Chapter Two
- - -
(2)
- - -
"You'll be seeing Rain Booms!
Ooo-ooo-oooh!
Equestria Girls, we're kinda magical!
Boots on hooves, bikinis on top!"
Blueblood let the radio play.
He didn't bother with breakfast, either.
- - -
Ponyville.
"What do you mean, you don't have the Elements of Harmony?"
The Mayor was probably regretting submitting to his requests.
She cringed away as Blueblood thundered, stamping a hoof against the edge of his chariot hard enough to crack a wheel. It didn't help that the noblepony's ire was solely directed at the six mares in front of him, and not the crowd of gawking – and growing – onlookers. Even that cross-eyed pegasus was staring.
"You six ARE the gods damned Elements of Harmony!" he yelled, "What? Did you lose yourselves?" He stomped again, utterly enraged. "Sell your souls maybe?!"
It hadn't taken much to determine the locations and identities of the six mares. Of course, that unicorn had been one of them. Of-freaking-course. Still, it shouldn't have mattered. A quick ride down to Ponyville, a communiqué to the guards about royal decrees, and he had assembled the six fillies in the town square. He couldn't care less what else the ponies of this Podunk village saw or thought. It was time to get this over with.
It was time for these six mares to do their blasted job and FIX things!
"Prince Blueblood." Twilight – the egghead of the bunch – was the first to recover her voice. She stood next to a cowering golden pegasus who looked ready to bolt in fright. "Princess Celestia has the Elements now. We can't use them without her giving them to us."
"No. No. No. No! NO!" he corrected her, pointing accusingly with a shaking hoof. "Do not tell me that. Do not tell me you don't have the bloody Elements. I need YOU –" He pointed at each of them in turn. "– To. BLAST. ME!"
The six mares all exchanged looks of worry.
"Hit me with a rainbow! Bombard me with sparkles!" He all but pounded his hoof into his chest. "Drown me in light! Use the magic of Friendship! Do something!"
The pink one wound her hoof around and crossed her eyes comically. "And ponies call ME crazy!"
Blueblood screamed.
- - -
"Auntie. Out of curiosity, do you have the Elements of Harmony?"
- - -
"Auntie. I've heard from your student, Twilight Sparkle, that you've sequestered the Elements of Harmony somewhere safe? I don't suppose you could –"
- - -
"It has come to my attention recently that –"
- - -
"Auntie, if I could just –"
- - -
"Princess Celestia, Auntie, please – !"
- - -
"At the Gala. At the Gala.
"At the Gala, in the garden. I'm going to see them all. All the creatures. I'll befriend them at the Gala.
"At the Gala. All the birdies and the critters. They will love me, big and small. We'll become good friends forever. Right here at the Gala.
"All our dreams will come true. Right here at the Gala. At the Gala.
"At the Gala. It's amazing. I will sell them. That you heard of. All my appletastic treats. Yummy, yummy. Hungry ponies. Give us samples. They will buy them. We will buy them. Caramel apples, apple sweets. Gimme some."
Blueblood mouthed the lyrics to the absurd musical number. He knew it by heart at this point.
He didn't even bother with the Gala itself anymore. Sometimes he stayed and watched as one or two or any number of things went wrong. It never changed. Nothing ever changed. It was boring at best, torture at worst. So more often than not, he left.
Sometimes he wandered.
Sometimes he studied and experimented on himself.
Sometimes he got lost.
Sometimes he just drank himself into a stupor.
"Into the Gala, meet new friends. Into the Gala, sell some apples. Into the Gala, find my prince. Prove I'm as great as a Wonderbolt. To meet. To sell. To find. To prove. To woo. To talk."
Doomed.
They were all doomed. Even if one of them got what they wanted, the others wouldn't.
"Into the Gala. Into the Gala. And we'll have the best night ever." He repeated, even though he could barely hear the words of the ponies below. "At the Gala."
Prince Blueblood took a deep breath, exhaled, and tossed himself off the highest tower in Canterlot.
- - -
"You'll be seeing Rain Booms!
Ooo-ooo-oooh!
Equestria Girls, we're kinda magical!
Boots on hooves, bikinis on top!"
The radio died as Blueblood swatted it off his dresser, tearing out the power cord.
- - -
"You'll be seeing Rain Booms!
Ooo-ooo-oooh!
Equestria Girls, we're kinda –"
A heavy hoof descended, smashing the accursed contraption with a squeal.
- - -
"You'll be seeing Rain Booms!
Ooo-ooo-oooh!"
"RAAAGH!"
A magical glow wrapped around the radio, crushing it into a ball of crumpled metal and splintering wood.
- - -
"Blueblood!" Celestia roared, absolutely livid. "What do you think you're doing?! What have you done?!"
It all felt so surreal.
Canterlot Palace was burning.
It didn't matter how angry Auntie was. It was amazing, really. The looks on everypony's faces.
The Royal Guards were staring, slack jawed and dumbstruck, at the evil purple and green fire as it merrily danced from tower to tower, spire to spire, consuming everything. Pegasi were in the air, circling like frantic buzzards – no, more like buzzing flies – trying feverishly to use clouds and rain to put out the blaze. As if he hadn't planned for that. As if he didn't know the flight patterns of every one, like he knew the patrol routes of the guards, like he knew the weak spots of the castle.
Canterlot was burning, and no pony could save it.
A thousand years and more. Ash. All to Ash.
