While at a slumber party telling spooky stories, Twilight learns of one story that is supposedly true, and just has to investigate...
(Featured on EqD.)
I'm eager to hear what happens next
Ooh this is fabulous! I can't wait to read more
What the...what? How the heck are you going to leave me hanging like that >_>
i have to use this
I can't believe Fluttershy would participate in essentially forcing RD to go to the manor.
"Only in Ponyville, you said so yourself."
"Fluttershy, have I wronged you in some way? I mean, really. You are the LAST pony I expected to be getting in on this."
"You made fun of my cheering skills."
Oh, very good. I really like how you included every pony into the dialogue. I found this through the romance tag, but now I just want to follow the story, wherever it goes.
I'm eager to see where this goes.
Oh I can already taste the terror and it tastes like magenta! This is gonna be good.
Ooh, I like where this is going. Great writing, and an interesting idea! You have me....hooked! I know, lame, but can't wait for more
i see a romance tag and i see twi and rainbow DING DING DING DING!
Ooh, intense story. I look forward to the rest of it.
The wind has turned Rarity's mane into something that resembles Rainbow Dash's mane, minus the difference in color.
"This is the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!"
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!"
Awesome, I'm highly interested now. I really like your take on the characters and the slight worldbuilding. I really don't have anything to criticize, and I almost always have more criticism than praise. Keep'em coming!
This is really quite interesting. Very captivating. I don't have proper words to say how I enjoy the story. It's just, very very good. Keep it up!
I do not know where this story is going but I go along
I would be happy with more
Ghosts? Who you gonna call?
CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS GHOSTBUSTERS, YAY!!!
great story, can't wait for more!
Congrats on the EQD post
I was expecting the other "Synchronicity" by Sev when I clicked this... Guess I'm entitled to try this one now that I commented...
Okay, now this is interesting. For starters I love how you took the extra effort to conduct three different tellings of the same legend to align with cultural differences between the three races, that's well appreciate from someone who's been doing a lot of his own world-building himself lately on other projects. Loved your further reasoning as to why each culture saw things that way. Really good stuff.
And obviously this is well written, I don't think I caught one spelling error the entire time.
As for what you've developed around the plot. Pretty good so far, I'm not sure I can say I'm really invested yet into it. But a few more updates and you'll probably have me in for it.
I approve. Been a while since I've read/watched/played anything good involving the supernatural realm. I am pleased Battle-Brother.
This is one of those cases where a thin line separates courage from foolishness, ain't it? xD
I'm going into this, slightly apprehensive. The last time I read a similar ship fic in which Twilight involved herself with dark magic studies from another pony, Twilight ended up dying... was not a good end. Still, it's really well written, and I can't seem to stop reading.
Feels Lovecraftian when she's talking about folklore. :P Reminds me of a bit of... crap, that story with the aliens washing up in a flood up in Maine.
why is their is no mystery tag option i'll never know, cus this story is delicious so far
RD just got herself into deep shit
I am somehow okay with this. Continue.
hmm i have the feeling that pinkie's knee is going to become really pinchy
I am curious now. Please continue...
Also, it is TwiDash, so I was curious anyway.
Kinda reminds me of The Police album Synchronicity.
Oh and that song is called Synchronicity I.
My advice: Burn the book then go burn down the manor and all its gardens. Its the only way to be sure.
I it. I get chills when reading this...and I love it.
Spoilers: Pinkie totally did plan out the lightning bolt.
The way they interact is so cute to me, I could ALMOST forget about the creepy book and haunted mansion hanging over their heads.
>>790918790918 Creepy book? Haunted Mansion? Oh right! I completely forgot about those during the supper scene
That title... My dad loves that song.
I totally could forget about that stuff if they'd stop mentioning it! Can't you two just be adorable without bringing up the scary mansion every five minutes?!
This is very interesting and mysterious. For some reason when I read it ti reads like something from Silent Hill. To me anyway. Good chapter.
That was some great character development, and wonderful ties back to culture, by that I mean the development of ghost stories and common themes. It's interesting to see a ghost story taken from a perspective of those who are referencing others to resolve their own problem.
Well I won't be sleeping tonight.
I think that once Rainbow awakens, the very next night they go to the manor and must escape the clutches of an ethereal being who wants her diary back.
