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unleashedtwilight


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T

WARNING: This story contains spoilers.

After dealing with the D.U.P. Delsin fulfilled his promises to the Akomish... But now he had something else to do...

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 131 )

Sarcastic mode activated :pinkiegasp:How could you do this? Writing this kind of story when there are many people in the audience that have never played the game before! This is madness!

...Okay, now that freak-out is done, :pinkiesmile:I hope this fic does well and at some point I will play this game and get the PS4. :yay:Keep rocking on.

Nice. Very nice indeed.

I still need to play the game. Watched a walkthrough, so I do know what happens, but I still wanna play it. Anyways, off to a... rocky start. You were doing fine up until you brought Celestia in. Then things just started to rush. I can see the teleportation thing working because it's pretty much what you start out with for every power; it's the dash/dodge action for magic. But having levitation immediately afterwards was pushing it.

Plus you turned Celestia into a vindictive bitch when she demanded an apology from a species that she knew had never seen ponies before. She had no reason to get angry at him, but suddenly she's not right after he violated her mind and stole powers from her; a prime reason for her to ACTUALLY be angry.

Then she takes him to Equestrian for no reason whatsoever, where her precious ponies live. A human, one who has shown that he has powers not like a common pony and can prove to be a major threat, was taken along for the ride. This just makes no sense to me.

I'm still going to follow your story. Your grammar/spelling was actually fine, unlike a large portion of writers on this site, so it gives me slight hope that this story will turn out well.

4194063

Well I was typing on my iPad during the end of the chapter so you do have a point... Thank you for your input, and I'll do my best to try to improve it.:twilightsmile:

I will look for this after I play the game.

4194383 If you were typing on an iPad, I'm amazed the grammar/spelling came out alright. Those things are notorious for having retarded auto correct functions.

4194470

Trust me, I know... I always make sure my idevice doesn't auto correct on me. it's just I feel like rushing more on it is all... so i have to work on that.

It could be better, if you wrote chapter about Twilight meeting a world full of people, who either scared of her or hate her, because of her powers.

Okay, I like infamous, but I don't think having Delsin straight-up absorb Celestia's powers and instantly be jumping through hoops with them is going to be very good plot-wise. It makes him very overpowered - you'd think magic would work along different principles than conduit powers - and leads to him doing overpowered boring stuff later on. Celestia's also a bit OOC, with the whole demand for an apology.

4194533 I write on my iPad as well and feel like I rush my writing too:/ would be nice to have a laptop lol.

Title, picture, summary, story, likes, fave, cheers, comments, epic.

Done.

It was.. nice. But it doesn't seem too.. you know... fast? I mean, there were parts with no explanation like "how in the heavens Twilight and Celestia ended up on Earth in the first place" or "why Celestia was acting like she was aware of the existance of the human race". I think you should slow down things first and try at least to "expand" your first chapter.

you really like... ellipses...

This is looking really good. I'd say you definitely have the personality of Good Delsin (the only version worth playing) down really well. I'm looking forward to the next update!

4194414 Ironic, considerin' the Al' Mercer thing ya got goin' :rainbowkiss:
Personally, I ADORE both games :pinkiehappy:

Ok I should really clear things up.. There will be a prequel chapter that will explain everything. I was gonna just add it, but I thought I should just tell you beforehand.

I do love me some Delsin.

4202158 Thank you very much:pinkiehappy:
I made it, myself :twilightsmile:

4201517 I played InFamous first. I cant get over the fact that the games were in the same places, the voices were similar for both games, and the both die in the sequels.

i played the game and it was awesome

4202362 Ya ain't wrong:ajbemused:
AND their voice actors changed in the sequels:facehoof:
But ya know, I still own [PROTOTYPE2] and inFAMOUS 2, so I can't bitch that much :rainbowkiss:

you my dear writer got my attention, fav, like and follow, hope to see more :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

4204178 Yeah, deep voices first games and slightly unrealistic sounding voiced in the sequel. I like alexs second voice and Coles first actor died.

I've never played Infamous: Second Son, but I've seen the walkthroughs, so I hope I'm justified in commenting/criticizing. I did the same thing, writing a crossover fic without playing the source material until only a few months ago, but I'm doing well with it. Anyways, enough of me.:twistnerd:

The first half of the chapter was nice, although like some other reviews are saying, it went by too fast (I'm a nerd for long chapters with juicy sentences, what can I say?:twilightblush:), especially by the second half. Nice save, introducing Twilight and Celestia as "bio-terrorists" at first, although a longer introduction would have been nice (how long it's been since the end of the game, how the Conduit situation's changed/improved since then, especially how Delsin's coping after "you know who"'s departure)

Another thing is Celestia's surprisingly vengeful personality. I won't say anymore since someone's already mentioned it, but what about her act of empowering Delsin even further? Sounds rather questionable, unless Celestia's already got a plan prepared for him, like the chessmaster she is.:trollestia:

Delsin's characterization, however, is rather interesting. I assumed due to "mentioned above"'s departure that Delsin would be a bit more wary around strangers. Yes, she has shown no reason to earn Delsin's mistrust other than her seemingly random ramblings, but at least knowing that Celestia's associated with a Conduit and later learning she's a super as well would raise a couple flags. Then again, Delsin's rather manchild-ish through the game, so maybe that can be excused (?)