Blueblood laughed, standing amid the flames. A circle of magic kept him safe, for a time. It didn't matter. Just long enough for him to be sure. He had to be sure. Absolutely sure. He needed to see the Gala end with his own eyes.
"No more Galas!" he roared over the magical dragon flames and enchanted fire. "This was the only way to be sure! No more! Never again!"
"Gods and stars, Nephew!" Celestia took to the air, tried to reach for him with her magic –
Blueblood already felt the green fire, dancing up his legs – so warm!
She was too late.
The foalish guests who had arrived early could only watch, stunned, dumbstruck as the Light that was Canterlot became a demonic bonfire. The incantations and forbidden scrolls spoke of a fire that would burn for eleven days and eleven nights; that could be extinguished by neither water nor wind nor mortal magic. All it required as a reagent was the body and soul of a single pony.
It was the Gala. It had to be the Gala.
No. More.
No. More. Galas.
- - -
"You'll be seeing Rain Booms!
Ooo-ooo-oooh!
Equestria Girls, we're kinda magical!
Boots on hooves, bikinis on top!"
Alive.
Still alive.
Always alive.
- - -
"You'll be seeing Rain Booms!
Ooo-ooo-oooh!
Equestria Girls, we're kinda magical!
Boots on hooves, bikinis on top!"
Prince Blueblood, Prince of the Realm, Grand Veneur, et cetera et cetera...
Blueblood sat, stiff and silent, as Light Touch and Sandy got him ready for breakfast. He thought briefly about asking one of them to draw the water for the tub again. It was one of the quicker ways to end his day. There was an expensive hair dryer at hoof that did the job very well. Of course, all it would have done would be to send him back to where he was a few minutes ago.
It wasn't a permanent solution.
As if sensing his strange mood, Light Touch peeked from behind the mirror she held up for him. "Prince Blueblood?"
"Yes. Yes." He slowly snapped out of the stupor. Sometimes it was easier just to wait out that day, to jump through the hoops, rather than restart from the beginning. Again. "This is fine. Thank you, Light Touch."
"Um. Thank you, sir." The chamber maid bowed, surprised as always to be complimented on her work. Or even addressed.
"There isn't anything I could ever say just to put you at ease, is there?" he asked, knowing the answer already.
"I am at ease, my Lord," Light Touch lied, and bowed more deeply. Sandy, as always, did the same. "We both are."
Blueblood nodded. There was nothing more to say.
Today was another damned day.
- - -
Arriving at the table, Blueblood saw the same scene as always. Celestia was calmly eating her oats and apples – a dish he had genuinely tried, and decided he didn't care for – while Luna was finishing her dinner and sipping from her wine glass. Proper Place was occupying a place of honor next to the empty chair where Blueblood traditionally sat. As ordained, he took his place, a ticking gear in a broken clock.
Tea, milk, ginger.
He finished and left early.
- - -
Luna walked the same route as always, back to her private chamber.
The night had went well, which was to say, it had come and gone without complaint. She followed the schedule she had posted in advance so no pony was surprised by either the state of the moon or the brightness or darkness of the night sky. Everything went well, following the greater scheme. The old routine also began to bring back her powers, nullified as they had briefly been by the Elements of Harmony. Her stature had improved, and her hair was beginning to return to it's ethereal state.
There was neither anything to bemoan nor anything to be excited about. It was a nice medium; a pleasant middle ground. It worked. She could live with it. She wasn't unhappy, and she had her sister again. It was... nice.
Her guards stiffened at her sides, pausing.
Luna looked up to see what the matter was. The answer was curious: it was Blueblood. Was he lost? He was standing in the middle of the hall, blocking the way. She'd noticed a marked change in his bearing this morning. Normally he was almost insufferably haughty and aloof, even for her tastes. He would have fit in well with the nobles a thousand years ago. Now, he looked... weary.
"Auntie Luna," he said, using the improper affection Celestia had no doubt taught him.
"What... what is it like?" he asked, looking at her with desperate eyes. "To be immortal?"
Luna blinked, finding the question both odd and unexpected.
"Why are you asking us that?"
"I guess, the bigger question is," Blueblood continued, "when you're destined to live forever, what do you do with your life? Besides what you have to? How do you live with it?"
Luna considered the question, and how to reply. She opened her mouth –
"One simply does," he guessed. "That's what you were about to say, isn't it?"
The Princess of the Moon raised a hoof to her chin.
"It... was, yes," she answered, and explained a bit more, feeling the impulse to at least provide some new insight, however enigmatic. "Immortality is something you endure. It is a blessing in some ways, but a curse in others."
What Blueblood said next, Luna did not expect to ever hear.
"I think I'm immortal." He stated it with a measure of despair. "Not like you or Auntie Celestia," he quickly elaborated. "A different immortal. Every day... every day is the same for me. I can't die. I can't stop it. Isn't that what it means to be immortal? Is this what it's like?"
Luna's expression darkened, expecting a joke of some kind. A poor one.
One of her guards was less reserved. He snorted dismissively at the statement, nostrils flaring.
"You think it's funny, don't you?" Blueblood asked, not with malice. He simply sounded detached, despite the insult. "I guess it is kind of funny. Who would believe a crazy story like that?"
The Prince sighed and shook his head.
"Not like believing you saw a hippocamp when you were six, and refusing to go into the water or even take a bath for the next ten years."
The guard stiffened, and very quietly laughed. "I don't know what you’re talking about, Lord Prince. Sea Ponies..." He couldn't suppress a traumatic, visceral shudder. "They're not real. Just... old mare's tales. They're not real."
