• Published 6th Apr 2014
  • 4,521 Views, 55 Comments

Scoots' Company - shortskirtsandexplosions



Scootaloo spends an afternoon out with Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

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Fearless

"Just a lil' further, squirt!" Rainbow Dash's voice cracked in the afternoon wind. She hovered over the crest of a hill, waving with a blue hoof. "You don't wanna miss this!" With a devilish smirk, she winked and dove out of view.

"Nnnngh!" Scootaloo huffed and puffed, kicking at her scooter in a desperate bid to catch up. "Almost... th-there...!"

"What's the hurry, Scootaloo?" Applejack called from several yards downhill. She smiled as she followed the filly at a leisurely trot, hauling a saddlebag full of picnic supplies on either flank. "We got ourselves all afternoon, remember?"

"I just... wanna... g-get to the top!" Scootaloo grunted.

"You can make it!" Rainbow's voice hollered from the other end. "Whew! Hah! Wait 'til you get a load of the view!"

"Careful, now, sugarcube!" Applejack's voice echoed once more.

Sweating profusely, Scootaloo pushed herself to the top. There, she skidded to a halt, gasping into the vastness below. "Whoahhhhh..."

"Ta-daaaaaa!" Rainbow Dash waved her forelimbs with a wild grin. Beyond her, the hazy vista of an enormous canyon loomed. Craggy desert rock and threadbare clusters of coniferous trees lingered along the outer rim of the upper layers of earth. "The one and only Ghastly Gorge!" Rainbow slicked her mane back. "The best spot in all of Equestria for fearless flight stunts! Yup, this is where I earned my wings as a little filly. Heh heh... well, maybe not as little as you, but you get the picture."

"She sure is a sight for sore eyes, ain't she?" Applejack trotted up and rested a hoof on Scootaloo's shoulder. "I always told out-of-towners that a postcard ain't enough to do it justice."

"Yeah..." Scootaloo nodded with a dumb smile. "I'd say..."

"So..." Applejack winked. "Wanna get a closer look?"

"Pffft! You kidding?" Rainbow Dash waved her forelimbs dramatically. "Take her to the brink, AJ! How else is she gonna see me show off my stuff?" She spread her wings and aimed herself like a blue bottle-rocket towards the depth of the canyon. "Take a close look, if you dare. Just not too close." A giggling voice followed her streaking tail as she plunged deep into the Gorge. "Don't wanna get your mind blown from my awesomeness!"

Scootaloo chuckled, wiping the sweat from her forelimbs. "This, I gotta see."

"Then how 'bout you let me carry your scooter for a while?" Applejack said. "You'll be safer on hoof from this point on."

Scootaloo groaned. "AJ..."

"Give 'er here, Scoots," Applejack said in chiding baritone. The filly reluctantly obeyed, and Applejack patted her back before ushering her forward. "And stick close to my side. She may be beautiful to look at, but I'll be darned if it makes a lick of sense to gravity."

"Woooohooo!" Rainbow's voice echoed in the distance.


Minutes later, Applejack and Scootaloo sat on a spread blanket, less than a meter from the edge of the canyon. Applejack munched on her umpteenth apple while Scootaloo sat, craning her neck to see into the depths of the Gorge. The muscles of her fuzzy orange face grew rounder and rounder as she watched Rainbow Dash soaring by on her latest lap, filling the desolate ravine with flare and color.

"Are ya gonna finish yer second sandwich, Scootaloo?" Applejack asked.

Scootaloo ignored that. "Jeez, I just can't get over how steep that is! I bet the winds go over seventy miles an hour down there! Like a funnel, y'know?"

"Reckon I wouldn't know," Applejack said, shrugging. "This is the closest I've ever been to the edge, to tell the truth."

Rainbow flew by yet again, this time throwing her voice so that it channeled skyward as if through an earthen megaphone.

"Heeheehee!" Scootaloo giggled, standing up and leaning forward. "Wowwww, that's gotta be such a rush—"

"Whoah there, speedy." Applejack gave her violet tail a strong tug, forcing her to plop back on her haunches. "Yer welcome to lose yer lunch cuz of these heights, but not yer head."

