This looks very interesting. It'll be neat to see where you take it.

One complaint: he whistled with a bag of bits in his mouth?

Oh god dat cover art. Nice choice of pic there

Looks like this is gonna be interesting, I'm gonna see how this plays out.

Hooray for stealing things!

Well, the previous story you wrote was...decent. I guess I'll see how this one goes just for curiosity's sake.

>>487047487047 Indeed! It's a wonderful setup for a character and leaves a lot of plot devices and characterization open. There's the robin hood, the petty thief, the good kid bad neighborhood, the thrill thief, the only way to survive, the gentleman thief (often overlaps with the master thief), the list goes on!

Mind you stealing in real life is dangerous and illegal and except in extremely extenuating circumstances shouldn't be attempted let alone done, but as a literary tool it's one of my favorites.

Faved

Nice cover art!

>>486892486892

Dear lord...I am a huge admirer of your work, Whirring Gears! I mean, I can't write second person for crap (which I regret, as I enjoy the genre). But you are a master of it! Wow...oh and, Kody, nice work. This is impressive. I like the way you convey the characters emotions, the way he manages things. When you had the shopkeeper turn into the alley, I almost freaked out. I mean, like you said, never lose sight of your target! Errr...not that I would have any experience on that matter. I, uh...I definitely do not steal...at all.

Good job can't wait for the next chapter.

>>486892486892

Image: http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/040/a/2/Motivational_Poster__Facepalm_by_Paperluigi180.jpg

I'm an idiot. This is why I need proofreaders.

Perhaps humming would be more appropriate here.

Wow, not even one day, and I've already got 40+ people tracking this...

Not sure if I should be honored, or extremely freaking nervous knowing that I might possibly disappoint everyone and- STOP THINKING, AUGH!

>>489986489986 Just write what you want. And I love the idea of this one and it is about my favourite pony.

i love this, please update soon!

>>489986489986

It means they like what comes out of your head. Keep getting those things in text and post them!

Very neat. Intruiging, favoriteable.

Image: http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/345/9/d/applejack_approved_by_ambris-d4ivlan.png

I'd put this in the Fluttershy one, so now I'll do it again here. Why? Because I can!

>>502289502289

Image: http://fuuu.us/260.png

THERAFLU

Image: http://www.budgetsavvydiva.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/theraflu_lemon.jpg

HOLY SHIT MAN, THIS STUFF WORKS. I FEEL LIKE I COULD PUNCH DOWN THE EIFFEL TOWER.

On a side note, I had this playing on loop the entire time I wrote this chapter.

>>514221514221 AWESOME.

Double awesome for good chapter, let's see what kind of treatment this "thieving varmint" will get when Applejack pull him out of river.

>>514499514499 probably not a bad one when he says he only did it because he had no food or money. Well that's what I would say anyway.

Image: http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091214031344/left4dead/images/3/3c/Francis_Profile.png

I hate dogs...

>>514716514716

Considering how our thieving varmint is probably going to wake up in one soon...

"I hate hospitals."

>>515331515331

...hospitals?

Image: http://fuuu.us/171.png

Finally! I've been waiting for this chapter.

Image: http://i.imgur.com/tQbW5.gif

I was not dissapointed. Can't wait for the next.

>>514221514221 Okay I love this story and it's the only story at the moment i'm following intently. But won't it be difficult to make a romance out of this?

>>516732516732

Well, I've seen more ridiculous scenarios through which romance bloomed. Besides, I've got certain..."peripherals," through which the romance will arise.

amazing. can't wait what applejack has to say to this thievin varmint! update soon!

>>517297517297 Awesome cant wait for the next chapter.

I'm on a writing spree, and you can't stop me.

Image: http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/208/096/Disregard%20the%20Constablaty.jpg

>>519840519840

Wouldn't dream of it!

wow can't wait for the next chapter, please update soon!

Seems like "me" is in a very tough situation. Although sleeping in a barn is a lot better than sleeping in prison right?

Liked. Tracked. and vary enjoyable good work

>>520797520797

Your name and avatar are incredibly familiar to me...yet I can't remember where I've seen you before...

Holy shit.

The protagonist is such

an

ASSHOLE.

Me feeling that way about him is probably a sign that you made a snide greaseball thief correctly.