"Wrath, I'm guessing you didn't hear that one about your partner?" Blueblood asked the other guard, tilting his head to the side in faux curiosity. "Well, you've only been teamed up for a month and five days, and you didn't even talk to one another until two days after that. Not to mention that you didn't get along very well with your last partner in the Royal Guard. The one who didn't want to work with you because he found out you liked stallions as well as mares?"
The guard to Luna's left actually trotted back a step in shock.
"What?" he growled. "H-how do you...? How could you...?"
"You don't need to worry," the Prince assured him with a hollow, emotionless grin. "Despite his phobia of aquatic ponies, Fury here's already heard the rumors and decided they don't matter."
Blueblood then added, for good measure: "Isn't that nice? Goodwill among Auntie Luna's bodyguards. Oh, and a pair of strong wings to pull that bat-themed chariot the Princess is trying to build in secret. The one she has in her cave beneath Canterlot? Isn't that a bit tacky, Auntie?"
Luna was gaping now, but quickly comported herself.
"How... do you know about that?" she asked, not letting her regal veil slip, despite the near gaffe. "Even Celestia doesn't know... so... how?"
"I've had time to learn a lot of things," the Prince replied. "Boredom will do that to a pony. Once he gets tired of thinking up new ways to kill himself."
"Or perhaps," Luna reasoned, "you're using some sort of spell to read minds?"
"On those two?" He pointed at the pair of guards. "Maybe. On you, Auntie? Do you really think I could?" He tapped the front edge of his hoof on the floor, the equivalent of a finger-snap. "Oh, but I forgot. You don't like being called 'Auntie.' You could just have said so, you know. I'd have stopped."
Silence reigned after that, as Luna tried to rationalize her great-great-great nephew, whom she had hardly spoken to in months, whose family she hardly knew, knowing a private pet peeve she hadn't shared with anyone. Even Celestia didn't know. At her sides, the two Royal Guards looked to each other, and then to her, for orders. Or at least an explanation.
"I could go on, if you need more convincing," Blueblood promised. "I know almost everyone in the palace by this point."
"How much," Luna finally said. "How much do you know about us?"
Meaning the 'royal us.'
Blueblood dipped his head in respect.
"Not that much," he readily admitted. "You don't like to talk about your past. The easiest way to get information out of you is to rile you up and make you angry. Or indignant."
"Then why?" the Princess inquired. "Why approach us now with this? Why not Celestia?"
"What makes you think I haven't tried?" He answered her question with one of his own. "Besides, I've seen how my Auntie deals with her immortal life. I don't think I can live like that. I don't... I don't even want to be like this. I think you're the only one who can keep me from going completely insane. Please."
"Please," he asked again, and lowered onto his hooves, his head and horn brushing the floor. "Please believe me."
He remained there, bowing more deeply than Luna remembered seeing a pony bow. Not since a thousand years ago.
"Guards," she said, and then raised her voice, more authoritatively. "Leave us. We would have words with our... nephew." Seeing the pair tense, she added the caveat, "And tell no one of what you have heard here. Understood?"
"Yes, Princess!" her two guards replied in stereo.
The hastened to leave, and only the pair of Royals remained.
"We..." Luna corrected herself. "I... am listening."
- - -
They ended up at the Royal Observatory.
This, it turned out, was where Luna spent every Gala night. Blueblood hadn't even been to this part of the palace in years. The once bare walls were covered in diagrams of the various malleable stellar phenomenon, most prominently a nebula that Luna was planning to move over the new few months to free up some bright but normally obscured stars. There were paintings of the moon next to hoof-sketched layouts of the moon, made by Luna herself. With her 'face' gone from the night sky, the full moon was too bare for her liking. She intended to phase in new 'mares' or dark seas as a replacement over the next ten years.
Blueblood recognized the passion and artistic obsession in the many layouts and prints, many marked with tiny, fine notes on the margins and lines and arrows and corrections and redactions and re-corrections. His dark aunt was like an artist with an ever changing palette, and she had repurposed the old Observatory as her atelier.
He even suggested using the term, an idea that drew polite chuckles.
"Atelier?" she asked. "Is that not a bit pretentious?"
"Normally it would be," he agreed. "But in this case, I think it fits."
Outside, fireworks exploded as the Gala roared into full swing. That musical number from every Gala opening could be just barely heard through the intervening distance and open windows. It had driven Blueblood nearly to madness before, but for the first time in a long time, he felt almost at ease. He smirked as his dart landed soundly in the center of the crudely drawn target circle.
"How doest thou manage that?" Luna grumbled, her old Equinese slipping in as she grew frustrated.
Her royal highness glared balefully at the feathered dart resting in the cup of her bare hoof. Green eyes fixated on the concentric circles, and foregoing magic – that would be cheating! – Luna huffed as she threw. The dart overshot, hitting the outermost edge of the cardboard bullseye.
"Blast!"
"Now, now, you aren't throwing a rock," he reminded the Princess of the Night. "Visualize it and make an easy, flowing movement."
Blueblood picked up another blue feathered dart, and flicked it. Not even very quickly, it seemed to leisurely drift through the air to land on target, right next to one of its fellows, smack dab in the center. Luna glowered playfully, and tried again, with much less force.
It took a little while, but finally she got one near-center.
"Huzzah!" She threw up her hooves in triumph. "Tis not so difficult!"