Scootaloo sighed, then glanced aside at the mare. "One of these days, I'll be able to fly just as well as Rainbow Dash."

"If not better," Applejack said with a wink.

Scootaloo's eyes twinkled. "Maybe then you'll let me do a fly-through?"

Applejack took a deep breath. At last, she exhaled softly. "First thang's first, darlin'. What say we start you out by usin' the path between the west and north orchards as a runway?"

"Unnnngh..." Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Fine."

"Wooooo-Haaahahaaa!" Rainbow's war cry lit the air with unmitigated showmareship. "You guys have no clue what you're friggin' missing!"

Scootaloo smirked one last time towards the canyon. "But, I swear, this place has my middle name written all over it..."

"Heh, maybe so, but still—"

Scootaloo cupped her mouth with two hooves and shouted into the Gorge. "And that name is 'Awesome!'"

The filly's voice reverberated off of every rock-face, causing a few pebbles near the edge to rattle off into the abyss.

Applejack winced, straightening her hat. "Land's sake!" She giggled. "Whew! Quite an echo!"

"You said it, sister!" Rainbow's voice returned.

Scootaloo chuckled to herself.

"Well, then..." Applejack stood up from the picnic blanket, wincing as she stretched her legs. "If yer done with yer food, then how about we get a move on? We should still have plenty of time to catch the show without havin' to lose our breaths over it."

"Yeah..." Scootaloo hopped up, cracking her neck and wing joints. "Works for me!"

As she and Applejack started packing their things up, Rainbow's startled voice shouted from a distance. "Hey! Will you at least wait for me? Jeez!"

Scootaloo's ears twitched, and she smiled.


"I feel kind of bad..."

"Hmmm?" Applejack glanced down, chewing on a stalk of hay.

Rainbow Dash flew low over the sunset path, raising an eyebrow. "What for, kiddo?"

Scootaloo looked up from where she was limply pushing herself along on the scooter. "I mean... about Apple Bloom."

"Pffft... Apple Bloom?" Rainbow smirked.

"What about her?" Applejack asked.

"We should have brought her along," Scootaloo muttered. "Here we are, having fun, and she's doing—what—loads of chores back home?"

Applejack chuckled, repositioning the stalk in her teeth. "Darlin', Apple Bloom ain't havin' to tackle anythang that's unfit for her."

"But—"

"And takin' a day off ain't a crime." The farm mare winked. "This day was meant for us... for you, sugarcube. You've earned it."

"How?" Scootaloo frowned. "I really stink at doing the chores." She sighed. "Big Mac, Apple Bloom, and even Granny Smith have all had to pick after my slack."

"Hey, so you need time to get used to farm livin'. That's okay, Scootaloo." Applejack smiled. "As for the rest of us, we were born into it. That's why it's a might bit easier for us to handle."

"Besides..." Rainbow Dash flew low enough to whisper in Scootaloo's ear. "We both know you were made for far less lame stuff. Am I right?"

"Snkkkt..." Scootaloo zig-zagged on her scooter as she broke into uncontrollable giggles.

Applejack spat out her hay stalk and smirked. "Now that's the spirit!"

"Hey guys?" Rainbow Dash flew around Applejack and pointed towards the nearby horizon. "Don't look now, but the show's about to start."

Scootaloo looked up.

On the edge of Ponyville, a long line had formed outside the gymnasium. Bright skylights swung golden swaths across the darkening heavens. From a distance, loud bass reverberations of music and roaring cheers could be heard.

"Oh no!" Scootaloo winced. "We're gonna be super late!"

"Like heck we are!" Rainbow Dash snorted and smirked aside. "AJ?"

"Relax, Scoots." Applejack winked down at the filly. "We'll get good seats. I promise."

"You sure?"

Applejack smirked, pointing at herself. "I'm honest Applejack, the most dependable pony in all of Ponyville."

Scootaloo stared at her blankly.

The farm mare cleared her throat and leaned in. "It means I've got connections, ya hear?"

"Hah hah hah!" Rainbow's lungs cracked with laughter. She hugged herself, sprawling in mid-air. "You bet my blue pastry plot, she does!" She shot forward with a burst of wind. "Let's mosey!"