Now this right here was an awesome chapter. The character interactions are charming and believable, and only now are we starting to get hints of romance, so you're obviously taking your time developing the relationship, which I appreciate massively. Not to mention that you're taking what I personally believe tends to be the best approach to shipping: making it only one facet, if a not-insubstantial one, of a larger story.
I also loved your development of Rainbow's past and resulting analysis of her psyche. And that second paragraph was an absolute joy to read; keep that up and you'll earn that currently-empty slot in my "Excellent Prose" feature box.
Mmm... Character development.
I was actually a bit iffy about following this on some of the earlier chapters, but this chapter completely sealed the deal for me - amazing.
Does this scare the shit out of anyone else? I might pee my pants tonight. Never read this story at 11 pm.
Psh,I Read this at 2:00 A.M
Didn't even get chills.
Great chapter, but not very horror-inducing. The chapter title lied to me.
I've never said this before, but I actually wish I hadn't discovered this story until it was finished. Trying to read it in snippets is going to completely wreck the mood... Maybe I should just track it until it gets marked 'complete', or watch for it on EqD...
Another great chapter
I'm glad to see that you're taking your time developing the romance between Twilight and Dash, so many fics I have read just rush into the relationship, and because of this they lose all the juicy lead-up.
I'm looking forwards to more
Now THIS is shipping I can get behind!
>>758742758742 I'm not the only one who thought of synchronicity I!!!
Would make sense for pegasi to question certain plants. They live in clouds and would probably have little knowledge of vegetation. Unincluding "cloud seeding" which doesn't exist yet.
great well written.. you have talent here keep going
It's a good chapter, mostly! The interaction between the two of them seemed to drag at first, but it got better as it went.
I agree with all previous statements. The character interaction is the crown jewel here. Keep it up!
Another Synchronicity? Hmmmm...
Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Romance, and HORROR!?
Well everyone, that's the end of the ride. Hope you all enjoyed it while it lasted. I know I didn't do any responding to comments while the story was unfinished (because I don't really trust myself to not give stuff away or hint heavily at things), but if you've got any things you'd like to say or ask now things are done, I guess now would be the time to say or ask them. Thanks for reading!
The moment when you're just reading the ending and c418's Haggstrom comes on, really ruins it.
I don't know if the dark tag fits on this. It seemed more like a tragic story that turned beautiful in the end. Like winter turning to spring. Anyway, a beautiful story and a fun one to read. Well done.
It's the very mildlest form of darkness. I was considering leaving it off, but between the hauntings and the suicides I figured it just scrapes by as being enough to justify it. I did feel a bit bad that people might have been expecting something a little more... Lovecraftian to happen, though. Sorry 'bout that.
Awh, this ended on such a sweet note that I think I'mma get cavities.
It was a good story, I applaud you!
A marvelous ghost story.
The best romances always do. Glad you liked it!
Take all of my bloody likes!
open-end and extremely cute, a wonderful job
D'awwwwwwww... That was a touching/sweet/great ending. Have these moustaches.
I love how simple and straightforward the story was. Nothing big, nothing confusing, just a simple "Twilight and Rainbow Dash are in a ghost story", with some "Genre Savvy Characters" thrown in for good measure. I also like Rainbow Dash being the "Expert" in this scenario. XD
This is the first fic to ship these two that I ever bought. Rainbow Dash getting all book-nerdy with Twilight is just one of the best things ever. And I appreciate that the romance was there, but remained a subtlety, open-ended, and focused still on the horror and suspense of the ghost story they were trapped in. This was, in some parts I'll admit more than others, points where I felt a tingle go up my spine. Keep up the good work and hone your talent, I always love a good, Gothic horror. :3
Many tears were shed. but before that, it scared the crap outta me. I had to sit against a wall to make sure nothing was behind me.
Awesome. Just awesome.
When Rainbow was just casually reading a book at Twilight's place in the show, I thought that was possibly the cutest thing ever and I knew I wanted to write something that expanded on it. Just a straight-up romance wouldn't have enough tension in it, so I was thinking for a while about a second story thread to bolt on to the initial idea. A ghost seemed like an easy way to get them to spend time together, and the rest of the story evolved out of that.
Gothic horror, yes, that's exactly the vibe I was aiming for. The kind of tension it creates was fun to write alongside a developing relationship - they're kind of similar, in that there has to be this constant sense of rising pressure, like things are always building towards a tipping point. Glad you enjoyed reading it.
