That... that was beautiful. Masterfully written, gripping storyline. Fav'd.

Hm. Ending spoilers to anyone reading.

So, in the original she kinda ignores the doc completly, and here she decides to pay him a visit. I'm not sure which one I like better. I guess what 'it' is meant to be would help decide.

Wow.

There are no words....

Well done.

... I love it!

I have to say, that was an amazing piece of work

I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, captivated by the story

Liked and faved

A psychological thriller you say?

Bravo, I say.

Excellent material to be picking up for my next fic as well..

Just incredible 5/5

I haven't read the original Cupcakes (And I don't plan to!) But this caught my attention, well done

I just realized something.

What did you mean by

'There never was a Pinkie Pie.'?

I really didn't understand that.

I'm going to say I wasn't fond of it because there was no clear resolution.

I was hoping that he would crack her, and there would be some closure, but there wasn't.

I'VE NEVER BEEN SO PISSED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!

I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING A STORY OF THIS VERY SAME CONCEPT! THE SAME DAMNED THING! I'm so, so, SO disappointed and frustrated right now I could kill something!

Just... OH MY GOD I haven't even read it yet, I will, but WHAT THE HELL!

Pretty messed up in a good way.

>>384041384041 Many horror stories don't have full resolutions. It's intentional, as the lack of closure provides an unsettling feeling for the reader.

>>383918383918

"Pinkie Pie" was a hoax. She was just a persona that she used to hide her true self.

no sleep for me tonite, again

Well written my freind. However I find the ending confusing and i'm a bit dense, could someone please explain it simply for me? Much appreciated.

Hmmm last lines remind me of a pink Floyd song I think it's hey you Or something

This is an amazing story, but just ending it so suddenly like that is just plain cruel.

......well buck........

and i mean buck buck buckity buck buck

Jesus that was creepy

oh god. I noticed a spelling error that is sadly hilarious. somewhere around where pinkie pie first comes back to being pinkie pie not pinkamena, it says "she creamed louder than before" It just made me lol.

10/10

bravo, my friend! bravo!

amazing this is one of the reasons why I like Pinkanema Diane Pie she enjoys manipulation which I find so fun to watch

I had the same bloody concept mate! Beat me to it though, great job man, definitely worthy of the diane pie archives!

"infants and babies" same thing. Also various grammar mistakes, maybe you should get an editor. Apart from that, I was very impressed by your intimate knowledge of psychiatric disorders and medications, as well as your unsettling portrayal of Pinkamena. Well done sir!

Edit: Gah this grammar is bugging me. If you want, contact me and I'll give this a once over for grammar.

Amazing

Amazing! It was a masterpiece, and i am sure i speak for the many when i demand for a sequel!

Sleep? Who needs it!

I thought I didn't need sleep. now I need a padded room with only a handle on the inside.

“I can see your point, Pinkamena. But I still don’t understand why do you consider yourself so important,”

OOH! BURN!

They should probably have killed pinkie when they had the chance. Has equestria never heard of lethal injections, or the firing squad? Oh well. They're going to have to learn the hard way I guess.

After reading Pinkie's fake story, i started to cry. But when he said "Im just bucking with you", I literally sucked my tears back in

Made cringe with excitment

must find out what happened and if he lives

As I was reading, I could feel my hear pounding. Bravo, kept me off my seat and thrilled me until the last word.

>>384206384206 Oh my gosh, really?! I was about to say "poor you", but then when I read the name I was like "OHMYGOSHISITJUSTMEORISITREALLYCELESTIABRONYWHOWROTETHISWTF?!" I'm so, so sorry D: It's dissapointing just knowing that, it already happened to me once, I haven't had a click of inspiration for 3 months and when I finally found something to write, I realized somepony had already written a story with the exact same concept... :( I know how you feel... Though, it's not a reason not to read it. I didn't understand some parts of it, like the end and the part with no Pinkie, but it's still very, very awesome :) Hope you will get over it with an even better idea!