WHUD! A stallion clad in spandex jumped off the turnbuckle and slammed his elbow into another pony lying prone on the center of the mat.

The entire gymnasium exploded with cheers, jeers, and whistling. Chants rang out from bleacher to bleacher. In the lower seats, ponies held up homemade signs and pumped their hooves in the air, yelling at opposite wrestlers of the tag-team match that was taking place under cold electric light.

"Ohhhhh!" Applejack winced, chuckling at the spectacle. "His mother had to have felt that one!"

"Pffft! Screw him! He wasn't even tagged in!" Rainbow Dash shouted from where she hovered above Applejack and Scootaloo. "Hey! Ref! You deaf or somethin'?! Get with the program!" She snarled, red in the face. "Don't let this be a repeat of Maretreal!"

"Uhhhh..." Scootaloo was sweating, shivering slightly. "Applejack, I th-thought you said that we were gonna get us seats!"

Applejack clenched her jaw tight, punching one hoof to another as she watched two stallions trading hard slaps outside the edge of the ring. "And I d-did, sugarcube!" she muttered out the side of her grinding teeth. "What, a bit too close to the action?!"

"But... but..." Scootaloo looked up at where Rainbow Dash had to hover.

"Ohhh! OHHH!" Rainbow Dash cackled, hugging herself in mid-air. "Didja see that, AJ?! A DDT into a cross-face! Now that's a first! Darn it, where's the friggin' ref when you need—?" She gasped, pointing at the arena right beside Applejack and Scootaloo. "Oh! Jeez! Look at this crap!"

Scootaloo gasped as two of the combatants lurched closer. By now, the bad guy was at the receiving end of the punishment while the local hero—snarling through his brightly-colored mask—laid on hoof after hammering hoof into his opponent's forehead. The other stallion reeled dramatically from the blow, teetering backwards until he slumped against the metal crowd barrier right next to AJ.

Applejack and Scootaloo bumped into each other. The filly gasped slightly, hugging her scooter to her chest.

Applejack noticed the little pony's shivers out the corner of her eye. She turned and spoke below the shouting crowd. "Scootaloo? You alright, darlin'?"

"I... uhm..." Scootaloo suddenly found it hard to breathe, her blood running cold.

Applejack's eyes glimmered warmly across the noisy arena. "Is this too much? We can skedaddle if ya like..."

The filly bit her lip. She started to hyperventilate. Clenching her eyes shut, she squeaked a few indecipherable words out. It was precisely then that she heard Rainbow's voice.

"Hey! They're chanting about you, champ!" A warm hoof tapped on her shoulder. "Open your eyes! Look!"

Scootaloo did so with a gasp.

The masked wrestler was fumbling for a chair, when all of the sudden the deafening crowd was grabbing his attention and pointing at Scootaloo. They shouted in cadence: "USE HER SCOOTER. USE HER SCOOTER. USE HER SCOOTER."

"Uhhh.. uhhh..." Scootaloo gulped.

"The dude's asking for it!" Rainbow grinned wickedly. "Let him have it!"

"AJ...?"

Applejack was smiling the whole time. "Sugarcube, I promise you with every honest ounce of my being." She turned and made hard eye-contact with the sweating athlete as she said, "he ain't gonna break yer scooter."

Scootaloo panted and panted. She looked up at Rainbow Dash.

The pegasus nod-nod-nodded.

Frowning, Scootaloo tossed her scooter out into the aisle with a grunt. "Nnngh!"

The masked stallion expertly caught it. He then waved to his ear, waited for the audience to cheer, then whalloped the bad guy across the skull with Scootaloo's transportation. The crowd erupted with uproarious shouts as soon as the punished stallion struck the floor. Striking a pose, the hero passed the scooter back into the stands.

Applejack took it and hoofed it to Scootaloo.

Scootaloo gawked at the scooter. Aside from a ribbon of sweat—"There's not even a dint in it!" she gasped. "It's like he didn't even hit the guy at all!"

"Heheh... yeah..." Applejack smiled while rolling her eyes. "Fancy that..."

"Wooo!" A fellow audience member patted Scootaloo's shoulder.