Blueblood just sat on his haunches and laughed with her. "You'll get the hang of it, eventually."
"This is a... pegasi game, is it?" Luna asked, sticking out her tongue as she concentrated on repeating her feat.
"It's a common game among the low classes. I just learned it from two pegasi."
"That would be the two Wonderbolts?"
"Soarin’ and Spitfire," he confirmed, providing the names. "Sometimes I sneak them out of the Gala to have fun in town. It took a lot of practice before I got as good at it as they are." His shoulders trembled as he chuckled. "I also learned how to mix my own drinks. Let me tell you, that one skill has come in handy."
"The proud Prince of Equestria, mixing drinks and slumming with commoners," Luna remarked, amused by the image.
Her next throw was close, but a little off target.
"...But we are curious." Despite relaxing a great deal, she continued to use the imperial plural. "Do you ever tell them who you are?"
"Are you suggesting our subjects would not recognize us?" Blueblood declared in a grandiose voice, hoof to his chest.
Luna rolled her eyes in exasperation. "We are suggesting you could hardly stand to not have them recognize you."
"Is that so?" he inquired, chest still puffed out in regal indignation.
"You possess an ego the size of Everfree itself, and you know it."
"Well, since I am the pony who decides the borders of Everfree, there is some truth to that," Blueblood joked, but answered his aunt's question. "When I go out with Spitfire and Soarin’, I usually try not to draw attention to myself. But... sometimes... it is cathartic to make a scene."
"Is it...?" Luna hesitated to ask, momentarily glancing towards one of the windows and the Gala beyond. "Is it amusing to be among the common folk? So very much has changed in a thousand years... the classes commingle more than I ever believed possible.
"Before today," she said with some embarrassment, "I never would have imagined you, of all ponies, to partake of such activities."
"I never would have, before," Blueblood admitted, picking up another dart and examining the needle-tip. "Not only didn't I have any interest in such things... it would have been improper to do so. I have spent my entire life cultivating my image. As Blueblood."
He touched the sharpened tip to his other hoof, just enough to pinch the skin a little, but not draw blood.
"Equestria's most handsome stallion. Canterlot's most eligible bachelor. Most untouchable and unassailable noblepony."
He threw the dart with long practiced ease, wedging it between three others of the same color.
"I never really thought I'd accomplish anything, and I never felt like trying. Looking good was enough. When the time came to retire, I'd arrange a marriage with some attractive younger mare and just fade away. Like every Blueblood does. I'm just number fifty-two... unless the royal genealogists somehow slipped up somewhere. Not even a memorable number, like fifty, or sixty. Fifty-two.
"But now, none of that really matters." He said it with a wan, weak smile. "Tomorrow, you'll forget we talked until you fell asleep, and played darts at night after you woke up. You'll look at me over the breakfast table, and wonder quietly how you could be even remotely related to me."
"Nephew..." she began to protest, placing a hoof on his front leg.
"It's alright," he assured her. "That's just how things are. I said earlier that maybe I was immortal, but maybe the truth is that I'm not even here? When you can't live and you can't die, and nothing you do changes anything around you, can you really say that you exist? I used to laugh at funny questions like that when I was a foal."
Blueblood tossed the next dart. Bullseye. "I don't know anymore."
He had just finished when, taken aback, he felt her pull him into a familial hug. Luna was not Celestia's size, not yet anyway, and he was large even for a stallion so they generally stood shoulder to shoulder. It had been a long time since Celestia or his mother had held him, and he reflexively tensed at the front legs around him. Luna herself didn't seem entirely comfortable with familiar contact, and soon let him go, looking away in growing abashment.
She still had some issues of her own regarding 'family.' He could sympathize.
"We don't know..." she began, haltingly. "Maybe our advice isn't the best. This was why we didn't want to give it before."
She smoothed back some of her mane and nodded to herself.
"But," she continued anyway, "you should endure." She looked up at him. "And adapt. And grow. You do exist, nephew. My own immortality has cost me everything but what I have with me now." She gestured to herself. "And my dear sister, too, thank the heavens. The only thing we can do, as ponies, is move forward."
"Move forward?" he asked, snorting in dismissal. "How? How can you?"
"Even if it doesn't seem like it," she told him, bracing her hooves on his shoulders. "Every day is an opportunity. No matter how bleak it looks at first."
Blueblood nodded. "If you say so, Princess."
"You can call us Luna, you know." She sighed, softly. "We would like it if more ponies just called us Luna."
The Gala was a disaster. Again.
Neither the Princess of the Moon nor her estranged nephew cared. They stayed up playing inane games and pointedly not discussing the subject of immortality. The moon was full and high, and after a time Blueblood escaped the tower to track down some coffee to stay awake. Luna had suggested just getting a servant to do it, but he also took it as an excuse to stretch his legs. He returned with a steaming pot from the pantry. Luna found the taste rather foul, and said as much, but Blueblood downed as much as he could. Next time, he told her, he would bring milk and crème.
They talked about stars and moons and maps and cutie marks.
And then it was over.
- - -
"You'll be seeing Rain Booms!
Ooo-ooo-oooh!
Equestria Girls, we're kinda magical!
Boots on hooves, bikinis on top!"
Luna was gone. The Observatory was gone.
Blueblood was back in bed. His eyes opened and he lingered a few seconds longer than usual before kicking off his covers and rolling off and onto the floor. It was a new day.
A new day.
