wrong all along, about everything. So the ending is him realizing how little he understands, but he's still a kid, and so when he's upset that she's leaving him he jumps to the opposite end of the love/hate spectrum, even though he doesn't really mean it. It was just another emotion he didn't fully understand. It maybe wasn't the best way to show that, but I still stand by the ending.
4269037
I realise all that, and I didn't expect anything else but a "broken-heart" ish ending. As I wrote, it's not what happens that makes me lift an eyebrow, it's more the feeling of it. Please don't take this as an insult, but it felt like you rushed the ending, as if you didn't put quite as much effort into it as you did the rest of the story.
The entire thing about him suddenly jumping to "hating" her isn't my complaint. nor the fact that it isn't a happy ending.
It may just be that it was the change in what was happening that changed the feeling of the story. All I know is that I didn't like the ending quite as much as the rest of the story.
Regardless, great work