"Yeah! Filly! That was sick!" Another shouted.

"Way to go! Hah hah!"

Scootaloo found it easier to breath, her grin growing wider and wider. She looked up at Rainbow Dash, receiving a wink as a reward. She smiled, her cheeks turning red as she hugged the daring weapon to her fuzzy orange chest.

She was oblivious to the sound of the bell ringing and the announcer shouting for "disqualification."


"Did you see how that one dude jumped off the corner, did a forward flip, and collapsed through a pile of stallions?!" Scootaloo beamed.

"Yeah! I totally did!" Rainbow Dash dove through the starry sky and pretended to hit an invisible pony pyramid. "Nyeeeeeur—Kersplat! So wicked cool!"

"Heheh..." Applejack smirked. "Them's some talented ponies they got from Mexicolt. Reckon I dunno how they do it without breakin' those tiny necks of theirs."

Scootaloo glided circles around Applejack in the starlight. "Jeez Louise! Forget Ghastly Gorge!" She skidded to a stop in front of the farm mare, grinning wide. "I wanna be a Saddle Smackdown Sports Entertainer when I grow up!"

Applejack coughed her way through a grimacing expression. "I... th-think I'd rather you pursue the Gorge thang, to be perfectly honest."

"Oh please, AJ!" Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and laughed. "Let her reach for the stars! She's a young scamp, still, y'know?"

"I just wanna make a name for myself, ya feel me?" Scootaloo said, kicking ahead on her scooter. "I wanna do stuff that wows tons of ponies! Like those stallions we saw tonight!"

"Hate to break it to ya, sugarcube, but half of those fellas burn out lickety split. If ya ask me, yer better off—"

"What, buckin' apples?" Scootaloo giggled. "Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining! Heck, farm life's nice n'all, but someday I wouldn't mind seeing... oh, I dunno... an explosion or two."

"Now that's my girl!" Rainbow Dash smirked.

"Heheheh..." Applejack took a deep breath. "Ya sure yer ain't scared of livin' like that?"

"What, are you kidding?" Scootaloo skidded to a stop, staring sweatily up at the hill.

Applejack stood, gazing calmly. Rainbow Dash hovered beside her, staring at Scootaloo with a proud smile.

Scootaloo panted and panted. She gulped, and her smile faded.

Applejack blinked curiously, her mane blowing in the night wind.

When Scootaloo spoke, it was with a cracking voice. "Thank you, AJ..."

"For what?" Applejack shrugged. "I enjoyed our day out together. Didn't you?"

"No. I-I mean yes. I mean..." The filly's ears folded. She was breathing heavier and heavier. "Thank you, Applejack." She swallowed a lump down her throat. "For everything."

Applejack's lips pursed.

"For taking me in," Scootaloo continued, fumbling. "F-for letting me live on the farm. For teaching me how to do chores. I-I don't care how boring it may seem. And for... for..." Scootaloo clenched her eyes shut as her head shook, bowing to the handles of the scooter that trembled in her grasp. "... f-for not l-leaving me..."

"Awwwww, darlin'..." Applejack trotted over.

"I've been so afraid to say it," Scootaloo wept. The scooter fell to the grass as she collapsed on her knees. "So very... v-very afraid to say it..."

"It's okay, Scootaloo." Applejack swept her up in a dear hug, running her hoof through the filly's mane as she nuzzled her close. "You don't have to be afraid to say it. You don't have to be afraid of sayin' anythang."

Scootaloo hiccuped. Her eyes squeezed out icy tears as she finally blurted, "I love you, Applejack. I love you... I want to love all of you. But it's just so scary... because everytime I say it... every time it happens... I lose somepony. And I don't want to lose you too. Not like... n-not like..."

"Shhhh... it's okay... it's going to be okay..."

"H-how can you s-say that?" Scootaloo whimpered, sniffling between shaky breaths. "Everypony says that. And everypony's wrong! I swear t-to Celestia, I'm just a stupid flightless sponge for suck..."

"I can say it because it's true..." Applejack tilted Scootaloo's face up to see hers. "And darned if I'm gonna be dishonest for a single moment about it."