- - -
"Excuse me, but I'm a bit hard'a hearin'... ya want to do what now?"
"I would like to know about the Royal Gardens," Blueblood explained, for the second time. He leaned closer to the old goat of a gardener. "If you would, please."
His saddlebags were stocked with books from the library: a select cross-section of topics relating to the history, design and influences of the Great Gardens of Canterlot. Despite having some personal history with the Laurel Maze and being an active falconer, he had never cared much for or bothered with the actual gritty details of the lands surrounding the castle. It was time to find some opportunities. It was time to make some.
"I'm not sure how much I can tell ya that those books there won't," the groundskeeper replied, tipping his hat respectfully. He was a scruffy looking specimen himself, with a well worn, almost invisible brown cutie mark. As far back as Blueblood could recall, the old mule had tended to the gardens and the greater twenty for decades.
The Prince levitated out a guide, filled with bookmarks, and opened it to one of the pages.
"You could start by identifying which animals in this book are the most commonly seen close to the Palace. I'm also curious what would happen if some of the Gala guests tonight tried to chase or catch the animals?"
"Ooh?" The groundskeeper scratched his mane as he thought about that. "Well, that probably wouldn't be too good. So, um... I guess ya want to start with the birds?"
"That would be a good place to start," Blueblood agreed. "Let's start with the birds."
- - -
Blueblood set down his cup – tea, milk and ginger – and glanced across the table.
"Auntie," he spoke up, his tone amiable. "I was wondering how your student in Ponyville has been doing. Twilight Sparkle, if I recall. She's still sending you reports on the magic of friendship, isn't she?"
In a rare display of bewilderment, Celestia stared at her nephew.
"Yes, she is," the immortal Princess replied. "May I ask why the sudden interest?"
He offered a genuine smile. "She's obviously someone very important to you, Auntie. And, to hear you speak of her, she must be quite the filly. It's only natural I'm a bit curious. Besides," he added, "I'll probably meet her at the Gala tonight."
"You actually met her before, once." Celestia changed the topic briefly while she thought up how to really respond. "But you were both too young to remember."
"No time like the present, then."
"I suppose you're right," the Princess decided. "Very well."
- - -
The Royal Academy of Arts and Sciences was the premier institution of higher learning in all of Equestria. Located in Canterlot, adjacent to and affiliated with the Royal Conservatory and Museum, it exclusively invited only the most promising unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies to attend. In theory. In practice... family connections and deep rooted alumni organizations and fraternities ensured that quite a few less than superbly gifted ponies entered the prestigious academy. These same high society sons and daughters of nobility and industry captains conveniently graduated with a solid "B."
Prince Blueblood was one of these "solid B" graduates.
Except for the occasional charity or fundraiser, he doubted any of the learned minds at the RAAS expected to see him drop by for a visit. Certainly, none of them would have expected him to start pulling strings and cashing in favors. There weren't many universal constants in science or magic, but fortunately, one of them was bits. Funding was always in short supply somewhere. Always.
"Teleportation," the wrinkled old pony grumbled, shaking his head. "You?"
"Come now, I didn't do that badly in class," Blueblood objected.
"You blinked two hoof-lengths and threw up all over yourself!"
Professor Whitemane had a pretty sharp memory for such a crazy geezer. The wrinkled old codger had to be pushing a century or more. Somehow. Yet he was as sharp and spry as a stallion half his age. Magic could do that for a pony. Of course, rumor was that Old Whitemane dabbled in alchemy, and forbidden 'mercury flavored' cupcakes. His name had lately become quite ironic: the Professor was bald, save for the short white beard on his chin.
"You have no talent for blinking, much less long range teleportation," Whitemane continued, snorting rudely and dismissively. "That great big horn on your head may as well be a tumor for all the good it does you."
"Be that as it may." Blueblood chafed at the old goat's typical insults. Whitemane was notoriously abrasive towards all his students. He treated his apprentices even worse, or so the college rumor mill claimed.
Time to find out.
"I have been studying the subject and..."
"You? Studying?" Whitemane cut him off, and spat. Actually spat.
"Yes. Me. Studying." The Prince of Equestria grimaced at the spittle that had very nearly nicked his left hoof. "Now, I happen to be making a rather substantial grant to the Academy, but I require a learned mind to assist me..."
"In learning to teleport without soiling yourself?"
"In... that. Yes."
"What a waste of time," the aged unicorn grumbled, but rolled his eyes, at least willing to give it a try. "Very well, show me what you've supposedly learned, and I'll take a few minutes to point out how poor you are at it."
...
The Canterlot Chamber Orchestra company was really quite good.
It seemed like forever since he had actually heard them play a proper score. Never once had they managed to endure the Gala long enough to play the signature score that represented Celestia's Royal Entrance and Exit. Blueblood listened to them now while he studied, one of only three ponies in the audience. One day... one day... he would hear Entry of the Princess play in the Ménagerie Ursae.
But not yet.
He jotted down some notes for the future.
Their new cellist was rather pretty as well.
- - -
"Out of breath already? You know your father, bless his soul, managed twice that distance with half the effort. To think the royal bloodline has become so weak, I weep for Equestria. Not that we need a royal bloodline with not just one but two immortal Princesses on the throne."
Blueblood coughed hard, trying to recover from the short blink across the lecture stage.