I read this a while ago, please do more!

heh... i hope to god... with the treats i say today, i hope i dont end up like Pinkamina...

WE LIVED!!!!

You can't stop me! I'm the gingerbreadman!

>>378205378205 Beautiful... not... exactly the right word choice

Wait, Pinkie is on the loose again and is out to make more cupcakes?

Alright men, listen up. If your number comes up, you know where to find me.

Codeword: Cupcakes

Image: http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/newsfeed/000/171/871/Cupcakes%20I%20just%20read%20the%20Cupcakes%20MLP%20Fanfiction_84b39b_2000942.jpg?1315523333

This was very good, and even though the original story wasn't written that well turns Pinkie Pie into a charismatic villain. I sincerely hope you or someone else writes a sequel to this for a resolution.

>>384375384375 Wait I think you have it wrong I think that it was implied that "Pinkie Pie" was the lesser yet alternate persona of Pinkamena who   was indeed the real body,mind,and soul

at least thats what I think

Deserving of a sequel!! The best follow up story I've ever read by far! Scary as hell though...

LOCK YOUR DOORS! GRAB YOUR WEAPONS! HIDE IN YOUR BASEMENTS! FLEE!!!

>>383918383918 pinkamena was the originall persona and she made up pinkie pie,kinda twisted in a way

you did a wonderful job just execellent im going to make a video of this 10/10 one thing i did notice was sometime there was a she were the doctors he was suppose to go but dont bother man you did excellent

>>384457384457 basiclly pinkie broke out of prison and killed his ex-wife i think and i know she killed his daughter

their betterbe more chapters dammit

What the god damn hell, that was good an' all, but now I really want some vengeance on this bitch.... must... kill...Pinkamina Diane Pie.

Christ... Pinkie Pie may be my favorite pony... but behind the scenes... she just scares the living hell out of me, because I know it is all possible that, if MLP were real life, that Pinkie Pie COULD be an unempathetic mass murderer.

>>388689388689 NO DONT FLEE TO THE BASEMENTS SHE'LL KILL YOU IN THERE RUN TO THE ONE PLACE SHE WONT FIND YOU! THE ROCK FARM!

>>384621384621 Open your heart, I'm coming home (guitar solo)

Holy shit.

If you asked me to sum up the story in two words, those would be it. However, I will provide for you a more detailed review below:

Where can I start? Both characters are excellently defined and yet utterly flawed (that is not a bad thing). Their interactions and the events of the story were actually making me start to shake with both fear and anticipation. I never was one for the original Cupcakes' style of horror, with the blood and gore and urine and whatnot, so this kind of psychological thriller-horror is far more frightening to me. I laughed at the most gory scenes of SHED.MOV, as well, which doesn't help with my reaction to the original fic, which is a mixture of extreme nausea, mild horror, and frustration at the fact that, while sickening, it just isn't scary enough to me. I find it laughably nauseating. It makes me feel sick and slightly weirded out, yes. But I tend to sit and laugh through the original. With this fic, I actually felt genuinely scared by the plot.

The ending makes me feel like I've been hit in the stomach in that way that makes you think, That was a good fic, but I feel really bad and don't know if I love or hate the writer for what he or she just did. It's a downer, but it's played excellently and to very startling and very disturbing effect. It reminds me of the ending of Se7en. It really adds a kind of grim spin on the lovely world we have grown accustomed to in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, which is shown to be extremely sweet and comfortable, with no issues worse than a few minor arguments between friends and the occasionaly escaping Lord of Chaos.

The Cupcakes fanon really shows a darker side to Equestria. Stories like this take My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, a harmless children's programme, and turn them into dark, bloody, post-modernistic nightmares, deliberately taking our preconceptions about the My Little Pony franchise and brutally deconstructing them into an uncomfortably realistic portrayal of the world depicted in the popular television series. You get a feeling of nihilism from these stories. As if to suggest that, deep down, despite what the show tells us about the ponies' innate desire to be friendly and harmonious with one another, there is that spark of hate buried inside every one of them.