"But... but..."

"Look at me." Applejack's gaze was a sharp, piercing thing. "You ain't gonna be alone again. I won't let that happen. You've carried yer burden more than once in life, and I'm not about to leave yer side. None of the Apple Family's gonna abandon you. We're gonna help you along until yer ready to stretch your wings. And even after then, we'll always be yer family. Ya hear me?"

Scootaloo shivered and shivered. Eventually, she gave a tearful nod. "I hear you..." She leaned in, nuzzling Applejack's neck with a moist cheek. "I hear you... and I-I believe you..."

Applejack gave a bittersweet smile as she held Scootaloo close, patting her shoulder with an orange hoof. "I love you, Scootaloo. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be afraid. But don't you ever once think that yer alone, ya hear?"

"I won't, AJ..." She glanced up at the sky. All she saw was stars, and they too became blurry. She closed her eyes and melted along with them. "I won't..."


"And that's when the yellow birdie thought to herself, 'Hmmmmm, my favorite little tree isn't such a little tree anymore. So she sang her song big and strong, and they all lived in that great big tree happily ever after. The end.'"

Smiling softly, Applejack slapped the book shut and leaned towards the edge of her stool.

With tired eyes, Scootaloo blinked from under the covers of her upstairs bed. "AJ...?"

"Yeah, Scootaloo?"

"...how can you read a bedtime story in the dark?"

Applejack did a double-take at that. She chuckled, stroking her blonde bangs straight as she said, "Well, to be honest, I kinda have that old tale stuck in my noggin'. Holdin' the book just gets me into the spirit of things."

"For real?"

"It seemed to work for my Ma and Pa when they read to me when I was yer age."

Scootaloo's eyes were narrow as knives. "Were you really my age when they read you that story?"

"Erm... k-kinda?" Applejack smiled nervously.

Scootaloo sighed, staring into the bed mattress. "If you ever tell Apple Bloom or Big Mac that you were reading me a story for little foals..."

"Uh uh... t'ain't happenin'." Applejack winked and crossed her chest with a hoof. "Pinkie Pie Swear."

Scootaloo's eyes glistened in the darkness. "You promise?"

"I promise."

"Even if it means having to cover it up with a lie?"

Applejack smiled. "You still don't know me well enough. I've got—"

"—connections. Got it."

Applejack chuckled. "Somethin' like that." She reached forward and caressed Scootaloo's cheek. "You feelin' better now, sugarcube?"

Scootaloo slowly, slowly nodded.

"I know I've said this before, but I wanna make sure you hear it every time." Applejack gulped and spoke succinctly. "Yer a blessin' to this here farm, and we're all plum happy to have ya in the family."

"Heheh... You have said it a million times, AJ. And I've heard you a million and one times."

"I really mean it though, darlin'. Things are gonna be different this time. You'll see."

"I believe you, Applejack..." Scootaloo said with a warm smile. "You're a great sister..." Her mouth hung open, and she blurted the next words out. "You're the greatest sister a filly could ever ask for."

Applejack leaned back. With each progressive blink, her eyes grew mistier. At last, she broke visual contact with Scootaloo, glancing at the wooden floor as she cleared her throat, sniffling once or twice. "I... uhm... I reckon I should let you get some shut-eye now."

"Okay..."

Applejack leaned over, nuzzled Scootaloo's cheek, then trotted towards the door. She lingered in the lit frame, pausing to look over her shoulder and say, "I r-really enjoyed our day together, Scootaloo. I hope you know that."

Scootaloo cuddled tighter against her pillow. "See you in the morning, Applejack. I'll be ready for my chores again."

"Heh... one thing at a time." With a slight creak, the door closed shut.

Scootaloo gazed into the shadows, her smile slowly fading. It wasn't long after that her ears twitched to a breathless sound.

"I never figured her to be so sappy," the voice cracked. "But, hey, at least she knows what she's talking about."

Scootaloo pulled the blankets tighter. With a shuddering breath, she murmured, "She really is too nice to me."

"No way..." Rainbow Dash trotted out of the corner, gazing softly at the filly in bed. "I'd say she's right on the ball."