"I can't imagine why you're wasting your time with this," Whitemane lectured, heedless of the Princes' state, pacing now and stroking his beard. "Your magical tunneling projection is the most pathetic I've seen in years. My great grandson just got his cutie mark a month ago, and he could do better. You need to tighten up your Star Field. And, for Celestia's sake, stop inhaling when you teleport. Only teleport on an exhale! Were you born this incompetent or do you work at it?"
- - -
He sucked in the fresh, morning air.
It was so different, outside, now that he knew what those smells were. It all just seemed like a mix of fragrant flowers in one patch, dirt and leaves in another. But on closer inspection, the Gardens were so much more complex than he had ever imagined. He had always known that they were the work of a mad genius – the maddeningly complex hedge labyrinth was proof of that, firsthoof – but even the seemingly simple geometric layout disguised hidden secrets, not for the uninitiated.
The entire garden, radiating outward from the three wings of the Ménagerie, was a diamond within a star within a diamond. It literally morphed in shape and color as the seasons changed: the evergreen outlines and contours becoming more distinct as deciduous trees and bushes shed their leaves. It was a living mural the likes of which dwarfed any of the grand tapestries, vestments or statues on display inside.
Intricate.
Marvelous.
Laudable.
A fitting monument.
Blueblood hardly minded the looks of surprise on passing faces as he worked, cutting away bits of shrubbery, manipulating three different sizes of shears in midair. For some odd reason, a tune he couldn't quite remember the words for hovered in the back of his mind, compelling him to hum to himself as he worked. Ah, or maybe it was just an addictive tune he had picked up from Green Thumb?
"Green Thumb!" He spied the groundskeeper happily sweeping away a few leaves. He loudly hummed the tune. "Do you know a song with that cadence?"
"Yeah, yeah, Ah think Ah know that one." The old coot was always quick to fall back on casual talk, day after day, a trait the Prince found himself growing appreciative of. He leaned heavily on his rake. "Art of the... Art of the something."
"I find it annoyingly catchy."
"Yep."
- - -
The Royal Librarian sat up straight in shock.
"Prince Blueblood!" she stammered. "What are you... I mean, how can I help...?"
"Don't worry about it, Thistle." He trotted by her to check out more books, levitating a dozen colored bookmarks from a cup on his way past. "I know what I'm here for. Yes, everything's fine. No, this is just a private matter. Yes, I'll keep quiet. No, I won't be needing to make any copies. Also, can you have someone refill the coffee machine around ten o'clock?"
The charcoal gray mare blinked. A few times.
"Oh, and have them bring out fresh milk and crème, while they're at it. The stock in the backroom has spoiled." He waved back at her as he went about his business. "Ta!"
"Um..." She scratched behind her ear. "Yes... sir?"
- - -
"Oh ho? Since when could you project through walls?" Whitemane almost – almost – sounded impressed.
Blueblood grinned as he looked up at the old master. "I... did say I've been stud –"
"Don't go clopping yourself off already, colt," the grizzled Professor snapped, cutting him off. "Your distance is still subpar. And could you possibly bleed off more magic when you use that oversized pig-sticker on your forehead? What, do you think you're made of magic? Sloppy. Sloppy! And wasteful!"
He groaned painfully.
"Oh sweet Celestia, you're making me wish I'd retired! Again, colt!" Whitemane stomped a withered old hoof. "And do it without making my teeth ache. Are you trying to teleport yourself or blow up the room as you leave?"
- - -
Blueblood hummed happily to himself as he finished his tea (milk, ginger).
"My goodness, nephew," Celestia remarked, after observing his curiously good mood for a few discreet minutes. "You do seem quite chipper this morning."
He offered her a mysterious smile.
"I've been waiting for today," he replied. "For quite some time now."
"For the Gala, you mean?" Proper Place guessed.
"Yes. The Gala." Blueblood clopped his hoof on the table gently. "That reminds me. I'd like to extend two invitations to Stylus, there –" He pointed to the Chamberlain's aide, the Keeper of Seals. "He's thinking of proposing to his fiancé, and the Gala is as good a time as any. Just do it before eleven o'clock."
The normally silent aide opened his mouth, but couldn't think of what to say.
"Yes, I know you two don't have anything to wear," Blueblood continued. "I've already sent one of my servants along to find you both something appropriate."
Stylus stammered. "Sir... h-how...?"
"Long story. No time." Blueblood dabbed his lips with his napkin and pushed away from the table. "If you'll excuse me, everypony, I've got a busy day."
- - -
Ponyville.
Finally.
Now, at last, for the hard parts.
- - -
Blueblood started with what should have been the easiest of the six. Softly humming the silly little tune these same mares would sing later tonight before the castle gates, the time-looped Prince plotted out just what he had to do. Come hell, high water, or Celestial menopause he would make at least one Gala work. For peace of mind if nothing else, he had to try.
This meant – he was sure of it – dealing with the six Elements of Harmony.
Miss Rarity would theoretically be the easiest. According to the information he'd gathered, she had gone to the Gala specifically to find him and to fall in love. In the first run through, and quite a few more, he had rather decisively smashed her expectations of the night by being his usual self.
Darkly, Blueblood still considered some of the stunts he pulled back then kind of amusing. Rarity was a beautiful mare, and supposedly very generous – according to that Wonderbolt crazy pegasus, the friendship letters he had read, and the others who knew her – but she also rather reminded him of his mother and the usual coterie of mares he had to associate with in court. He just didn't particularly like noblemares. He had resigned himself to marrying a daughter of one of the many rich or noble houses of Equestria, but it didn't mean he would make it easy for her. If his mate-to-be was going to be a gold digger or a trophy, she could at least be a compliant one.