I say "post-modernistic nightmares" because I feel that the Cupcakes fanon really is a new kind of umbrella postmodern horror genre enclosed inside the My Little Pony fanfiction community - while many stories seek to portray the feelings of the ponies, their everyday lives, and whose throat they like to stick their tongue down every once in a while, Cupcakes and its "family" of sequels, prequels, and spinoffs, though often written in very clichéd prose by rather unseasoned authors, not to toot my own horn, all seem to turn to a common factor: Blackening nice things. There is a reason the original story currently holds a "[GRIMDARK AS FUCK]" rating on Equestria Daily: Because its plot is extremely unexpected by both outsiders and insiders to the fandom. When we see something as cute and innocent as My Little Pony, we do not expect there to be murder, and especially not on a level as graphic as is depicted by the...talented...Sergeant Sprinkles. Similarly with this story, we do not expect to see the cheery main character Pinkie Pie - or rather, Pinkamena Diane Pie - reduced to a psychotic, manipulative, life-ruining, child-murdering...bitch, is the only word I can think of.

While Cupcakes is by now done to death, and the sequels featuring other characters in Pinkie's or Rainbow Dash's original roles are both butts of jokes in the fandom by now, especially if said character happens to be killing or is being killed by a Mary Sue OC, but that's beside the point: This story was actually fresh. It contained ideas I have never before seen in a Cupcakes-fanon fic. This is an absolutely brilliant story, captivating at every word. It already has one of my likes. And it will immediately become one of my favourites as well.

I apologise for my in-depth analysis. I felt I needed to say these things. This is a masterful piece of work, and I may indeed have to follow you as an author yourself, Lucefudu. You've got potential massively exceeding what I expect from a fanfiction community. You are proof that Sturgeon's Law is still in play here. This is novel-worthy prose.

Thank you so much for the excellent read, and congratulations.

"This is some kind of Dashie’s pranks, isn’t it?” -

"The mare mentally cringed at that; not only it was another order from him, but she hated talking about it." - I think this would read better as was it

"Just as he was done thinking about it. The door opened and a bouncing Pinkamena entered the room" - Shouldn't that be a comma instead of a period?

"but the guards didn't bother to even look through th door’s window" - Shame on you!

"He placed his patients prompt-books on the corner of the table" - I can has possessive apostrophe?

>>389083389083>>389095389095>>389097389097 I like your picture

oh sweet Jesus. BE MERCIFUL ON US MR AUTHOR PLEASE!

Aww, nuts Luce, what's with all the grammatical mistakes?

"His ears perked up instantly, as he listened to the sounds of something opaque hitting somepony."

He must have extremely good hearing, to be able to determine the light absorbency of an object by the sound it makes alone.

N'aww, but this was a good story regardless.

Her "twitch" ability and the ability to pretty much bend reality around her could probably put her on level with Light Yagami...

Well I must say, the change to Comic Sans for this April Fool's day prank has really killed the mood of the story.

Pinkamina wants to return and kill Rarity?! NO WON'T LET YOU *Pulls out Gnasher Shotgun* This is almost like hunting boar, better even. Ahhh, this reminds me of my childhood.

I don't like the idea of torture at all and ponies are no different. This is a good story regardless of using ponies instead.

However you will be shunned for killing Fluttershy.

Shun the non-believers Charlie...

I hate scary movies. I love this. youve earned my respect.

...

I have this picture of Hannibal Lecter saying cheerfully: I ate his liver with lima beans~

i wouldn't mind some cupcakes right now...