Scootaloo said nothing. She stared deeply into the mattress.

Rainbow Dash bit her lip. "Hey..." She trotted forward. "Hey, champ."

Scootaloo sniffled and glanced up.

Rainbow gave a gentle smile. "You can never be too nice to her, either." She chuckled slightly. "To all of them. I don't care how sappy."

The filly took a deep, shuddering breath. "For the longest time, I was so... so mad at you."

Rainbow winced at that, avoiding foal's gaze.

"But..." Scootaloo's voice squeaked. "Then I realized... that as awesome as you are... even you couldn't stop everything."

Rainbow Dash stood up straight, her wings outstretched. "I would have gone with you to the end, Scootaloo." She stared firmly at Scootaloo's face. "To the end. You believe me, don't you?"

Scootaloo nodded. "Just like I believe Applejack." She sighed. "And I love her t-too."

Rainbow solidly spoke, "But you have to let me go first."

Scootaloo opened her mouth... but lingered. It wasn't until a tear or two fell down her cheek that she said, "Just a little bit longer?" She gulped. "Please...?"

Rainbow stared. At last, she smiled, and scooted over to the bed. She didn't take Applejack's stool, but instead leaned over it, wrapping her arms around Scootaloo's shoulders.

The filly hugged herself, whimpering into the mattress. "I forgive you... pl-please... please d-don't be mad at me. I'm sorry for being angry..."

"Shhhh... don't get mushy on me, squirt..." Rainbow Dash whispered into Scootaloo's ear. A lasting wind, a final nuzzle. "I'll always... always be proud of you."

Scootaloo cracked forth a grin, crying sweetly into the bedsheets. Alone.

"You're in good hooves, ya hear me?" A devilish wink, and then darkness. "The best hooves..."


Big Macintosh yawned... and yawned... and yawned, slumping against the kitchen table with bloodshot eyes.

Granny Smith trotted limply past the sink in her bed slippers. "Good mornin', Big Mac. Rough night?"

"Eeeeeeyup..." The stallion half-growled.

"Well, have yerself a seat and I'll see about pourin' you some pick-me-up."

"Mornin' Granny. Mornin' Big Mac," Applejack said, carrying Apple Bloom into the kitchen.

"Heh, good mornin' yerself!" Granny squinted across the hazy interior. "Why, ain't you a spry young filly today!"

"Slept like a rock, Granny." Applejack smirked. "I'm feelin' good about this week."

"Least you can say about Apple Bloom there." Granny Smith chuckled, ruffling the drowsy foal's red mane as Applejack passed by. "Heheheh... missed some of the sheep hoppin' over the fence, darlin'?"

"Nnnnngh..." Apple Bloom turned over and curled up on Applejack's back side. "Just f-five more minutes..."

"No can do, Apple Bloom," Applejack said. "We've got a bushel of fresh apples to haul across town for market. Now how 'bout you get upstairs and knock on yer new sister's door? We could use every bit of help we can get."

"Why bother...?" Apple Bloom pointed out the kitchen window. "She's... nynnnngh... already awake..."

"Wha-Huh?!" Applejack flashed a look outside. Atop a nearby silo, a tiny pegasus-shaped shadow was perched. "Land's sakes!"

"Jumpin' jackrabbits!" Granny Smith gasped, dropping the coffee pitcher.

"H-huh?!" Big Mac sat up, bleary-eyed and blinking.

Applejack was already bursting through the back door with Apple Bloom in tow. Not long after, Big Macintosh and Granny Smith scurried behind. The four galloped across the dewy grass of the farm in the crisp light of dawn, coming to a skidding stop at the bottom of the silo.

"Scootaloo!" Applejack shouted. "What in tarnation...?!"

"Stay where you are, young'n!" Granny Smith hollered. "We'll fetch a ladder for ya!"

"Scoots?" Apple Bloom squinted tiredly. "How in the hay didja even get up there?"

"It's okay..." A voice calmly said.

"Huh?!"

"It's okay, everypony." Scootaloo stopped gazing at the eastern horizon. She turned and looked down at Applejack, smiling, her warm eyes glossy with tears. "Everything's fine." She sighed happily. "I just... felt that it was a good day to stretch my wings."

