Zach had always swore that he would never let his friends be attacked, even if it cost him his own life. Well, the day came where he had to prove his word, when a small group of thugs stop them and try to rob them, he disobeys and fights them. Luckily, his friends made it out safely, but he lost his life in the battle, he was not mad though, he was happy that his friends get to live to see another day.
Now he was going to the afterlife... or so he thought. Turns out, he was headed to a much different place, a place that should not have existed, well, he thought it did not exist anyway.
VERY special thanks to jjamess10 for the cover!
Chapters (11)
4252954
I sell propane and propane accessories. That's all i have to say.
I wonder what ells he can do maybe some thing from dead space? skyrim? halo? or perhaps something from portal 2?
Ok, two things:
1. What is 'Umarekawari" even supposed to mean
and
2.
Because there's no other location where he could've possibly woken up
4545167
Umarekawari means revival or rebirth in Japanese. As for him waking up in the forest, I just found it fitting.
4545727
I found myself...playing ff 10 music in my head as I read the fighting scene... http://youtu.be/C34BzC7rnos
Btw nice job.
[youtube=http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4A3c2RKTJ4I&feature=kp] I thought of this while the fight was going on.
I love this story!
You earned yourself a like, read later, and a comment!
4671923
4672304
Thanks!
4672515 no prob
Enjoyed the new chapter
4713392
I'm glad you did.
MOAR PLEASE!
4778124
Soon my friend.... soon.
Why doesn't this have more likes?
4778466 I have a friend?!
4779540
Sure, why not?
4782135 I'm so happy
Aright, first few paragraphs and I've already spotted one of my biggest pet peeves.
They aren't conjugating anything!
People don't speak like that!
ie : it seems you are stuck
Should be
It seems you're stuck
In short, instead of 'you are', say 'you're'.
Instead of 'I am' say 'I'm'
If you don't follow the simple rules of casual speech conjugation, it makes your dialogue seem REALLY awkward. And not in a socially awkward way, just an awkward speech pattern.
Also see some examples of 'show don't tell' from authors like Legionary or... Well, some other popular action authors. I found the action scenes in Oskar Osäker: true omnivore and Emerald Gleaner: Viral Unicorn (two of my favorite fics ever) to be really good references for action scenes. Don't just say that he did something and where it happened, tell the effects that it had on both the attacker and the receiver, and describe what they did to recover, or not recover from the hit.
4811985
My apologies, I know what you mean. You have a very good point, when I'm writing, I notice I tend to do that. I have this little mindset that's like, "Okay, I'm writing, so no conjectures (which is true in some cases), but people are talking so yes conjectures." So I use conjectures, but not all the time, such as in normal, everyday talk.
I just thought no one would really mind that, but now I see some do. I'll be going through and correcting them. Thank you.
EDIT:
Also, I'll do my best with that last part you said, 'don't say what he did, tell the affects' I'll keep that in mind for future chapters/stories. Again, thanks.
Sorry to be that guy, buuut, search this page for "Rm"
It is supposed to be arm.
Again sorry, gj btw.
4931456
Don't be afraid to be that guy, I appreciate it when people point out misspellings in my story. (I don't have an editor.)
But since I'm using an IPad, I can't seem to find the misspelled word. Any help where it is maybe?
4932357
Well here ya go
"X-Valor quickly swung it's it Rm to the left, nailing Zach again. The white alicorn slammed into the ground, creating a trail as he smashed through it.
"Oh... that's going to be another trip to the hospital."
4936043
Thank you!
What does Umarekawari mean?
Aww, he couldn't stay...
4939300
Umarekawari means rebirth in Japanese.
4939430
Yeah... but the question is, was it even real in the first place?
4939568
I doubt his body would just make him go through pain while he was shot......and the 3 princesses were conversing after...
4939579
Darn it, I didn't trick you.
4939595
I'm smarter than I look.
4939599
I can see that. Well, look on the bright side, he can at least see his friends back on earth again.
4939603
True, but now he has 3 kind people mourning over him, not like whatever force brought him there could bring his friends...
4939613
Yeah, that's one of the downsides. But remember he hasn't discovered all of his powers. *hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge*
4939633
So....there will be a s-s-s-sequal?
And did he even want to stay? Because if I went, I wouldn't want to come back.
4939641
There will indeed be a sequel. And as for him wanting to go back or not, he wanted to go back just to be with his friends again, but he also wanted to stay, to protect his new found friends, as he had found that his purpose in Equestria. So yeah, he wanted to go, but at the same time, he didn't want to go.
4939670 Next time tell us your making a sequel you tease now I've got to follow you so I know when it comes out
4948903
I tend to give hints to when a sequel will be due. Thanks for the follow by the way! All I can say is about the sequels, is that it may be a while. Not that I don't know what to write, but I'm holding off on this for now, and will be working on my two current stories.
Okay, THAT was AWESOME!
I'll say!
Maybe in Equestrian measurements, but what about our measures?
[youtube=http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=xrQ1QnNevPw]
FATALITY!
Wow! I mean... WOW!
This was possibly the most awesome fanfic that i have EVER read!
It had some comedy, some sad points, and the action scenes were a pure delight to the imagination. If you can write stories like this, you're gonna go far!
5 points (and
) on the 
itude meter! I hope your future stories are just as good!
5141952
Thank you! I'm sure you'll be looking forward to the sequel that may or may not be coming out soon.
You restored the faith you lost last chapter because I thought you where going to tell Twilight that he was human... keep up the good work
Why was the attack on Titan opening in my head since the umbralings appeared
IKR
I'm surprised no ones reacted to his wounds. He also would look a little disheveled since he was thrown around.
4381197
The cake is a lie.