• Member Since 25th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Winter Quill


AKA Theo Winters. A Long time pony fan, writer and all around wacky pony. Now with a patreon & ko-fi.

E

The Flim Flam brothers made a number of claims about the Miracle Curative Tonic, and even though one was brushed aside there is still one pony in Ponyville who's interested in adding a few years.

Just a one shot idea I had inspired by Leap of Faith

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 3 )

Well, it's better than anything I could write over one lunchtime.

The biggest issue is that it feels rushed. I don't think it's enough to just state that he's ignored--you could have gotten a lot more mileage out of showing ponies ignore him, and then showing them listening to him.

Also, Applejack disapproves of this ending. :ajbemused: (I suppose that ties into how rushed it is--is looking old really the simple solution, or will it create new problems that would extend the story?)

Also, there's a "meat for somebody old” that's probably supposed to be “meant for somebody old.”

4174833 All fair comments really. Your right, most of the issues is from the fact that it's a super short that I wanted to get done quickly. I could flesh this out into a longer story, but I suspect the idea would get a bit to strained for that. Mostly I just wanted to play around with the title statement and find an interesting take on it. That and it's oddly fun to write Flim and Flam.

Oh, and I got that error fixed, curse you homonyms! (not that this is one, but I still stand by my cursing).

A very solid little fic. It definitely feels a bit rushed and in spots it was hard to know who you were speaking about. This is a cute idea though I agree AJ would be very unimpressed with that ending it still kinda fits.:rainbowlaugh:

If it's not too impolite of me I'd suggest getting a hand or perhaps checking out some of the writing advice you can find all over fimfic or in EQD's editor's omnibus and maybe see about submitting it. I'd d my best to get it in.:twilightsmile:

Login or register to comment