Comments ( 52 )

Scoots, what are you doing.
Scoots, stahp!
That ending... Wow.
PS: FIRST! Huehuehuehuehuehuehue

Ha, it looks like Scoots has fins. :rainbowlaugh:

Hmm...

Liked it. I usually don't care for OrphanLoo stories, but this was just the right bit of sweet and sad to make it work. The twist came completely out of left field, but it worked well for the story. Kinda like, and I assume this was intentional, The Sixth Sense, in that once you look back you can totally see the signs.

Short, fluffy, and sweet. I likey!

Also:

"One of these, I'll be able to fly just as well as Rainbow Dash."

One of these days

You know, I love it and hate it when I figure things out halfway through.

Applejack winced, straightening her hat. "Land's sake!" She giggled. "Whew! Quite an echo!"

"You said it, sister!" Rainbow's voice returned.

Scootaloo chuckled to herself.

Or early on in this case. Ruins the feels. Damn. Have I become too jaded? :ajsleepy:

Nice little story, though.

Garbo #6 · Apr 6th, 2014 · · ·

4189145
It's a sad story and all you can say is that scoots looks like a fish?
Never change, Bob. Never change.

You know, I started getting a creepy vibe there at the end.
I got a headcannon about this fanfic:
Rainbow Dash died before this story started, and Scoots is just imagining her through the entire story.
All the dialog still makes sense with her deleted, and it adds a bit more desperation to the bonding time.
What a :twistnerd:!

im just confused what exatly happend here?

Applejack said in chiding baritone.

Looks like Applejack finally got that sex change.

Damn, dude... This was a gem of one.

Poor Scootaloo...

~Skeeter The Lurker

Took me longer than it should have to figure it out...
But first couple of paragraphs in hmmm...skirts story that seems cute and happy. Prepare for feels, this is gonna be a doozy.

Y-Yeah. I, uh... wow. That was... damn.

Damn.

Very rarely do I favourite one-shots... :heart:

Fantastic there at the end. It blindsided me.

I think maybe the reason I like this story so much is because it's a perfect example of a higher tier of writing that I'd love to achieve someday.
All my story ideas, from things I've actually written to things that bounce around in the back of my brain, are so focused on the action. It's always some crazy adventure or space-quest or situational comedy. It's never about the characters, but only about what they're doing. This story is exactly the opposite of that. In all respects, the "actions" that Scootaloo and Applejack do in this are boring. It's just a short little day of activities and then sleep and then breakfast. It's something deeper, more character-focused, that makes this story good. Something that makes boring activities into something more fun to read than any headbutting action scene. It's super humbling, but at the same time it's the ultimate encouragement to keep working until I can write with that 'something'.

...or maybe I just love sad!Scoots.
*shrug*

Dammit, skirts; you and your emotional wizardry. :raritydespair:

I thought it was kind of odd, how detached Rainbow was from the action, always kinda doing her own thing around AJ and Scoots. And then it clicked. And am I right in assuming that Scootaloo finally flew at the end? Really nice closure, in a sense.

They should take heart, though. They'll see Rainbow again, as they cross the Styx. :pinkiecrazy:

I like it. Sad and bittersweet just how I want it

I read this story through the first time and didn't get it.:rainbowhuh:
Then I read it a second time It clicked why Applejack didn't respond to Rainbow. :pinkiesad2:
A very sad and tragic story but also a happy one as well.
Well done, Short skirts

You did it again

-Xgenmine

Have some spikestache

:moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:

So resisting the urge to make a CMC version with DT and SS as the landlords.

John Ritterloo

Apple Debloom

and... yeah, we don't even have to mention who Sweetie Belle is.

Something about Silver Spoon as Don Knotts is... it just feels so right. Those two are very expressive in the way they talk.

Anyhow, time to partake in the reading of fav CMC.

That was a turn, I was starting to wonder what was supposed to be sad. That final quarter of the story was worth it though.

That was a sweet little story.

Well played, good sir.

First, I love stories with an Applejack/Scootaloo relationship. They're so rare because these two barely interact in the show but I can see them being very close.

