(I wasn't able to fit all that I had wanted to into the short description.)
An alternate sequence of events in the two-part episode "The return of harmony", discord manages to dodge the swirly rainbow of doom and he manipulates it to turn the six mares into stone. To prevent their power from falling into discord's hands, the energy that makes up the harmony elements shoots into space to find a group of four who have the capability to stop discord. What will happen?
Every like I and positive comment I receive motivates me to write, and every dislike and hurtful comment I get causes me to feel sad and I'll lose the motivation to write.
Chapters (5)
Interesting premise. I'll keep an eye on this.
4155474
i'll be writing more tomorrow. peace. and thank you for your favorite :)
4155545 Looking forward to it.
This story shale not go unnoticed. Keep up the writing my friend.
So far your characterization of the mane six is good. You've gotten their personalities down well enough, but their reactions to certain situations seemed a little toned down, though that just might be from lack of expressions during those points. Here's hoping that our heroes make it through the forest at least relatively intact. I eagerly await more.
4157981 yeah, i've been working on that. So far i've been doing really good, but I can definately do better. I was planning on having Pinkie break the fourth wall this chapter but I couldn't seem to fit it in.
This is surprisingly good
4159840
I'm glad you think that :D i'll keep writing more and MOAR!!
I'm sorry...
I didn't mean to shout...
So what's with the last third of this chapter being written in pure italics? Makes sense for the spiders, but not the humans, so you may want to fix that.
Also, could you please clarify as to what kind of OCs you want. Kinda hard to submit something if you have no idea what needs to be submitted. Pony? human? changeling? I got no clue.
Other than that, I'm enjoying this. Please continue.
4160099
I took notice and i fixed it. the reason for it is the spiders speak a different language, that joshua can understand and translate. the italics were there to clarify that those words were spoken in the other language.
I swapped the italics to underline because with how much italics, the two fonts kinda seemed to start running together so i felt the need to change it
As for OCs, I was thinking like regular ponies. i was also thinking about some royal guards. both day and night guards
noo! my first dislike... aww... dang 14 likes before getting a dislike is still something for me to be proud of :D
I've felt the need for this comment. You may have noticed that Spike and Princess Luna are tagged, even though they are not in the story. They will be, but not for a few more chapters
4160156 There there man, it happens to the best of us. There's always at least one hater running about sticking his red thumbs in our stories.
That sounded better in my head.
4160387 stupid haters... they don't know what they're missing
I love this story. If you want you can use my oc kryna (shes a changeling) in this story
Read my story if you want to understand what shes like
4160407 I'm glad you are liking it! i'll be sure to continue writing it in the morning!
well my computer is about to die so i gotta go let it charge, have a good day and brony/pegasister on!
Veeeery nice story ! have a fav and like for your work and i expext to see more good work
4168998
why thank you. I enjoy the encouragement
it makes me hungry to write more... that didn't sound weird did it?
4169018 it sounds more like you use a lot of energy writing this story
weirdly enough reading makes me hungry and stay up past 1 o'clock most of the times
Also i am thinking of making a character of my own but i can't write to save my life ...
but if you want him i could put a discription of him in the comments
dunno if he will be to op for this story thou
4169079
i'm looking for any type of OC character, be he cockatrice, or be he manticore. If i like the Idea, I'll find a way to implement him/her into the story
4169102 Well then... Commence the typing
Name : Hollow Soul
Race : Human / Undead Alicorn if not accepting humans
Speciality : Necromany,Hollowing and Souls (including soul stones)
Personality : Even thou he is a necromancer and has a very grim job he is very up-beat in most situation. He has a few awkward tendencies like looking at souls of fellow persons through his special ability. When the time rises he turns very serious and full of rage. He has the tendencies to steal power from dying people who are willing to give them and for that gives them a last gift... (look under powers).Hollow is very sophisticated for his being and rank and often likes to clarify things (but not in the "im smarter then you" way)
Story : Hollow is a novice Necromancer taken up by a lich.He is often tasked to do small jobs or train his magic from his teacher but from time to time he researches dark curses and Hollowing. He is an expert on Hollowing and can partly lift it.The imortality stays but he can reduce the cost of the soul by about 10 percent.he has no knowledge of his past and often ignores question about it or tries to avoid them. if unavoidable he clarifies them in a very offensive manner. He has been living for 200 years which is yound in his teachers eyes and is rather weak compared to normal necromancers. He has lost many friends to so called "Heros" and doesnt like people with negative views of his orientation. Hollow often needs to clarify that Necromany itself isnt an evil type of magic and that magic doesnt have an orientation, but mostly that people associate it with evil persons who misuse their power.
How he came to Equestria: He came to Equestria when he was interlocked in a battle with a White mage.When he died he didnt respawn at an bonfire but in the Everfree. There he build up a small home using 2 unboud dead manticores and a bound Skeleton using a soulstone of an old friend of his. The Skeleton is called Dawn (he is quiet, praises the sun, can use small light speels like heal and is Hollows best friend). The people dont talk much about him but they think that he is some ooold evil out to take over the world... even thou he is a nice guy and just does his research on souls and necromancy ( most probably feared in Equestria )
Powers : Hollow Soul has 3 Special Abilitiesand a Special Artefact and a Curse. Hollow has a pair of special eyes calles Soul Seeker. These Eyes allow him to see the souls of people around him and allow him to estimate their strenght.He then has the Life Stringers Hands Giving him the ability to create bound creatures using the souls of passed away people in soul stones and giving them their concious back if wanted. The Last is the Rare Ablitiy given to him by his ancestors Blood that ,When he is about to die he can turn into a lich for a short time, and giving him the ability to summon spirits of legendary knigths and even dragons to his aid and give them ghost like bodies for a short duration.His Artifact is the Ring of Souls allowing him to communicate with souls in soul stones and hauting ghosts. The Curse named Hollowing is the one form Dark Souls which eats at your soul when you die ..slowly making you insane (soul can be restored with an item called human effigy( i think) ). his normal powers are Medium Necromancy, Summoning, basic elemental school (fireball and such), and not much else ...
also english isn't my first language ~cough~
(fix) god dam now i want to edit these litttle bits and bobs
4169245 well i like the concept. perhaps i'll implement something like this after the main plot is done
4169349 Well Thank you
i shall read and wait until then as i am not confident enough to write about him myself ,,,
and for that i would need to plan a lot ....
and not just imagine it on the spot
Pretty good, but the dialogue didn't sound realistic to me. To me, getting abducted definitely sounds like a wtf moment. Mid fuck would have been the moment to be abducted.
4177280 would you have preferred that the four show up in equestria by some magical portal? because that is TOTALLY realistic...
and TOTALLY not cliche