Woot. Next chapter please.

Image: http://shanghaiist.com/attachments/Jessica%20Colwell/rainbow-drool.jpg

So awsome....

It was a slightly stupid move, attempting to get away with an entire cart. To take a dozen or so zap apples would have been enough. Secondly, a good thief sets up a distraction so he can make a clean getaway: setting the house and/or barn on fire would have been enough. And as a bonus, the fire might accidentaly kill someone!

Well, that's how I would have done it anyway.

And try to remember: A good thief doesn't get caught.

>>524257524257

Hey now, I already said you were a thief, not a murderer. I won't have any of that in my house.

>>524973524973 And to that sir, I say Screw you. I do what I want. Even if if means burning down farmhouses in a series of  random and unprovoked arson attacks.

>>527944527944

Very well then. By the way, if several, large men in suits carrying restraining equipment come knocking on your door, I had nothing to do with it.

man, i am one greedy thief. i should have played enough skyrim to know that taking too much stuff at once will get me caught. oh well i really like this story. i cant wait for moar.

>>520661520661 well in prison guys are gonna try and rape you so yeah, unless this turns into a ponified version of deliverence

Seems like AppleJack is enjoying the pain she is giving to the protagonist.

>>541597541597

Wouldn't you?

Tartarus, not Tartaris. Just thought I'd let you know, I used it as a full fledged plot point for one of my fics.

hard work and no one to talk to? not even music?

iv done hard labor at a farm more that enough time to know NOT to forget my ipod or that day becomes twice as long and three times as hard.

>>541854541854

Thanks, figured I couldn't get through a chapter without messing up something small and trivial like that. It's kind of a rule for me to screw up like that now.

>>541866541866

You just provided me with a little material to use next chapter.

No I think Applejack is all in her right to enjoy the show, she payed for her ticket , Zap apple are not cheep!

>>541943541943 Okay, since you're insisting it's 100% moral as opposed to somewhat ambiguous, now I HAVE to say this (sorry, Kody910, still a great premise):

My Little Pony: Indentured Servitude is Sadism

Another great chapter.

>>541961541961 Yes I noticed that too... besides, the apples are technicaly also breaking the law: they're keeping the protagonist against his will, in order to enact some kind of "justice", instead of handing him over to the authorites. To me, that sounds like a mild kind of Vigilantism. It's for the courts to decide what "justice" is, not a pair of inbred apple farmers.

>>543488543488 It could also be interpreted as settling things out of court, rendering payment for damaged and/or stolen goods via services rendered. I'd have somepony draw up a legal document, though, because "citizen's arrest" can only go on for so long if I'm not mistaken, and I imagine a court might outright dismiss mild to moderate cases of theft when indentured servitude crosses its desk without a more clear-cut and agreed upon definition of what services would be rendered for how long. Of course, who knows what Equestrian law is, really?

Get on it, Twilight, let's see some of that overly-meticulous wording actually put to some use!

>>543587543587 Seeing as Equestria is governed by a tyranical ruler, I imagine the laws are pretty strict, with harsh punishments.

Suddenly, a legal debate.

Image: http://scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3978-hmmm.png

Let's just ignore all that technical mumbo-jumbo, hm? Makes things easier.

Looking at YOU preaplanes and Bloodpool.

(INB4 This coming from the guy who has a fucking lawyer as his avatar...)

yay new chapter! byt dang this guy is negative, if that were me i would have the coy attitude, but be a little brighter in spirit. i would imagine that the better you act the sooner youcan leave.

Another very awesome chapter, i wonder when things will start to happen between the protagonist and Applejack. Can't wait, please update soon!

I wonder when applejack is going to start liking him, i like this a lot, please update soon!

nice

I love how he is trying to piss off Applejack! its funny

I like the way you've portrayed Big Mac in this story, he's hardly ever put in stories and if he is he doesn't speak very much but with this story, to me it feels like you've added this amazing depth to Big Mac. Can't wait for the next chapter.

>>556302556302

A lot of people portray Big Mac as being somewhat dim, merely because his favorite words are 'eeyup' and 'nnope'. In my headcanon, he is a lot more intelligent than he lets on, so I try to let it show through my writing.

>>559128559128 That's probably why I feel really attached to Big Mac in this one, it's he best portrayal I've seen of him.