Second, I really didn't expect the ending. I feel stupid but it really caught me for a loop. Ah, this was really nice!

This was beautifully done. Made me :applecry:

"But, I swear, this place has my middle name written all over it..."

Vivian?

Scootaloo cupped her mouth with two hooves and shouted into the Gorge. "And that name is 'Awesome!'"

Oh.

In any case, an excellent bit of subtlety, provided the reader doesn't look at the comments first. (Fully aware I'm not helping there. :derpytongue2:) The "Sad" tag certainly applies, but this is the sort of sad story I really like. It's not about wallowing in sorrow, but moving past it. Releasing the emotional ballast and soaring high, even with tears in your eyes.

Sorry for the cheese. Thank you for this, skirts. :scootangel:

That's... wow. That is incredibly well-done. I'm assuming it's been some time since AJ adopted Scootaloo, because I doubt Scoots could be so willing to let RD go if it was recent. At the end, when Scoots and Rainbow talk for the last time... The feels, man. The feels.

4191773
There is nothing I can comment to tell you how much I cried...
My heart is now broken and falling into my stomach...

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

1.I'm bit confused (That may be because a kinda skipped through it) can some pony explain was happened to me? :scootangel:
2. Where did they sit during the game?:rainbowhuh:

Comment posted by juter4397 deleted Apr 8th, 2014

Terrific story.

Love the new cover art. Closer inspection can spoil the ending, but most people would only notice it after reading.

Very timely, releasing this on the weekend of Wrestlemania 30. About halfway through, I was thinking to myself how much better a sister Applejack would be than Rainbow Dash. Now, I kinda feel horrible about that.

Fantasic, from beginning to end. The twist hit me hard, but that just made it all the more touching. Well done.

Heh. I actually had to read the comments to figure things out. I feel silly now.

I just noticed, Rainbow Dash isn't casting a shadow in the cover art.

"Dead all along" stories don't touch me anymore, since Bittersweet referenced that one episode of Scrubs (you know the one).

This is an excellent story. Every single line is packed with character. You know how people share screenshots from the show showing very subtle changes in facial expressions from frame to frame showing how the different characters react? This is the literary equivalent.

Is this a sequel of .until the last pony is ferried. ?

I didn't get it, but now I do... I guess if you made it a little more clear what was happeningbi would've liked it more but, eh, who cares, it's still good.

Hap

4198226 Dude.

I. Did. Not. Notice. That.


I'm not sure about the end though. Is Scootaloo trying to fly, or trying to jump to her death? Maybe I've read too much Skirts...

4189264 I don't think "understanding the twist ending" counts as headcanon. It's just... canon.

Yup, a solid story. Your shorter pieces are getting really polished, especially the dialogue that, through its realism of the "people don't normally have conversations; they sort of talk across each other" sort, successfully concealed the twist. I didn't even hate Angsty Scoot in this, which is a bloody fine achievement in itself.

I wondered why Rainbow didn't eat anything, but that was it as far as picking up on clues; I didn't guess the twist until the moment she appeared in Scoot's room.

Freaking awesome story I didn't even notice AJ didn't acknowledge Rainbow at the beginning but the end made it much more clear.

Too sad.... you my terrible and evil author are too good. Keep it up. :scootangel:

There was a spot (or more) that could of used a tad fixin but the only major one was:

"Applejack was already bursting through the back door with Apple Bloom in tow. Not long after, Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom scurried behind. The four galloped across the dewy grass of the farm in the crisp light of dawn, coming to a skidding stop at the bottom of the silo."

With Bloom in tow then Bloom scurrrying with Mac there seems to be no Granny and then there are four of em (without Granny mentioned) goin out to see Scoots or I'm reading something wrong.

Hope I'm not being a bother to ya.

Meh, no feels were had. RD's death is far to abstract as to invoke any reaction. Also, this is a story by SS&E, and I saw the cover. Dash has no shadow.
One plus one makes two.

I just finished watching Tokyo Magnitude and I saw that twist coming a mile away. I should have caught on to this one sooner. Muchas Kudos.

oh my goodness. i caught onto the twist too late before I could prepare myself ;-;

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