Image: C:\Users\Matt\Pictures\New folder\trixie_u_mad-(n1297487137376).gif

God, this story. SO GOOD! Why does it have to be complete already?!?!?1

I'm coming home

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

I loved this story it is so well written and the story just drew me in it is soooo goood 10/10

I love alternative stories of Cupcakes and this one was different and I like it. I was hopping this story was a little longer because if felt unfinished.

arround 3/4 of the way done and i read that only after twilight dissapeared, did the princesses come look... FUCK THAT, THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY ARE TOO DAMN VALUABLE TO THE PRINCESSES TO LET 3 OF THEM DIE BEAFOR THEY COME TO LOOK, FUCK THAT ILLOGICAL SHIT, I QUIT. *guves ornamental middle finger as i walk away*  

So, basically everypony dies under the hoof of Pie

Is there a chance of a continuation?

at first i was like "duuude!"

then i was like "DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!"

good story man, i mean, i love the human mind, how it can become... rearranged. psych stories are one of my favorite genres.

you appealed to your audience good sir.

you were such a star that i had to make you this youtube video :D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoWM9LC7tN0        if you didnt cactch on i did a rarity acsent

but anyways i did make a video please dont thumb down its hard to recover from it

That... was amazing.

I LOVE PSYCOPATH STORIES

But seriously now, good job. I simply loved it. (and maximum LOLZ when Pinkamena fools him =D)

I'm just gonna go soak my brain in acid now, k?

This was very well written, but utterly fucking disturbing - even more so than Cupcakes if you ask me.

I really hate it when good writers write stories like this, because i simply can't put down a story if it is well written, even though i despise grimdark.

Oh, and i liked the Pink Floyd reference at the end here.

Very nice!

epic!

Awesome, the blood splatters were a creative touch

you said a lot in 0 words

>>593321593321 It's an image. The code doesn't count.

>>593186593186>>593202593202>>593251593251 what you guys said

>>593327593327

Brilliant! That's all I can say.

Very, very, very excellent. This fic really gives some support to the mess that was Cupcakes. Great job, would read again!

Holy shit, featured twice?!?!?!? Mother fuck! I've totally got to read this now!

>>593391593391 Featured twice? Wat?

>>593403593403 This was in the featured box like... A month ago or something! That's why I even bothered clicking this at the moment! lol

I left a comment up there early on, too! This totally deserves a second time around though. Are you sure you don't remember?

>>593411593411 I remember it being featured... but it's not featured now.

So it didn't got featured twice.

But yeah... about your comment... a friend herped the derp and deleted the last chapter... prompting me to lose it and all the comments.

I've contacted knighty about it... but I'm not sure if much can be done.

I read this a few months ago. But the SCROLL? GENIUS!!

how'd you do it? I wanna do something like that.

>>593429593429 Not featured my amazed PLOT!

Image: http://i.imgur.com/QFIuI.png

I took that screenshot less than three minutes ago. It's the last one on the ticker!

>>593431593431>>593351593351

A friend drew the scroll for me... tomorrow (hopefully) we'll have another thing to make you fans squeal.

>>593440593440

WHAT?! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?! I don't see it.

WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!

>>593449593449 I wonder if there's some crazy technical issue going on? lol... I'll check in a few minutes. This is weird.

>>593449593449 when I saw the blood splatters, something cracked inside me and died.

Yay i liked this story

At first, I was like "Why did Luce update this story and why is there no words?"

Then I was like

Image: http://www.mypokecard.com/en/Gallery/my/galery/UH5hF1by3Qq.jpg

>>593481593481 If knighty can help me un-derp the chapter my friend derped and deleted, tomorrow there'll be an extra extra.

Who knows... maybe I will continue this?

... nah.

Then I wish knighty the best of luck that he can do something

Now then, what do I (and the rest of your fans) have to do to convince you to continue this story? (Don't you dare respond with "Nothing LOL" or a answer

>>593530593530 Well... I haven't established much...

And I've seen so many Cupcakes spin-offs that started good but lost it on the long run...

I'm kind of scared to carry on to be honest. I think I may destroy this story completely.

Still no recognition ;~;

I made this for lucy here by request and it seems the author's note was lost >_>

Damnit knighty.

Anyway...yeah.

Lurvs u lucy <3