I am dignified to say the same thing.
>>831029831029 I wanted to say this was the buckin best horror story I have read on this site
I was never really scared ( it takes a lot to scare me), but i could feel the tension in the air. The only thing the prevented chills was this heat we have were i'm at. ( 103 today).
It was a well written mature story, and i do mean than in the good way. i hope you continue to produce high quality works like this.
Excuse me, but how do you think Luna is going to react to Twilight putting a deadly poison on the moon? That's like putting a barrel of toxic waste in someone's house.
I don't know if I was ever trying to really scare anyone (it's a little hard to do with tiny pastel horses), but it's good to know the tension worked. Thanks!
It's probably not there anymore. The lack of gravity and atmosphere allowed it to float away.
It's somewhere where it can't do harm to anypony. And you can't just go about vaporizing strange potions, you don't know what kinds of unsafe things they might leave behind. Thankfully, very few things are sent to the moon, so it doesn't get cluttered up there or anything.
D'aww. Just scary enough to keep me reading, and just romantic enough to make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :D
>>831210831210 Doesnt get cluttered? I kept a list of things orbiting Equestria's moon.
1.Over 9000 bananas.
2. The Celestia team of the Brony International Guard.
3. A billion moon pies.
4. Memepony and house-burned-down pony.
5. The Orbital Friendship Cannon.
6. Everything that disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle.
7. Poisonous chemicals.
8. Luna herself.
Awesome ending for an awesome story.
I didn't really know what to expect but I liked where the story went. Like I said it was a fun read.
but no no more black roses
Oh that ending was beautiful, and so fitting for such a beautifully written story, well done
Well done. It's a beautiful story.
I'll admit, I was kind of wary to read this whole thing, since it gives off the impression of being a horror story and all.
I'm glad it wasn't that scary, though. Very satisfying ending, too.
Very few things are sent to the moon. Just the enemies of Equestria.
Or the ponies who really, really try Celestia's patience.
I loved the way you worked the two genres together like that, both the romance elements and gothic elements fed off each other perfectly and made this story a pleasure to read
On a side-note:
“We do,” Twilight said, then turned her attention back to the board. “We should go back there at the same time new entries appear in the diary. That's...” She scanned the categories of common themes in ghost stories with a floating piece of chalk. “Repetition of Supernatural Phenomena at Specific Times.”
“Yeah.” Twilight marked it with a cross.
This bit was kinda confusing in regards to who was speaking. Perhaps mentioning that Dash says it I.e. "Yeah." said Rainbow, as Twilight marked it with a cross.
Apart from that minor point, all i have to say is good job on writing such an intriguing and well-written story, and I hope you're going to keep giving us wonderful stories like this one in the future.
A spectacular end to a spectacular story. I came in looking for some Twidash and even though I didn't find it, I still leave satisfied.
When I read the part when Twilight transported the poison, my first initial reaction was:
"Don't let little Woona find it!" .
Other than that... This was amazing and, well, good. I don't have much to say so...
GOOD JOB! :D
This was my favorite 'Ghost Story' set in the FiM universe so far. Well done. I still wish I hadn't learned about it until now though, the pacing was unfortunately damaged by the periodical format.
I hope to see more from you soon!
So the romance tag is for the ghosts
Damn, I would've liked some TwiDash to end the story with
Nice story though somewhat hard to follow at times (I'm Belgian)
>>836528836528 it did end with twidash.
>>836656836656 Excuse me but when I say TwiDash, I actually mean: soppy, romantic, 'I confess my love for her' Twidash
You gave some hints to it but didn't elaborate on it in the end
“These ponies say that, in the middle of the night, if you walk down the road that passes Maresdon Manor, you might see a strange light coming from behind the curtain in the highest room, but you should never stop to look at that light. If you do, after a moment the whole world will go black, and then…”
She took a deep breath as if preparing to say something. Instead, she puffed out the candle. In the following second a flash of lightning lit the room, revealing Pinkie’s glassy blank eyes to the other five ponies. This time the thunderclap outside had a dramatic and drastic effect on the slumber party.
Oh my god i got as scared as everypony in the story
Well done. Loved the worldbuilding racial history/psychology bit you had in the earlier chapters.
“Rainbow, come to bed with me.” --> "Alex, I'll take 'Misunderstood Musings' for 500 please!"