Now for my blunt opinions. As for future chapters, it seems Delsin's new power can be labled "Alicorn" (nevermind, it's "Magic". Still sounds OP, though)? He can fly (he could fly in 4 different languages before, but why not giving him another?), telekinesis, and teleportation. If you're trying to keep this in the spirit of the game, try giving him powers or abilities that are unusual. You don't normally see smoke, neon, concrete, or video as a superpower, do you? It's just wind, fire, earth, light, or some other cliched BS. I was half-hoping his new power would be labeled "Sunlight" or something similar, and he could absorb "energy" by sunbathing.:rainbowlaugh:

If you played the game and collected the audio logs, there are a TON of Conduit superpowers that seem perfect for the environment of Seattle. Plants, wires, glass, paper...just damn. But please, don't go around having Delsin absorb powers from everypony or creature he encounters. Getting new powers is a plot device in the game (remember how Delsin's couldn't figure out his video power to work when he first got it, and how he couldn't absorb previous elements until he got enough core relays to beef up his current power?).

Sorry about the long review. When I see crossovers that interest me, I usually ramble on like this. Hope this helps and doesn't dissuade you from continuing this.

oh hell yeah delsin has magic:rainbowdetermined2:

Turth Be told, I've never played the Game (One/1 The very first game (which was InFamous, 2005... I think) was already out and I did not have the system at the time. Two/2. Because I don't have the game or the right system for it and Three/3. The Game didn't come out yet or it was out and I didn't know well...sort of...), but it looks awesome to me, so I'll read this Fanfic Crossover story, more will come soon! :twilightsmile: :pinkiesmile: :rainbowdetermined2:

Before reading I wonder. How much EDGES does it have? Bismuth levels are met? Donte is crying in shame? There is a "teen" tag - does it mean that it has not nearly enough fuckyous as there should be?

:duck:Hmmmmm, I'm intrigued. You May continue...

I'm surprised by how Deslin's reaction to this, seems a little off of his personality:trixieshiftright: *Hopefully Helpful Critism:scootangel:*

Watching a let's play of this game.
Gamer is fucking up pretty bad.
Now this story.
I love this shit!

Dragon:moustache:

This crossover Is gonna be good!:pinkiehappy:

Are we gonna have the good and bad choices to get a evil or good ending?

Twilight wouldn't be one to just backstab someone out of the blue.
Nevermind the fact they only just met.:applejackunsure:

Refuse to give Eugene away. Good

4250484

Yeah but like I said, Delsin wasn't the type of person to be evil.

4250485

Most people decided to go hero too on the game... But there are some that thought the evil ending was bad ass so I'm gonna write both stories... Yup, more work for me.:twilightoops:

It's unnatural and you must be contained!

Um... you did play the game, right? The DUP doesn't care whether or not conduit powers are natural or not, they were created because Kessler, Cole by accident, and The Beast left a really, really bad first impression of conduits on the world. It's not that they're unnatural, it's that they're dangerous.

Augustine is a changeling, calling it now. Also Celestia would probably be able to figure that out, you know, given how old she is.

4250561

I did play the game. I want to give the D.U.P. SOME lines different from the game. Plus every D.U.P. Soldier has their own reasons.

Good choice. Save Eugene.

4250605 Hmm, point taken. Also, good choice. I really can't see :twilightsmile: going the infamous route.

I don't think twilight would give anyone up, so Good

Hm. Well, not all that much better than the first chapter, but we're getting somewhere. Also, can't really see Twilight backstabbing Delsin/Eugene, even though she hasn't met Delsin yet. She doesn't seem like the type. Plus Eugene just saved her life, so there's that.

Though on that topic, good/bad karma choices... I've seen it done before, but it never really ended well. But now onto my main gripe for this chapter: The D.U.P.

If Delsin really did expose Augustine, then the D.U.P. wouldn't have attacked Twilight for being a Conduit. People would have given her a chance rather than them going ape shit over the fact they saw something unnatural, all thanks to Delsin's actions.

Plus there was a LOT of sensitive information being passed between parties for first impressions, same as with Celestia and Delsin. I can understand Twilight needing someone to tell more than Celestia would, but I still don't believe she would up and reveal everything at the drop of a hat like she did.

4250716

Yes but if you played the game you would've seen at the end there were still D.U.P. and people that were against Conduits.

4250731 That's just post game stuff. The game needed to have the people against you even then because nobody likes to do missions where nobody tries to stop you.

I choose Good because that's how I roll (If I ever get the right system for InFAMOUS: Second Son, I'll start off bad just to get it over with!), also Twilight Sparkle and Delsin Rowe are My Favorite Characters (Twilight is My Most Favorite and Delsin is just my Favorite)! :pinkiehappy:

Just to Prove my Point, here are My Favorite MLP and InFamous Characters:
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic:
01.) Twilight Sparkle (Most Favorite)
02.) Pinkie Pie
03.) Rainbow Dash
04.) Princess Luna
05.) Big Macintosh
06.) Lyra Heartstrings
07.) Trixie Lulamoon
08.) Shining Armor
09.) Flash Sentry
10.) Maud Pie
11.) Queen Chrysalis

InFAMOUS (1 & 2)/InFAMOUS: Second Son:
1.) Delsin Rowe

Yo, Unleashedtwilight, What do you think of the list I made?! :twilightsmile: :pinkiesmile: :rainbowdetermined2:

Evil. Gotta watch out for yourself

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