Man...Thanks for the awesome chapter and all, but now I'm drooling over the thought of Apple Pie and Apple Turnovers! This story is TOTALLY worth it though. I'm keeping tabs on this....

"In a cosmic sort of way, yes." SPONGEBOB REFERENCE! If that really is what that line was.

>>565580565580

I gotta pay my respects to the one cartoon I was devoted to before MLP.

Damn this is really getting good, this story should get featured its that awesome ! I can't wait for the next chapter, please update soon!

I've enjoyed the story thus far, it's been set at a nice pace with a decent plot. I hope you don't rush through this and continue to keep a solid pace. Well done.

every chapter I read the more I like it!

Another great chapter, keep up the good work  

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applejack_lolface.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png

Image: http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://static4.fjcdn.com/comments/+_1fe47dcbbf320a29bd7cd167b377da01.jpg&sa=X&ei=K7SqT724G4XH0QWK65X3Aw&ved=0CAkQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNE4xlb9zQFAn-2Q0QXY1fG0rcfruA

I'm liking this story. I realy am.

>>566005566005

>>566590566590

>>566742566742

>>566970566970

>>568172568172

Thanks for all the gracious comments, everyone!

And magee, this? Being featured?

Image: http://www.court-records.net/animation/phoenix-sheepish(a).gif

Heh heh, I don't know about that...

Think you can confuse me with your subtle hints about the plot? Nope.

Heh, Putting away that newspaper like a boss

Am I...Am I lurking on my own story?

What the buck is wrong with me?

>>582693582693 Nah, it's fine. That little notification system showing up every time somebody favorites or coments? I would lurk too, and have.

Damn this story is good, i've said it before and i've said again i'm quite surprised this hasn't been featured yet. can't wait for the next chapter which you better update soon!

>>583489583489

I'm assuming it's because I posted it at a time where many people didn't notice it. Or it just sucks.

And okay boss, I'll try to make it quick.

Fuckin' A, lad.

We need moar pony.

Soooooo...what are the odds AJ is gonna find that paper before long?    Either that, or she's gonna learn the story from another source.

>>584068584068 high to very high with a chance of chance of shitstorms.

Don't leave the newspaper where someone can find it, burn it! Then there is no evidence!

>>589665589665

What is it with you and fire, seriously?

>>591174591174

...I ...I don't know...  Anyway, you were the one who called this fic "Scorched".

Anyway...

Image: http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://www.gamesprays.com/files/resource_media/preview/burn-all-the-things-5637_preview.jpg&sa=X&ei=hlixT_6-N4ah0QXOv5GHCQ&ved=0CAkQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNEJsBLpGDra4G2mdjWQdpme_GOVCw

>>647086647086 my bad my bad won't happen again pinkie promise

>>647108647108

It's all cool. First for everything, ey?

Besides, I give you props on your dignified response. I've had the pleasure of dealing with...individuals, who have used phrases like that before. They don't respond as politely when I tell them I don't enjoy it.

>>647122647122 lol yeah I grew up around those kind of ppl so their mannerisms and speech patterns kinda rubbed off on me

I love your story tho the protagonist is hilarious

Good sh.... I mean stuff

>>647141647141

Oh, swears I have no trouble with! Just...you know, other, slang I can't stand.

>>647147647147 ah, you mean like derogatory terms and such?

But Rap and Hip-Hop being my favorite genre of music, you hear that Word a lot....

You a coo' dude

Imma be watching you..... No Homo

>>647172647172

Spot on.

And it's fine. You're not the first. Just piling on to the nervous wreck I'm slowly becoming.

>>647219647219

Downloading them as a txt file, I'm assuming? If so, there's no way around that other than going through and breaking the paragraphs yourself.

I type everything right here on FimFiction, which breaks lines for you automatically. Nothing I can really do to help you, mate.

Celestia damnit......

Thnx anyway

It's been, what, two weeks since the last update?

Sorry bout the long wait, I've just been a bit busy lately. High School Graduations and whatnot tend to take up some free-time...

Hmmmmmmmm......... I wonder why she felt some guilt. I mean, surely it can't be that she never knew her father too, right?

Started this today, and I have to say...

This is pretty damn awesome. You're a great writer, Kody. Keep it up!