Or so he had thought.
Hence why, theoretically, making Rarity's Gala evening go right was the easiest of the six. All he supposedly had to do was act like she wanted him to act: like a proper Prince and gentlecolt. He could even wine and dine her as necessary. It wouldn't be hard. But... it also raised other potential problems, mostly with the fact that her falling in love with him was rather different than them falling in love with each other. He could definitely act like he had fallen in love with her, but it would be just that: an act.
So: theoretically easiest. Theoretically.
Trial and error would have to fill in the rest.
Blueblood tapped his hoof, waiting for the door to open. True, he had dropped by uninvited and unannounced – that could be fixed next time – but honestly, how long was it taking for her to get sufficiently ready to answer his summons. The two loaned Royal Guard pegasi who had flown him to Ponyville were milling close by, not guarding him as much as they were the chariot. The Prince glanced down at himself and wondered if he had overdressed slightly with the change to formal wear.
Finally, the door opened... and a little filly with a pink and purple two-toned mane appeared.
The two ponies stared for a few seconds.
"You're not Miss Rarity," Blueblood stated, peering at her. "Or are you?"
"No she isn't!" a voice came from within the Boutique.
"I'm Sweetie Belle!" The little filly stuck out her hoof, then, thinking better of it, remembered her manners and bowed slightly. Nothing like the groveling and kowtowing that was expected whenever a real royal showed up.
Blueblood stared at the polite little filly.
He... just couldn't help it...
"I am Prince Blueblood. Tell me, Sweetie Belle, is your mother home?"
- - -
Blueblood composed himself. No jokes this time.
"I'm Sweetie Belle!" The adorable little filly, just like before, first thought about trying to shake hooves before remembering to bow in greeting. No jokes this. time. No jokes this time. No jokes this time.
"I am Prince Blueblood. Tell me, Sweetie Belle, would you like to go to the Gala with me?"
- - -
Okay. Seriously.
No jokes this time.
"I'm Sweetie Belle!"
"I am Prince Blueblood. Tell me, Sweetie Belle, is you sister home? I would dearly like to ask her something."
There: Blueblood felt quite proud. No need to make yet another hard reset of reality.
"Oh, um." The green eyed filly glanced back at the door, not really sure what to say. "She's..." Sweetie Belle answered slowly and hesitantly, "...here."
"Hm." Normally, he would have found something to amuse himself while he waited for the lady of the house to put her face on, so to speak. However, he had a lot to do today. Everything had to be ready before the Gala. Even during it. There was a very tight schedule.
"If you could," he asked, floating down a bouquet of flowers picked up on his way out of Canterlot. "Could you please give these to your sister and ask her if she is amenable to my escorting her to the Gala tonight?"
Sweetie Belle's mouth made an "o" and she giggled like, well, a schoolfilly.
"A-mean-i-ble means... what?" she asked innocently, as a vexed sound came from inside.
"It means consenting," he told her with a friendly smile. "Willing."
Proving a bit more clever than she appeared, Sweetie Belle stole a look back at the door, and the Boutique where her sister was feverishly trying to look presentable. If Rarity was like most mares Blueblood knew, she spent a good chunk of every morning getting herself presentable. Well, he did as well! Today was a bit special. He had skipped out on all but the essentials.
"I'm pretty sure she'll say yes," Sweetie Belle guessed.
"Good. I was thinking of having a chariot pick her up, but apparently she'd prefer to ride with her friends." He shook his head; no need to share that bit of information. "Just tell her to be ready by eight."
"Bye!" The little filly waved cheerily as he hurried to his next engagement.
Yes: Rarity would theoretically be the easiest of the six. All he had to do was not ruin her night while also possibly convincing her that she didn't want to marry into his family. If his harridan of a mother had been alive, Blueblood was sure that would have been much easier. He'd work out those particulars later.
The fashionista – part one – was ready.
The stage was set.
Now for the Element of Laughter.
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"No jokes this time."
That part was really funny.
Win.
I love how he utilizes his immortality. I half-expected him to "make love" with someone like, I dunno, twilight out of boredom. Without cloppy detail of course
Heh... Bisexual Royal Guard.
Sorry, I just pick things out like that. xD
It's been a long time a story with 7000+ word chapters has kept my interest without me looking up at my other tabs. I can't wait to read more :)
395350 He probably did at one point, or his teleportation addled mind never contemplated it.
Awesomeee!
>Still alive
gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2008/06/glados.jpg
>'mercury flavored' cupcakes
>Their new cellist was rather pretty as well
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_plot.png
>the maddeningly complex hedge labyrinth
images.encyclopediadramatica.se/4/4b/Nazipony.jpg
"Is your mother home?" I did an honest to goodness spit take. Beautiful!
395350
It was pretty strongly implied that he bedded Spitfire back in chapter 1, the first time he snuck out of the Gala with the two Wonderbolts.
On the typo front:
Not even very quickly, it seemed to leisurely drift through the air to land on target, right next to one of it's fellows, smack dap in the center.
should probably end
right next to one of its fellows, smack dab in the center.
WAha! Now that title of this story is starting to make sense.
I do have to admit I like this characterization of Blublood, that of a troll nd not a complete ass, though those aren't mutually exclusive traits.
... Okay, I can not BELIEVE that I missed this before, Capeh, but in the 'To seek to sell to find to prove to woo to talk' bit, woo is Whoop. As in to let out a joyful exclamation. Rarity is 'To find' to find her prince, while Pinkie is 'To whoop' and have a good time. They say it in order of their verses as well, so that's the other way to tell. :3 (Sorry for missing it all the way back when I did my first 'proofing' of it when I read it on Fanfiction! XD
(I figured it was pertinent to re-read this, what with it being what Deleteh is currently working on. :3 )
How do I add this epicalness to my favorites?!?!?!
I love the part where he goes to see the Mane 6 and keeps screwing up. Especially with Pinkie and when he runs into Sweetie Belle. =) LOVE IT!!
FREAKING LOL, DUDE. FREAKING LOL.
asking sweetie belle to the gala was the best possible thing you ever could have said. i laughed so hard i was almost crying
This chapter is all win.
Oh, Blueblood, playing with a mare's heart like a violin - then cutting the strings.
Blueblood's bout of suicidal tendencies was really heartbreaking to read. I commend this fic for giving me something to finally admire about Blueblood. I am so hooked on this story.
Reading this because of Sweetie Bell Chronicles. Blueblood must really feel bad after Sweetie disappears from the loops.
I don't know why but I lost it at the part where he burns the castle down.
i love this story
Blueblood, I know you didn't mean to, but you became a bigger troll than Celestia. Also, how does one regain their soul?
The magics at work here must be Eldritch in nature...
"Is your mother home?" YEAH! I LOVE IT! BEAUTIFUL! BRAVO! I`m sorry, I just loved that so much.
That's one nice thing about being stuck in a time-loop. You can screw around as much as you want without worrying about affecting your public image in the end!
The references are beautiful by the way.
Finally Bluey is learning some self-respect! So refreshing.
A throwaway comment in The Sweetie Belle Chronicles has left me jonesing for a "Blueblood takes Pinkie to the Gala" sidestory. I waaant iit...
I would s8y O8livion reference, 8ut this chapter is approxim8tely a year too old for that.
The only problem I have with great, opinion changing fan fics, is that they're just fan fics. A person can go really deeply into a subject or whatever, they can write the most heart breaking, most beautiful and emotional story ever created, but at the end of the day, it's just a fan fic. The only problem I have with this is that the emotional development of Blue Blood in this story is lost on the dull, unimportant, dimwitted Canon version that is the original Blue Blood of My little Pony Freindship is Magic.
I only write this to say that Fan Fictions have given me different opinions on Blue Blood (This especially), I can go back and watch the show to find he is simply a stupid rich Pompous a$$... Not someone as vividly described in this fanfiction.
And that bothers me.
Let's all stop watching the show and make Fan Fictions Canon.
I'm just writing this, I guess, to say that this fanfic is awesome, it's a great 'take' on Blue Blood.
I'm tired and writing shallow stuff that I meant to be kinda deep and meaninful.
Bleah.
Great Story :D
When Sweetie Opens the door, I always expect her to be the Sweetie Bell from "The Sweetie Belle Chronicles", since I read that one first!
396562 Bluebood and Sweetie Belle at the Gala. That would make one heck of a side story.
3332192
Try Lunaverse, Pinkie and Blueblood hook up there in a set of sidestories.
Good luck surviving Pinkie, Blueblood. Time loops, you can do whatever the hell you want, and nothing will ever change. Until you find the right thing that breaks it.
And now we have evidence that Blueblood and the Alicorn Sisters are related.
I tend not to comment very often, but I'm too busy fangirling to care.
This fic is quite possibly the best I've ever read. I actually can't put into words how much I'm enjoying this so far, but, suffice to say, I won't be sleeping tonight until I've read at least one more chapter!
On a side note, your - new and improved - Blueblood is hilarious :P
My favorite chunk of the story!
I love this so far. I must continue to read!
Well, that didn't work. Well, that didn't work. Well, that didn't work. Well, that didn't work....
The third stage: Nihilism.
Well, that was a delightful stop to his degeneration.
*Glances at Sweetie Chronicles*
Anyway, glad to see Bluey improving himself.
5614541 Well, that sure didn't work.
Should be:
"How doest thou manage that?" Luna grumbled, her old Equinese slipping in as she grew frustrated.
I wouldn't really expect most people to know this, but 'do' is an irregular verb in Middle English. It should be "How doth thou manage to do that?"
Or better yet, "How art thou able to manage such a feat?"
Ho-lee crap, I could not stop laughing at the Sweetie Belle bit of this chapter.
This has now easily become my favorite fic ever.
I actually had to step away from the computer laughing.
Awesome work.
And when you think it can't get better...
6717100 I see it more like a strange brotherly bond rather than an actual ship. I'm glad the Doctor isn't in this. Docblood? Blue-Box? Meh. Blueblood must've tried everything imaginable image ruining or not.
Well, I've let this sit long enough. Quite good actually.
This guy has went through life more times than father time could count in an eternity.
I was wondering how this story was going to go on for three more chapters. I have to say I am impressed by the notion. Getting Blueblood to interact around Ponyville and the mane 6 allows for some excellent bits of comedy and story telling purposes as well.
I know this this story is old but you did a good job writing it
I hasten to inform you, author, that your unique spin on the "come hell or high water" saying startled a laugh out of me - a rare feat for a work of fiction that wasn't written by sir Pratchett.
Also, ditto to all the praise for your story's depth and humor! (no point to reiterating it all when I couldn't possibly say anything new)
same
lol thats bucking hilarious